Disclaimer: I claim or own nothing. It all belongs to J.R.R Tolkien.
The sound that passed through the young dwarf prince's lips was a tortured sound. A hollow, weak, tortured cry that echoed through the still forest.
Fíli, Kíli called out and he shouted with such desperation.
But he received no answer, no response from Fíli, because he was nowhere to be found. Kíli was surrounded by a haze of darkness and he hated it. He hated that it was inescapable, that it seemed to trail by his side wherever he went. It soaked into his skin and seeped into his mind, and soon all Kíli had was darkness and a need to find his brother.
It wasn't a want, or a desire, to find Fíli. It was a need that controlled him, and would take him to the ends of the world, and to the darkest lands, if that was where Fíli would be. Wherever Fíli needed him, Kíli would go.
Suddenly, Kíli was gripped by a pair of hands that he hadn't seen in the darkness. These hands gripped him tightly, shook him, and tried to return him to the reality surrounding him. Kíli snapped his head towards the hands, and soon looked up to the face. In the moonlight it was clear this wasn't Fíli.
"Kíli." the voice said, and it was a familiar, calming voice. "Kíli, what happened to you?"
But Kíli couldn't answer, he wouldn't waste time here. He struggled and fought the hands away, staggering backwards until he fell. Thorin appeared before him, his face glistening in a shard of moonlight. Thorin stared at him, and Kíli seemed to almost snap back to reality. Almost.
"Uncle Thorin." he jumped upright, and was caught by Thorin's arms.
"Kíli-" Thorin began.
But Kíli talked over him and he talked quickly, he had much to say and little time to say it.
"I can't find him. I can't Fíli." Kíli said, and he continued to struggle in his Uncle's arms.
Kíli's entire body shook; it shook with pain, and guilt, and he appeared to be incapable of remaining still or calm. Sweat ran down his forehead, and his hands trembled as he gripped Thorin's forearms.
"Fee. Did you find him? Do you-Did you find him, Uncle?" Kíli asked, and his eyes swirled with a dark fear.
"We found him." Thorin said.
But it was almost like Kíli didn't hear the words, like they had somehow floated by unnoticed and. If he had heard them, which still remained unknown to the company as they watched on, he didn't acknowledge that he had.
"We should take him back." a voice said.
Another voice followed. "He must be looked at immediately."
But even though the voices were familiar to Kíli, and with them came some sort of calming feeling, in this moment they were just voices. Empty sounds, with none belonging to his brother. Kíli realised that he had been pulled up to his feet, and was being led forward. But he wouldn't go, not yet.
"Fíli!" Kíli shouted, and fought away the arms that held him back.
More voices came, followed by another pair of arms and the familiar voice of his Uncle. Thorin appeared before Kíli, and settled his hands against his cheeks.
"Kíli, we found Fíli! He's fine-"
Thorin was unwilling to let go, and instead his grip on Kíli's arms tightened. He couldn't lose his nephew seconds after finding him, and Thorin was certain that if he let go then Kíli would run off to find Fíli. They couldn't risk losing either of them again.
Kíli struggled still, despite Thorin's reassurance. He struggled, and fought, like he had to find Fíli before they ran out of time.
"No, let go- I can't go. I have to find him. I have to find Fee, and we have to find our way back."
"We know the way back-"
"You don't know. Only we know! It's between only between us!"
And those words had a certain ring to them, that Thorin recognised immediately. He turned briefly to face Balin, and it was clear that he too recognised these words.
When they were children, Kíli and Fíli would run off to the forests and spend countless hours in there. In the forests they would run with each other, play games, practise their skills and do the things that children did. They would also have their secrets in the forest; places they would meet or run off to, and they would only share this with each other. Although, on occasion, Thorin had discovered a few of their secret places.
Thorin and Balin seemed to be the first to understand Kíli's words, but after a moment it sunk in for all the other dwarves; Kíli thought they were back home, and that he had lost Fíli in a game.
