A/N- for those of you who want to know what happens with Cho Chang and her first Potions class, you'll have to wait and see. I apologize for making it sound as if Lucius is sex on legs but what to do, I had to pick someone and look at the bright side; it wasn't Umbridge.

Having a real bad time with my project and my personal life. I swear writing this is the only thing that's keeping me sane. I'm sorry if it's rather depressing in certain sense but my mood is reflected in my writing. I've also developed an interest in X-men slash. Don't know why. Must be the new movie.(This is not going to be a crossover…never fear.)

Chapter 11: Lessons with Snape.

Harry shot out of the fireplace, tripped over his shoelaces and fell flat on his face, hitting his chin rather painfully on the ground. "Damn," he swore, sitting up and rubbing his face. "Oh, shit," he added, when he realized that his glasses had also cracked. Maybe, he should take up on Hermione's advice and buy himself a pair with plastic lenses.

He stood up, brushed himself off and repaired his glasses before looking around. Grimmauld Place was strangely quiet, none of the candles were lit and there was a layer of dust on everything in sight. It was dark, not that it was ever i not /i dark in a house that radiated so much hate but for some reason, it felt more abandoned than ever. He was starting to feel sorry for Snape for spending time in such a depressing house, despite himself.

"P…Professor Snape," Harry called a little hesitantly. "Hello, anyone home?" He listened for an answer for several seconds then made his way to the kitchen, cursing under his breath when he bruised his shin against a low stool. The faint 'Lumos' which made the tip of his wand glow was insufficient to drive away the stifling darkness of the house. The kitchen was also dark but bore signs of recent occupation. There were leftovers from a hastily eaten meal and unwashed dishes in the sink. He smiled to himself at the thought of Snape being slovenly. Unsure as what to do, Harry took out his wand and lit a couple of candles. Then he started on the dishes, years of practice making it easier for him to step into the role of a kitchen cleaner. Halfway through, he paused his task to put on the kettle wondering why he was doing such a thing. He was practically domesticated, as if he was a house wife waiting for his husband to come back from work. Harry thought over what he had just imagined and shuddered. He'd just referred to Snape, even if it was in a strictly imaginary sense, as his husband. He was no longer anxious, he was losing his mind.

He hurriedly turned his attention matters at hand before he started to chew the furniture out of shear nervousness. He was worried about the upcoming lesson and doing something with his hands gave him time to think and it was almost calming. After all, washing dishes was something he exalted in unlike Occlumency.

Once finished, he looked at the time, surprised to see only half an hour had passed since he'd arrived and settled down to wait, reluctant to go back to school but also unwilling to stay. The house was full of barely audible sounds; of soft footsteps and whispers. There was a faint draft that made the candles flutter though he was sure the windows were firmly closed. The house had a life of its own, not truly evil but not something to be comfortable with, either. However, he was strangely attached to the house; it was all that was left of Sirius and he had good memories of laughter as well as bad ones of blood and pain. It had been on the very same kitchen table that Draco had lost his baby. The same kitchen where he'd shared a Christmas meal with Sirius, laughing with the Weasleys. And Harry did not even want to go up to the bedroom incase it brought up more memories.

"Potter, you are here," said the familiar voice and Harry jumped, startled out of his musing. "Good," said Snape taking off his traveling cloak, underneath which he wore a similar black robe. "You've made yourself useful for a change. Make some tea while you are at it, boy." Harry noted that Snape did not make any reference about letting people sneak up on him from behind.

"Where were you?" Harry asked, getting up to make the tea. He did not put much weight in his question, knowing from experience that inquiring about things from Snape would only get him so far.

"Questioning Bellatrix Lestrange, if you must know," Snape told him evenly as he sat on one of the vacant kitchen chairs. "She, at least, is in our custody."

"Have you gotten anything out of her, yet?" Harry asked once he'd overcome his surprise that his query had been answered, without any insults or sneering. Snape was actually been civil to him.

"Nothing, really," said Snape shortly as he accepted the cup of tea offered. Harry served it plain black, thinking that Snape couldn't possibly drink anything sweetened or diluted. "There seems to be massive Memory Block in her, almost as if someone had modified her memories."

"Has that kind of thing even be done?" Harry answered, curious. "Voldemort doesn't seem the type to Obliviate people when he can very well kill them."

