Such A Strange Thing Life Is
Chapter Ten
Kalos
()()()
"What do you mean, they're here already?!" Strom Durstrand, explorer extraordinaire, cried into his phone. He was in the television studio at that moment, the official government network that would broadcast his show worldwide, the first Kalosian show to ever be shown to everybody. "Why aren't they spending more time in Unova?"
"I don't know, sir, I'm sorry," a rather meek and feeble voice answered him. "But they're on the plane that's coming in at about noon, and then they'll start hunting right away, I'll bet."
"But…we're not ready to start shooting! We don't even have the cameras ready yet! And I certainly have no idea where Xerneas is! What do I do?"
"I'm sure you'll think of something, sir, you always do."
"Think of something…what is there to think of?" Strom shut his phone and put it in his pocket, panicking as he tried to think of what had to be done.
"I have to hold them off somehow…" he muttered, pacing back and forth throughout the studio, carefully avoiding interns and expensive equipment. "Hm…that's it!"
He pulled his phone back out and quickly ducked into a supply closet to ensure that nobody would hear his sensitive conversation. He dialed in a number that only a few in the world knew, and he was soon answered with a voice that was obviously being manipulated so that nobody would recognize it, unnaturally deep and mechanical.
"What do you want?" the voice demanded, impatient.
"This is Strom Durstrand, I'm in trouble."
"What is the nature of your issue?"
"Look, I was planning to follow that Larch guy so that I could find Xerneas before he does, because he's one of the luckiest people on the planet, and he'll probably find three more legendaries on the way."
"How is this relevant?"
"He's coming into Kalos, today, and we're not even close to filming yet!"
"Do you require a distraction to hold them off?"
"Yes, whatever you can do, just make it quick, and make sure they don't get hurt. I need them all if this is going to work."
"I will do so." The voice hung up immediately afterwards, leaving Strom alone. He took in some deep breaths, and stepped back out of the closet, hoping that whatever happened, it would be enough.
()()()
Many hours later, a large plane carrying five very notable passengers touched down at Lumiose International Airport, just about at noon, as Strom's contact had said. Within minutes, they had departed, having no luggage to carry save for Larch's Carrying Case, and soon found an odd visage in the airport's main lobby. Although there were a handful of foreigners present, likely from earlier flights, many of them seemed to be natives heading for intranational flights, choosing it over driving for hours. The strange part was, the majority of them were fixated on televisions scattered throughout the area.
"That's odd…" Larch said, rubbing his chin.
"You're telling me," Slick agreed, "they're like zombies. Glued to it…"
A sudden burst of laughter from a crowd nearby caught them off guard, and they all turned to see that something funny had seemingly happened in a sitcom of some sort.
"Man, all of this stuff is trash," Jack said, pointing at another TV running daytime news. "Look, they're running a story on some guy's hair style. What's up with this?"
"Well, it is the middle of the day," Larch noted. "Likely, the actual news will not come until later in the evening."
"I don't think these people have the attention span for actual news," Slick suggested.
"Hey, come on, be nice," Anne admonished. "I'm sure things just work a little bit differently here."
"Look, an internet café," Larch said. "Perhaps we can do some research there and figure out what is up."
"Ooh, maybe we can read some tabloids about some bimbo's new hair!" Slick said, earning a slap on the back of the head from Anne.
"Slick, you're being an ass. Let's at least try to make a good impression before things go to hell."
"What makes you so sure things are going to hell?" Ralph asked.
"Well, we're looking for some ancient, super-powerful Pokémon, and we're also us. It's inevitable, let's face it."
"No need to be so cynical, Anne," Larch said. "Say, everybody in the café seems to be watching…something."
Indeed, upon closer inspection, everybody was rapt with attention on old episodes of shows none of them recognized, barely receptive to what was going on around them.
"Okay, now this is just weird," Slick said.
"I agree," Larch said. "Perhaps we might find out what the reason for this is?"
"Hey!" Ralph said, pulling a man out from a nearby crowd. He did not look so much disappointed as confused, as if he barely had any idea where he was. "What's with all this TV stuff?"
