A/N: Welcome! I want to thank: MissMisc3, Bryan Cranston, Katharine, xBelekinax, XantheXV, Makrciana, TinkerbellxO, deppfan11 and dionne dance. Thank you all for the support.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Libertine.
Chapter 11
'Love meant jumping off a cliff and trusting that a certain person would be there to catch you at the bottom.'
~Jodi Picoult, Second Glance
A few months later…
Elizabeth hadn't expected her mother's chamber to be so dark and stifling when she stepped inside, dressed in her cloak and gloves and ready to go. She paused, her elation deflating at the sight of her mother still in bed, huddled under her covers like a round ball of misery.
"Mother?" she called softly and a muffled groan was her only response. Slipping her gloves into the pocket of her cloak, she stepped further into the room.
"What ever is the matter?" she asked as she came to stand next to her mother's bedside. Leaning down, she gently touched the woman's arm.
Lady Hawley flinched and turned onto her back, "Heavens, child! Do not touch me. It might be contagious." Her mother's eyes appeared from underneath the covers and Elizabeth felt her heart dropping to her stomach.
"What is wrong? Are you sick?"
"It' just a cold…I think. Nevertheless, you mustn't be too close."
"We need to call a physician." Elizabeth started cautiously, dread already filling her being at the realization that their trip would have to be postponed.
"He was already here. He left half an hour ago. Do not fret. A simple running nose and a sore throat, but…" Lady Hawley sighed, "Lizzie, I cannot come with you."
Elizabeth tried not to show her disappointment, "It's alright. I shall write a letter and cancel the visit-…"
"No. No, no, no." Her mother sat up, a handkerchief against her mouth and nose, "You mustn't cancel the trip to Oxfordshire. Don't be silly, Lizzie."
Elizabeth blinked, confusion swimming in her light eyes, "I am sorry? You suggest that I go to Adderbury alone?" she whispered and Lady Hawley nodded her head.
"But…"
"Take Charlotte with you since we planned to stay the entire weekend." Lady Hawley rang the little bell just by her bedside table and Elizabeth tensed up.
"I couldn't possibly go alone…Without a chaperon." The main problem of the matter was that she didn't want to face the Countess on her own.
Oh God…
"Don't be ridiculous, Lizzie. What better chaperon that his lordship's mother? Besides, didn't she write to tell us that he'd be in London?"
Elizabeth lowered her eyes. That was true. Aside from his passionate letters and casual tokens he sent her way, she hadn't seen him for weeks…months…But it felt like years.
"Since his new position as member of the King's bedchamber he hasn't been in his estate much…I wonder why…" Lady Hawley's lip curled and Elizabeth closed her eyes briefly.
"Mother, please. You're speaking as if you do not know how our dear society works." She muttered as she collapsed in a chair nearby.
"Of course, I do, Lizzie. It's easy for him to be with his friend, the King. More wine and courtesans free of charge."
"Mother…"
"I know, I know. Sometimes, I wonder if you're simply blind or-…"
"Mother, please!" Elizabeth fixed her mother with a severe glare, "No need to remind me matters I already know."
"He's been worse after his return they say…More money to spend now."
Her mother continued as if she had not heard her. Sighing, she gently rubbed her temples. She was saved by the maid's approach.
"You called, madam?" Charlotte bowed, her eyes immediately finding Elizabeth's distressed face.
"Yes, make haste and gather a few clothes. You shall be joining my daughter to her visit in Adderbury." Lady Hawley gently blew her nose while Charlotte's eyes widened.
"Is it true?" The maid was ecstatic and Elizabeth couldn't help but smile softly at her enthusiasm.
"Of course, silly creature! Make haste! Now." Lady Hawley rolled her eyes as the maid squealed and disappeared from the chamber in a blur of skirts and aprons.
"What will father say?"
Her mother sighed, "Your father isn't even bothering to come home, Lizzie. I no longer care what he says. I've been managing your betrothal on my own and he will do well to remember it."
Elizabeth swallowed thickly, "It is only because he doesn't approve."
"Nevertheless, he ought to be helpful in arranging the engagement party. Don't you think?"
"I didn't know there was going to be an engagement party…" Elizabeth's eyes grew wide, "The Countess approves?"
