A/N: Howdy! I'm sorry for no update over Christmas/New Year. School and procrastination have been keeping me busy OTL
It was only the other day that I was looking through the reviews I'd gotten on Kitsu's Journal and my regular reviewers have been so supportive, I felt like crying. Thank you so much, guys. Without you guys cheering me on I wouldn't have made it to 11 chapters. Also, though I hate to tell you guys this, I am planning to complete this fanfic by the end of 2012. I have an epic 2-parter planned, although I don't know when it will happen. Probably some time in summer.
However, hopefully, during April next year me and my sister MugiChanx (who has been helping me out so much with Kitsu's Journal when I've been stuck, so THANK YOU, ILY BABY) will be attempting to write a fanfic based on IM Alice, and it will also be a prequel to Kitsu's Journal, although slightly AU due to some of the characters roles and personalities… Anyway, more about that at a later time.
Anyway, without further ado… Happy birthday, Kitsu!
Kitsu's Journal - 2012
They were running out of time. They knew it all too well, and yet what else could they do but stare into each other's eyes and murmur their prayers?
The end of the world was here, as it had been foretold. The buildings of Central Town were crashing around them as the sky was painted an inky colour, streaks of clouds resembling stone-grey paint. The rain began, harsh and pounding against their skin. The two teenagers tied by love gazed at each other's faces, both mirroring the sheer terror etched into their lover's expression. It was the end of their world as they knew it, so it was only natural that the tears were running down their faces.
"I'm going to miss you so much," the girl whispered, normally bouncing candy-pink hair plastered to the sides of her face, matted with dirt and blood. "And I don't regret one second that we spent together…" She pressed her forehead against his own, beginning to cry harder as they knelt in an alleyway. Terrified screams from more of their classmates sounded around them, and yet he just couldn't tear away. He closed his eyes, feeling the wrath of reality take over as his shoulders began to shake, the cuts on his face stinging in the rain, but nowhere near as sore as the feeling of his heart cracking.
He clutched his chest through fistfuls of his shirt, terrified that if he let go pieces of it would fall right into his hands.
"I don't want this to be the end," he spat, gritting his teeth as more tears fell. "I love life far too much for this to be the end…"And then the buildings either side of the two gave away. And that was the last time he saw those cornflower-blue eyes of the one he loved so much.
Hey! So it's 2012 now, which is why I opened with a depressing piece. Yep, I've been writing fiction again! I may have been on a bit of a writer's block before, but no more! From now on I'm determined to open up… A FICTIONPRESS ACOUNT.
So I can put up all my crappy pieces and then throw people off guard when I publish something truly beautiful. Dear journal, what did you think of my beautiful fictional writing? Any guesses at who those two lovebirds were?
…Yeah, they were me and Anna. You know me too well, O Mighty Journal.
The day I've been anticipating has finally arrived… my 17th birthday. I am still lacking facial hair and chest hair, which is a bit of a downer. Fortunately, my eyebrows are finally beginning to grow, which is a little more relieving.
When I asked Anna if she noticed I didn't have eyebrows she pretended to be surprised and said, "…Um, gosh, really? Y-You don't? Wow… I, um, I never, uh, noticed…"
My babe's always trying to make me feel better, bless. Oh, Anna, you really have no idea how much I love you!
Since it's been so long since I've written in you, lowly journal, I'd better keep you up to date with what's been happening since I last left off:
Christmas
For Christmas we (as in, Class B) went to get Chinese food and were planning to eat it in our dorms, but me and Anna snuck out and ate it in Mr Bear's cabin, which I have to say is extremely cosy for this time of year. We also went to pay our respects to Mr Bear's creator, Kaname, at the hospital, awkwardly confessing that it was our date spot. He seemed, if anything, pleased that Mr Bear was actually okay with this and almost seemed to encourage us to use it more. Bet he wouldn't if he knew the kind of make-out sessions we get into while we're in there.
Usually though, Mr Bear's chopping wood outside when we're getting up to our dirty antics. Thank the lord.
I don't even want to imagine what Mr Bear would do to my face if he found us.
Seems me and my darling Anna aren't the only people getting loved-up this time of the year. Koko's got a new girlfriend!
"She's Asami Kobayashi, from the middle school division," he'd explained to me, grinning like a fool. "She's so, so, so, so utterly and extremely pretty! She's like, a total Kissaholic, and she thinks I'm the cutest guy she's ever met! Also, she has a thing for older guys and has really huge knockers - I scored big this time, my man!"