"True," Snape said pensively and Harry realized that the Potions Master was thinking aloud and he had been in the right place at the right time. "It's just that the Memory Blocks feel older…almost as if…" Snape drained the cup in one big, scalding gulp and stood up. "Enough wasting time, Potter, we have work to do."

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The lesson took place in the empty drawing room, with the two of them facing each other. Harry wondered whether he should apologize first before they started or whether he should pretend that him peeping into Snape's Pensive never happened. However, he decided to make a clean breast of things instead of letting it hang in the air between them like a third person on a date.

"I'm sorry," he started. "I looked in to your Pensieve that day…"

"Potter, tell me you didn't wait two years before you apologized to me," Snape drawled.

"Actually," he said flushing a little. i Had it been so long. /i "I meant to do that…"

"Yes, yes," said Snape impatiently. "I don't have time for your half-felt platitudes. I'm only doing this because Re…Lupin asked me to. Shall we start instead of wasting more time?"

Harry bit back a reply that he had not been the one who was late for the appointment. Instead, he took a dueling stance and took out his wand. i All he had to do was clear his mind and… /i

"Legilimens," shouted Snape and Harry found himself drifting off. He could feel tendrils of ideas forming in his head and someone trying to pry into his thought. The probing, not unlike a dream in which he had no control when…

He took a step back, tripped over a chair, which broke the mental contact and sat up. "I wasn't rea…" he protested.

"Next time someone uses that spell on you, I'm sure they'll give you prior notice," Snape sneered at him.

"I was hoping for something written in triplicate," Harry snapped back, rubbing his sore bottom.

"Potter," Snape said derisively. "I'm a very busy man and I do not have to put up with your sniveling. Now get off the floor and…"

"Legilimens!" shouted Harry from the floor pointing his wand at Snape who flicked his wand in a silent chopping motion. Harry actually felt the spell hit a barrier and fly off in another direction.

"If you think you can catch me off guard that easily," Snape said with contempt. "You obviously have no talent whatsoever and why everyone even thinks you do is beyond me."

Harry did not even bother to reply, picking himself up from the floor, recalling the incident last year when he had run after Snape with every intention of catching him, only, every spell he had thrown at him had been deflected. Snape was obviously a very talented Wizard who knew his spells. But Harry was determined to master this skill so that he would be allowed to attend the Order meetings. He brushed off his school robes which were covered with dust and stood poised, again. "I'm ready," he said, refusing to rise to the bait.

"Well then…" said Snape, his gaze focused elsewhere which meant Harry was totally unprepared when the spell hit him, silently.

Suddenly, he was back in the Headmistress' office, arguing with McGonagall over Lucius Malfoy coming as his special tutor and the next moment he was in the hall way, opening the complex snaps that held Draco's robe together….

He came to himself, his head pounding, the room turning in a slow circle, to find Snape clutching his wrist with a grimace on his face. "You seem to be able burn wrists, if nothing else," he said, pointing the wand at himself and casting a Healing Spell. "Potter, has the date for your extra defense classes been decided yet?"

"No," Harry said, reaching, discreetly for the back of a chair so he would remain standing. Then he realized that, given a choice between Lucius Malfoy and Snape as tutor he would choose Snape, no matter what. "But…is there any other way…he is…I mean apart from Lucius Malfoy," Harry stammered, fighting vertigo.

"It's not their choice of tutor I'm worried about," Snape said flexing his wrist. "It's their choice of people to watch over him. The Order, Voldemort and everyone else, constantly underestimated Lucius Malfoy. If you can gain some knowledge from Lucius, it would be most useful. After all, that man knows more about Dark Arts than I do." Snape made it sound quite an honor.

"He was stupid enough to get thrown in prison," Harry mumbled, not too pleased to hear Lucius being praised.

"Also clever enough to get out," Snape pointed out.

"So was Sirius," Harry snapped back, recklessly. "And there were Dementors guarding him."

"After rotting away in a dingy cell for twelve year, I'm sure they must have lost interest in him," Snape said with a malicious smile. "It's not as if Black…" he frowned as he said it and then, abruptly his entire countenance changed.

Harry, who had been on the verge of hexing Snape, Remus' feelings be damned, paused as the eyes became a little out of focus as he thought of something. Snape suddenly gave himself a shake and focused on Harry blankly as if unsure as to why he was standing there.

"Interesting," Snape said with a frown. "Why didn't I think of that before?"

"Can we just get on with this?" Harry asked, impatiently. He had a long essay waiting to be written and he still hadn't approached McGonagall regarding the Sword of Gryffindor. He was sure that it was somewhere in the office and perhaps he should ask the Sorting Hat, only he was reluctant to do anything about it in the presence of anyone. Why, he could not rightly explain, but to him, the quest of the Horcuxes was his alone and no one should interfere.

"Very well, Potter," said Snape his usual spiteful tone and they started, again.

----- -------

"Is Lucius an Leglimens?" Harry asked after another unsuccessful attempt to block Snape. His worst memory, his unsuccessful attempt to have sex with Ginny Weasley had been riffled through quite painfully and he was fighting a blush that made him feel as if he was on fire.

He was, however, grateful that Snape had yet to come across his run-in with Lucius Malfoy at the Night Club. He was mortified; not because Lucius had captured him but because his body had responded to Lucius the same way it did to Draco. It confused him, made him ashamed of himself and that in turn made him wonder if he had been unfaithful to Draco. But perhaps, Draco had liked the advances made by his father…

He sighed, his head ached, his back ached his …entire body one big throbbing wound. "I can't do this," he said finally. "I'm too confused and it's too late to do anything."

"How like a Potter to admit defeat before actually being beaten," Snape said after a long silence, as if he had been thinking of something and had just now surfaced to throw a suitable insult at the boy. "As for your question, no, as far as I know, Lucius is not an Occlumens but, then again, he was my senior at school, not my lover."

Harry wondered what had prompted Snape to say the last three words. He almost overlooked Snape's lie about his father in his surprise. It was almost as if he was denying something. Perhaps, Lucius had that effect on everyone; making them question their sexuality.

"But he knows how to manipulate people," Harry guessed wiping his upper lip that had become coated with sweat. "Is he gay?" he asked on an impulse.

"Gay, Potter?" said Snape with a snarl. "That is so…Muggle a word. You'll have to look up several books on pureblood rules and etiquette when you go back. Or you could ask Miss. Granger to since you probably have no idea where the library is."

"Is he?" Harry asked. "I didn't ask about Lucius as a pureblood, but as a person." He wondered if that made any more sense.

"Lucius was one of those people who believed that everyone had a price," Snape said, reluctantly. "Be it money, influence, power or torture, in the end he is able to convince a person to do what he wants them to do. I don't think he's a true Occlumens, more like he has empathy. He understands what people want and twists it for them. If sex was their price, then he would give it to them, male or female, but as to whether he has any preferences…I don't know."

Somehow it made more sense to Harry though Snape hadn't answered his question directly. "You mean, the way he manipulated Draco into agreeing with him," he said.

"The way he had Fudge wrapped around his little finger, the way he was on the Hogwarts school board despite Dumbledore's reluctance or how he had finally managed to put himself in a position to be in close contact with both you and his son." Snape adjusted his robe and sat back.

And they seemed to be spending a whole lot of time talking about the arrogant pureblood, Harry thought with disgust. He had a feeling, had Lucius been dead, they would still be talking about him.

"Well then, Potter," said Snape as he brought his wand up and Harry realized that he was just too tired to fight him, should Snape enter his mind. It was as if his entire mind was crumbling under pressure and he was sure that he did not have the necessary strength to push Snape out should he invade. He was more inclined to lie back and relax than struggle against the pressure of someone rifling through his worst memories. He had to bring an end to it.

He brought up his wand and shouted, "Legilimens!" just as Snape turned. All of a sudden he was caught in a web of emotions, none of which was his. He was floating in a grayish mushy area which surprised him at first. He was in Snape's memories so shouldn't he see something. Then he realized what had happened; Snape had already emptied most of his memories in to a Pensive, probably before he went to visit Bellatrix. He thought it most unfair that he had to suppress his memories while Snape did not have anything to suppress. But the man couldn't have emptied all his recollections; a lifetime's worth of reminiscences. And even as he thought that, Harry felt himself plunging deeper into the mind.

He was presented with flashes of thoughts, random, almost jerky images. He was being pushed against a wall by an angry Lupin, those usually mild eyes, flashing with anger. Harry felt Snape's surprise and fear at the moment, the feeling of helplessness as the smaller man effectively kept him immobile. i Was the werewolf this strong. /i . Remus looked younger, his hair wasn't gray speckled and his clothes looked newer. "It's not Sirius who has a problem with us," Remus snarled, as the wolf inside shone through his eyes. "You are as annoying as he is. Don't you think it's time you ease off?"