"Of course! It was the King's idea." Lady Hawley smiled widely, but Elizabeth felt suddenly sick. Everything seemed to be the King's idea…Everything.
"I see…" Standing up, Elizabeth smoothed down her skirts and looked at her mother, "I will try not to linger so you won't be alone."
"Nonsense." Lady Hawley sat forward, "You must stay and make her house a living hell for all her son put us through! Indulge in everything she offers and make sure to study the estate closely. You need to tell me everything-…"
"I beg your pardon, mother." Elizabeth cut her off, appalled by her mother's suggestion, "You must be forgetting something."
Lady Hawley scowled, "What is that?"
Elizabeth took a step closer, "That I have been there before. For nearly two days. Alone. With the Earl."
Lady Hawley inhaled sharply, "You must be ashamed of mentioning that abomination of an incident! My poor head is already ready to explode…Off with you before you make me more ill." She proceeded to hide under the covers again and Elizabeth suddenly felt elated that she'd be alone.
The Countess did not scare her as much as her mother's rude disposition. Stepping out of the chamber felt exquisite. Taking a deep breath, she proceeded down the hall with rapid footsteps. She shook her head, trying to forget how much her family's response was affecting her and when she stepped into the parlor she nearly collided with an enthusiastic Charlotte.
"Ow!" Elizabeth held her nose as Charlotte nearly dislocated it with her elbow and the maid yelped.
"Terribly sorry, miss." Charlotte exclaimed and Elizabeth shook her head.
"It's alright."
"I am ready! Two sets of aprons will do, madam? Do I look shabby for his Lordship's manor-…"
"Charlotte, you are fine. Let's go." She gently patted Charlotte's arm and lifted the hood of her cloak as they made their way out of the house. The carriage was ready and the driver was waiting for them.
Charlotte quickly put her small chest to the back of the coach and then slipped inside the cabin after Elizabeth, trying to hide her joy.
Elizabeth laughed and patted the girl's hand before she turned her head to fix her eyes outside of the carriage's leather slit.
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"You've arrived earlier than I expected. Dinner is not ready just yet." The Earl's mother looked…odd. She seemed uncomfortable and her sour expression was more prominent than it usually was.
Elizabeth faltered by the door of the manor. Charlotte nearly collided with her back and released an undignified groan that made the Countess look at her severely.
"The maid can pass through the backdoor, Elizabeth. She will be able to find the servants' quarters far more easily that way." Lady Anne turned her back and headed inside, her back stiff and straight as a plank of wood.
Elizabeth tried not to give much thought to the rude words and simply nodded as Charlotte was guided away by a manservant.
Ignoring the stale smell of Adderbury, she stepped inside as the maid closed the door shut behind her. Inhaling sharply, she frowned. The manor smelled differently now that the Countess was inside and the light atmosphere she remembered from her time there was suddenly vanished. The woman surely dominated the large house with her ominous presence.
Swallowing thickly, she followed the Earl's mother to the drawing room. The fire was cackling and there was warmth, but what really troubled her was the way the Countess closed the door shut.
Waving a hand towards the armchairs by the fire, Lady Anne took a seat first. Elizabeth followed her example.
"I apologize if my earlier than expected arrival has been troublesome. There was no rain today and the roads were far easier to pass." She forced a small smile and Lady Anne simply nodded her head, her expression cool and reserved.
What was the matter?
"I trust your family is well, Elizabeth." Lady Anne folded her hands upon her lap, "I see your mother did not decide to join us…"
Elizabeth flushed a bit and cleared her throat, "My mother is sick. Bedridden by a cold. She is sending her regards and hopes that you can forgive her."
Lady Anne cocked a single dark eyebrow, "It doesn't matter, child. To be honest, I am glad you've come alone. That way we can get to discuss of your future responsibilities without any interruptions…I hope."
Elizabeth's stomach twisted into tight knots. "Of course. Thank you for inviting me to stay the entire weekend. Your estate is…lovely."
"Indeed it is. By my care only. If it were up to my son, the place would have been in shambles."
Elizabeth shifted nervously in her seat, "How is the Earl?" she asked softly and Lady Anne's lips formed a thin line.