Too bad she doesn't have a brain in her head for wanting to kiss Koko. No offence to Koko, I mean, he's my good buddy and all, but… he's not really easy on the eyes.
Compared to me, anyway. I mean, c'mon. When the two of us walk into a room, we all know which of us the crowd notices first.
Anyway, the Perm Germ wasn't too pleased when she heard about the Kissaholic-Knocker-Girl… in fact, she threw an empty soup can at his head. He now has a huge bruise right in the middle of his forehead.
Oh, I laughed when I saw it. He's still a little miffed at me.
Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day, on the other hand, was spectacular. Me and Anna went to that pizza bar in Central Town, y'know, the one we hooked up in last year, and chowed down. It was pretty nice actually, just sitting there and talking. We were surrounded by a ton of other couples, too, because it was the "Night of Naughties" special where pizzas were half-priced if you came with a date.
The lights were pink-tinted and there were heart-shaped ice-cubes in our drinks. Normally guys hate that, but the pink made me think of Anna, so I was content. Ah, a man's happiness.
I swear I saw Tsubasa and Misaki in there, but when I asked Misaki about it the next day she denied it. And yet, I am still a believer of hardcore TsubasaxMisaki.
The best part about going to the pizza bar was that Mochu was working there as a waiter. You have no idea how funny Mochu looks in a waiter's uniform.
He practically waltzed up to us with his tiny notepad. "Good evening, lovebirds, what can I get for you?"
"An extra large double-cheese and pineapple pizza please!" Anna replied, trying to suppress her giggles. I didn't even attempt to hide it, instead choosing to blatantly laugh in his face.
"What's up with your clothes, dude? Since when did you get a part time job here?"
He shot back, "I needed the money, so shut your face or I won't feed you." Punching the back of my head, he stormed off back into the kitchens. At that point me and Anna began to splutter uncontrollably. My head hit the table during my bout of laughter, resulting in cranium damage on both sides of my head.
It hurt. A lot.
Afterwards, we spent the night of romance in her room, making love very passionately. She's so cute when she blushes, and she has a habit of making muffins straight after sex using the mini oven set up in her room. Ah, vanilla muffins.
2nd of March
Anna's birthday.
Yeah… you guys don't wanna know.
But it's okay and stuff now, because as soon as Luca chased out the monkeys, Tsubasa calmed down the elementary school kids and Mr Bear karate-chopped Narumi so hard he suffered amnesia, everything was back to normal.
Of course, I had to apologise to Anna afterwards and stuff, but geez, it wasn't THAT bad.
And now, my birthday. Hopefully things won't be as rocky as last year.
Koko invited me round to his room last night. AND NO, IT'S NOT GOING TO END IN SOME HEAVY YAOI LOVE SCENE, SO IF YOU WERE THINKING THAT, STOP IT NOW.
(And that means you too, Permy.)
Turns out he bought this new fighting game based off of the Ninja Zombies trilogy, called Ninja Zombies: The Final Stand. Sounds uber-intense, right?
So we were casually playing it, when all of a sudden he paused the game and turned to me. I was on FIRE by that point, so I began screaming, "KOKO, WHAT THE HELL MAN? I WAS ABOUT TO GET THE SPACE MONKEY BONUS THAT WOULD'VE ENABLED MY NINJAS TO GRADE UP TO LEVEL EIGHT AND EARN THEIR METSUBUSHI LAZER NINJUTSU BIKEN!"
He handed me a sweet potato to chew on to calm me down, before saying seriously, "Bro, I need Permy back."
I stared, the piping hot sweet potato falling out of my mouth and landing on my crotch. It hurt, a lot.
"What? What about Kissaholic-Knocker-Girl?" He screwed up his face.
"She's… y'know, sexy and stuff. But she's not Curly. You know what I mean?"
"Sure, she's way too nice to be Permy," I shrugged, picking up my sweet potato and sniffing it. "But I don't get it. Permy nags you, treats you like dirt and isn't even attractive. Why d'you want her back?"
"A little thing called chemistry, my man," Koko tutted, shaking his head. "What with your bond with Anna, I'd have thought you would know what I was talking about."
I sighed, folding my arms. "What do you want me to do about it?" I asked irritably.