"Well, we like TV," he explained, droning. "It creates jobs, you know, and after the slump, it's good to have something to relax with…"
"I see," Larch said. "So the reason for all the—"
"Oh, sweet, that commercial is on!" the man shouted, returning to the crowd as the advertisement for some sort of cosmetic product came on, providing all manner of meaningless scientific words and alluring shots.
"Well, that was rude!" Larch cried. "Extremely rude, dare I say it!"
"Do they even have flights, or are they just here for the TV?" Slick wondered.
"Regardless, I think we should move on," Larch suggested. "This is very strange indeed, and I would like to spend as little time as possible here."
"Okay, let's head out," Slick said. "My things?"
"Ah, yes, of course!" Larch pulled out his case and materialized Slick's duffel bag full of tools, which he readily accepted. He also dissipated the illusion he had been maintaining in a cloud of thick smoke, groaning as the strain went away and he was revealed as a Zoroark. A few of the scattered civilians turned to look, but most stayed in rapt attention to the televisions.
"Ah, good old titanium utility bar," he said, pulling said device out and turning it over once in his claw. "This is gonna save my life, I can just feel it."
"Let us hope it will not come to that," Larch said. "It probably will anyway, but it never hurts. Now, what shall our course of action be?"
"I say we ask around for anything about Xerneas," Ralph suggested. "See what people know and if we can do anything with it."
"If they even know what's going on around them," Jack said. "Come on, let's go ahead and get this over with. Weirdoes…"
They immediately left the airport, Larch giving Ralph and Jack their guns. For a moment, he considered the issue of proper security if anything could truly fit in the Case, but dismissed the thought, assuming some type of scanner would be the standard soon enough. Unknown to him, he was being scanned, by a jet-black armored truck that had just pulled into a blocked-off section of the airport's parking lot, and was now on the move to chase after them.
()()()
Some time later, the group had made a bit of progress, catching wind of a plinth rumored to house Xerneas somewhere nearby, although they had also gotten a large, contradictory list of requirements to actually make her appear. It was a start, at the very least, but they would still need a lot more before they could actually find and record Xerneas. Had they continued there, they would not have gotten much farther, but they did not even get that far.
Larch was questioning a woman in a colossal hat carrying a Furfrou, receiving no new useful information save perhaps the location of a lovely little boutique. He groaned as the woman walked away, leaving them back where they were.
"Well, that was a waste of time," Jack said, rolling his eyes.
"I dunno, Jack, that boutique sounds pretty nice," Slick noted.
"You're in a bowler hat and you're carrying a steel crowbar," Jack countered. "They wouldn't let you in if their lives depended on it."
"First of all, this is a titanium utility bar, and they would totally let me in. You're just too blind to…hey…"
He scratched his head, drawing concern from Anne.
"Slick? What is it?"
"I think we're being watched," he said, quickly turning around to see the jet-black truck pulling in from another street, completely ignored by the passers-by.
"What the hell?" Jack questioned, pulling out his gun. Ralph did so as well, both of them ready to defend themselves if need be.
"Go, go!" somebody from within the truck shouted, prompting several enforcers, armed with very nasty-looking assault rifles and body armor, to exit and begin looking around. Several people ran away in fear, but the five stayed in place.
"Think they're here for us?" Ralph asked.
"I would think it likely," Larch answered.
Larch's hypothesis was correct; one of the enforcers noticed them and pointed them out to the others, and they were immediately surrounded.
"Drop the weapons!" one of them commanded, pointing at the ground. Recognizing the disadvantage they were in, Ralph and Jack gently placed their guns on the ground. Slick also put his bag and utility bar down, leaving all of them disarmed.
"Hey, miss," another commanded, pointing at Anne. "Take off the belt, you're coming with us."
"What?!" Anne cried. "What'd I do?"
"That's irrelevant," he replied, roughly grabbing her wrist. Slick attempted to stop this affront, but received a rifle stock to the abdomen from another enforcer for the trouble. Anne cried out again, voicing a variety of extremely profane insults at them as she was handcuffed and dragged away into the truck.