"He is well."
"I trust that his new responsibilities are keeping him very busy…"
"Indeed. Although, he is prone to sudden appearances that happen during the course of important matters."
Elizabeth frowned a bit, "Is he here?"
The Countess abruptly stood up, "I do believe it is time for me to show you to your room. I suspect you do not need a proper tour, do you? After all, this is not your first time in this house."
Lady Anne's tone was judgmental, Elizabeth could sense it. The older woman's expression was also rather sour, her voice and eyes presenting nothing but curtness. Elizabeth suddenly felt like a pariah. As she nodded her head and stood up, she wondered if the Earl's mother truly wanted her as her daughter-in-law. Of course she did, otherwise she wouldn't have agreed, but…
Elizabeth's skin flushed. Her two thousand pounds a year were too tempting after all; if not for John, then for his mother.
She kept her mouth shut as they climbed a flight of stairs. She paused when she entered the long corridor. She recalled being there before and a fierce flush tainted her cheeks with color. She resumed her walking when Lady Anne turned to look at her.
"This is your bedroom." A heavy oak door was pushed open and she realized that the chamber was right next to the large washroom she had used once.
"Thank you."
"The decoration is a bit old fashioned, but since this will be your private room after your marriage with my son, I insist that you remodel it in any way that you want. The room is yours as from today."
Elizabeth was equally stunned and mortified. Whatever did those words mean? They probably meant that she and John would sleep in separate bedchambers. Choosing to forget about that, she ducked her head and slipped inside the large room. It was beautiful, but it lacked the Earl's presence. His chamber had been so…personal. This room was vacant despite its grandness.
"Thank you." She inclined her head politely.
"I see your belongings for the weekend are here. Feel free to freshen up. Dinner is served in an hour. Then we can enjoy our dinner."
Lady Anne moved to shut the door, "I shall send for your maid immediately."
The door closed with a heavy click and Elizabeth's knees buckled. She fell into a heap of limbs upon the settee by the large bed. Feeling out of breath, she reached up and undid the bow that held her cloak together. It fell off her shoulders and landed around her with a soft swoosh. She kicked her shoes away and let her hands rest on the edge of the settee by her thighs. She felt uncomfortable and terribly embarrassed for some reason. She knew that the Earl's mother wouldn't make her feel at ease or even entirely welcome, but this…She couldn't properly hold a conversation without feeling inadequate or foolish. She felt too young and naïve and she probably was no matter how strongly she believed that she was more mature than other women her age.
Stifling a groan, she fell back into the settee with a sigh of resignation. Her eyes, glassy and misty, settled on the canopy and she bit her lip, already regretting coming into the wolf's nest alone.
Charlotte found her like that when she entered the chamber, but said nothing.
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Later that night…
She tossed and turned upon the bed. She had to admit, the Countess was able to prepare and order an adequate meal. The woman had even tried to make light conversation. Elizabeth wasn't sure why. Maybe her long face and dull eyes had betrayed her nervousness at being evaluated like a mare for breeding. That was exactly how she had felt under Lady Anne's scrutiny. She wanted to leave and go back home. She wanted to stop feeling like she did. She wanted him here and not his mother. She wanted to see him.
Sighing and rolling onto her side, she proceeded to hug one of the many pillows. Pulling it close to her chest, she pushed the covers away and allowed the wind from the open window to cool her calves. Pressing her cheek against the pillow, she blinked drowsily and closed her eyes only to open them a moment later. The sounds of a carriage and the distinctive noise of horses' hooves broke through her newly found grogginess. Curiously, she abandoned the pillow and sat up, her hair falling forward in the process.
A voice and then a few harsh whispers caused her eyes to widen and she had to get out of bed. Moving cautiously, she tiptoed to the window. Her room was dark and so no one would see her as she leaned forward to take a peek.
Curiosity was sated a moment later and it evaporated in a heartbeat when she saw who exited the carriage. Elizabeth took a sharp intake of breath as the Earl appeared in front of the manor's front door. Elizabeth watched with wide eyes as he smirked to himself and took a greedy sip from an almost empty bottle. The clank of his walking stick as it hit the entrance's floor echoed in her ears and she took a step back. That is why Lady Anne had been so stiff and uncomfortable. She was suspicious that her son would appear while she was there. That would ruin her plan to educate her future daughter-in-law in the ways of the Wilmot family.
