BELLA POV

Edward was finally mine. I mean, he was everything to me. He always has. He always will be.

And yet I could never fully be with him.

I wasn't even allowed to date him. It was a rule that I had only discovered a few decades back. I was not allowed to be involved in physical contact. Technically, I wasn't really meant to touch him, like a teacher to a student. I could fend others off, but I was meant to be in the background, never to be found.

I removed my lips from his mouth, although my heart was saying things to my brain that would have gotten me detention in school.

Edward was the perfect gentleman. He knew when I needed to stop, and when my head to the side, lips out of reach, he smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry, that was out of line."

I wished I could just tell him not to be stupid and kiss me again. God, if only. But I knew my duties as a Royal Angel, and after ninety four years of abiding by the rules, that wasn't going to change anytime soon.

"That's right," I croaked. I had grown better at lying to him, a skill I was not proud of, but necessary. "It was. And you won't do it again."

I leapt off the bed and went quickly out of the room.

My mouth was on fire just repeating those words in my head. Nothing would sober me up from wanting him.

My own personal drug.

He was running after me. "Hey, Bella, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, I-"

I turned to face him. "Don't be sorry." I told him. "I just don't like you like that. You're my best friend, Edward, that's the way it's gonna stay. Besides, there's some else." I lied. He would never let go until I did. I knew that more than anything in the world, and if I was wrong, well, then I didn't know much.

"Someone else?" he asked, obviously hurt. "Who?"

I bit my tongue. Of course he's going to ask that!

"Someone. Just someone." I lied. "He's an Angel too."

I tried to escape from him, go hide in a corner and cry or something, but he kept after me. He talked to me, but I didn't stop, not until I got to the forest.

I stood just a little way away from the vegetation. I looked at it, looking for some kind of sign. Nothing came, so I sighed. Stupid Bella.

"Bella, please wait." Edward begged, grabbing me by the wrist. I tried to turn away, but he placed his hands of my face. "Please?"

I swallowed. "This is why I wanted to leave in the first place, Edward." I lied easily; although my heart and brain were about to head butt each other. "I know how you feel, but I'm sorry, that's not the way I feel about you."

"But you said-"

I nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry, maybe back then it was true, but not anymore. And I thought for that second that it was true, but after kissing you, it felt wrong."

He shook his head, his eyes sad. "I love you, Bella." He croaked, and I swallowed without noticing, almost choking.

"We come from different worlds, Edward. You from hell, me from heaven, it'd never work." This much was true, but it still ached to say it.

And just then, looking into his eyes, both our worlds had just shattered. Why can't life be easy?

EDWARD POV

"….I'd never work."

My world broke. I loved her, I had told her this. I had always loved her, and I thought she had loved me back, but there was someone else in her life now.

God, why can't life be easy? I might just have to ask him that one day….

Bella didn't hate me, at least I could say that much. She just didn't love me.

And that was enough to tear me apart.

She walked away from me, and I did not bother following her anymore. I wasn't going to change her mind. Her mind was set on that other guy, the guy that deserved her more than me.

"I can't do this anymore, Edward." She talked to me, but she did not look at me. Her face was hidden by shadows. "Steve will find a replacement."

"I don't want a replacement, Bella. I lost you for ninety four years; I don't want to loose you again."

She ducked her head. "You never did. You just thought you did."

"Still the same thing in my book. I always thought Carlisle saved me, but I realized how much my life sucked until I saw you again. You'll always be my best friend, Bella, I'd never ask for more than that. I'm sorry if what I did was wrong, but I can't loose you again."

She was slightly shaking. Was I pissing her off that bad?

She shook her head and ran, and I didn't stop her. I wanted her to be happy, not stuck here with me, pressured all the time. Maybe one day she would come around, realize what she meant to me.

I highly doubted it.

BELLA POV

I turned away from him. I was crying, and I didn't want him to notice.

"I don't want a replacement, Bella. I lost you for ninety four years; I don't want to loose you again."

I ducked my head to he wouldn't see any tears falling. They just slid down my face.

"You never did. You just thought you did." I croaked.

