Over a month had gone by and Chloe had become a regular in the house. It was now February of 1994.
Tate never understood why I kept my distance when she was around. He wanted me to show myself to her and for us to be friends, but there was no way in hell that would be happening in her lifetime. I didn't need her to see how ugly I was, I didn't need her pity party. Tate didn't understand that and when I tried to tell him that he rolled his eyes and said she was 'different'. Nor did I want to be her friend when I was completely and utterly jealous of her; for both the fact that she was with Tate and that she was alive. Tate truly wanted to go all the way with her, and I didn't encourage this decision. I told him he shouldn't do it, but he also informed me about how close he was to her and that how he has been obsessed with her since the first moment he laid eyes on her, and so on. I held back my smirks when he said this, because the same could be said for me.
I didn't blame him though. She was very beautiful and she didn't seem all bad. Although I didn't like to admit it, she didn't seem like the typical high school cheerleader. She seemed very genuine to Tate and seemed to like him very much. I shouldn't be so bitter about this whole thing either, since he was young and alive. He deserved to have a girlfriend and be in love.
In the weeks that had gone by, Cassie had also dropped off a box of my old belongings. Tate and I went through them. Toys from my childhood, photographs, my favorite novels, clothes, things like that. One shirt that I found I had been wearing for two weeks since she dropped off the box. It had been my favorite shirt during my teen years and I was happy to have it again. It was an oversized grey and red baseball shirt with blue and red stripes, it was soft and comfy and I hadn't worn it since I was 17. The shirt smelled like home, like Colorado. I remember in my hurry to pack for California, I wasn't able to find it, so I shrugged it off and quickly forgot about it. I regret my actions, but I didn't have time to look for it at the time, I was too busy fawning over Hunter and our mad fantasy.
Valentine's Day was approaching and Tate was nervous to get something for Chloe. They weren't exactly together in the sense of dating. They seemed to just hang out at the house and sometimes hers. I have never recalled a time when they went on an actual date, or from Tate's stories.
"So, are you going to get her a gift?" I asked, sitting on the edge of his bed as he was pacing back and forth.
"Should I? I mean, we aren't serious, but I really like her." He said. He was obviously very troubled over this.
I shrugged, "Why don't you just ask her out on a date?"
"I'm too scared to." He whined.
I rolled my eyes. "Just call her and ask her. The worst she can say is no."
He groaned and moved over to the phone in his room. He dialed her number and the room became silent enough so I could hear the ringing on the other end. She picked up and I heard her voice vaguely.
"Hey, Chloe, I uh- I know we aren't serious or anything, but I was wondering… on Valentine's Day-"
She cut him off, and I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad sign.
"Okay, no, yeah, it's totally cool. I get it. Ok, bye." He said and hung up the phone.
I waited for him to speak; he looked up at me and gave a fake smile and small laugh, "She has plans on Valentine's Day, with her boyfriend, Kyle."
Before I could speak he cut me off, "I should have known. I mean, I'm too weird for her anyway. I should have known when she doesn't even look at me in school and always has to talk to me when no one else is around. I should have known it was too good for it to be true. Why would she like me anyway? I'm just some loser."
I stood up from the bed, "She's dumb for choosing some jock over you, Tate. You're amazing and funny and smart and everything a girl could ask for. You aren't some loser. You're Tate Langdon, the nicest and most amazing person I've ever met."
He smiled a bit when I said this, but he still seemed very upset over the situation. He looked at his feet while I continued to stare at him. All of a sudden, I started to hear him whimper and cry. I sighed and frowned. I pulled his body to me in an embrace and he immediately grabbed me for support.
"Please don't cry, you're going to make me cry," I said softly. Tears were forming in my eyes. I hugged him tighter. I didn't want him to be hurt like this. He deserved to be happy. He didn't deserve this. We sat on the bed and his head was nuzzled into my neck. His tears made my neck and the shoulder of my shirt wet, but I didn't mind.
"If it makes you feel any better, I'll be your Valentine's date." I laughed, trying to brighten the mood. I wiped some of my tears away with my hand.
He stopped hugging me and pulled away, staring at me. His tears were still plastered to his face and his eyes were slightly red. We stared at each other for a moment and then everything slowed down.
He leaned into me and closed his eyes. His lips and mine suddenly connected for a moment. They were soft and honestly everything I had dreamed about kissing. I pulled away and stared at him in awe. The thought that I was some rebound clouded my mind for only a second, but I was too caught up in the moment and my body just seemed to take over the better side of me. I knew it was wrong, but I placed my hand gently on his neck and pulled him to me. His hands made their way to my waist and I nudged my body closer to his. I could hear his breathing and our noses brushed each other as our lips were centimeters away from each other. I looked into his eyes for a brief moment and then I moved in again.
I could kiss Tate for hours. Everything in my body was telling me this was right, except for my brain. I knew I couldn't do this. I couldn't kiss him. I couldn't lead him on like this when we both knew the ending to this. He would move out in 2 years and go to college and I would be here. I would always be here.
I pulled away and looked down, not making eye contact with him, although my hands were still wrapped around his neck.
"Did I do something wrong?" He asked. "Sorry, I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't do this often."
"Liar," I laughed, "Did you totally erase Chloe from your memory?"
He chuckled, "Yeah, but she took the lead on it most of the time…"
I looked up at him in all seriousness and sighed. I stroked his cheek with my thumb and whispered, "This is wrong."
He nodded, "I know."
He didn't say anything after that. We sat in silence and eventually shifted so he was cradling me in his arms.
"We can't… be in a relationship." I breathed.
"I know." He sighed.
"Say something other than I know, please." I laughed.
"You're the only light I've ever known, Ellie. I know that we can't be together, but I want to so bad. It would be completely wrong, and totally go against the laws of nature, but I just feel something with you. I feel something…different." He said.
"I meant something that wouldn't make me want to kiss you," I whined. "I just, I can't have you doing anything drastic while you live here. You can't kill yourself. As crazy as that might sound, you already tried that. I can't have you emotionally attached to me or anything of the nature when you leave. You can't stay here forever. I want you to have a normal life."
"I figured that out the first one hundred times you've told me." He laughed. "But I understand. We can't be together, but can we at least be best friends still?"
I looked up at him and nodded. I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't want to do this. All I wanted to do was sit in bed with him all day and just kiss him. I had to fight the urge though. It wasn't natural. Ghosts and humans aren't supposed to be friends let alone kiss.
I knew it would be hard, but it was for the best, right?
A/N: Yay! I've been waiting to write this chapter forever. I'm excited to move further into the plot line that I have figured out for this. I'm going to be taking more time to write these chapters though, so give it maybe a week or so at the latest. (: