Thank you Fairusa and Ginginleelee for beta'ing this chapter, you are both truly amazing.

Love's Little Book

Chapter 11

The next morning I laid in bed with the blanket pulled over my head. I couldn't face the morning; I was still consumed with the day before. First the sander, then the paint incident, and then the whole awkward social display in my apartment.

Did I really say that I was lonely? Did Edward really walk into a door? Was he really planning on kissing me? A part of me was sure it was all a dream, but then I remembered how I felt when I thought he was going to kiss me...There was no way a dream could feel like that.

But all of that counted for nothing. The fact remained that he didn't kiss me. In fact, when he realised what he was about to do he walked face first into a door frame in his haste to get away. It was kind of embarrassing for both of us, but then I remembered the smile he gave me, before he walked away. It was not filled with lust, regret or longing. It was a smile of hope... That's what I saw anyway.

Edward would have normally shuffled off and not looked back; he would have been too ashamed and embarrassed to do so. But, instead of the norm he turned around, faced me and gave me a smile that said we were ok. We had been through the most awkward stage of our friendship to date, but it was going to be fine because the connection was already there, we were already a we, we were friends, and I knew that at least for now and quite possibly always that was the way we should remain.

I told myself very firmly that where ever this 'tension' stuff was coming from, I had to find the source and stomp it out. At least for the time being. The simple fact was that I wasn't ready yet, but I was getting there. I could feel it. My marriage was becoming a distant memory and a new horizon was slowly opening up in front of me.

Thinking that only bought a flash back from the night before. I groaned into my blanket and berated my self for bringing back the almost kiss again.

I was glad when my mobile phone rang, dragging me out of the memories of the night before.

I fumbled around my bed side table, searching for my phone. I finally found it and it vibrated violently in my hand.

I answered without looking at the screen.

"Hello," I mumbled.

"Morning, sleepy head," Jacob yelled. I pulled the phone away from my ear slightly, unable to handle his vibrancy so early in the morning.

"Why are you calling me? It is seven in the morning...go away," I whined.

He laughed wholeheartedly down the phone. "I knew you would be awake, I was assuming that you would be heading to the book shop for the whole day," he said with a knowing and teasing tone.

"Yes, well, there is still a lot that needs to be done, it won't decorate itself you know," I replied defensively.

"Of course, Bella. That is exactly what I thought, what did you think I meant?" he said innocently.

I narrowed my eyes, even though he couldn't see them. He was too much like my mother, which was scary.

"Whatever, Jake...what do you want?"

"I just wanted to see if you are free this evening to carry on painting?"

I frowned. "Really, is that the only reason you called me?" I asked.

"No, there is something else as well, but I haven't gotten round to that part yet. So, are you free or not?"

"Of course I am free, if you haven't already noticed you are the only person I hang out with so if I am not seeing you already you can assume I am free, unless I am seeing my mother, which is always something I need to be saved from, just so you know."

He laughed lightly. "Okay, okay. Seth's mom works at a nearby school, and in a month or so they want to do a reading drive. You know, get the kids reading or something like that. So, anyway, Seth mentioned that his friend's friend worked at a book exchange and they wanted to know if Edward was interested in working with them for the event. They're struggling to get the books together at a good price."

I sat up, nearly dropping the phone as I did. This was great for Edward, a step in the right direction. But I knew that at the end of the day it was not my decision.

"Really, you should go and speak to Edward about this, Jake. I know nothing about the actual business side of things," I said timidly.

"I know, but he didn't seem too comfortable with me yesterday, but clearly he is more than comfortable with you," he said, snickering. I just rolled my eyes and waited for him to continue.

"He seems to trust you Bella, and I thought the news would be better coming from you...don't you want to give him this good news?"

The little shit had me, I did want to give Edward the news...a lot. I wanted to see what I hoped would be an excited and happy smile spread across his face, and I wanted to be the one to put it there.

"Well, I suppose I could," I muttered, pretending that it didn't matter to me at all.

