Chapter 11
Make Like A Tree and Leave
Bloodywisp was dead. Black Tom was behind bars. Jean Grey used her crazy psychic powers to read his mind and disarm the bomb. Everything worked out well, except for one thing… My salad was gone.
I painted a portrait of Intelligent Salad in Mr. Rasputin's class. I tried to make him look his best, with extra carrots, radishes, and cucumbers. I was sure to draw him as romaine lettuce too. I added one extra touch, a light Caesar dressing and some chopped up eggs on top. I'm sure he would've loved that. People tend to view others in an idealized light after someone dies. I wanted to make my friend look as delicious as possible for his portrait.
Playing video games in my underwear wasn't what it used to be. Intelligent Salad was always there wisecracking on how stupid the games I liked were or giving me hell for not doing something more productive with my time. It just wasn't the same.
I was at lunch one day, eating a salad. It wasn't a smart one either. It just went "Doy, doy, doy!" like a big idiot, even as I covered it in croutons and ripped it apart with my fork. It tasted good, but… I'd be lying if I didn't say I was looking for a new best friend in that salad.
No.
I needed to move on. I needed a new friend. I saw Lauren, eating alone at a lunch table across from mine. I needed to talk to her, for real this time. It was what Intelligent Salad would have wanted for me. I stood up and walked over to her.
"Hey, mind if I sit with you?" I said.
"Not at all." She replied.
I noticed that she had a copy of Dune in her bookbag. Holy crap! I read Dune too. Okay, so I got into it through playing its computer games, but still.
"You into Herbert?" I said.
"I just started the series. It's good so far." Lauren said.
It was a start of a beautiful friendship, one that I would cherish for the rest of my life.
Thank you, Intelligent Salad.
This story is dedicated to anyone reading who likes salad. Salad is awesome. I love salad.
Thank you for reading my story.
The End