Hello my dear reader chums! I'm back :) This may be last update for a few weeks as it's back to work for me so it will take me longer to write. Hopefully, though, you won't have to wait too long! Thank you to everyone who gifted me a review on the last chapter. I'm so happy you love the story. I'm still not sure where I'm going with this story but we'll see what I come up with as I go along :p
ThatDayDreamer-x - Thank you for your lovely review! I know! She really should be with Paul but you know me, I do love the drama and I do love the agony ;) I've missed writing too! I'm glad you're happy I'm back. So enjoy all the future updates, my dear :)
lilsis321 - Yes. Kim has returned. I wonder what will be in store for her :p
BiancaTSparrow101 - Haha, yes. I do seem to enjoy my cliffhangers. I just can't resist them. I don't do fluffy lol You're right. No-one can really understand what Ellie is going through but they are her family and they mean well. I'm so glad you like the way I portray Paul. I do think he has a sensitive side but that's just not who he is. He has a lot of issues and it makes sense to me that he would be angry and what to distance himself, instead of getting help. Enjoy!
Red Skippy - Thank you. Your review made me smile. Paul does indeed need to realise that he can't push Ellie away but we'll just have to wait and see how long it takes our hot-headed wolf to realise this.
haleygur7 - Thank you. I'm glad you're happy :) I'll try to update as much as I can. I do love writing so much.
Sugarishfreak - I am out of this world :p happy? It makes me so deliciously happy that you're heart feels like it's in a blender over this triangle. It's how your story makes me feel! As for Kim... we'll just have to see what it is she wants from Jared and what it means for Ellie. :)
jessicaorr1884 - Thank you for your review. Here you go. Another update for you :)
Jared's POV
"Kim's here. Did you hear me?" I heard Embry ask.
My head was spinning. Only eight days had passed since mine and Kim's break-up. In all honesty, it felt like an entire lifetime ago. Could it really have only been eight days? So much had happened in such a short amount of time that it made my head pound.
"Mate, are you okay?" Quil says.
I feel him place a hand on my shoulder but I can't respond. My head is still spinning. My mind is whirling round and round wondering what on earth I'm going to do. Kim is here. Should I see her? Do I want to see her? Why has she even come?
I did not lie when I had told Quil I still loved her. How could I not? We had shared a life for over four years. She had been my imprint. My entire world had revolved around her. I had honestly believed that we would marry and have a family… until she ripped it all away.
"I think he's in shock." I hear Embry finally state when I do not answer.
"Maybe I should get Sam."
"No point. He's dealing with Paul."
"Paul? What's wrong with Paul?"
"He's refusing to phase back. Apparently he got into some fight with Ellie and…"
Ellie! How could I have forgotten about Ellie?! She was a part of this now.
Imprint. Ours. Always ours.
What if she isn't? Kim was ours.
She is ours. She will always be ours. Make her ours.
But she's Paul's.
She's ours too.
She's ours too. The words echo in my head as I stop the internal argument with my wolf. She's both mine and Paul's? Could we both possibly lay claim to the girl who we had both loved?
"Hey! Jared! Snap the hell out of it."
Embry's voice shakes me from my thoughts and I let myself focus solely on him. He's still a little breathless and he can barely stand still.
"Sorry. I - Where is she?"
"She's with Billy."
"Oh."
I can't think of anything else to say. The pain of her betrayal is still fresh and no matter how hard I try, I can't make my body move so I can go and see just why she has come down to this area of the reservation.
"Jay, man, you need to go see her." states Quil, who is serious for once.
"Yeah, I know."
Eventually, I feel myself begin to move. My movements feel forced and clunky. As if I'm on autopilot, I shut and lock the door behind me and follow Embry and Quil as they make their way towards the Black household.
"Paul!"
For what felt like the hundredth time to him that night, Sam yelled out Paul's name in a bid to get through to the hot-headed man. For hours, Sam had been begging and pleading with Paul to phase back into his human form. He had briefly considered Alpha-ordering him to do so, but he knew that it would only make matters worse. So, he avoided that option.
