Like I said, I'm doing the two chapter update thing, and here's the second one. Enjoy!
Inuyasha's Anatomy and Caffeine
Inuyasha's day had started out bad. He'd woken with only twenty minutes to get to the place the interview was to take place, thanks to Sesshomaru, who first didn't wake him up from his afternoon nap until it was too late (he saw it as a deliberate sabotage to him getting the job), then his brother had taken forever in a lifetime in the shower, using up all the hot water. His shower was very brief due to using cold water and he felt that he could use another one because he'd used little soap so he wouldn't be too late. Then he'd had to hop through the trees in his business suit to get to the building. People stopped and stared at the teen rushing through the trees like Tarzan, but it was the quickest way to ensure that he'd be there on time.
On one of his landings, he'd come across a man who'd just left a Starbucks. Inuyasha snatched up the coffee in his hands and downed it. "Thanks pal, owe you a million!" He then hopped off, leaving nothing to suggest that he'd even been there except the empty cup. The thing was, though, considering not only Inuyasha's age, but also the fact that he was half demon, he and coffee didn't mix. He was hopping through the trees so fast that he had trouble discerning his own self where he was going! He crashed into a large red wood, but popped up off the ground like a spring. "Whoa, I didn't even feel a thing!" he said excitedly, then continued on his way.
Strangely, he got there not on time, but five minutes early! "I'm here for the interview!" He nearly yelled at the receptionist, who was on the phone at the moment. She held up a finger to tell him to wait a moment, but his nerves were on edge. He reached over the counter and pressed his finger on the button on the machine to make her lose the call. She gave him a cold stare. "Hey, hi there. I'm here for the interview?" He said again, tapping his fingers on the counter top loudly and very fast. "Have a seat, I'll call you when they're ready." she said, giving him a fierce look and pointing to a chair.
He sat down, then picked up a magazine on the table before him. Not only were his motor skills on turbo, so were his reading skills. He flipped to a random page and started reading, not knowing he had finished it in five seconds flat! Then he flipped the page and read the next and the next. He'd finished the magazine within a minute and threw it down, tapping his fingers on the side of his face as though he was extremely nervous. No one else was there, so he had no one to talk to. And thus began talking to himself.
"Hiya there, name's Inuyasha! Inuyasha's my name, nailing this interview's my game!" he practiced for when he went in. The woman behind the counter stopped typing to stare at him. "Oh, where'd I get this suit? Oh, just some store. What's that? You want one too? Give me this job and I might be able to make that happen!" "Sir, there's no one here," she said to him. Inuyasha gave her an annoyed stare. "Mind your damn business, woman! I'm here for an interview about a secretarial position, so I guess you're about to get canned!" The woman gasped. This does make the fifth time I've come into work late in two weeks. But I've been with the firm for two years, they wouldn't fire me!
The minutes passed and still nothing had happened. Now to pass time, Inuyasha had cut the bottoms off of two paper cups from the water machine in the lobby and held them up to his eyes, making buzzing sounds like a fly. He got up from his seat and ran around like a little kid, engrossed with his game. He hovered around the woman, especially the sandwich that was beside her. Taking things a step further, he reached over and grabbed it, shoving it in his mouth. "Rude-ass bastard!" She shouted. Inuyasha only gave a muffled buzz and "flew" off.
A door behind the front counter opened and a woman in a business suit came out. "Inuyasha Taisho?" she asked, looking at some papers. Inuyasha stopped buzzing, mustard covering his mouth and the cups still on his eyes. He tried to swallow, couldn't, and grabbed the bottle of soda off the receptionist's desk. He took a long swallow, then set it back down. The woman picked it up and made a disgusted face at the backwash of meat, cheese and lettuce in the drink. "Oh, you're just nasty," was all she could say and held it out for him to take it. He turned it this way and that for a moment, then downed it, food and all. Now to add to the coffee, he had caffeinated soda in his system.
He followed the woman into an office. He rushed past the woman and sat down in the chair behind the desk, spinning it around in a circle. "Wheeee!" he shouted, laughing freely. The woman only crossed her arms and stared at him. "Sir, your seat is here," she pointed to the one in front of the desk. "No, I don't think so," Inuyasha said, giving another spin. "This chair is much funner." She sighed and went around the desk, grabbed Inuyasha bodily, and dragged him to his appropriate seat. He fumed and slumped in his chair like a sulking child.
"Now, I want to ask you a few--" "Got any candy?" Inuyasha interrupted her. "Um, no. This is a law firm, candy is for children at candy stores. Now, as I was saying, I'd like to ask you a few questions and if you could just--" "How long is this gonna be?" he asked impatiently, looking at his watch. He'd checked it several times, but knew full well that it had broke when he crashed into the tree. The woman knew it too. "Sir, we have a clock on the wall and this will only take a few minutes if you'd let me finish. How old are you?" "Thirty-seven," Inuyasha answered quickly. She put down her pen and stared at him. "Twenty-four?" he ventured. Still she stared. He sighed and said, "Fifteen." She wrote this down on her paper.
A/N: I know most people are thinking that I got his age wrong, but from what I've read on-line, actually, Rumiko Takahashi said her own self that Inuyasha's age and intelligence is about equal to that of a fifteen year-old. This way, he's not really older than Kagome in the show. Usually I like to imagine him older, but if I've lowered Sesshomaru's age (he's about seventeen here), then I had to lower his as well!
He leaned forward to see her notes, which she pulled protectively against her. "Have you ever held a job before?" "Hell yeah, I have! For two weeks I had to massage my dad's back. He said he'd hurt it 'on the job' but I'm not sure." The woman started to write this down too. "Has your father ever touched you inappropriately?" Inuyasha thought about it. "Just last week he came into the bathroom just as I was getting out of the tub and rat-tailed me with a towel and said that he was proud of me for hitting the gym because now I had rock-hard abs." The woman's pen was a blur as it moved on the paper.
She asked him a few other things, and he politely answered them, his hyperactivity seemingly gone. Until the last few minutes of the interview. "So, did I get the job? Hm, did I, did I, did I? Tell me I did. I really need this! Like really, really, really bad! Speaking of which, you got a bathroom I could use? I mean, I got a chocolate swirly I've been holding for forever! I'm prairie dogging here!" "Prairie dogging?" The woman asked. "Yeah, you know how a prairie dog sticks its head in and out of its hole?" The woman thought about it for a moment, then gave a disgusted groan. "Oh, god! There, down the hall, first door on the left!" she quickly instructed him. He took off without another word.
She thought that she was through with him until he came back in ten minutes later. "Whew, that was a close one! Man I feel twenty pounds lighter! Hey, I just wanted to thank you for the interview, happy that you were kind enough to consider hiring me." He held out his hand for her to shake it, but she noticed that his hand didn't look wet like he'd washed it. Even when you dry your hands with a paper towel, you can still tell it was wet a moment ago. His hand looked nothing like this, and she kept her hands in her lap, refusing to shake his. He frowned, reached across the desk, and forced her to shake his hand. He kept it going up and down for a moment, continuing to rain down thank-yous until she could pull away. "And I really hope to hear some good news from you soon!" he said as he mercifully left. The moment he did, she pulled a bottle of Lysol disinfectant wipes from her desk, snatched out nearly all of them and began to wipe her hands off.
He wore a bright smile on his face as he left the building. He donned his cups again and buzzed through the door, clapping his feet to the side once as he did it. For the moment he was on cloud nine and nothing could bring him down.
Okay, don't ask me what compelled me to have Inuyasha act so childish during his interview. And as to whether or not he's going to get hired, you'll just have to wait 'till the next chapter! Now please review!