"Get her to give me another chance, man," he moaned, rolling around on the carpet. "Pleeeeeaaaaasse?"
Whenever Koko whines, you know you have to do what he wants.
The next day I woke up to an empty bedroom. Still, I tried not to let this get me down. Hey, you never know, they could be waiting until breakfast to give them to me.
Yeah. Yeah, that was it.
However, when I entered the dining hall, nobody looked up. This pissed me off a little, so I very pointedly marched over to my table, consisting of Koko, Anna, Nonoko, Yuu and for some reason, Nendo.
"I'm here, everybody," I announced.
"Oh, hi," Koko said, not even looking up from the slice of toast he was buttering. Deflated, I sat down opposite, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.
I cleared my throat.
"Ahem… anybody know what day it is today?"
Yuu shrugged, before busying himself with pouring milk onto his cereal.
"The fourth of April? Anybody?" I inputted helpfully, waiting for a response.
"…Oh," was all Nendo could say.
"It's my birthday!" I exploded, slamming my fist down on the table. Nonoko blinked.
"Really? Good for you," she said at last, spreading jam on her toast.
…Why does my birthday always seem to suck in one way or another?
After eating a single bowl of cereal I stormed out, making sure to slam the door to let them know that the group's amateur diva was very upset. Storming up to my room, I kicked the door open, seeing red.
It was that very moment that I was stopped in my tracks by a very peculiar sight. The demon perm herself, Sumire Shouda, was sat on my bed, wearing cat ears and a very short skirt.
When she noticed me, she did something even stranger - she jumped out of the window.
Of course, curiosity took control and I jumped after her, using my alice so I didn't get smooshed on the ground. Naturally she landed on all fours like the demon kitty she was, and with a coy grin gave a bow.
"I am the Cheshire Cat. Pleased to meet'cha."
I stared at her. "…You know, if you wore those kind of clothes all of the time, Koko would be even more desperate to get in your pants."
She shrugged. "What can I say? I'm wonderful like that. Now, Kitsu, any idea why you've been brought here?"
Now it was my turn to shrug. "Nopez. Woke up and nobody cared."
She snapped her fingers. "Right. You've wandered right into Wanderland."
"Wanderland?" I cocked a stumpy eyebrow-whisker. "So what am I, like, Kitsu in Wanderland?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
I face palmed.
"So, how do I get out of here?" I asked, shaking my head in disbelief. Her ears twitched.
"Well, I don't know. You know how the story plays out, figure it out yourself." With that, she threw a handful of sand to the ground and it erupted into green flames. When they subsided she was gone.
"What the heck…?" At that moment I was interrupted by a… voice in the sky?
And so Kitsu wandered over to the Queen of Alices, Hotaru Imai, who was awaiting his presence.
"HEY! DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
One moment I was in the courtyard, the next I was in Hotaru Imai's laboratory… which had been decorated with various cards. I should've known she'd be playing the Queen of Hearts.
"'Sup, your Majesty," I said, hands in pockets, as I watched her sat on a throne eating crab brains. She raised a slim finger and pointed it at me.
"Off with his head."
"Hey, that's a bit extreme, don't you think-?"
"No. You didn't bring me a present." Okay, now this was crossing the line.
"But it's my birthday, and did I get a present? NO!"
At that moment Amanatsu, the dumb robot replica of Mikan, twisted my arms behind my back.
"Resistance is futile," she said seriously, and at that point Mr Bear stomped into view, axe raised. He looked like the grim reaper wearing a teddy bear cosplay, the way he was swinging that thing around.
"Shit!" I flipped Amanatsu over my head, sending her crashing into Mr Bear, before swooping out of the window. At that moment, Permy appeared beside me, floating on a ghostly cloud.
"What do you want?" I scowled.
"Just wanted to see how you were doing, is all."
"How I'm doing…? I'm at the end of the story! So what, my timeline's going backwards now, is that it?"
She shrugged, before fading into nothing. Fuming, I landed in a clearing, arms folded.
And so he ran into the Mad Hatter, March Hare and their tea party.
"I said don't tell me what to do, dammit!"
At that moment, a large table appeared beside me, seating an array of unusual guests. The tea party consisted of the Perm Germ, Mikan, and pig heads alike.
And there was only one person I knew who could be the Mad Hatter…
Suspicions confirmed. Koko was sat in between Permy and Mikan, looking like a playboy with his top hat, which kept slipping over his eyes every few seconds.