Pushing away from the window ledge, she ran a hand through her hair. Did he know she was in his house? Did he not? She suspected that it was probably the latter and suddenly she felt as if she had betrayed him. His mother had probably hidden her arrival because she suspected that her son would want to be there. That would ruin her plans.
Feeling disgruntled, she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear and slowly walked over to the closed door. She pushed her ear against it and listened for any sounds. She heard footsteps and she held her breath as they got closer. She knew his chamber was further down the hall, but still. What would stop him from entering the wrong room? His footsteps stopped exactly outside of her door and her eyes widened when there was a sudden clank.
She watched, frozen in horror as the doorknob started to move.
In a flash of movement she came face to face with him and all air left her body at once.
At first, he didn't notice her in the dark, but the light coming from the hall must have alerted him of someone's presence. Before she knew what hit her, she found the tip of his rapier against her pale throat, just above her shoulder.
Gasping, she yelped and tried to jump backwards, but his hand, slightly clammy in his intoxicated state, curled around her wrist and halted any attempts she had for an escape.
His entire body seemed to still as soon as his fingers touched her thin hand and she could see that his eyes narrowed in the darkness.
"It is only me, my Lord." She whispered and he clicked his tongue before he reached back with his foot. Almost blindly, he pushed the door fully open and the light fell on her face, bright and obnoxious. Wincing, she held a hand up and the shoulder of her nightdress dropped a little, exposing the pale skin of her upper arm.
The Earl's eyes roamed her form and then he smirked. He loosened his hold a little bit and stepped closer.
"Is this an illusion?…It surely must be." He murmured. Suddenly the smirk left his face only to be replaced by a snarl, "What are you doing here?" he hissed as he kept the blade against her neck.
Elizabeth sputtered for a response, but she couldn't form a coherent sentence. Finally, she gave up and simply narrowed her eyes before she pulled her hand free from his touch.
"Thank you for your hospitality." She spat and he growled, before he slammed the door shut. He blocked her sideways escape with his rapier again and she swallowed hard at the animosity he was displaying. Was it so unfortunate to see her after so long?
"Answer the question, Elizabeth."
She eyed the blade against her neck and gritted her teeth, "Like that I won't-…"
"Did I say you have a choice?" he murmured and then, "Besides, I think it's the only way to control you."
She froze, "I beg your pardon?"
"Yes, indeed." He brushed the tip of the blade up her neck to her earlobe, "It will be the only way to control your most certain urge to escape from our wedlock." His eyes found hers, "When you'll have enough of me, you'll leave. Or…not." He dug the blade deeper and she was suddenly very nervous. She never knew what to expect from this man. He was…a mystery.
"I-…"
"You won't." he started chuckling and made a catch for her hand again. When he captured her fingers, he snorted.
"You'll feel pity and you won't. For how long can love withstand uncouthness and selfishness? Hmm? Even now." He pulled her closer, "Even now you have doubts. You'd flee for an escape to my mother if I let your hand free, wouldn't you? Am I too much trouble, Lizzie?" he breathed and she gulped as he came dangerously close to her face.
"No." she slowly shook her head, "But it is obvious that seeing me is not first in your list of priorities. Allow me to feel just a little…unwelcome. My Lord." She added and in a flash he dropped the blade to the floor.
"Now you're speaking foolishness."
"Am I?"
"Yes." He hissed
"Then I am sorry for sullying your wittiness with my silly presence." She narrowed her eyes in response and he reared back as if struck.
"Are you trying to wound me?"
"Are you?" she fired back heatedly.
'No…I am merely curious of the reason why no one informed me of your presence in Adderbury."
She frowned, "I…I was under the impression that your mother-…"
She was released quickly and she nearly stumbled.
"Damn you and her! Does it appear like I knew you'd be here?" His eyes flashed and she suddenly felt unwanted again.
