Secret Santa
Happy Xmas 2007! This a mostly a Konan fic with a bit of Pein, my current favourite characters from Naruto that I like to write on, couldn't resist making my Xmas fanfiction for the year on them : ) This is most likely a couple part piece, it's to long as a whole one shot. Hope you enjoy this piece.
Konan finds a note for her talking about a secret Santa for her this year and thinks it's from Pein. Is it from Pein? Or someone else...?
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"Oh, just shut up and clean!" Barked the white side to the dark half.
"Why don't you do that?" The black half snapped back.
"Because all this blood thing... Was your idea!" The white side continued to snap back.
"Oh! My idea now was it?" Growled the dark part with annoyance. "I didn't see you protesting the idea!"
"I said it wasn't a smart one." The white part reminded. "What girl would like this kind of mess anyway?"
"Well... I thought it would be her. After all she is the most lethal female I've ever met."
"Well 'I' should've thought again. Stupid plan and stupid thought."
"It was worth a try." The black side tried to reason.
"It was a try that nearly got me caught." The white side reminded.
"Ah but didn't, need I remind you." The black part replied, feeling cocky. "If they knew of what we're doing then someone surely would've said or commented something."
"Hmm... Suppose..." Sighed the white part.
"You need to let me relax a little bit more." The black part grunted.
"It's hard to let myself relax, especially with doing this." It replied simply.
"Hmm... Yea I guess... I mean... Is she really worth all this hassle?" The dark side sighed and started to question.
"How can you say that!?" The white side gasped.
"Well is she? I don't really need anyone else. All I need is me, myself and I." He continued.
"Hmm... She's worth it." The white side decided.
"How can you be so sure?" The dark side continued to prod.
"Well, how can you be so sure yourself?" White side snapped back to himself. "If you were so far against her then you wouldn't be doing this."
"Hehehe... No one knows me better than myself. I guess you're correct and got a point." The black side almost laughed. "A man's got need's I guess... And she is the best female I guess that I've ever laid my eye's on."
"Really? I say your part is more of the lust kind."
"So what?" The black part snapped back hastily. "Nothing wrong with lusting after a female."
"Lusting and love are two different things."
"Yea but what is love? It's nothing we, or should I say 'I', really know of."
"And you've never wanted it?"
"No. I haven't felt no need for such a emotion, it's a useless emotion and a emotion that a shinobi can do without." The black side spat in disgust to the thought of that kind of word.
"It's lonely without it though..." The white side finally sighed.
"..." For once the cheeky black part didn't have a response for that comment. It proved that even the black side could feel just as deeply as the other side. Not that he'd ever admit such a thing.
Zetsu had been working in Konan's bathroom for hours now and was still not really any closer to cleaning the stupid thing. Then again he was spending a lot of time arguing with himself, mostly over each others side of feelings. While both differed in thoughts it was clear that both sides felt something for Konan. Whether it was exactly love... They were both unsure.
"Hmm! I don't know about you but I'm feeling fed up." The black side grunted with annoyance.
"With cleaning?" The white part sighed with question.
"You know what I mean?" The dark part continued to grunt.
"No... I don't." The white side snapped back. "But I created this mess so both of us are going to have clean our failed plan."
"Enough about the cleaning!" The dark side snapped.
"...?"
"Just fed up." He continued to snipe. "With her sometimes. It's always Pein this and Pein that with her. What's so damn special about him?"
"Well he is her partner... She's bound to go with him everywhere and such." The white side now tried to reason.
"Yea but at the moment it's only friendship. He wants to make it more, can't believe she hasn't seen it for herself. Pein is so obvious with that look in his eye." He complained.
"Is that the only reason why you want to show interest in her?" The white side asked his black side. "Because the leader has finally decided to see her as more than just a friend?"
"No... I don't know... All I know is on my half I'm feeling jealousy pangs." The black side sighed in defeat. "Why does should he get such a flower? He's nothing special."
"They have known each other virtually all their lives." The white side reminded. "No one has better history than them two."
"History is shit. It doesn't mean you need to get together or develop feelings or anything." The black side snapped back. "More than likely it should just let them have like a brother and sister relationship."
"I don't think their relationship has ever been like a real brother and sister relationship..."
"Then what would you call it?"
"... Hm... Definitely a best friend kind of relationship." The white side pondered. "Hard to say... Their relationship really is on like... Another level. Doesn't really have wording for it. I'm guessing Pein's feelings have just deepened and evolved from that starting point. Took him long enough though."
"Yea, it did. Whenever Konan tried to even show a bit of affection to Pein in the past he didn't really respond in that way. Her feelings were so hurt... I hated him for having to see her like that."
"Ah so you've been paying attention too, huh?" The white side smirked.
"Shut up." The black side frowned at his other half.
"And so you should, anyway. We're one of the oldest members in the Akatsuki, no one else should know the other members better than us." The white side continued.
"Only one of the oldest members." The black side reminded.
"Yea but do any of the others have our skills? None of the others know each other like we do, especially from our 'sneaking' skills." The white one reminded.
"Let's not forget we're better ranked than most of the others here." The black side added with a cocky smirk for himself.
"True." The white side smirked with his other half. He was no real leader of Akatsuki but he was higher than most, most had to report to him and such. However he obviously wasn't high ranked enough to call the Leader by his first name to his face. None of the others really knew the Leader's name but he did. However when talking to Pein himself or any of the other members he wasn't aloud to call him nothing else but the Leader really. Only Konan got the personal privilege to calling him by his real name, Konan got many privileges that the others weren't aloud.
