Chapter 11

"Well…I guess the most burning question I have is…why? Why did you donate sperm?" She felt her cheeks flush at the question, but it was a legitimate question. He didn't strike her as the type.

"Honest truth?" Daryl asked, taking a sip of coffee.

"Honest truth," Carol said with a nod.

"I needed the money. Merle'd got arrested on some drug charge, and I scraped every last cent I had to post his bail, but I was still short. I was in Atlanta at the time, tryin' to pawn some off my junk off, and they wouldn't buy any of it. I just happened to walk by the door, and I figured, what the hell?"

"Was it just the one time?"

"Just the one time. Figured nobody would use it, and they'd end up dumping it or somethin'." A little smile played at his lips. "Never figured a gorgeous redhead would show up in my life sayin' she picked me."

"This redhead has more grey in her hair than anything anymore," Carol laughed.

"I like it. Suits you. Grey brings out your eyes."

"Oh shut up," she snorted, grinning a little to let him know she was kidding. "I suppose I could just say they're natural highlights, right?" Daryl grinned at her and took another bite of bagel. "So you used your donation money to bail your brother out of jail?"

"That and my life saving's. He wiped me out. And wasn't even a week after I bailed him out his ass got arrested again. He went to prison, and he's been there since."

"I'm sorry, Daryl."

"S'alright. Was workin' on my bike out in the yard one mornin', when some man walks by, says he likes my work. Offers me a job right then."

"That's how you got to New York?"

"Yep. S'how I got there, how I eventually bought the place out. Made a lot of money out there."

"You're sure you won't miss it? Being involved in the day-to-day?"

"I'd rather be here. Could always open a new shop, make a new chain, huh?"

"Yeah," Carol offered with a little smile. "You could."

"First thing I'm gonna do when I get back is get myself a place. Don't want nothin' fancy. Just somethin' to call mine."

"There's a beautiful house for sale up on the lake. I looked at it a few months back, but it was a little too much," Carol said with a smile. "Besides, I like this place. It's where I brought my babies home. Lots of memories here." Daryl eyed her for a moment.

"You grow up around here?" he asked.

"Me? No. Not here. Further south, closer to Florida, really."

"Been here my whole life, 'til New York," Daryl murmured. "Old trailer my folks had when I was a kid is still standin', believe it or not. Can't believe it ain't been shut down by the damned board of health." Carol watched him for a moment. "Me and Merle had each other. I had Rick, but Merle just had me. Knowin' Rick is probably what kept me from bein' like Merle. Kinda wish Merle'd had a friend like that, ya know?"

"Mmm," Carol said with an understanding nod, urging him to continue.

"My folks, they weren't much. Mama followed Daddy around like he was God's gift, and he treated her like she was dog shit. I mean, he'd hit on her, he'd hit on us, but she stayed, and she begged him to forgive her." He shook his head. She died when I was young, and all I can remember 'bout her is that she'd warn me and Merle when she knew Daddy was comin' home. Tell us to get out, tell us to go hide or go play somewhere he wouldn't see us. She took most of the hits, and Merle got it, but never like me. Used to hit me 'til I bled." He glanced up at Carol to see the tears glistening in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Daryl." He gave her a little shrug.

"Just swore to myself I was never gonna be the kinda man he was. Swore to myself if I was ever a dad, I wouldn't make the same mistakes. I never thought 'bout bein' a dad, really. Still not sure 'bout he whole thing. 'Bout somebody takin' after me, lookin' like me, maybe even…maybe even actin' like me. I was a little shit, so I'm sorry if Sam or Sophia give ya trouble." Carol grinned at that.

"They're a little rambunctious from time to time," she admitted, "but I wouldn't change them for anything."

"What are they like?" Daryl finally asked. Carol let out a little sigh of relief, a smile spreading across her mouth.

"They're perfect. Well, I'm their mother, so I suppose they'll always be perfect to me." She smiled a little. "Sophia reminds me of myself when I was little, and Sam, well, he's a sweet boy, but he's definitely a typical boy. He loves to play with his motorcycles and he loves to get dirty. I swear, I spend more time washing him and washing his clothes than I do anything else." Daryl chuckled at that. "Sophia's my girly girl, but she can get just as down and dirty as her brother. When they were three, I caught Sophia holding the water hose outside, making a mud pit. It took me three hours to clean her hair out. I hated to get dirty when I was little."

"Shit, I spent all my time outside," Daryl pointed out. "I remember bein' real little, and my grandma would have to pick me up and carry me into the bathroom kickin' and screamin', cause I just wanted to play outside, and takin' a bath was the worst torture." Carol laughed at that.

"Yeah, that's Sammy sometimes, but he's getting better. He minds well. They both do. But they are four, and they do get into mischief. A lot. "

"What about you?"

