Look! Teddy and Addison interaction!
:D
I hope you enjoy it!
-Jordyn.
Addison just stared at the door, watching it slam behind the woman that she loved. She wasn't sure what had happened, but she knew that it wasn't what she had wanted. She had come back to Seattle to try and convince Teddy that she had changed, and despite everything that had happened between them, they deserved a chance. Although it had taken her some time to realize, Addison knew in her heart that they were supposed to be together. It hit her after a brief, and somewhat painful, affair with a surfer in LA. She had tried to substitute this woman for Teddy, and it had been a disaster. While the woman looked like Teddy, she wasn't her. Addison missed the way she smiled, and laughed, and looked after she finished laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. But she found herself missing the small moments between them the most. The moments that didn't mean anything, until you realized that they weren't there anymore. Teddy had always been able to read her better than she could read herself, and she wanted that back. She wanted her friend, and the woman that she loved.
Even that she had come to terms with. The fact that Teddy was a woman didn't matter to her anymore, because she knew in her heart that it didn't matter that Teddy was a woman, because she loved person that Teddy was, not the gender. She just wished that there was a way to make her see that, to make her see that they deserved a chance at their own happily ever after. But as much as she wanted that, she knew that it was her own fault that she had to fight for them now. If she hadn't run away all those months ago, maybe things would be different now, and instead of sitting alone in a conference room, she would be sitting in Teddy's apartment waiting for her beautiful girlfriend to get off of work.
A knock on the door brought her crashing back to reality. She held her breath, knowing in her heart that it wasn't Teddy, but she found herself hoping anyway. When Mark appeared behind the door, she let her plaster casted smile fall, and she gave into the tears that she had been holding back. There was a time to be strong, and then there was a time to let people see the weakness, and Addison was learning that she needed to let people see the weakness in her before she was ever going to be able to fix what she had broken.
X X X
"You okay, babe?" Max's voice came from the kitchen. "You've been awfully quiet since you got home." Teddy lifted her head from the side of the couch, smiling at the fact that Max cared enough to try and get her to talk. So many people before had just let her stew in her own thoughts, and sometimes, that was a dangerous place to be. But she was never good at letting other people in on her problems, thankfully, Max had always managed to weasel her way in, and rarely had to say anything.
"It was just a long day," She called back. Knowing that wasn't the full truth, but deciding not to say any more unless she asked.
"And?" Max asked, appearing soundlessly by the couch holding two plates of Chinese from their favorite restaurant. The military had taught her many things, the most useful was how to be a ninja. A skill she liked to try and use on her unsuspecting girlfriend.
"It was just hard to see her today. I had all of these things in my head that I thought I would say to her when I finally saw her again, and yet, I couldn't say any of them. She hurt me, deeper than anyone I have ever known and yet I wanted to forgive her..." Teddy's voice dropped off, not wanting Max to think that she was trying to end things between them, because in reality, it was quite the opposite. She was trying to build a stronger bond between them by being completely honest.
"I know, honey. It's the people that we trust the most that are able to hurt us the deepest. You remember all the good times that you had together, and they start to overshadow the bad." She sat down on the couch and pulled Teddy into her arms, and she instantly buried her head in Max's chest. She just wanted to be held, and she felt so safe in Max's arms.
"I don't want to have to think about her any more. I want to just worry about this," She tapped Max's chest just over her heart, "And us. I want my past to stay my past."
"Then just let it go. You gave her a chance to explain herself, and you don't owe her anything more than that. So why don't you just relax, and enjoy a night with me," She leaned down and kissed her softly, "And Jennifer Beals." Teddy smiled, feeling the tension that had been building up in her body slip away the longer that she was in Max's arms.
"I think that I can handle that," She settled against Max's side, and let the rest of the world fade away.
X X X
"You know," A voice came from behind her. She'd know that voice anywhere. "If you drink yourself into oblivion, you aren't going to do you or her any good." She looked a Joe, and then back at Addison, silently asking how many she had already had. Two, he mouthed back, managing to avoid Addison's gaze. She drained the last of her drink, and gestured to him for another. He ignored the look that her visitor was giving him as he set the fresh drink in front of her. He'd cut her off after this one, but he could tell that she needed to loser herself tonight. He hadn't seen Addison around recently, but he could still read her like a book.