"YO, KITSU!" I glared at him.
"What, so now you're throwing a party and leaving me out?"
"No way, man, come and sit down. After all, this is a birthday party!" Hold on a sec.
"I thought it was an un-birthday party?" I asked, taking the seat next to Mikan. "Anyway, does this make Mikan the March Hare? The March Hare should be me! I am your trusty partner in crime, after all! Or at least someone a bit less girly, like Mochu!"
"Shut up and drink some tea," he said simply, flexing his gloved fingers menacingly. "Anyway, since it's your birthday today, what would be the point in hosting an un-birthday party?"
"Um… well, you've got a point, I guess…" Unhappily I took a sip of tea, before spitting it out in shock. "This isn't tea! This is lime soda!"
"My bad," Koko grinned. "Lime soda tastes better, you know? Anyway, anybody wanna play some musical chairs?"
Kitsu declined, and left abruptly.
"Who are you, my mother?" Nonetheless, I reluctantly bid my farewell and continued to wander through the forest.
At this point, he ran into the Caterpillar.
"Caterpillar? Great…" Suddenly, a mushroom popped out in front of me, where a very familiar figure was sprawled on. I made a spectacular display of my disgust as the 'Caterpillar' took a long drag from his cigarette.
"Tono? What are you doing here? You graduated years ago!" He shrugged, sitting up straight.
"D'you think I'm back here by choice? This is your Wanderland, after all. Anyway, nice to meet you… again. I'm the Caterpillar. And this mushroom here? One side will make you unable to fly at all, and the other will boost your power. Make a wise choice, my friend."
All of a sudden he sprouted wings and flew away… which left me with a severe headache.
"Mushroom, huh? Gross. I don't even like mushrooms."
"B-But I'm a raspberry mushroom!" it cried out indignantly. "I taste good! Believe me!"
I shrugged. "Ah well… I suppose it can't do too much harm."
So Kitsu ate the left side first.
"So what, I can't even choose that?" Irritably I began to eat the left side, leaving the mushroom cackling.
"Haha! You ate the wrong side! You're doomed to never fly again now!" it laughed. Okay, this is a major downer on my pride.
And… it was right. No matter how much I tried, my feet wouldn't lift so much as a centimetre off of the ground.
So Kitsu thought back to what the Caterpillar had said, and decided that by eating the right side, it would bring back his flying ability.
"You can't amplify something you've lost! Where's the logic in that!"
Shouting at the voice didn't seem to do anything, so angrily I began to eat the right side of the half-mushroom.
"Okay… this time it should work, if what the voice is saying is true…" I took off - and boy, did I take off. I was thrown up into the air, spinning wildly out of control.
"WHAT THE HELL?" I began to spin off into the sky Team Rocket esque, and landed with a thud in… The forest again. Just my luck.
"As if this nightmare wasn't bad enough already…"
As if on cue, the voice in the sky decided to make his presence known again.
As he pondered over whereabouts he had landed, he stumbled across Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee.
"Okay, what lamebrains are going to be playing those two…?"
…Well, lets just say those two 'lamebrains' turned out to be the godly hotness of Misaki Harada and one of her clones.
"Howdy!"
"Howdy, what are you, a cowboy?"
"No, you're a cowboy!"
"Who's the cowboy again?"
"Huh? What were we just talking about?"
"Um… what are you guys doing here…?" I asked, rubbing my temples. Serious headache going on here.
"I am Tweedle Dee!" Misaki struck a pose. "And that copycat over there is Tweedle Dum."
"I thought Tweedle Dee was the copycat," mumbled the clone, threatening tears.
"What did you say?"
"I SAID WHAT I THINK, GOT A PROBLEM?"
Kitsu glanced around desperately for an escape.
"No shit, Sherlock."
At that moment, through a gap in the trees, I spied… a gushing river?
"Oh well… Geronimo!" Taking a deep breath, I did a running jump and belly-flopped into the river, arms flailing around as I blindly attempted to navigate.
As I surfaced, somebody clung onto my arm. Tsubasa Andou?
"No! I'm the Dodo Bird!" he squawked furiously. "We're floating in a river of tears!"
"Well… where'd it come from?" I asked blankly. He face palmed.
"You, from the future… I think…"
And this is why Kitsu shouldn't have messed with the storyline of Alice in Wonderland.