"Kíli, we are not home." Thorin said sadly, and moved a step closer.
Kíli instinctively stepped away, the fear still clear on his face and the desperation in his eyes growing.
"I need to find him. I need to find Fee. I won't go."
Kíli could fight, or argue, but they would not be leaving him behind. They would never leave him behind.
"We have found him. Fíli is well-"
"No." Kíli shouted, and pushed Thorin away. "Let go of me. Liar."
And then something shifted. The look on Kíli's face changed, and he stared at Thorin like he didn't recognise him, like he was someone else. Somewhere else, in a darker place than this. Fear ignited inside of Kíli, and the sudden need to protect his family, when they were unable to protect themselves, came upon Kíli.
Kíli drew out his sword and swung it forward.
"Stay away from me, beast!" he shouted, and took a step closer.
Nearly all of the members of the company raised their swords the second that Kíli lifted his up to Thorin. It was clear that he was not well, and did not mean to draw his sword on his Uncle. He would never bring harm upon his blood, or his own. Thorin knew this, and this was why he had not reached for Orcrist, this was why he didn't move at all when Kíli had reached for his sword.
"Lower your arms." Thorin instructed those behind him.
But no one listened. Thorin turned around briefly, a serious look on his face, and this moment of vulnerability gave Kíli his opportunity; he didn't see his uncle, he saw Azog. Kíli knew that he had to save his Uncle, that he couldn't let the pale Orc injure Thorin again.
The moonlight bounced off Kíli's sword as he swung it forward, and Thorin stepped away just in time to miss the full impact of the blade. It wasn't a wound worth any attention.
Thorin and Dwalin shared a brief look, knowing that there was only one way they would be getting Kíli the care that he needed tonight. There was only one way they would be leaving this dark place, and it would mean forcing Kíli to leave. If he would not leave willingly, and if he could not see past the fog that hung around his head, they would have to drag him out.
Dwalin followed Thorin's lead as he stepped forward quickly, anticipating Kíli's response. He took Kíli's right arm, while Dwalin took his left, with a great deal of force. They would try to be gentle, but the possibility of a few bruises meant nothing compared to the damage that may have been done to Kíli.
His body continued to shiver, and the sweat ran down his forehead. It was clear to all that his fever had not disappeared. And his journey into the forest, when he had not been ready for physical movements just yet, had only worsened his state.
Kíli fought like they knew he would, like he always would, but he didn't fight hard enough. He didn't have enough strength to fight at all. With Thorin and Dwalin holding him tightly, he didn't stand much of a chance. His blade fell from his hands, and Balin picked it up from him.
They ignored his calls, and dragged him forward despite his attempts to break free of their hold, because they needed to see his wounds were tended to. Balin and Gandalf led the way forward, followed by Bilbo and Bofur by their sides. Dwalin, Thorin and Kíli were behind them, with the rest of the company at the back of the group.
"I can't leave them." Kíli said sometime later, and his voice fell quieter.
It shook with sadness.
"We found him, laddie." Dwalin said, and then shared a look with Thorin.
They moved at a fast pace, for it was clear that Kíli also needed to be tended to, and their own worries about Fíli had not been forgotten for a moment.
Thorin thought constantly of Fíli, and questioned how he was doing, and if the wounds to his body had been serious. He thought of his safety, and the safety of those with him, and this pushed him forward a little faster.
But Kíli did not want to move faster, he did not want to move forward at all, and he put up as much of a fight as he could until he fell tired. He was undeniably tired, and he stopped at all. Instead, he tried to fight with his words.
"I can't. I won't."
"We found him, laddie." Dwalin repeated with a low voice.
Thorin paused, and protectively tightened his grip on Kíli's arm, so he could keep him close.
"Fíli will be fine." Thorin finally said.
But these words were not enough to convince Kíli, for it seemed that another, stronger thought lurked in his mind.