As the truck pulled away, Slick got back to his feet and attempted to launch a Shadow Ball at it, but it missed and dissipated harmlessly against a wall, leaving only a slight scorch mark.
"God damn it!" he cried, a rare anger readily apparent in his voice. "They took her! Those sons of bitches took her!"
"Shit, what do we do?" Jack asked, retrieving his gun, as did Ralph. "What the hell is she even getting arrested for? We just got here!"
"That's how it works," the lady in the hat from earlier answered, returning to her original rounds along with the other citizens around them. "You can be arrested at any time if you're suspected of crimes against the government. Has she done anything?"
"Look, if anybody's done anything against this country's government, it's me," Ralph explained. "Now, where are they taking her?"
"Well, I wouldn't know that," the lady answered, hastily shuffling away from them, leaving them to ponder what exactly was going on.
"You know," Larch began. "It is quite strange that she was the only one arrested. You would think we would be in trouble for aiding and abetting a supposed criminal."
"You think something's up?" Jack asked.
"Is there ever something not up with us?"
"What do they want with her?" Slick demanded, his anger still present. "Why would they just grab her and take her away in broad daylight like that?"
"It may be a distraction of some sort," Larch theorized. "Perhaps somebody else wants Xerneas, and wishes to hold us up?"
"I'll hold 'em up, by the goddamn neck…" Slick muttered.
"Okay, what do we do now?" Jack wondered. "Appeal the process?"
"I say, we rescue her," Slick suggested.
"Oh, great idea, then we'll all get arrested!"
"You got any better ideas, smart guy?" Slick cried, brandishing his utility bar like a club.
"Enough!" Larch cried. "We are not the enemy! Slick, is it possible for you to detect her."
"Not if she's moving," he explained. "And definitely not if she's that far away…unless…"
"Unless what?"
"Is there a microwave transmitter anywhere near here?"
"Yes, there is likely a television station, given their interest in it…why would you need a microwave transmitter?"
"Wasn't there that article a while back about how extrasensory abilities are based on low-wavelength telekinetic waves?"
"Ah, yes, I recall that!" Larch said. "Birch is a clever fellow, after all…of course! You could piggyback off of it and examine a much wider region!"
"Uh, sure thing," Jack said, not having any idea what either of them were talking about. "One thing, though. How do we get that high up?"
"You distract them, I turn invisible," Slick explained.
"Are we seriously doing this?" Jack asked. "Are we gonna break her out? What if we do get arrested?"
"Then I pretend to be a higher-up and get you all out. Come on, this is a good idea."
"I would not call it that, but if we are to save Anne, this sounds like our best bet."
"Guys, should you really be talking about this in the middle of the street?" Ralph wondered. They looked around quickly, but nobody seemed to care at all, instead hastily moving on to whatever they wanted to do next.
"It does not seem as if they are particularly interested," Larch noted.
"You're just catching onto that now?" Jack wondered.
"Enough talking," Slick interrupted. "We need to hurry if we have any chance of rescuing her."
()()()
Their chances were perhaps greater than Slick could have realized; indeed, Anne had done some research on her travels, and knew how to get out of a poor situation should such a thing have come up, especially after the business in Unova. Though she was handcuffed to a handle within the armored truck and guarded by two of the enforcers, the other two up front, she still believed there was a way out. Luckily for her, there was.
The handcuffs were no real issue at all; the roads were quite poor leading out of the city to the holding location, and with the help of a few bumps to hide the sound of her breaking out of them, she was entirely free, but was careful to make sure it looked like she was still trapped. After doing so, she was unnoticed, though there was still the problem of the guards to take care of. A plan for them soon began to form in her mind, though it would be difficult. Looking at the thick wall separating the driver from the spacious back, she decided it would work. Upon hitting the next bump, she leapt from her position, unhindered by the handcuffs, and took the guard closest to her by surprise, delivering a brutal elbow to the uncovered part of his neck and grabbing his gun before he collapsed to the floor.
"What the—" the other said, holding his gun to Anne in a standoff.
"Come on, drop it," Anne demanded.