Next, he was in the dungeons, looking at a boiling cauldron with growing frustration. It was definitely not what he had wanted it to be. i So, Snape did make mistakes with potions, /i Harry thought gleefully, then realized, i of course he must have. It was not like he started out perfect. /i

Then, he was thrust into a holding cell; white steel-like walls and the bare floor, with the huddling form of Bellatrix Lestrange in a corner. Of course, the most recent memories of the questioning, since Snape had not yet had the time to empty those. She was, Harry noted with faint distaste, still strangely beautiful and her eyes sparkled with malevolent intelligence. There was something unsettling about the craziness that shone in her eyes, which contrasted sharply with the good looks a bath and a change of clothes had brought out. Her long black hair was tangle-free, straight and shiny, like Sirius' had been and her eyes were the same blue-at-the-bottom-of-the-sea gray, like Sirius' and…the hate in her eyes as she looked at Snape was so like Sirius' and …

"Snivellus," she said in her high pitched voice. "It's just like old times isn't it, you, me, Lucius…all together." i Did that mean they had a threesome? /i Harry thought half surprised and half amused. He was definitely not thinking straight.

Snape made no move to answer. Instead he held out a vial of what Harry assumed was Veritaserum to the female.

"Why," she said, pretending to titter. "For me? Thank you." She emptied the contents in one gulp and looked straight at Snape as if challenging him. "You are sooooo good at throwing things together into a cauldron and coming up with something different. I'm sure you'll make an excellent housewife for that werewolf…."

Suddenly, Harry was lying flat on his back, the metallic taste of blood on his lips, wondering just what Snape was going to do to him for intruding. He lay back for a while, fighting the ever present urge to bring up his hastily eaten dinner and sat up slowly. He did not think any of his bones were broken but he would be sporting a huge bump on the back of his head by the next day.

"Well done, Potter," Snape said and for once his voice wasn't spiteful. "A pathetic attempt which was bolstered by your luck. That's enough for today. We'll continue this tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!" Harry exclaimed.

"As in the day that comes after today," Snape confirmed, dourly.

"But…" protested Harry. "This was meant to be for one day per week."

"I'm not forcing you," Snape told him, turning around. "You can do whatever you want. But you should know that you are going to need to shield your thoughts should you start training with Lucius Malfoy."

Harry looked at his tattered sneakers and knew it was useless to fight against such a logical argument. Lucius had messed with his head in such a short time, and he had no way of fighting it. "Yeah," he said, reluctantly.

"And you should know Scrimgeour isn't getting any better from being poisoned," Snape continued. "Should he be disposed of as Minister of Magic, Fudge will come into power and the moment that happens you will be taken in for questioning."

"By Veritaserum?" Harry asked half-stunned. He knew that had been mentioned before but Snape was not the type to make idle comments and if he said it was going to happen it most likely would.

"And if you perfect the art of hiding your thoughts from probing, then you will also be able to handle yourself when doused with Veritaserum," Snape told him. "There are techniques to stop yourself from spilling your life's secrets when doused with the Truth Serum, and I can…" This was obviously a onetime offer made with great reluctance. "...train you…"

At that moment, Harry found out he could not answer since his world seemed to have crashed down. He sat down heavily on the chair close at hand rested his hands on his knees and supported his head on his palms. Scrimgeour had been poisoned with the same poison he had been lightly injected with. Did it mean that he was also going to die? Or was if different since he got a smaller dose?

"Well, then," he said getting up slowly. He had learned the art of sedated movements after finding out that anything done rapidly, like standing up or turning around, made him off balance. His vertigo was receding and he nodded. "I'd better be going," he said then remembered himself. "Thank you, sir."

Snape accompanied him to the fireplace as if to make sure he did not take the silver candlesticks with him as he departed. As he took a handful of Floo power, Snape spoke to him again. "Did…Draco ask you for money?"

"What?'" said Harry, turning around as the Floo power seeped through his fingers onto the carpet.

"Tsk," said Snape irritated, pulling out his wand and cleaning it away. "Draco sent me a letter a few days back, asking for money."

"Is he…why…." Harry wondered.