"I can't go back." Kíli mumbled, and dropped his head slightly. "Can't go.."
I can't go back, Thorin repeated in his mind. He heard these words over and over, until they made sense, until he had almost figured out what Kíli was meaning to say. Kíli was not fighting, and shouting that he could not return, without Fíli. He was not saying they could not return without Fíli, but instead he was shouting that he alone could not go back.
From the look that Thorin caught from Dwalin, as he turned to look at his friend, it was clear that he had also worked this out. Kíli did not want to go back, and was refusing for a reason unclear to them.
"How far now?" Dwalin shouted out.
"Not too much longer, Master Dwarf." Gandalf's voice returned in the silence only seconds later.
It was silently decided by Dwalin and Thorin in this moment that they would keep moving forward, even if Kíli did not wish to. It was only after Kíli had stopped fighting at all, and the words had stopped escaping his mouth, did Thorin look down to realise just how unwell he was. Kíli's eyelids were closed, and he now hung limply between their hold. He made little effort to move on his own. Kíli didn't move at all.
Thorin stopped suddenly, and turned to Dwalin. In this moment, it was as though Dwalin was able to read Thorin's thoughts, which was a rare thing that not many had ever been able to do. But to Dwalin, it was not always so rare. The usually shielded King Under the Mountain stared at Dwalin with no guards or shields, and it was clear what he needed, what he didn't dare ask.
Dwalin knew that, even though Thorin had not said so, he was still recovering from his own wounds, inflicted on him by Azog and the wargs and all of his strength had not yet returned to him. Dwalin stopped and in one swift movement, he picked Kíli up from the ground and settled him in his arms. The young dwarf was in no condition to walk the rest of the way, and this was the safer alternative.
After staring at his nephew's limp body for another moment, Thorin dragged his eyes up to Dwalin and gave the slightest nod of his head. Then he stepped forward, almost like he was unable to stop and turn back and look upon Kíli, for with each glance at him came great feelings of guilt.
Thorin took his place at the head of the company and led the way forward, the guilt inside of him forcing out a new determination. He wasn't aware of how much time had passed when he stepped out of the forest, and into the clearing.
In the distance Thorin could see a small fire had been lit, and could just make out the figures of the company around it. But even with the sight of the small fire, and knowing they had made it out without serious injuries, he did not ease up. Thorin stopped, and turned around. He gestured for the group to move forward, as he silently counted each member of the company as they passed him.
Gandalf led the way across the fields, and to the small fire. His eyes first settled upon Dori and Nori, who stood to the side while Óin knelt down by Fíli's side.
The company seemed to part ways when they reached the fire, with most of the company moving away from Óin, and allowing Dwalin to move forward. He took large steps forward, and slowly eased Kíli down to the ground.
"How is he?" Thorin asked, and walked to them.
His eyes quickly skimmed over Fíli's body, and he found that some of the blood had been wiped away from the wound to clean it. Óin had seen to the wound already, covered it with an ointment, and checked him over for wounds.
Óin turned around slowly. "Apart from the wound to his head, and his injured arm, I have found no other wounds."
"Is it serious?"
Óin seemed to consider this for a moment.
"He is yet to wake, and seems to have hit his head harshly. His condition must be monitored." Óin paused. "The lad's arm is fine, the bone did not break. It will be sore, but it will heal with time."
With that, Óin stood from the ground and turned to inspect Kíli. His body seemed to only wear a few fresh scratches and bruises, and he seemed to be well, except for the fever. But Óin was confident that he with time he could control it, and rid Kíli of it.
Óin unbuttoned the front of Kíli's tunic so that he might take a look at the wounds from the warg. The dark, deep bruises remained, as did the long, jagged scar that ran up the side of his body. Despite the redness of it, it seemed to have healed well. After observing it for another moment, Óin's fingers prodded the area but found that all had seemed to heal. He turned to Thorin, and gave a slight nod of his head.
"The lad will be fine." he announced, and then continued with his work.