"I am sorry." she mumbled, "I can't leave till morning, but-…
She was seized and pushed against a solid chest. His hair tickled her cheeks as he leaned down and kissed her. His breath was hot against her mouth and his lips moist and warm as they engulfed hers. His tongue didn't waste time; it parted her lips at the same time his hand parted her legs. She gasped and he smirked against her mouth, his fingers pushing and pressing against her clothed core with impatience while the velvet of his tongue teased hers.
Placing a hand against his chest, she pushed him back and he retaliated fast. His fingers threaded into her loose curls and he fisted several strands in his hand. He sneered when she winced, but didn't stop. He tugged at her hair until she had to crane her neck backwards in order for the position not to be painful.
Wide eyed and gasping, she stood there immobile as he pulled her to him.
"You really shouldn't have let the door unlocked." He pulled her head to the side so she could look at the door, "See? There's a key in that lock for a purpose." he hissed as his mouth trailed up her cheek, "I can be a proper gentleman when I am sober…to you, but when I am not." He snorted and pushed her roughly towards the bed. He released her and she fell on the mattress with a wince.
She watched with wide eyes, still fogged by the darkness, as he shrugged out of his coat and unbuttoned his waistcoat with dexterous fingers. He didn't seem drunk to her…Looking up into his eyes, she changed her mind. His eyes were glimmering in the dark, a hunger burning in them as he threw the opulent garment on the floor and approached the bed. His knees caused the mattress to dip and she watched as he slid up towards her, his hair falling forward as he leaned down.
"What would my mother say if she knew you here with me?" he murmured and then smirked cruelly, "Oh, she'd probably loathe your wanton stance right now…Look at you, not even a peep of objection." he breathed, his eyes widening, "Have you missed me, my love? Hmm? Is that the reason behind your compliance to my mother's training? Hmm? Did she tell you that you need to be with child before the year is out? Hmm? I can make her wish happen before the marriage…What do you think?" he leaned closer, "Cat ate your tongue, lovely?"
She pressed her hand against his stomach to stop his descent, "You do not scare me. You won't do anything." She whispered and for a moment his expression froze on his face like a mask, like an alien thing.
"Fancy that…Fancy you saying that when all I want to do is break the rules of this house." He slapped her hand away from his stomach and caught it in his, pushing it roughly against the mattress, "I've thought of being inside you." He groaned and leaned down to kiss her.
Elizabeth's nostrils flared at his crude words and in a moment of impulse, she twined her legs around his slim hips and surged upwards. Their teeth clashed as she pushed against his chest and when she managed to roll his lithe form over, he moaned and moved to grab her hips. But she had no mind to continue his overbearing seduction. Tearing her lips from his, she sat back on his stomach, until she was sitting on his lap. His fingers flexed on her hips and he slowly opened his eyes, smirking lazily up at her.
"Are you sure? It will hurt more this way." He mocked and she felt cheap sitting there with him. He made her feel cheap.
Rolling off of him, she collapsed on the bed next to him, eyes wide and lips pursed in disappointment.
"Why is it that you have to hurt me every time you see me?" she whispered and she felt him stiffening up next to her, "I assure you, I find it neither charming nor riveting, I find it disgusting and low that you can insult my intelligence by your undecided nature. If you are not interested in me, why do you continue this façade?" The words tumbled out of her mouth freely, not caring of the consequences. She was tired of feeling ignored and inadequate; whether it was by his mother or by him, she did not care.
"You know that I find it difficult to conform." His response made her falter.
"I am not asking you to."
"Others do."
"I am not like others."
"I do not like it when I am met with ultimatums. Especially when those ultimatums come from my beloved mother."
Elizabeth didn't look at him. She had made him talk. She was satisfied no matter the outcome.
"I do not control how your mother treats you, or what she says to you." She murmured softly.
"Indeed."
"Then why are you angry?"
A sigh. Then fingers on her wrist, trailing down her palm and below.
"Lizzie."
"You cannot call me that. Not yet." She removed her hand from his, but he did not give up. His fingers trailed down her hip to her leg before they stopped to grip her thigh.
"Lizzie." He repeated and she gritted her teeth.
"My Lord…"
"My Lizzie." His clever fingers curled around her thigh, firm against her flesh even through the fabric covering her.