"And you say that like I care," She spat, spinning on her stool to face Christina Yang. "She's moved on and gotten over me, so who gives a flying fuck if I'm drunk. The only person that ever actually saw the real me is off with some woman who could be a super model. I've missed my change, so I'm going to get drunk, and I dare you to try and stop me." She turned back to the drink that Joe had set in front of her, but Yang was too fast for her inebriated state, and managed to snag it before she could.
"I do. Because you broke her, Addison, and she can't teach me when she's broken. The day that you left for good is the day that I stopped learning from her. You broke her, so you need to fix her." Christina said, stepping into Addison's personal space so she was aware of how serious she was.
"She doesn't want me to fix it!" Addison said, glaring at Christina. She just wanted to be left alone to wallow in her self pity.
"And you believed her? Jesus, Addison. She has been walking around missing you since the moment that you left!" Addison just dropped her eyes to the bare in front of her, because Yang was right, she hadn't believed what Teddy had said, but she didn't know what to do about it. "That's what I thought," She said, when she saw the look of defeat on Addison's face. "Where is the Addison Montgomery that would stop at nothing to get what she wanted? The Addison that strode into Seattle Grace and confronted Meredith, because she was sleeping with Derek?"
"She's gone. She's been gone since I walked away that night. I left a piece of myself with her, and it looks like she threw it out like the garbage that I am."
"Well then you need to get her back. Because I want the old Teddy back, and you're the only one that can do that, and you both know it." She handed the untouched drink back to Joe, and grabbed Addison by the arm to prove her point.
"Alright, alright." Addison said, yanking her arm free of Christina's grip. "I got the message. I'm going." She slid off the bar stool onto her instead feet. It took her a moment but she was able to regain her balance enough to stand, and make her way out of the bar. She knew that Christina was right, she just didn't know how she was going to do it. She needed to find that confident woman that she had been so many years ago, and she needed someone to tell her that she could do it. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, she dialed the only person that she could think of that would give her an honest answer, even if she didn't want it.
X X X
"I never pegged you for a heartbreak drunk," Meredith said, looking Addison up and down while she held the car door open.
"Let's save the judgments for another time," Addison said, slamming the for to illustrate her point. Meredith just smiled and made her way to the driver's side. "If I had wanted judgments or lectures, I would have called your husband!" Meredith just looked at her.
"Why did you call me, Addison? Out of all the people you know in Seattle, what possessed you to call me?"
"Because I knew that you'd give me a no bullshit answer, and I need that right now. I need to know, Meredith, do I have a chance here to fix what I broke? Or should I just cut my loses now, and let her be happy?" Because of the alcohol in her system, and the fact that she hadn't slept, her voice gave away more of her emotional state than she had intended to.
"She's happy, Addison. But not as happy as I think she could be. When I see her smile, it doesn't reach her eyes the way it used to. It did when you were around, and when she talked about you, she'd just light up. But you have to know how much it hurt her when you walked away. You know better than anyone that she's not good at letting people get close to her. So when she let you in, and trusted you with that piece of her, and then you abused that power; it shattered her faith in people." She looked over at Addison to make sure that she was still listening. Her head was against the window, but her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. "She's with Max because she's safe. Max is good for her, Addison. So if you're going to do this, then you need to be damn sure that you know what you're doing, and that you can commit to it. Because I know that she would come running back to you in a heartbeat, even after everything you've done. So you need to be 100 percent committed to her happiness, and being what she needs from you. She deserves at least that much." Meredith let her words hang in the air as she pulled up in front of Addison's hotel. She hoped that somewhere in the dense brain of hers that her words had their desired effect. Addison reached for the door handle, but Meredith stopped her.
"Do you love her?" She asked, holding her gaze.
"I do, more than I ever thought I could." She said without hesitation.
"Then that's your answer." She said with a smile, letting go of Addison's arm. "Have a good night, Addison."
