A/N: So sorry for the long delay - I've had a lot going on. Got my own computer (old, but lovely) and had to get things working and files transferred, plus I haven't had much of a writing bug. And my cough illness has been acting up, so that wasn't fun. Wrote the first part of this ages ago, but hopefully it won't sound too disjointed.

Thanks, as always, for the feedback.

XI - Red Magic Marker

Paige was drowning her sorrows in chocolate when she realised that she'd already made her decision. The guidance counsellor had regrettably been correct - there was a snowball's chance in hell that she'd finish any of her courses if she tried to work on all of them. She supposed she should be relieved, but instead, she was just miserable. Her life was crumbling apart before her, and all she could do was sit around and get fat.

She glared down at the bowl of chocolate chips that was rapidly disappearing, then poked at her stomach.

"One chocolate, two chocolate, three chocolate, four. Watch the fat cheerleader crash through the floor," Paige muttered. She dumped the rest of the chocolate into her mouth, then poked once more at her stomach, harder this time. She groaned softly and wished she'd left the chocolate chips in the bag, where they belonged.

She hauled herself up off the floor and into her deliciously pink bathroom (newly renovated since Dylan had left for university). She turned on the tap, splashed water on her face, and cursed as she watched her cheeks jiggle.

The scale was practically calling her name, and even as she stepped on it, she knew it was a bad idea. Her heart sank when an ugly 146.5 pounds stared back at her. She frantically threw off her clothes, and although they made a difference, she was only down half a pound.

"This is NOT happening," she muttered to herself. "Not, not, not. No way." She groaned and stepped on the scale once more. The number didn't change. She wanted desperately to go for a long run, and then an extra-long workout at the gym, to be repeated every day for the next year, but the fact was, she was exhausted. She couldn't seem to stop herself from gorging on food, and she couldn't exercise.

She knew it was stupid - more so, even, than cutting had been - but she couldn't help the statistics on eating disorders from flowing into her head. She knew her friends wouldn't care that much what she weighed - they'd always accepted Terri, after all - but then again, she remembered a few choice remarks that had been made behind the other girl's back.

She sank to the floor, her head in her hands, and tentatively glanced up at the counter. Her (pink, of course) toothbrush was staring back at her - and it was that which finally convinced her. She wouldn't risk ruining her manicure, but a toothbrush handle? Way too easy.

Before she had a chance to change her mind, she grabbed it and crawled over next to the toilet. Being so up close and personal was almost enough to make her gag as it was. She didn't quite know what she was doing, and she pondered for a moment before shoving the toothbrush handle in her mouth.

Paige wasn't exactly the bravest person in the world. The first jab barely made it an inch into her mouth before she chickened out. She was close to giving up when she made one desperate push, and in an instant, her stomach turned inside out.

It took her by surprise, and half of her vomit missed the toilet entirely. She gagged again just looking at the mess. She coughed a few more times, then wiped her mouth and let out a feeble, "Mommy?" before pulling herself together.

She groaned, but forced herself to dispose of the mess after taking a few tiny sips of water. It didn't take her long to get everything (including herself) cleaned up, and light a few candles to dispel the acidic stench.

She returned to her bedroom, flopped stomach-down onto the bed, and cried.

Ellie was alone and daydreaming when Ms. Kwan entered the room. Sean had been kept after school to catch up on work, so she wasn't expecting anyone for another hour. She jumped when the teacher cleared her throat.

"Um, hi," she said, feeling awkward in her hospital gown - and even more so in a bed on the mental health ward.

The teacher gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm probably not someone you were expecting to see. But I thought I'd drop by and see how you were doing."

Ellie bit her lip. "I don't have my schoolwork done. I'm sorry. I'll try to get caught up soon." She assumed that was why the teacher was really there.

Ms. Kwan shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Ellie. I'm not concerned about that - you're an excellent student. I'm concerned about you."

"Oh," Ellie said. "Oh. Um, I'm fine. Thanks." She looked down at her hands.

"I heard about your father," the teacher continued. "I'm sorry. That can't be easy. My husband - anyway, you don't need to hear my experiences."

"It's okay," Ellie said. "It's just nice of you to stop by." She offered a tentative smile. Despite being slightly on edge, she was touched that the teacher had cared enough to come.

Ms. Kwan nodded. "Um, would you be comfortable if I spoke with your doctor for a moment? Not about your treatment of course. She wouldn't be allowed to tell me anything confidential of that nature."

Ellie shrugged. "Go ahead. I don't mind."

The teacher nodded again. "Okay, well, I'll see you later, Ellie. I hope things go well for you."

Ellie thanked her and the teacher soon left, once more allowing Ellie's mind to drift. It wasn't long before she'd forgotten all about Ms. Kwan's visit.

Dr. Cavanaugh entered the room a few minutes later and sat down. "Your mother's here. You ready?" Ellie shook her head, then nodded. "Which is it?" the doctor asked.

"I'm ready."

Dr. Cavanaugh poked her head out into the hallway, and a moment later, an uncertain Mrs. Nash entered the room. She approached Ellie to give her a hug, but her daughter moved away before she had a chance to make contact. Mrs. Nash sat down instead.

"Your dad made it here fine," she said, her voice rising nervously. "Um, he looks good. The doctors say he might wake up any time now." She smiled hopefully.

"Good," Ellie said, her voice cold. She made no effort to smile.

"I miss you..." Mrs. Nash said, more uncertain than ever. Ellie just shook her head. "I've been doing real good in therapy," she continued. "When Sean called me... I had slipped up. But that was the first in a long time. And I'd take it back if I could."

"You can't."

"Ellie..." Mrs. Nash said desperately.

"No, Mother, it's not that easy. You can't just stop drinking for a week and expect it to make up for everything. You can't suck up to me like you used to. I'm not a child anymore. I'm the naive six-year-old you twisted around your finger. And I'm not stupid. You can't just expect me to take your word for something, or to forgive you every single time you fuck up and have a drink. It doesn't work that way, Mother."

Dr. Cavanaugh started to speak, but Mrs. Nash was quicker. "I thought you might understand," she said, the calmest she'd been since she'd arrived. "I thought you might understand, since you're in here because you're battling an addiction. I hoped you could try and forgive me. I guess I hope that someday, you will."

"Don't you DARE compare yourself to me. Don't you DARE take that holier-than-thou attitude, Mother. You're nothing like me. You had responsibilities. I was a child, Mom." She broke off, close to tears, then forced herself to keep speaking. "Okay? I was just a child." She swallowed hard. "You should have been the one taking care of me, dealing with it when I threw up or made a mess. You should have been setting a good example so I didn't have to turn to cutting or alcohol or drugs. You shouldn't have been squandering all our money on booze and forcing me to find part-time, underpaid, HORRIBLE jobs just so I could keep eating." She wiped at her eyes, and her shoulders slumped, the fight gone from her body.

Mrs. Nash had closed her eyes, and Ellie was surprised to see that she, too, was crying. "I know," she said. "I know, Ellie. And if I could take it back - "

" - You can't." Ellie sighed. "I think you should go now." Dr. Cavanaugh gave her a hard look, which she ignored.

Mrs. Nash started to protest, but stopped herself. "Okay," she said quietly. "But... would it be okay if I came again some other time?"

Ellie hesitated, then nodded, surprising everyone in the room. "Yes," she said. "I think that would be okay."