"Awesome, if he is interested ask if he could compile a list of teen friendly books. The principal, Tanya Denali, will come visit in a few weeks, to look over it with Edward. I don't know much about it at the moment and I haven't met her or anything. I told Seth to make it clear that this is not definite, I know you guys are trying to get the shop back together, so it might be a bit too soon, but I thought I would run it by you."

"That's awesome, thanks, Jake. I will talk to Edward today and let you know what he says later tonight," I said, getting genuinely excited at the prospect of Edward getting some much needed business.

"No worries, I'll text you later about tonight; I've got to go," he said hurriedly.

"Ok, see ya later," I said before hanging up.

I sat there for a moment and looked at my phone, I knew that I had to text Edward to let him know that I would be coming in early again. I wanted to go in early to get on with the shop, especially if this principle would be coming. First impressions were key.

I also wanted to go in early to show Edward that I was not bothered by what had happened the night before. I didn't want him to think that I was avoiding him or anything.

I looked at my phone, thinking about what I should say; it was really ridiculous. All I had to say was that I would be in early, but for some reason that seemed to be a hard task.

"Just be cool Bella, be cool," I murmured to myself as I started typing. When I was finished I read through the message.

"Hi, Edward, it's Bella. Just letting you know I will be coming in early today if that is ok with you." I read aloud.

I read it through one more time before nervously pressing the send button.

I threw my phone on the bed and got up. As I rifled through my drawers, looking for something to wear, I was unhappy with my selection – like most mornings. Most of my clothes were years old, and as I was married to the only man I had ever really known I never made much of an effort. If I was changing my home, and changing myself at some point, I was going to have to change my wardrobe too.

I finally pulled out some jeans and a thin shirt, threw them on the bed and headed to the shower. When I got back the screen of my phone was lit up letting me know I had received a new message.

A small troop of butterflies were flapping around my stomach as I opened the message. It was from Edward, a simple ok and smiley face. I smiled at the message and the butterflies flew stronger.

I looked down at my stomach. "Stop it," I said sternly, berating myself for reacting so strongly to a text message.

Before long I was walking into the book exchange and telling myself to just act normal. I saw Edward moving some books around. "Hi, Edward!" I screeched in a voice so high pitched it could have broken glass. It was not a great start to my whole plan of acting normal.

He looked up at me, a blush darkening his cheeks. "Hey, Bella," he said carefully.

That awful tension-filled silence that seemed to always envelope us was creeping in again; I could not let it continue.

"So, I got a call from Jake this morning. He said that a friend of his mother works at a school and they are doing a reading drive, and they need lots of books and he was wondering if you would be interested in doing business with them."

He looked at me in shock. "Are you serious?" he asked.

"Of course I am. I don't know much at the moment but I'm seeing Jake later so I will hopefully get more details soon. Apparently the principle will be visiting in a few weeks to talk to you about stuff. They've asked for a list of teen friendly books that you have or can get hold of... So, are you interested?"

He scoffed. "Of course I am, this is amazing... Thank you so much, Bella. What would I do without you?" he said in awe. His smile, the one that I wanted to put there, was wide. I felt a surge of happiness knowing that it was me who caused the smile.

I blushed and looked away from him. "Well, I did nothing, I'm just passing on the message. So don't thank me too much."

We stared at each other a little longer, and the silence was upon us yet again. Then Edward's face changed, he went from excitement to utter panic.

"Oh god, there is so much to do, I have to finish decorating and sort out the books, and make that list," he said, getting flustered.

"Edward, not you... we. I said I wanted to help here and I will, if you still want me to, that is. This place is going to look fantastic by the time this principle gets here, I promise."

"Bella, of course I want you here, I need you...well...you know...the shop needs you," he said, getting flustered.

Before he could continue I cut him off; it was painful to watch him get so nervous.

"It's ok, Edward, I know what you mean." He sent me a grateful smile, but behind that there was a look of regret, a look that said I didn't understand at all.

"Ok, shall we get started?" I asked.

The rest of the day was spent working as hard as we could, so there was no time for awkwardness or tension-filled silences. We had a goal to work towards, a job to get finished. I was happy for that, it gave us time to process what was going on and for that I was thankful.

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