"Still the same thing in my book. I always thought Carlisle saved me, but I realized how much my life sucked until I saw you again. You'll always be my best friend, Bella, I'd never ask for more than that. I'm sorry if what I did was wrong, but I can't loose you again."

I couldn't take anymore. One more word, and I wouldn't be able to leave him.

I took off, and I hoped one day he would forgive me.

I highly doubted it.

***

"Why are you in such a grumpy mood?" Emmett grinned at me and sat next to me on the couch, punching me in the arm. I returned the punch, but smacked him one in the face hard enough that he went sideways off the chair. He was stroking his cheek and looking at me oddly.

"What's in your boxers?" he asked.

I sighed. "Sorry, Emmett."

He grinned again. Nothing could put down his spirit. "That's okay, little bro. I'll always be your punching bag, the difference is that I punch back."

Alice walked in and smiled sadly at me. I nodded to her. She had seen everything.

Emmett had noticed, and his grin disappeared. "Is something going on here that I don't know about?"

"Very observant, Emmett." I told him sarcastically, but it didn't sound like it because I honestly couldn't be bothered holding up the pretenses.

He looked to Alice, knowing I wasn't going to give him anything.

"What is it?"

She smiled, and I swear, if she could, she would have burst into tears. Her breathing was ragged though, giving that impression. Emmett went over to her quickly and coddled her, dragging her over next to me.

"We have a grumpy, yet sad Edward, and an almost crying Alice." He observed. "ROSALIE!" he screamed down the hallway.

She came in an instant. "What's the matter?" when she saw Alice. She instantly moved over to Alice and took over from Emmett.

Emmett then shouted out the back door. "Jasper! Carlisle! Esme!" then they appeared. He then screamed something that made Alice cry harder. "BELLA!"

My breathing caught, but only Carlisle noticed.

What is it son?

I shook my head, avoiding his worrying eyes.

"BELLA!" he screamed again. "COME ON! EDWARD'S UPSET! GET YOUR GLORIOUS SHINING BUTT IN HERE!"

There was no response.

"She's not going to come, Emmett." I told him.

"Why? Is she home again? Wasn't she, like, just there?!"

I sighed. "She's gone, Emmett." I told him, making everyone gasp just the slightest and then fall sad.

"Hello, hello, hello." A cheerful female voice came from the door, and I looked up, hoping that Bella was standing there, waiting for her to forgive me.

But it was just some random stranger.

"Hello," she said again, a huge smile on her face. "My name is Penelope." She smiled. "I'm your new Angel."

She came and sat by me on the other side of the couch.

"You must be Edward! Oh, I have heard so…much about you. I'm Bella's replacement! Oh, we are going to have so much fun. I'm going to give all the girls a pedicure, and a Mani, and then we are all going to go swimming in the creek. How fun will that be? I heard that Bella didn't take you swimming often! Poor you guys! I love the water-"

"Just shut up!" I screamed at her, and she fell silent instantly, although a smile was on her face. "Just stop saying her name. She just saying anything at all and just…disappear!"

I stormed out of the room and slammed my bedroom door shut. I collapsed against it, letting myself slide down it until I hit the floor.

My eyes stung with uncured tears, and I cursed. I didn't care anymore. I didn't care about anything anymore.

It was like Bella had died again.

It should have been me.

BELLA POV

I cried myself too sleep that night. I knew where he was. He was within my reach, and I couldn't see him. Only I was in the way.

"You did the right thing, coming too me." Charles told me, trying to wrap his arms around my waist, but I growled warningly at him. He thought better of it.

"I didn't come to you." I told him. "I came home."

"If not for me, then why?"

I turned on him, my mouth open shock. "You know, the world doesn't revolve around you! You aren't the only person on this world! And if you want the world to revolve around you, go to Satan. I couldn't give a rat's ass."

I walked into my room and locked him outside. I pressed my head against the wall where he couldn't see me, and let myself slide down it until I hit the floor.

Edward and I were so different, in everything we did, in everything we thought, in everything we loved.

And somewhere inside me, I knew that I wouldn't be able to avoid him for another ninety four years. No way in heaven.

I was trapped in the prison I had made for myself. Why didn't I think to leave out the bars?