Glóin lit a fire, while the other members of the company begun to settle down on the ground. Dwalin insisted that he take the first watch, and took his place a few feet away from where Kíli and Fíli laid.
Thorin gave up with a sigh, and moved to the ground beside his nephews. He simply sat and stared down at them, as though he was trying to somehow determine what had happened. All that surrounded Thorin seemed to fade away. It didn't matter to him, not right now. He focused everything that he had on his nephews, and allowed everything else to fade away into the darkness of the night.
"It may not be safe here." Balin said quietly, and appeared by Thorin's side. "Perhaps, we should move."
"They were not attacked, Balin. They injured themselves during some foolish game. We need not move yet." Thorin answered, and with a turn of his head it seemed that the conversation was over.
Balin lingered at Thorin's side for another moment, before he cast a look over the young dwarves and turned away. He joined Dwalin a few feet away, and eased himself down on to the ground beside his brother.
"Do you think it was a foolish game?" Dwalin questioned sometime later.
"I do not know." Balin sighed wearily, and then paused. "But I do know that we are lucky to have found them before further injury fell upon them. At least they are not too badly injured."
Dwalin grunted, and craned his neck back to look at the resting figures of Kíli and Fíli. He seemed to stare at them, watching them with a deep concern, for a longer than he'd intended to and when he looked back he caught Balin's gaze.
"Óin said that they should be fine."
"Did he not also say that after Gandalf healed them?" Dwalin snapped back, and there was a clear anger to his tone.
"Gandalf is a wizard, not a healer-"
"I am aware of that." Dwalin said, and looked to Balin. "They should not have been left on their own, when they were almost certain to wander to places they should not."
"Come now, brother." Balin's voice softened, and he smiled. "You know the lads just as well as I do, so you know just how similar they are to Thorin. Sometimes, too much for their own good. They are strong, and at times stubborn. Above all, they are brave, and incredibly courageous. Put but a little faith in them, and they may surprise even you."
Despite knowing that these words were true, Dwalin felt no ease. There was a feeling deep inside of him that he could not ignore. A thought nagging at his mind. It was constant.
If their wounds had indeed been the result of a game, or if they had been an accident, Dwalin was unable to see a situation in which Kíli or Fíli would leave the other alone. Kíli's recent wounds had drawn the two closer, if that was possible, and so Dwalin struggled to understand or believe they would leave each other willingly. It would seem that Fíli's injuries had befallen him first, for he was not conscious in the world of the living when they had found him, but Kíli had been.
There were so many unasked questions which could not be answered until Kíli or Fíli woke, and this did not seem like it would be happening very soon. All that the company could do was wait, and hold on to hope.
A/N: 4 days until the DOS, and I don't know how much longer I can wait! Seriously, it's taking all of my self-control to avoid EVERYTHING that could have spoilers (reviews of the movie, tumblr and etc.)
Back to my story...This isn't my favourite chapter, I don't really like it at all...But after a few attempts this was the best I could do with it. Sorry, I wanted it to be better but sometimes it happens.. I know, it hasn't be revealed what exactly happened to Kíli and Fíli but it will all be revealed in the next chapter. Thanks for the new follows and favourites, I appreciate it.
A special thanks to: silvermoongirl10, katzy8, GregsMadHatter, Lennelle, Oblivian03, So-Sings-Nightingales, StormKyrellFosten14 and Mzzmarie for their very kind reviews of chapter 10. They are very much appreciated.
Just a little note in here saying to please keep in mind that there might be people who haven't read the book. So, it would be great to take that into considering if/when posting reviews as you might leave an unwanted spoiler for someone else and I wouldn't want that.
Also, since all I can think about (and seem to write about) is mostly Hobbit related lately, I was thinking that if anyone wanted to they could PM me a prompt or something they might like to see in a story - or something they might even like to see in this story as I'll be continuing it for a while. Thanks again.
Enjoy.
x