"Me? There's not really much to tell," Carol said with a shrug. "I grew up with a mom and a dad, and I may have been a bit spoiled, because I was an only child. My parents didn't have a lot of money. They were older parents. Mom was…forty two when I was born. Dad was a little older than her. They've both been gone for years now, and I kind of had to find my way on my own. They insisted I go to college, which I did, and I'm thankful for that, even if I only finished paying off my loans six months ago." Daryl grinned at that. "I miss them. I wish they'd have gotten to meet Sam and Sophia. I know they'd have loved to have been grandparents." The warm smile on her face was accompanied by watery eyes, and she sniffled. "I really wish I could have talked to my mom when I was making the choice to get a donor. My dad probably would have been uncomfortable with it, but he'd have gotten on board. My mom? She'd have accepted it no matter what, because she always told me she just wanted me to be happy." She watched as Daryl swallowed a lump in his throat, and she wondered if he was thinking about how drastic their upbringings had been. They both came from very different places, yet here they were now, drawn to one another by fate. Kismet.

"Why'd you do it?" he asked quietly, catching her off guard. "I mean, ya said ya took things into your own hands after Ed, but…I just wondered. Why'd ya go that route?"

"I get asked that a lot," Carol said quietly. "Like I said, I didn't want to put my dreams on hold waiting for the right man who might never come around. I wanted to be a mom. I was ready, and I was financially capable, and it took me a long time to really make the choice, because people would tell me I was just throwing my future away, that I was making a huge mistake. But my kids aren't mistakes. They're the best things that ever happened to me." She took a sip of her coffee. "Michonne was awesome. She was so supportive. I just…I remember crying her the night after the insemination, and I just…I was terrified. I panicked, and I thought, maybe it was the wrong choice. And she just took my mind off of it, made me laugh." She smiled a little. "See, Rick and I met before he met Michonne. I introduced them. You remember Lori."

"Oh, I remember Lori," Daryl said with a smirk. "Best thing she ever did was run out on him, 'cause I ain't never seen the man happier."

"Well, I saw something between Rick and Michonne a long time before they ever even entertained the idea of dating each other. When Lori left, Michonne really helped him. She had her own son, she had her own life to deal with, and she just stepped up. And I really admire that. She took on so much with what she already had to deal with, and she still has her head up, and she's happy. And I want that. I want that kind of happiness someday." She smiled. "I love my job. I love my kids. I am happy. I just want…"

"More," Daryl offered.

"More," she said with a smile, feeling her heart flutter a little. "What about you? You really never thought of having kids?"

"Thought about it in terms of it scarin' the ever-lovin' shit outta me. I mean, I couldn't picture myself bein' nobody's dad."

"You'd be a good dad," Carol offered. "I mean, you don't have to look at your past to see your future. Just because your father wasn't a great dad doesn't mean you wouldn't be. Look at you, you turned out alright. You had a good friend, and you were smart enough not to follow in your brother's footsteps. You did ok, and you're conscious of what you went through, what kind of man your father was. No way could you ever be like that. I can't see that at all." Daryl stared at her for a moment before looking down into his nearly empty coffee cup.

"Don't it scare you?" he asked quietly, finally peeking up at her, as his hair fell into his face. He brushed it back anxiously.

"What?"

"You don't really know me. We just…kinda jumped in head first, and…and I ain't complainin'. M'just sayin', it's…"

"It's new. We have a lot to talk about. We have a lot to learn about each other. But I want to."

"So do I," he offered, reaching across the table and curling his fingers around hers. "Really ain't lookin' forward to goin' back to New York."

"Take as long as you need," she offered, feeling a knot worrying in her stomach. "I'll be here when you get back." She swallowed hard. "And the kids…you can be…I mean, we don't have to tell them right now. It doesn't have to be like that. We don't know where this is going, and I don't want them to get hurt."

"I understand," he murmured. "I ain't sure how to do this, Carol."

"Neither am I," she admitted. "But I'm willing to find out. Aren't you?" He gave her a little nod and squeezed her hand. "Good. When you get back, we can figure this out. I'd like them to know you. If you're going to be a part of my life, you're certainly going to be a part of theirs, and I want you to know that I don't expect anything of you. You don't have to be their dad…you don't have to be anything. You can just be…"

"Hey," Daryl offered, giving her hand another squeeze. "Let's just see what happens, alright? I ain't sayin' no to nothin' here. I'm just…I'd like to know them. They're your kids, and that means they're gonna be pretty damned special." Carol grinned at that. She couldn't help but feel a pull at her heartstrings as a longing wish filled her heart that someday they would be…no, don't go there. Don't set yourself up for heartbreak. Just stop. Stop it.

Carol gently pulled her hand back, and at that point, the washer's cycle ended. She got up quickly and began to put his clothes in the dryer. She felt the air change around her, and she felt his hands move to her hips as he pressed into her from behind. He rested his chin on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her stomach, holding her.

"Come to New York. Next weekend."

"What?" she asked, a bit breathless.

"You can bring the kids, too. Just say you'll come."

"Daryl…I…"

"I'll buy you a plane ticket, and…"

"I can buy my own tickets, Daryl. You don't have to do that. I just…New York?"

"Why not?"

"Because I have to make plans," she reminded him. "I just..."

"You can't drop everything all at once. I remember. I got it." He sounded a bit disappointed, but he leaned in and kissed the side of her neck. "Guess I'll just have to settle for a phone call?"

"Every night," she said with a grin. "You'll be sick of me."

