What It's Really About

By

James Doyle

At the invitation of her old high school friend Mary-Margaret, Maddie accompanied her to the banks of the Charles River to watch the Harvard Men's Lightweight Crew row against perennial rival Cornell. Maddie had very little interest in the sport. Neither did Mary-Margaret for that matter, save for her boyfriend being on the crew. Nonetheless, since she'd committed to attending, Maddie tried her best to pay attention to the race, watching the race through a pair of binoculars.

"Which one is Jeremy, again?" asked Maddie.

"Fifth position," answered Mary-Margaret.

"Oh yeah," said Maddie. "He's cute."

"You can't really see him from here," argued Mary-Margaret.

"You're right," admitted Maddie. "But I bet he's cute."

"Oh, he's better than cute," said Mary-Margaret. "Just wait until you meet him."

That occasion came at the end of the race, which Harvard won by less than a boat's length. Maddie's suspicions about the athlete's good looks were confirmed when her friend introduced her to a short but well-built, dark-haired, olive skinned fellow.

"Jeremy," called Mary-Margaret as she ran up to him and kissed him.

"Hey babe," he greeted. "Glad you could make it."

"Are you kidding?" responded Mary-Margaret. "I wouldn't miss it."

"Um, hi," greeted Maddie.

"Oh, gosh, where are my manners?" apologized Mary-Margaret. "Jeremy, this my very good friend Maddie."

"Pleasure to meet you," greeted Jeremy with a smile and a firm handshake.

"The pleasure is all mine," swooned Maddie.

"Hands off, girl," Mary-Margaret admonished half-jokingly. "He's all mine."

"You got that right, babe," agreed Jeremy as he and Mary-Margaret shared another kiss.

"Jeremy," interrupted a voice that with a snooty New England affectation. "Are you coming to the pub with us or not?"

"Yeah, we'll be along in a minute," Jeremy replied annoyedly to his stuck-up blond friend.

"Who's your new friend?" inquired the young man.

"Ashton, this Mary-Margaret's friend Maddie," introduced Jeremy. "Maddie, this is Ashton Middleton, my teammate and my roommate."

"Charmed," greeted Ashton, taking Maddie's hand and kissing it.

"I'm sure," Maddie replied flatly, singularly unimpressed by the aristocrat's phony chivalry.

"Maddie, we we just about to head down to our favorite watering hole for a beer or two," invited Jeremy. "Would you like to join us?"

"Yeah, sure," accepted Maddie. While not keen on spending any more time with Ashton, she did relish the opportunity to spend some rare quality time with Mary-Margaret.

The four of them tried their best to have a conversation in the midst of other people chattering, loud music, and the clack of billiard balls. Nonetheless they managed to share a few laughs and knock a few beers back. Maddie had to admit, while Ashton wasn't her favorite person in the world, he did at least make her laugh. Just then, Jeremy received a text message.

"Oh crap," lamented Jeremy. "It's from my advisor. He wants to see me at eight o'clock tomorrow. Sorry to bail on you guys, but we really need to get going."

"No worries," assured Maddie. "It was really nice to meet you."

"Good to see you," said Mary-Margaret, giving Maddie a hug.

"You too," reciprocated Maddie. "We'll have to do it again sometime."

After a few moments' awkward silence, Maddie sought to make her exit.

"I should probably get going, too," announced Maddie.

"Just one more thing," requested Ashton.

"What is it?"

"I know we've just met, but I find you inexplicably charming," declared Ashton. "If you might allow me to call you, perhaps we could explore this further."

Maddie sighed. "Look, Ashton, I'm flattered," she lied. "I really am. But you're really not my type."

"Oh, I understand that," argued Ashton. "Normally, I wouldn't be interested, either. However, you do well to exemplify your South Boston roots."

"Could you be any more condescending?" Maddie asked indignantly.

"Oh, such pride," gushed Ashton. "I love it! And to be frank, you do have...shall we say...certain other attributes."

"Guess the answer is yes," noted Maddie as she emptied her beer onto his face.

Ashton wiped the suds out of his eyes, and laughed. "This one has spirit!"