"You have no idea how to use that thing," the enforcer pointed out. Anne did have to admit the fineries of its operation were unknown to her, but at the same time, she recognized it was probably ready to fire anyway, and all she had to do was pull the trigger. She glanced to make sure the safety was off, which it was, and continued her demands regardless.
"Put the gun down and let me go," she demanded. "I'm fairly certain this arrest is highly illegal."
"I'm fairly certain threatening an officer of the law is even more illegal. Put the gun down and we'll ignore it."
"Bullshit."
"Look, lady, don't try to push me. You're a threat to the nation's security and I am authorized to shoot you if necessary."
"Then why haven't you?"
"Because…I was told not to."
"Then you're not really authorized, are you?"
"Well, usually I would be, but apparently you're a special case."
Special case, huh? Anne thought. I'll just have to see where that goes.
"Okay, I'll put the gun down," Anne said, seemingly following her word and putting it towards the floor. When she noticed the enforcer just slightly letting his guard down, she suddenly brought the butt of the weapon directly to his chin, putting him in the same position as his partner.
"Some enforcers," she huffed. The two in front hadn't even slightly noticed yet, and she chuckled when she realized this. Of course, that did provide a problem; namely, if they hadn't noticed yet, they would still drive all the way towards their destination, and then she would be woefully outnumbered.
"Damn it," she muttered, considering her options. Looking over the two enforcer's unconscious forms, she noticed they were both carrying smoke grenades, a sight very familiar to her by now. She gingerly removed one of them, closed her eyes, and activated it, filling the entire area with thick smoke. This easily got the attention of the two remaining men, as some of the smoke seeped into the front seats, and in a panic, they brought the truck to a screeching halt. Anne nearly lost her footing as this happened, but regained it when the truck stopped completely and kicked the door open, revealing to her that she was in a road cutting through a massive forest, a place that could not have been more perfect for her. She quickly ran into it, disappearing within its thick wood like a ninja. The two enforcers were not quick enough to respond, and instead chose to immediately call for backup, telling of the enemy of the state that had escaped their grip with ease…
()()()
Slick, Jack, Ralph, and Larch had all entered the nearest TV studio, and were somewhat surprised to see Strom Durstrand pacing about in the front lobby, clearly nervous about something. When the explorer noticed them, he looked at them oddly. Had he properly recognized them, he probably would have had a heart attack, but that was not to be. Indeed, they were all disguised as completely different people, and Slick himself was invisible. This would be very helpful for later on in the plan, when not being seen would be absolutely critical.
"Was that Strom?" Larch asked.
"Yeah," Slick confirmed. "Wonder what's up with him."
"Probably just nervous," Ralph offered. "Look, we're wasting time. You all know the plan, right?"
"Right," the other three said in unison. Slick ducked out of the building, as did Larch, leaving only Jack and Ralph, who went up to the front desk to enact their plan.
"Hello?" Jack asked, drawing the attention of the receptionist, a woman with blonde hair done up in a bun. "We were called in here by Mr. Durstrand, would it be possible to see him right now?"
"Mr. Durstrand is busy at the moment, but if you came in later, I'm sure he would be happy to see you. What's your name?"
"LeBoure."
The woman put the name in, and came up with nothing. "I'm sorry, sir, I don't see an appointment under the name LeBoure."
"It's a funny spelling. L-E-B-O-U-R-E."
"That's how I spelled it."
"Uh…" Jack droned, before Ralph enacted the next part of the plan. He put a strained expression on his face, grasped at his left arm, and collapsed to the floor, silent. Jack feigned horror at this, but the receptionist showed real terror, screamed loudly, and immediately called for help. Several other people were drawn into the room, surrounding Ralph's form.
"Hey, hey, give him room!" Jack commanded. The people did so, allowing him space. During this, Slick and Larch came back in, and while everybody was staring at Ralph, slipped into a maintenance area and looked around for any way up. A staircase was soon noticed, and they carefully snuck through, making sure not to be noticed by anybody who was still in there. Soon, they reached the third and top floor, the opening to the roof clearly available.
"All right, we are in!" Larch said. Slick, still invisible, climbed up, followed by Larch. Now on the roof, they noticed the skies had darkened quite a bit, though not yet enough for a storm. "Hm…"
"What's the problem?" Slick asked.