"Nah, ain't never gonna happen," he promised. Carol turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"You're kind of amazing, Daryl Dixon. And I'm kind of a mess. What a pair we make, huh?"

"I ain't perfect. And I like my women a little messy," he said with a chuckle.

"We make quite a pair."

"Yep. We sure do," he murmured, tapping her chin lightly to angle her face toward his. He kissed her then, sweeping his tongue across her lips, sending shivers down her spine. When he pulled back, he leaned his forehead against hers and wished there was some way he could stay, that he could just forget about the airport and New York and the bike shop and just stay with Carol. But the perfect little bubble they'd put around themselves since last night was only going to last so long. They had to get back out into the real world and deal with it. He had loose ends to tie up. She had a job to get to. But he was finding that the longer he held her, the more he looked into her eyes, the harder it was to even think about leaving.

...

The airport was insanely busy. After finding a parking space, Carol had accompanied Daryl through the airport as far as she could go.

"You should go," Daryl said quietly, holding onto her hand as he adjusted his carry-on bag across his shoulder. "Don't wanna be late for work."

"I'm kind of the boss. They can deal without me for a while," she pointed out.

"I like a woman in charge," he chuckled, pulling her close. The an outsider, to a complete stranger, they'd have looked like any other happy couple, content with one another, still in the stage where saying goodbye is a mushy, sappy ordeal best left in damned romance novels. Still, they didn't care. Carol brought her face up to his cheek and pressed her lips against his.

"M'gonna call you soon as I land," he promised.

"Good," Carol breathed. "Let me know when you get home. Safe." He gently stroked the back of her neck as he leaned in, pressing his lips against her neck, just below her ear.

"That ain't my home. This is. I'm just leavin' it for a little while." Carol sighed heavily, feeling her lip trembling as he pulled her into a hug. She blinked back the tears she was trying not to shed, and she was thankful that they began to clear up before he pulled back. The last thing she needed was for him to see her turn into a weeping mess because he was leaving. She hadn't even known him three full days yet, and she was already completely smitten with him. If she wasn't so crazy about him, she'd have been completely disgusted with herself.

Over the PA system, a woman announced it was time to board, and Carol sighed heavily. This was much harder than she'd anticipated.

"I'll keep an eye on your truck," she promised.

"Thanks," he murmured.

"You're sure you want to come back? I mean, you might run into some hot, blonde thing when you get home." Her tone was a mix between teasing and dreading.

"Stop," Daryl muttered. Carol smiled a little and leaned in, kissing him softly. "I'm comin' home. I promise."

"I trust you," she said with a nod. "Just…whatever this is…don't feel like you have to…I mean I don't know what this is, and…"

"Carol," he interrupted, putting his hands on her shoulders, his cheeks flushing red as he stared into her eyes. "I'm comin' home to you." Carol felt the knots in her stomach slowly beginning to uncoil, and she relaxed against him as he pulled her in for another kiss. And he lingered until the last possible moment, before he had to turn and rush to find his flight to board.

"Bye," she called after him, as he turned back to offer her a quick wave and a look of longing, and then he was gone, lost in a bustling, noisy crowd.

She lingered for a few moments, feeling a little shell-shocked at the turn of events the weekend had taken. And now he was gone, leaving for New York, and she suddenly felt the realization settle in that she didn't know when she'd see him next, and the thought of it brought tears to her eyes.

She quickly grabbed for her phone, and she dialed the only number she could think of.

"Hello?" Michonne asked on the other line.

"Mich?"

"Hey! Where are you?"

"Just heading to work," Carol murmured.

"Do you have an audience?"

"What?"

"Why is it so noisy?"

"Oh. I'll explain later. Um, would you meet me for lunch? The usual place?"

"Sure thing."

"How are the kids?"

"Great. Sophia has a crush on Carl, by the way, so good luck with that one."

"Oh God." Carol choked out a little laugh.

"Rick says she may be too mature for Carl." Carol snorted at that. "You ok?"

"I think I will be," Carol replied. "Just gonna need some time."

"Alright. I'm getting ready to take the kids to school. I'll meet you at lunch. Rick's going to swing by and pick the twins up from pre-school. You mind calling and confirming that with the school?"

"It's fine. You're both on the list I have with the school just in case. I trust you both, and I'm so thankful you offered to watch them last night."

"So…did Daryl change his flight?"

"How did you know?"

"Just a feeling," Michonne said in a sing-songy way. "He did? What happened?"

"I'll tell you about it later. I just…I need time to process everything."

"Alright. I'll meet you. Want me to text Tara? Tell her to come?"

"Sure. She might have class then though."

"Yeah, I'm sure she'll skip for this," Michonne laughed. "See you later."

"Bye," Carol murmured, ending the call and sticking her phone in her back pocket. She sighed heavily, gave one last glance at the doorway Daryl had slipped through, and then she turned and headed outside for some fresh air, feeling a tightening in her chest and a sob rise in her throat. You're not this girl. You're not the girl that cries over a man because he's leaving. Now dry up. You're fine. Just take a deep breath. He'll be back soon.

She couldn't help herself. The moment she slipped inside of her car, the tears started, and she knew she would be an absolute mess when she got to work.