She watched the car pull away, wondering what her life had come to that she was calling Meredith Grey for relationship advice. But she had been right, and Addison could tell that being with Derek had been good for the doctor, she thought with a sad sigh. She knew what she needed to do; and she just hoped that Meredith was right, and that Teddy would let her try to make things right.
X X X
"Want me to drive you to work this morning?" Max asked, appearing behind Teddy at the stove, and wrapping her arms around her waist.
"Hmmm..." She hummed contently as Max's hands found their way under her shirt and onto her smooth stomach. "Depends."
"On?" Max asked, placing soft kisses against the base of Teddy's neck and exposed shoulders, successfully distracting Teddy from the breakfast she had been trying to prepare.
"If we take the bike," She said, flipping the burner off, and turning to face Max. The sight of her in her old army t-shirt and boxers gave Teddy a sense of warmth that she'd never felt before. She'd never had that, someone to care about her, and to wake up with her in the mornings with breakfast in bed for no reason.
"I think that can be arranged," Max said, closing the gap between them with a swift, decisive movement. Teddy readily responded, and pulled their bodies together that there was virtually no space between them. It felt good to have her so close, and Teddy found herself getting lost in the kiss.
Just as soon as she had initiated the kiss, Max pulled back, leaving Teddy slightly dazed. She laughed as Teddy tried to shake the fog from her head, and focus on what was going on in front of her. She reached out to pull Max back, to restore contact, but she stepped out of her reach, enjoying the look of defeat on Teddy's face.
"Didn't you say something about breakfast?" Max asked, with a smirk.
"Who cares about breakfast when I have something even more delicious in front of me?"
"You have to go to work," Max said, taking a step back out of Teddy's personal space, but not far enough, not nearly far enough.
"And you have to stop distracting me," She said, matching Max's step with one of her own. Max took another step back, bigger this time, and getting way too much enjoyment out of watching Teddy get frustrated with her.
"How about you go jump in the shower, and I'll make us breakfast. That way we can eat together?" Teddy just sighed, realizing that Max wasn't going to concede this one to her.
"Fine," She said, making sure that Max was aware of her displeasure in the situation. "But I better see French toast on this table when I get out or someone is going to be in trouble!" Max smiled as Teddy made her way back to the bedroom with a little less spring in her step. She couldn't hide her smirk as she quietly followed a few steps behind her gorgeous girlfriend. Who cares about breakfast when you have a beautiful woman in your shower? They could pick up breakfast on the way.
X X X
Teddy stared at the pathetic looking food in front of her, silently cursing Max for not taking the time to stop for food on the way in. But her thoughts immediately followed to why she was so late to begin with, and a smile broke out across her face. She could manage hospital food every day if she got to start the day like that.
"Have enough food there?" A voice asked from behind her, effective pulling her from her thoughts and wiping the smile off her face. She would know that voice anywhere and even now, she could still hear the smile in her teasing tone, and she tried to keep it from stopping her heart. Taking a deep breath, she turned to face Addison, doing her best to keep her face neutral.
"Addison," She said in a voice that lacked so much emotion that it was almost robotic. Addison had always loved the way her name sounded when Teddy said it, but today it felt like a knife through the heart. "What are you still doing here? Don't you have a job in LA to get back to?"
"I took some time off. I need to sort out some things, and I figured what better place to do that than surrounded by friends." She briefly looked Teddy up and down, noticing how good she looked. Teddy didn't respond, instead she turned back to the food options in front of her and threw a few on her tray. She didn't trust herself not to ask if she was the real reason that Addison was still in Seattle.
"Why are you eating breakfast here?" Addison asked, realizing that Teddy was there for more than just bad coffee. "I thought that you hated hospital food?"
"I do, but I was umm... running late this morning," She said quickly, hiding her blush behind her hair. She didn't really want to be talking about Max with Addison, who immediately understood what Teddy meant.
"Ah... I see." She paused, trying to decide if she wanted to take the next step. "How is Max?" She asked, jumping in with both feet. She had to start somewhere.