"Listen to me. You have to phase back. We can't fix this unless -"
An almighty roar ripped itself from the mouth of Paul's wolf form. For one of the rare times in his life, Sam felt almost completely helpless. Never had he imagined that Paul would be so affected by his relationship with Ellie. Yes, the volatile wolf had imprinted on his sister, but Sam hadn't once entertained the thought that the two would be so helpless without one another. Maybe he had been hasty in trying to put an end to their relationship.
Taking a step towards Paul, Sam instantly regretted his actions when the large wolf snarled violently at him and snapped at the space between them. Sam was under no illusions that Paul would refrain from harming him. The young wolf was in a tremendous amount of emotional pain and Paul was not known for remaining calm in times of crisis.
"Right, that's it!"
Within seconds, Sam had phased and was instantly bombarded with Paul's inner narrative and mental images.
I can't do this!
Paul -
It's too much! Everything is so fucked up!
Paul!
Images of Ellie filled Sam's mind as he saw what Paul was thinking. He saw images of Ellie from years before; memories of the first time Paul had set eyes of Ellie when they were just small children. Sam saw masses and masses of Paul's memories. Paul as a pre-teen playing hide and seek in the forest with a young Ellie. Paul defending a young, teenage Ellie from a group of female bullies at school. Paul smashing up the inside of his kitchen when he found Jared and Ellie were a couple. Paul nervously preparing himself to tell Ellie that he had imprinted on her, and running away instead of doing so.
There were so many memories that Sam struggled to keep up. They were coming and going so quickly; like a movie in fast forward. But there was one thing Sam realised as he silently watched the moments play out in Paul's mind… he had been wrong. Paul's love for his younger sister ran so much deeper than he had ever even imagined. It was true and pure… just like his love for Emily was.
I'm so sorry, Paul. I never realised…
Shut up! I don't want this!
I didn't know that you had loved her for so long. I just thought she was another one your girls.
'My girls'?! Fuck you, Sam! I've loved her for years! And now everything is so bloody messed up! She's so goddamn stubborn! She thinks I'm scared! Me! I'm not scared! I'm not scared of a damn thing!
"Really? Because it seems to me that you're scared you're not good enough for her."
"Well, of course I'm not! You don't want me anywhere near her and I can't blame you! She's perfect, Sam. She's… so goddamn perfect in every way How the hell did I ever get a girl like her? She should be with Jared. I break everything I touch."
By now, Paul's wolf had finally stopped snarling and tearing up the tree in the forest that surrounded the reservation; much to Sam's relief.
Among the residents of La Push, Paul's family past was well known. His parents were not much older than eighteen when Paul had been born. They had hastily entered into a marriage that was destructive to say the least. The two were a bad match for one another but it was young Paul who had suffered for his parents' incompatibility.
The Lahote's could hardly be considered good parents. Paul's mother had made a living as a stripper in Port Angeles and was constantly known to be cheating on her husband with the other fathers of La Push families. By the time Paul was six, his mother had abandoned him and moved away from the reservation; no-one heard from her again. Paul's father took the news badly and began to drink even more than he did already. A strong of questionable women came and went from the LaHote household over a number of years, as Paul's father had girlfriend after girlfriend. The man paid little attention to his son; showing him no affection, beating him on occasion, and regularly forgetting to feed the boy and take him to school. If it hadn't been for the kindness of neighbours such as Sue Clearwater and Billy Black, Paul would have never survived.
It was only after Paul phased, just before his sixteenth birthday, that everything changed. His father realised that his beatings and neglect of the boy would no longer go unpunished, and so he upped and left Paul to defend completely for himself. As a result, Paul's temper only worsened and he was regularly in trouble with the police force of Forks for years.
That's not true. Ellie is miserable without you. In fact, she's a pain in the ass. Jared may have imprinted on her but it's you she's in love with. I'm not going to say I like it, because I don't, Paul, but she's my sister and you make her happy.
For a moment, Paul stopped mentally beating himself up and paused to ponder on Sam's words. Never in his entire life had he felt happier than when he was with Ellie and he was pretty sure she was happy with him too… but that didn't mean he wouldn't break her. He had fooled himself into thinking that he could be happy and have the girl of his dreams. He was nothing more than the son of a whore and a drunk.
You can't think like that!
I can think whatever the hell I want.
Paul, you bloody idiot! My sister is fighting like hell to keep you even after you broke her heart. Everyone knows that you want to be with her, so get your stupid head from out of your ass and go make her happy again!