"I fear all this cloud cover could cause electrical interference…" Larch said. "To find Anne within any range at all, you would have to focus greatly, and that could potentially cause you great harm, or even—"
"If Anne is in danger, I don't care," Slick said, pushing past him and walking towards the large array on the corner of the roof. "Just tell me what I need to do."
"Well, if you simply grasp the part connecting the microwave dish itself to the rest of the assembly, it should be enough to get a view of everything within the dish's range, and since you are so familiar with Anne's aura pattern, it should be easy…but again, the electrical interference from atmospheric ions…"
"Yeah, yeah, inverse neutrinos," Slick said, grasping the microwave emitter. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and activated his sense.
In an instant, he saw everything for miles. Thousands, no, millions of people, all going through their daily lives, watching television, training Pokémon, even just walking, he saw and comprehended it all, but only just. He soon managed to focus in on Anne, who had just escaped from the truck and was now running through the forest, nobody bothering to give chase. He smiled, impressed at this feat, before he released the device and fell to the floor, smoke coming off of his body. Larch quickly grabbed him and supported him, gently cradling him like Michelangelo's Pieta.
"Slick!" Larch cried desperately. "Stay with me! I know you can do this!"
Slick gingerly reached up a single claw to Larch's face, saying nothing…before pinching his nose and laughing openly.
"What, did you think I was gonna die?" he asked, his words broken up by raucous laughter. "No, I'm fine, man, that was the sickest shit ever!"
Larch groaned and dropped Slick to the floor, who grunted in pain. "All right, enough of this, where is she?"
"She's in that forest over there," Slick answered, pointing in the direction he saw Anne in. Larch looked as hard as he could, and could just barely see the tree line above the buildings. "She escaped the truck and she's on the run."
"Really?" Larch asked. "Remarkable…I doubt I could have done anything like that. Perhaps Ralph could have…"
"Maybe," Slick said, getting back to his feet. "Come on, let's get back down there before somebody notices us."
The harsh wail of a siren immediately drew their attention, as an ambulance pulled up in front of the station.
"Oops." Slick observed the EMTs pulling out a stretcher and entering the building, scratching his head as Larch palmed his face.
()()()
As soon as Ralph heard the sirens, he knew the plan was up, and he had to improvise. As such, when the stretchers came in, he suddenly opened his eyes and jolted to his feet, looking around himself as if he was very confused.
"What happened?" he asked, faking a groggy voice.
"Sir, are you all right?" an EMT asked, pushing past the crowd to get to him. "We were told you had a heart attack and collapsed."
"Did I?" he asked. "Oh…I guess I'd better go with you, then, that's not good…"
"Ralph!" Larch said, pushing past the crowd as well. "What is going on?"
"He had a heart attack, but apparently he's recovered. He'll need to come with us so we can check further."
"Okay…" Larch said. "So, Jack, shall we go pick up that package?"
"Packa—oh, yeah!" he said, running out. Larch followed, and the crowd slowly dispersed, allowing Ralph to be removed.
()()()
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Strom shouted into his phone, once again having got into touch with his secret contact, this time in anger rather than desperation.
"You said you required them to be held up, and we have done so."
"You kidnapped one of them and the other one just faked a heart attack in the lobby! That's not a holdup, that's complete insanity!"
"It worked," the voice claimed. "They are now trying to get Anne back, who is in the middle of the wilderness. Ralph is being taken to hospital, most likely for some time, and the potential fallout from this incident will make people very untrusting of them, so they will have difficulties in finding their start."
"I swear, if you mess this up…" Strom growled. "I need them alive for this to work! I need them to be able to accomplish things!"
"And they will," the contact claimed. "You worry too much, Strom. Everything will work out, you will get your show, the people will watch it…"
"And what about Larch?" Strom interrupted. "Where does he go?"
"I will let you decide that when everything is said and done," the contact said. "I would suggest removing them from the equation entirely to cover up any…loose ends."
"I see." Strom sighed and put his phone away. It wasn't pleasant, but in the world of TV, sometimes you had to break a few eggs…