"John." Her voice held a warning, but he rolled onto his side and resumed touching her leg with his other hand.
"Lizzie." He smirked as he studied her irritated face and then leaned closer. His lips found her temple and her heart constricted inside her chest, forming a tight little knot of emotions she had no wish to feel for this man.
"It's your fault. Everything." he murmured, "Mine too, because I can't seem to let you go. I've spent months away from you, being away, and yet no matter how hard I ignored your letters, no matter how long it took me to open them, in the end I always ran to them like a child on Christmas. My replies turned out more passionate because of the wait in between." His thumbs touched her inner thigh, "Did you like them?" His teeth found her earlobe and she squirmed next to him.
"It doesn't matter."
He pulled back, licking his lips as he remained silent. His hand moved, sliding under the fabric of her nightdress until he was touching bare warm flesh.
"I am glad you're here." he said at last, "The manor smelled like you when I entered. Lemons and lavender…My mother doesn't smell like that. She never did. Even when I was a child. I wasn't coddled by her, Lizzie. And now you…"
She turned to look at him. He was smirking.
"Now I have, I need, to take advantage of you." He leaned forward slowly, testing the waters and she let him kiss her for a moment, she allowed him to part her legs so he could slide his sinful fingertips up her inner thigh, she let him part her lips with his tongue.
He gasped into the kiss when his thumb found her warm and moist and he pulled back to look into her eyes.
Her eyes opened and she tried to ignore his touch long enough to speak.
"Is that all you wish? To take advantage?" she murmured and his face grew serious for a flash before he dived for her legs, his hair obscuring his expression as he pushed the skirt of her nightdress away and slid down her body.
"What do you wish?" he breathed as he made quick work of her undergarments and she held her breath.
Swallowing back, she couldn't stop the idiotic words from leaving her mouth.
"I want you to love me."
His hands paused on her knees. Their gazes locked for a fleeting, yet at the same time long moment. She was momentarily staggered by what she saw in his eyes and every muscle in her body melted right into mattress underneath her. Her limbs uncoiled and her nerve endings were suddenly too susceptible to his masterful touch.
Blinking languidly, he turned his head and delivered a kiss to her inner thigh, slowly trailing lips and tongue upwards until her breath hitched and her thighs started quivering. Shocked, nervous and lost, she watched as his mouth drew closer and closer to his target and at first she resisted the action, moving her hips away, bucking under him. His hand fell heavy and warm on her belly and her muscles clenched under its weight.
"Shhh." The murmur was low and husky and she closed her eyes, her hand reaching for purchase on a pillow. Grasping it tightly, she drew it close as his mouth descended upon her, feasting on her and making her head spin. Her skin felt clammy and hot and every morsel of her being was conscious of his presence.
She didn't know how or why, but her fingers found their way into his curly hair and stayed there until everything was over, until she had found the precipice and had fallen over it. Then, his own hand, the one he had touched her with down there, came and stroked her thigh like a master that was petting his startled horse into quietness. The fingers of his free hand untangled hers from his hair and he brought her palm to his lips, kissing it reverently before using it to cup his own cheek. Still caressing her leg, he slid up and came to lie next to her, his eyes soft and misty, his mouth curved upwards in satisfaction.
Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he pulled her to him after turning her to her side. Molding his body against her back, his hardness pressing into her soft curves, he let one hand rest on her head, fingers playing with her locks, breath calm despite the rigidness of him behind her.
Elizabeth held her breath, waiting for something that would prove his selfishness, but nothing came. When the covers came up to her chin, she allowed her body to melt into him. The rising and falling of his chest behind her lulled her to sleep and the thought of anyone, and particularly his mother, finding them in such a precarious position was forgotten. For now.
End of chapter 11
Author's note: Thank you for reading! Much needed development and bonding time…The wedding is coming closer and that's when things will start getting tough…
Comments, please? They feed the muse and keep a locked up Earl (he is in my closet) happy. So, you got any? Let me know what you think.
*Info: Rochester, on March 21, 1666 was appointed Gentleman of the Bedchamber and he had to live with the King a lot…He was given a pension of 1,000 pounds per year and he had private quarters in Whitehall.*
Until next time, lovelies.
Xxx Lina :D