I'm sorry, Sam, but I can't.
Sam watched on in sorrow as Paul's wolf disappeared deeper into the forest. Someway, somehow, he would make his sister's pain end.
Jared's POV
We arrived at Billy Black's house much sooner than I would have liked. I wasn't entirely sure I was ready to face Kim yet. The last time I had seen her, she had attacked one of my best-friend's and I had sent her away for cheating on me. It wasn't exactly the most pleasant of circumstances.
The very second I entered the cosy living room of the Black residence, I saw her. She looked the same as ever; her pale brown hair brushed the top of her shoulders and her brown eyes stared right at me.
The feeling of heartbreak and betrayal came rushing over me within an instant.
"Jared." Billy began, wheeling himself closer to me. "I know you probably don't want to deal with all of this right now-"
"No. It's fine, Billy."
The statement leaves my mouth simply and I hold Kim's gaze.
Slowly, she rises to her feet and makes to approach me, before thinking differently of it, and steps back. I do not fail to notice how she picks at the perfectly manicured nails on her hands; a habit she had always had whenever she felt nervous.
Silence hangs around the room for what seems like a lifetime. Finally, Billy speaks once more and I turn my face away from Kim's.
"Jared, Kim came here because she needs to speak with you and she didn't feel like she could go to you. I know that a lot has gone on lately, but I think it's important that you give her a chance to speak… for the sake of the Pack."
"Screw the Pack!" I hear Quil shout. "She cheated on him. Jay doesn't owe her a damn thing!"
I appreciate Quil's support, so much more than he could ever understand, but his outbursts weren't helping the situation. Although he had a valid point, I knew that speaking to Kim about her betrayal was something that I had to do. If I didn't, I would never be able to move on.
"Quil." Billy's voice is firm and the command is clear.
"But-"
"This is neither the time nor place. You and Embry should leave."
"Billy-"
"Please, leave."
I offer Embry and Quil a reassuring smile as I watch them reluctantly leave; grumbling their complaints as they went.
The very second the door clicked shut, Billy's voice boomed around the living room.
"Right. I'll leave you two to it."
I watch Billy wheel himself from the room and into the kitchen, shutting the door behind himself. Finally, me and Kim are left in private.
"Jared."
Her voice is soft and I can hear the nerves that taint it. My heart hurts as I remember how happy we used to be. I don't speak. I have absolutely no clue as to what to say to her.
"So…. I, um… I heard Paul and Ellie broke up."
"Yeah." is my simple response.
"That didn't last long."
"They're just going through some problems."
"Why-"
"Listen, Kim, it's late. Did you come here just to talk about Paul and Ellie or do you need something?"
The last thing I want to talk about is Paul and Ellie, or how I had lost two of the people who meant the most to me.
"Sorry." she mumbles weakly. "I just… I wanted to see you. I missed you."
"Kim…"
"I'm sorry, Jared. I swear it. I never ever meant to hurt you. It was just the once and it didn't mean anything."
"Do you think that makes me feel any better?!"
"No. I -"
"You fucked another guy, Kim!"
"I know, Jared! I know! And I hate myself for what I did. I am more sorry for hurting you than you can imagine. I wish I'd never done it, but I did. I can't take it back but you could at least let me apologise for it."
A rage like fire has begun to spread throughout my entire body. It's like every negative emotion I'd been suppressing over the past eight days was trying to explode from deep within me.
Without realising it, I have advanced on Kim and only a few steps remain between us.
"Why should I let you do anything?! You. Cheated. On. Me."
"I know! But what about you, Jared?"
Confusion sweeps over me and I stare at her with a puzzled look on my face. Her cheeks have turned red from shouting and there's a glint of anger in her eyes.
"What the hell do you mean?"
"What do I mean? I mean Ellie! Yes, I cheated on you and yes, I'm sorry. But, you, Jay, I've watched you pine after Ellie for years!"
"You were my imprint!"
"But you still wanted her!
Suddenly, I feel like the past four years have been a jigsaw puzzle and the pieces have finally fallen into place. Kim's constant nervousness when around Ellie, the way she would always shy away from conversations that involved the girl, her uncalled dislike for Ellie. At last, it was all making perfect sense. Kim hadn't been afraid of my wolf, like I had though. She was afraid of Ellie. She had been scared that, despite her being my imprint, I wanted Ellie more.