"His accounts are frozen by the Ministry and he always had expensive taste," Snape said. "I advised him to turn to you and from your memories, it seemed as if the two of you are getting on well."

"Thank you," said Harry, softly. "For telling me."

"Why are you thanking me for telling you this?" Snape was clearly puzzled by the reply than anything else. "It's not as if I've done you a favor."

"You have," Harry said, deciding that he could postpone his return to his warm bed. "I don't give up on people that easily and …if Draco needs money he probably needs it for a good reason." i Like keeping his new lover entertained, /i a small voice inside his head said. However, after their last kiss, Harry wasn't sure whether Blaise Zabini was Draco's new lover or not. A person did not kiss like that without a single emotion and carry on with another.

"An admirable Gryffindor sentiment," Snape said without sounding caustic. "But perhaps you should find out for what exactly he needs the money before handing it over to him."

Harry nodded silently and did not bother adding that though he was grateful for being informed that Draco needed the money, he was not going to hand it over to him. Snape might think him an idiotic Gryffindor but Harry had thanked him for giving him the information, not for informing him that Draco was in need to money. In a way, no one really knew him and he had decided that perhaps a little misdirection in his part wasn't that bad. Harry was about to reach for another handful of Floo power when he paused. "Does this have anything to do with that girl he is hanging around?"

"Pansy Parkinson," Snape asked with a frown. "I'd have thought Draco might have come to his senses by now and…"

"No," said Harry in frustration, wanting to get away but unable to do so since he was having some form of half-coherent, non-caustic conversation about his ex-boyfriend with his ex-Potions Master. "A first year Hufflepuff called Cybele or something like that. He's always with her…"

"Is he?" said Snape with a frown and continued to look blank though Harry wondered, all of a sudden, whether Lucius had a weakness for young girls. He shook his head. Why was Lucius Malfoy coming up in everything he thought? He was tired, dizzy and all his brain seemed to have switched off. He could feel a headache pounding at the back of his skull and he desperately needed to crawl into bed. He also had an essay to complete and a new strategy to think up for the upcoming Ravenclaw-Gryffindor match.

"I'd better be going," Harry said for courtesy's sake though he could not be sure how Snape could have mistaken his actions for anything other than a desperate need to get away. He reached for the Floo powder for the third time as a feeling of vertigo overcame him. He desperately tried to find his footing and reach his destination as the world dipped unexpectedly. For a moment he struggled to right himself and as in a dream, he could feel the Floo powder holder give way beneath his weight as he hung onto it for balance.

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When Harry opened his eyes, he was lying flat on his back staring at a familiar, (blurred) ceiling. He had a pounding headache, his back ached and he was sure that some stray alley cat had pissed in his mouth. He sat up with a groan and realized that he was back in his bedroom in Grimmauld Place, in the same bed with the moldy-smelling bed-sheets, which felt slimy.

"How long has this been going on?" a voice asked him, almost conversationally and Harry snapped around to see who had spoken. His vision swam and his eyes teared as he tried to focus at the figure sitting on the opposite bed.

"A ...few days," Harry answered, not at all surprised that his voice sounded shaky. His mouth was dry and swallowing seemed to hurt his throat. He was probably coming down with something on the top of it all. "I don't faint or anything…" he added defiantly, in case he made himself sound like a damsel in distress.

"Could have fooled me," Snape said adjusting his robe and sitting up straighter and Harry realized that the man had been dozing in the opposite bed, waiting for him to wake up.

"I mean," said Harry getting to his feet, swaying a bit and then reaching out to the bedside stand to find his glasses. The floor was cold against his bare feet; had Snape actually removed his tattered shoes? "I just feel dizzy from time to time, no big deal. It's getting less now and I need to get going…" He did need to get going. In the semi-darkness he could not be sure of the time but he was sure he had been out for at least a couple of hours. If he hurried back, he might have enough time to take a cold shower to wake himself up and scribble a hasty Charms essay and then…

"Sit down, Potter," Snape told him in a dry voice. "I'll let you go if you can walk to the door unaided, without staggering. Otherwise, you will sit down and tell me exactly when and what your problem is. Is that understood?"

Harry sat back heavily on his bed, feeling his legs tremble, glad that he no longer had to support his weight. Snape was correct. He was in no shape to get back on his feet, thought he could not imagine why everything had been fine before but not now. Why was it that he had been fine until all this had started? Not, not only did Occlumency make his mind vulnerable to outside attacks from Voldemort, it made him faint allover the place like some pregnant woman.