"It wasn't me who screwed it up!"
At that moment, the river suddenly drained away, leaving me and Tsubasa totally soaked."How are we going to get dry?" Tsubasa whined, shivering.
"Hey, don't ask me. Wasn't there a race or something in the book?"
"Yes, yes, a race! What a splendid idea!" Tsubasa clapped his hands together. "We'll run around in circles to get dry!"
"Yeah, because that'll work, won't it?" As he began to run in a way that resembled a dog chasing its own tail, I crept away, sneaking through the bushes.
And then, Kitsu tripped over a basket and fell to the ground.
"Huh?" Too late. A basket popped up out of nowhere, conveniently tripping me. I landed on my butt. And it hurt.
"What the hell?" Glaring over at the offending basket, my anger melted as I saw it was brimming with vanilla muffins. One in particular stood out, with a cute pink label stuck to the top.
As I peeled it off, I noticed the writing on it.
Curiosity killed the cat.
Well, that wasn't disturbing or anything. But whatever. Vanilla muffins are too good to ignore, no matter what the consequences.
As I bit into the muffin, I loud scream came from the sky, and I looked up in time to see a very cute pink-haired girl in a blue dress fall down, landing in my lap. The muffin rolled out of my hand and onto the dirt.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch…" The girl looked up, and my heart skipped a beat. It was none other than my gorgeous girlfriend, Anna Umenomiya. She gasped and stood up.
"Ah! Umm… who are you?"
"I'm Kitsu, and I'm playing the role of the protagonist here," I said, standing up. "I'm assuming you're Alice… right?" She nodded.
"Wait, but if you're Alice, who am I?"
Kitsu was stuck in an identity crisis.
"I wouldn't exactly call it a crisis, you know…"
"By eating that muffin you summoned me," she explained. "From what I have gathered. But still, what for?"
"Um, I didn't realise what it'd do," I shrugged, "but hey, vanilla muffins taste great. You should try one."
"Okay… it's not like I can summon myself, right?" With a cute giggle she helped herself to a muffin, and as she bit into it a loud "MEOW!" erupted from behind me. Almost shitting myself, I turned around to see the demon perm herself standing there, brushing herself off.
"So, I heard you two kids called for me?"
"Well, we were just eating the muffins, so…" Suddenly, Permy's ears twitched and she slapped a hand over her mouth, causing me to taste her fresh manicure.
"There!" She pointed over to where Luca-pyon was fumbling around with a pocket watch. For some reason, he was wearing a bunny-boy cosplay.
He kept mumbling some nonsense about being late, before scurrying off again.
"He's the White Rabbit, right?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. How original.
"That's right! Now hurry up and chase him! Before he gets away!"
Grabbing Anna's hand, I pulled her deep into the forest, following Luca-pyon as he scurried further and further away from us.
We passed Mr Bear's cabin, where he greeted me by almost slicing my head off again. And for some reason, right behind his cabin there was a large black hole.
We were sucked straight into it.
I began to fall. Somewhere in the struggle I had let go of Anna's hand, and I found myself flying past a grand piano, along with various other household items. I think I even got my head bashed by a dishwasher, because as it flew past my eyes began to close. I felt sleepier and sleepier, until I drifted into an uneasy dream.
And then he woke up, and he was home.
I opened my eyes. I was… back in my room again?
Well, thank god for that.
As I glanced around, the first thing I noticed was a basket, full of vanilla muffins cooked specially for me by my darling Anna. Of course, before anything else I rummaged through, checking every muffin for a creepy tag. When I found none, I allowed myself to chow down, at ease at last.
To cut this entry short, everybody wished me happy birthday, they threw me a party, Koko and Permy slow-danced and got back together, and me and Anna sat back and watched them, making out and then returning to her room to have more muffin sex.
The End.
So, that concludes Kitsu's birthday chapter. This parody chapter was really fun to write… I apologise in advance to all of you Natsume, Nonoko and Inchou fans, that they didn't make appearances in Wanderland (which, by the way, I misspelt on purpose, for the funnies). I couldn't really see them fitting in anywhere. If I missed anybody else out, SORRY!
Anyway, happy birthday, Kitz! Also, my friend Rosa (who won't be reading this, but meh) shares a birthday with him, so happy birthday to her too. (:
Anyway! Review! It'll make the perfect birthday present for Kitsu!