A heavy sigh escaped my mouth and I run my hands through my hair. It's no excuse for her being unfaithful but now that I understood her fears, I couldn't entirely dismiss them. I realise quickly that I am just as much to blame for her infidelity as she is. It was true that I had always felt a connection to Ellie and with recent events, I wouldn't be able to deny my affections for her.
"Kim… I loved you. I thought we were happy and then-"
"We were happy."
In seconds, Kim is in front of me and her hands are on my cheeks. Her palms feel cool against the heat of my face and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to keep from staring at her. I don't want to look at her.
"I am so, so sorry for cheating on you. It's the biggest mistake of my life and I swear to God, if you ever take me back, it will never ever happen again. I got so caught up in jealously and I just didn't want to spend the rest of my life competing with her."
I hear her choke back a tear and I squeeze my eyes shut even tighter.
"Just… please, Jared. Forgive me."
"It's not that simple. Even if I could forgive you, you attacked Ellie."
"I'll do anything to make this right. I'll apologise to Ellie. I'll apologise to everyone. Please, give me another chance. I love you."
The sound of Billy moving around inside of the kitchen reminds me of where I am and I breathe deeply before opening my eyes. With a gentleness, I remove Kim's hands from my face and see the crestfallen look on her face.
"I don't know right now. Give me some time to think about it, Kim."
"Okay."
With that, Kim leaves. I don't even watch her walk away from Billy's house. I collapse with a loud thump on Billy's sofa. A minute later, the man himself enters.
"Jared, son, I know that you're hurt but take it from me, people make mistakes and sometimes they truly are sorry. I've made my own share of mistakes. I've hurt people I cared about and my actions have had far more permanent consequences. I never faced up to the mistakes I made. Kim is trying. At least give her a chance."
"It's not that simple anymore. How am I supposed to ignore the fact that I've imprinted on Ellie?"
"I never said it would be easy. It won't be, but give Kim another chance and let Ellie and Paul deal with their own situation."
Shutting my eyes once more, I lean my head against the back of the sofa and contemplate my choices. Kim had betrayed me but if I gave her another chance, I might just be able to win back my best-friends.
"Sam."
Emily's voice called out to Sam the very second he entered their home. It took only seconds for her to reach him and he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. Sam pulled Emily as close to him as he could and felt himself become calmer as he breathed in her sweet scent.
"Is Paul okay?"
"I don't know. He wouldn't listen to me."
"What are we going to do?
Frowning, Sam pulled himself away from Emily and felt her follow him into the kitchen, where he reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of his favourite beer.
"I honestly don't know. He's so stubborn."
"Just like Ellie."
"That's the problem." said Sam, taking a swig of the beer and swallowing it. "Paul is so scared of losing Ellie that he's pushing her away and refuses to stop. Ellie… well, Ellie just keeps trying to get him to face up to everything."
"Sam, we need to sort this. Things can't go on like this anymore. Everyone is suffering."
"I can't fix it. I don't know how to."
In just a few gulps, Sam completely finished the beer. He felt just as dejected as he did before getting home.
"I'll think of something." he stated, taking Emily in his arms again. "I just hope Paul doesn't do something stupid in the meantime."
Paul's POV
Pulling on a spare denim cut offs, a black, fitted t-shirt and a pair of black pumps that The Pack regularly stashed around the forest and borders of LaPush, I made sure that the coast was clear before leaving the forest. I had ran for miles and miles after leaving Sam and before I knew it, I had reached Port Angeles.
It was well after midnight and the city was thriving with people. Alcohol. That's what I needed and it was what I was in search of. Anything to make the pain go anyway. I knew that Sam was right in a way, but how could I risk ruining Ellie's life or hurting her? I was so blinded by love before, but the whole situation with Jared had opened my eyes to it. I was no good and had no business in trying to have a stable relationship.
Pushing my way through the crowds of people, I ignored the shouts of anger directed my way as I thoughtlessly banged into people and pushed them out of the way. In no time at all, I see a bar come into sight. I do not care what it's like. Just so long as it stocks enough alcohol to numb my pain and the whining of my wolf.