"I don't have a problem," he said them remembered that Ron would most likely be worried that he hadn't returned. i He'd think Snape killed me and buried my body in the cellar, /i he thought with a faint grin. "I have to let the others know…"

"Already done, Potter," Snape said disdainfully. "I informed your Head of House that you will be unable to attend classes…" he looked around a bit "… today and I'm sure your…" here the sneer was obvious i " friends /i will be informed of your predicament."

"Oh," Harry said adjusting his glasses, a nervous gesture which made little difference since the room was gloomy. Since Snape had mentioned that the day was over, it must be after midnight. He had been unconscious for over three hours.

"Tell me," said Snape firmly. "How long have you been feeling this way?"

"It's better now," Harry told him.

"Harry," said another voice and Harry froze. Another figure had appeared at the doorway, silently.

"Remus," he greeted, feeling lightheaded. "What are you…?"

"Came as soon as I got someone to take over my work," he said walking towards him. "I was worried when Sev told me you fainted."

i Sev /i , Harry thought with a smile. "I…fell," he said weakly. It was not like him to call for undue attention. Remus, though, was not comforted by Harry's weak protests and after lighting a couple of candles in the dark room, he proceeded to examine Harry minutely, asking him questions while touching him from time to time as if to reassure himself that Harry was all right. Snape had left the room during the examination to refer a few books, leaving them alone and Harry was touched by Remus' attention.

There was something nice about having someone fret over him; though he was seventeen year old, and therefore, an adult. He hadn't had anyone really fuss over him when he was hurt. Hermione and Ron, in some ways, were getting used to him ending up under Madam Pomfrey's care regularly and Mrs. Weasley hadn't visited him in a while. He leaned against Remus' shoulder and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of a warm body next to him. It made him feel safe and comforted. Remus' hand rested lightly on his shoulder holding him steady and Harry wondered whether this was what it felt like to have a father to worry over him.

"Basilisk venom," Snape announced loudly, walking into the room and Harry jumped a foot, startled out of his half-doze state. Remus tightened his hand around Harry and did not react.

"What about it?" Remus asked in a low voice and Harry relaxed against Remus again.

"Found out why he's not responding to the Potion I gave him. He's already had stronger venom injected into him and seems to have built up some resistance to normal anti-venom compounds." Snape looked triumphant and Harry looked at Remus from under his lowered eye lashes, to see the werewolf regard his lover with a mixture of pride and exasperation.

"You can do it?" Remus asked for confirmation. "Stop Harry from passing out the moment he's stressed."

"I don't keel over when I'm stressed," Harry protested.

"Yes you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes."

"Potter, you fainted after an Occlumency lesson."

"I missed dinner," Harry lied desperately. "I'm fine."

"You most certainly are not."

"Children," warned Lupin and they both stopped looking slightly embarrassed.

"Sorry," Harry said surprised to find himself smiling. It was amazing just how different Snape acted around Lupin. It was as if he were a different person. "Just tell me what's wrong with me and I'll…"

"You are still suffering from the effects of the poison," Lupin told him, gently. "You need a bit of rest with the proper medication. I was thinking that it would be better if you stayed for a couple of days while Snape treats you and you can practice your Occlumency that way."

"But," protested Harry, feeling frustrated. "What about…my homework…Quidditch practices and…" In truth, the last thing he wanted to do was spend time with Snape.

"Just for a day or two," Lupin told him.

"I don't want to," Harry protested, trying to stand up again.

"I'll make a deal with you," Lupin told him and Harry sat down again. He heard Snape make a sound which spoke of his disapproval at the turn of events.

"What deal?" he asked curious.

"You stay here until Friday afternoon and let Sev dose you with his potions and you can attend the Quidditch practices. You will not be doing any flying but you can shout instructions. I'll have Hermione write notes for you as well and you can do your homework from here. It's only for one and a half days or so. And you continue to practice your Occlumency. There is an Order meeting next week…a sort of discussion on how to arrange your training with Lucius Malfoy and I'll make sure you attend it if Se…Professor Snape vouches for you."

It was the promise of the Order meeting that convinced him to stay.