"Well it's obvious isn't it?"
"What is?"
"Who's Pein's favourite."
"Well that's no secret to any of the members. His attitude can be totally different with her and Konan could get away with blue murder with him." The white one replied in a duh voice.
"Ok, Mister Smarty Ass. I've mentioned some of my feelings, what about you then?" The black side prodded.
"Quit talking to me like we're not the same person." The white side snapped.
"We might be in the same body and such but as you know we've both got such massively different views on virtually everything. Have you actually got feelings for this girl? After all, you are supposed to be the much 'nicer' side." The black side countered.
"Well of course I'm having... Feelings for her..." The white side finally sighed. "If you're having feelings for her then I'm going to be having her."
"Mines newish, you?" The black one continued. "I've always respected Konan and such, always liked her."
"I've had strong feelings for her ever since we met..." The white part side sighed.
"But that was many years ago! Why wasn't this discussed!?" The black side started to yell in disbelief.
"I didn't want to." The white side of Zetsu replied simply. "It started out as like a physical attraction alone but... I started liking her more and more for like other reasons..."
"I can't believe we haven't had this discussion before now!" The dark side pouted with amazement.
"Was it just me then? That had a any feelings for her close to the beginning of being in this organisation?" The white side questioned.
"... Not sure..."
"Not sure!"
"Well... I've never been one to discuss feelings and by the looks of it you are the same way." The black half snapped in return. "And what do you mean by 'other reasons'? You like her for more than looks?"
"Ha, not all of us like things because of the way it looks." The white side smirked.
"What else is there?" The black side laughed back, as a joke.
"Fine one you are." The white side continued to smirk back.
"Hmm..."
"I like virtually everything I've seen about her... Those eye's... The stunning and one of a kind shade of blue hair... The way she moves... That firm and blunt voice and stare that she can have... Even the way she says 'Go away, Zetsu, you plant' sounds like music to my ears..." The white part sighed.
"Great..." The black part sighed with annoyance.
"Huh?" The white side pulled a questioning face.
"My other part is losing it!" The black side yelled in frustration.
"Shut up." The white part sneered. "It's better than you're stupid 'lusting'."
"Ha, doubt it. Lusting doesn't make you lose your mind. Besides you say all the those things but doesn't mean you have any real 'love' for her." The dark side shot back.
"I know..." The white part sighed with disappointment. "It could be just a very long long crush or infatuation... Maybe we shouldn't bother the Pein project anymore..."
"Huh?! Why!? Why not!?" The black side screamed at his other half.
"Pein looks like he's truly all for her, like there's no one else out there for him. And we don't seem sincere feelings for her, well maybe me but not you." The white half tried to explain lightly.
"I fed up with Pein! I say we rock his boat for once, instead of letting him have anything and everything! I mean... If you're feelings end up being true could you live with having to put up with seeing her with him all the time and everyday?" The black side tried to reason with the white side.
"Hmm... Hard to say... But Pein's going to be mad at us when he realises..." The white side pointed out.
"I really couldn't care less." The black side hissed.
"But what happens if Konan doesn't like us back? She hasn't given us a indication that she thinks of me as more than a team mate. And quite often she can be a harsh one at that!" The white half continued to raise the warnings of it back firing.
"She'll like us when she really gets to know us, we'll make her like us and..."
"And it's called being really nice to her too." The white side shot.
"What's that supposed to mean?!" The black side sneered.
"Come on. You are so rude and horrid at times."
"Whatever." The black side hissed with annoyance. "I guess... I'd try harder... Not promising anything! But..."
"Good."
"I'll just try and be honest."
"Even that might be a bit to much at times." The white side joked and just received a glare from the other half of the face.
"I can be sweet if I want to be." He snapped back. "So we carrying this thing on?"
"Yea. I guess... You've got a point. I'm sick of seeing Pein having and getting anything and everything he's after. Either that or we'll just let Konan decide..." The white side commented.
"What do mean? You going to tell her right out or something?" The black side questioned in confusion.
"Nope, just continue what we're doing but... Bump it up to maybe tomorrow or something, or whenever the suitable timing comes." The white side replied.
"Plan please." The dark side asked simply.
"Just continue what we've had planned."
"Then how is she going to 'pick'?" The dark half asked, confused.
"Well she just won't know that she's picking." The white half smirked. "We'll beat him to the punch before he can, hopefully might even throw him off."
"Hmm... Not bad."
"And we're NOT forcing anything, understand?" The white side said firmly.
"Forcing? Me?" The dark half joked and smirked.
"Mean it. No means no, if she's not interested then we just leave it." The white sides tone not easing.
"And what? You'd just let her walk away from us? Especially with your side of feelings and all." The dark side gasped.
"I'd rather see her happy than miserable. Especially if my feelings aren't true... I wont know till..."
"... The kiss?..."
"Took the words right out of our mouth..." The white side grinned. "Well I won't know till then..."
"And if it isn't right?"
"Both of us will have to discuss it and if it isn't right... We'll let her go."
"You know what?"
"What?"
"You're getting to soft with your age!" The dark side giving a massive grin.
"Shut up and clean!" Snapped the white side and both got on with clearing up the bathroom.