"What the hell are you actually doing here, Addison?" Teddy snapped, reaching the end of her rope. "Did you really think that you could waltz back into my life like nothing had happened? Like you had any right to ask about Max, or anyone else for that matter? We aren't friends Addison, so let's stop pretending that we are." Addison stopped, staring at Teddy. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say, so she went with an honest answer.
"I missed you," She said, trying to catch Teddy's eyes so she could see how serious she was. "I missed my best friend, and I'm willing to do whatever I have to, to start fixing this." She said, gesturing between the two of them. Teddy let out a dry laugh.
"Maybe you should have thought of that before you walked away that night. You burned that bridge before you ever got a chance to see where it might lead, and now that you want to know, the answer is just out of your reach." Teddy said, letting her emotions get the better of her. She was tired of Addison just waltzing in and out of her life whenever she felt like it.
"But maybe it doesn't have to be. Maybe we can start to build back what we had. I miss you Teddy…" Addison pleaded. She needed her to understand how serious she was about not making the same mistake twice.
"Addison, you broke my heart, and shattered my trust in you. What in the world would possess you to think that I'd even consider giving you another chance?" Teddy asked, she had intended on ending the conversation long ago, but something within her wanted to know the answer.
"Because I love you, Teddy, and somewhere deep inside I hoping that you still loved me too…" Teddy's heart sank. Of all the things that Addison could have said, that was the worst, because she did still love her and she probably always would. But in the battle of mind and heart, her mind could never forget the hurt that Addison had caused, and how she had thrown away their friendship like it was a piece of trash.
"I'm sorry Addie, I just can't." She gave Addison a tired look, and walked away, leaving her tray of food untouched. Addison smiled slightly, despite everything, because she was making progress, even if Teddy didn't realize it. She had called her Addie for the first time in months. Maybe there was still hope yet.
X X X
"You okay?" Max asked, looking at Teddy from the passenger seat. "You've been awfully quiet tonight."
"Fine," she said, forcing a smile. "I've just got a lot on my mind." She hoped that Max didn't read into it too much, she didn't really feel up to explaining that all she'd be able to think about since running into Addison at the hospital, was Addison.
"Anything you'd like to share with the class?" She asked, even though she already knew what had Teddy's mind in a twist.
"Nothing, and everything," She said quietly, looking over at Max. All she wanted was to be happy, and she was happy with Max, so why did her mind keep pulling Addison back up every few minutes? Max could see the anguish on her face, and she wanted more than anything to be able to ease that pain, but she knew that she wasn't the one that Teddy wanted.
"Alright," She said, reaching over and taking Teddy's hand that was resting on the gearshift, earning her a sad smile.
They drove the rest of the way in silence, Teddy's eyes focused on the road, and Max's mind wandering from how to deal with this new information, and what she wanted to do about it. As they pulled up to the apartment, Teddy turned to face Max, and gave her a look as if she were seeing her for the first time. In that look Max saw everything that she needed to. No matter how much she loved Teddy, and she truly did love her, she always had, Teddy was never going to be hers, and she was going to have to accept that.
As they made their way up to the apartment, the tension between them caused the few feet of space between their bodies to feel like miles. The silence in the car had cause the small chip to become a giant crack that couldn't be fixed. It was an unspoken tension, but one that Callie could sense the second that she opened the door. Arizona appeared behind her wife and gave the two women her classic smile.
"Welcome! Dinner is almost done, and the wine is ready to go. Why don't you guys come on in, and I'll take your coats." She could sense the tension between the couple, and pulled Teddy into a hug before she took her coat. "Is everything alright?" She whispered, hoping that her suspicions weren't right.
"Fine," Teddy said with another forced smile. She knew Arizona didn't believe her, but she couldn't tell her what was going on. At least not yet. Arizona just sighed, realizing that she had been right. She turned her attention to Max, who was standing quietly just inside the door, just taking in her surroundings.