That proved to be the last straw, as Maddie bawled her fist and delivered Ashton a blow squarely between the eyes, sending him stumbling backward across the room to crash into a nearby table.

The entire crowd stood in stunned silence for a moment before Maddie got a running start to dive-bomb the young aristocrat. Just as she was about to take off, a couple of bouncers restrained her, and carried her off.

"You're outta here!" declared the bartender.

Later that night, London arrived at the police station and posted Maddie's bail. They rode in silence for a few minutes before London addressed the big white elephant in the proverbial room.

"Why'd you do it?" asked London, out of curiosity rather than disapproval.

"He was hitting on me," Maddie stated matter-of-factly.

"So what?" argued London. "Guys hit on you all the time. You don't break their noses."

"This one was different," countered Maddie. "He acted like I was his to claim, and nothing I said seemed to make him think otherwise."

"Ugh," reviled London. "I've met guys like that. Sad to say, I've even dated a few of 'em. So who was he?"

"Does the name Ashton Middleton mean anything to you?"

"Yeah, I know him," said London. "The guy's a putz. He probably deserved to get laid out."

A few days later, Mary-Margaret came to see Maddie at work just as her shift was ending.

"Hi," Maddie greeted somberly.

"Hi, yourself," greeted Mary-Margaret.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No," stated Mary-Margaret. "You could've handled it more gracefully, but he had it coming."

"I hope I didn't screw anything up between you and Jeremy," said Maddie.

"We'll be fine," assured Mary-Margaret. "Actually, I came to bring you some good news. Ashton is dropping the charges."

"That's great!" exclaimed Maddie.

"Yeah," agreed Mary-Margaret. "Listen, you're under no obligation, but Ashton would really like to talk to you, tonight, down at the boathouse."

"Yeah," answered Maddie. "Well, no offense, but I really don't want to talk to him."

"I know," acknowledged Mary-Margaret. "But I really think you should. Maybe you can make him understand."

Maddie sighed. Knowing her friend was right, she nodded in agreement.

Maddie arrived at the boathouse to find the place dark and deserted. She was ready to conclude that Ashton had bailed on her when she found one of the doors unlocked and slightly ajar. She closed the door behind her, and found Ashton waiting inside.

"Hello, Maddie," greeted Ashton.

"Hi," she replied.

"I hope you understand why I've asked you here," began Ashton.

"Listen," declared Maddie. "If you think we've got some kind of weird belligerent sexual thing going on here, you've really got the wrong idea."

"No," said Ashton. "I wanted to apologize."

"For what?" Maddie asked rhetorically.

"I really do like you," declared Ashton. "But I realize I may have expressed that desire inappropriately. I would like you to give me another chance."

"You just don't get it," interrupted Maddie, shaking her head.

"Get what?" asked Ashton.

"What it's really about," clarified Maddie. "Ashton, you still think you're better than me; that I owe you something."

"That's not true," denied Ashton.

"I'm pretty sure it is," insisted Maddie. "It's true that I want a better life for myself, but that doesn't mean I want yours. And there's nothing wrong with me feeling that way. In order to be the guy for me, you'd have to become a completely different person. I don't see that happening, and I don't think it should."

"Then there's the rub," concluded Ashton. "I'm not sure I know who I really am."

"I think you'd best figure that out," declared Maddie.

Ashton nodded. "Very well, then. I won't insult your intelligence by suggesting that we could be friends, but do you suppose, for the sake of our friends, that we could declare a truce?"

"Yeah, I think we can manage that," agreed Maddie.

"Goodbye, then," declared Ashton with a handshake. "I wish you well."

"You, too," reciprocated Maddie.

The End

Madeline "Maddie" Fitzpatrick, Tipton employee, best friend to London Tipton, and perennial unrequited love interest to Zack Martin, was a regular character in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. She was played by Ashley Tisdale.

Ashton (whose last name I made up), the snooty rich boyfriend of Zack's love-interest-of-the-week Violet Berg, who tried to frame Zack for robbery, appeared in the Suite Life on Deck episode "Kidney of the Sea". His character was an homage Billy Zane's Caledon Hockley from the motion picture Titanic, and was played by Aaron Perilo.