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"I'm not doing too great with this Occlumency," Harry told Lupin after Snape disappeared mumbling about having left a cauldron on the fire. "I just can't empty my mind and…"

"I don't think anyone can empty their minds," Lupin said with a faint smile, sitting comfortably on the bed next to Harry, his robe open a little in the front. "The trick is to concentrate on something strongly so that none of your thoughts surface. Think of an object …say a flower and let the image build up in your mind. Then hold on to it no matter what. It usually works better than trying to think of nothing. Thinking about nothing is also thinking so it doesn't really work."

"I'll try that," Harry said, feeling incredibly relaxed. He had not realized just how stressed he had become at school, with Malfoy and his friends' indifference to his failing love life and trying to keep Ginny at bay…

"Then you'll have to focus on bringing innocuous thoughts to the top so anyone probing will only see those," Lupin said. "You can't let everyone think you are so simple minded that the only thing you can think of is about a flower."

"I'll try," Harry said with less enthusiasm. "Just…" he knew it was a terrible time to ask but he had to know "…where Sirius and you…lovers…?"

"No," said Remus looking startled. "What made you say that?"

"Just...people…even Hermione…"

"Not everyone is gay at Hogwarts, you know," Lupin said dryly. "Your godfather was one of those who had an active sex life but we were best friends…"

"Oh," said Harry feeling stupid. "Just that you know…Snape hates him and I thought…"

"I don't know if this would help you or not, but I did like Snape for a long time," Lupin said, not sounding angry at all. "Somewhere around my third year I think. Sirius realized that and he tried to stop me. Not…in a bad way you see…but then, even Muggles were against homosexuals and he, being a pureblood was appalled. Snape was no better, coming from a house where pureblood superiority was a key factor and him being a half-blood with an unknown Muggle for a father. Slytherins learn about politics before they can cast a simple Levitation Charm. And declaring you have feelings for a Gryffindor, a half-blood boy on the top of it all would have meant the end of everything for Snape. He was fighting to be accepted in his house and did not have the courage to act on his feelings towards me but he did follow me around when he thought no one was looking…"

"And then Sirius let him get close to you when you transformed," Harry guessed.

"He wanted to drive Snape away because he thought it was the best for both of us," Lupin said. "He thought that if he saw me as a werewolf it would repel him and he didn't know just how much I liked Snape back then. I was a coward as well, letting your father and Sirius make fun of him while keeping in the background, too scared to open my mouth because that would have meant…Look, Sev, wasn't the easiest person to get along with and if I'd told him how I felt, back then, he would have used it against me, despite what he felt for me.…I…I'm not angry at Sirius for doing what he thought was best, but I do wish he had been less impulsive, at times."

"Oh," said Harry wishing he'd never brought up the topic. "But I guess, everything turned out to be alright in the end," he added lamely.

"There's another thing," Lupin said and stopped, looking uncomfortable. He blushed slightly and tried to wriggle into a more comfortable position.

"What?" asked Harry, curious.

"It's about me and Sev," Remus said. "The thing is …we sharearoom…and Idropinhere … after work… hope you don't mind."

Harry was silent for a few seconds then suddenly started to laugh his. "You mean you are sleeping with Snape and…oh...God…" he said turning red as it sank in "…I can't believe it…"

"You don't mind, do you?" Remus said, still red and Harry wondered whether his parents, had they not died, would have had similar expressions on their faces when telling Harry that they were expecting another baby. It was mixture of needing approval and a dose of embarrassment which said, i 'I should be acting like an adult but I'm your parent so I really shouldn't care what you think but I do…have a sex life' /i

Harry was touched that Remus had actually bothered to tell him that he and Snape were having a (eeew) sexual relationship. Maybe, this wasn't as bad as it started out to be.

"You do know how to cast a Silencing Charm, don't you?" Harry teased the man.

There was the sound of someone coughing slightly and Harry looked up to see Snape standing at the doorway, holding a vial of potion, looking mortified that his lover was discussing their sex life with his student.

Harry grinned. Maybe this was going to turn out alright.

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A/N- the technique Lupin tells Harry about to empty his mind is a meditation trick. I've simplified it a bit but hopefully you understand what I'm trying to get through.

I haven't written the next chapter yet so you have a choice. Which do you want…Potions with Cho or Animagus Lesson…with Umbridge. :) Vote.

p.s are there any sites on the net where I can download x-men cartoons. You know from the series…not porn or anything. Just the stuff they used to show on t.v.