"Hi," Arizona said, taking the initiative to introduce herself since it was obvious that Teddy wasn't going to. "I'm Arizona, and this," She said pulling Callie over, "Is my wife, Callie." She held out her hand, which Max took with a smile. Arizona couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. Her hair fell around her face, and it was paired with a shy smile, giving her an understated beauty that Arizona admired. She could see what drew Teddy to her in the first place. Arizona could tell that they were going to get along instantly, but she knew that she wasn't going to be around much longer. Once her ties to Teddy were severed, she'd take off again. Arizona could sense that on her.
"Come in and sit!" Callie said, gesturing toward the couch. "You don't have to stay in the doorway!" Max gave her an appreciative smile at the break from the heavy air that had settled over them.
Max positioned herself on the couch toward the left side, and Teddy took a spot more toward the right, leaving enough room for an entire person between their bodies. Max wasn't always one for PDA, but she could tell that it was acceptable around the couple in front of her. As much as she wanted to reach over and pull Teddy close to her, she was going to let her set the tone for the night, and that tone didn't include cuddling, or showing affection of any kind.
"Teddy here has told us so much about you," Arizona said, trying to get the conversation started. She gave Teddy a pointed glare, letting her know that she was going to get an earful later for leaving Max out to dry. "What brings you back to Seattle?"
"My brother lives out here, so when I got my papers a few months back, I figured I'd come out here and bother him until something better came along." Max smiled at the thought of her brother, and the fact that Teddy was the only reason she was still in Seattle at all. "I grew up in a military family, so it was just expected of me to join up as soon as I was old enough."
"I did too," Arizona said, giving them common ground. "My brother served, two tours in Iraq, and my father was a Colonel in the US Marine Corps. So I understand that pressure." The longer they talked, the more Max seemed to relax.
"I never wanted to do anything else, so now that I'm out, I'm kinda at a loss." She said, seeing Arizona nod in understanding. "I've been picking up odd jobs here and there, but nothing has really stuck."
"I understand that. I got really lucky, I love what I do, and I get to help children in the process. I can't imagine doing anything else." Arizona said, the pride evident in her voice.
"Is that why I saw a pair of heely's in the hallway?" Max asked, with a smile.
"You know what heely's are?!" Arizona squeezed. "I've been trying to convince Callie that we need to buy some for Sophia when she's old enough, but she's not a fan of the idea!" She play glared at her wife, who just rolled her eyes in return. This was an argument that was never going to end.
"Why not? Heely's are only the best shoes ever! I wore them everywhere when I was a kid! I have a pair now that I like to wear when I need to get in touch with my inner child!" The pure excitement in Max's voice was enough to make Teddy smile, a real smile for the first time all night.
As the two women got caught up in their own conversation, Teddy excused herself to the kitchen for a glass of water. She leaned over the sink, trying to get a grip on things that seemed to be quickly spinning out of control. She wasn't sure the exact moment that she had lost her grip on reality, she just knew that it had happened. She snapped her head up when she heard footsteps behind her.
"Teddy, what are you doing?" Callie asked, everything about her body language said that she was on the attack, and Teddy could sense it.
"Having dinner with my girlfriend and my best friends?" She asked, deciding to play dumb.
"I'm serious. You have an amazing woman sitting out there, one who loves you, Teddy. I can see it every time she looks at you. Then there's you, and anyone with eyes can see that you aren't really in this. Your heart is off with Addison. So I'm going to give you the same speech that I gave her. There is an amazing woman out there who gave you a second chance, and you have the power to destroy her. Use that power carefully, because she deserves at least that much."
"I know," Teddy said with a defeated sigh. "She deserves so much better than me, but I just don't know what to do..."
"Have you thought about being honest with her? Because even I can tell that she knows what's going on, but she's not going to be the one to take that first shot."
"I don't want to hurt her, Callie. I've been there, and I can't do that to her. Not again." Her voice trailed off, full of emotion.
"Have you thought about the fact that not being honest is hurting her more?"
"I just can't, Callie."
"Just remember that it's not only you're life that you're ruining." Teddy dropped her head, knowing that Callie was right. "Now come on, we've left them alone too long. They're probably planning a search party." Teddy followed her back to the living room, intent on enjoying the evening.