Chapter 11 - The Morning After
Saturday morning, Alex awoke to find herself fitted against Loki's form, his arm draped around her and his hand gently and possessively placed around her breast. She had not woken up in someone's arms in a few years and yet it felt so familiar, as if this had not been the first time he had spent the night with her. He felt her stir and he pulled her tighter to him, nuzzling his face against the back of her neck.
"Good morning," she said.
"It is indeed," he murmured against her.
"Let me guess. You stayed the night so I could make you breakfast?" she teased.
"I hope you do not mind that I chose to stay," he replied, seriously.
"Not in the least," she said, as she got up to make her way to the bathroom. When she returned, she walked toward her closet.
Loki was lounging on the bed with his back propped against several pillows. "You should never be clothed in my presence," he declared.
Alex snickered and then began to search through the closet for her robe, which was normally hanging from a designated hook on the back of the closet door. After a few minutes of looking practically everywhere, she realized she had not misplaced it. "Loki, may I have my robe back, please?" she demanded.
"Why bother? It will be removed soon enough," he replied with a mischievous grin.
"Yes, but I'd like very much not to burn any of the body parts that you're particularly fond of as I cook you your breakfast," she replied. Her robe immediately appeared on its hook. Smiling, she put it on and walked over to kiss him. He was breathtaking in his nudity, the paleness of his skin providing a stark contrast to the black watch-like device he wore on his wrist.
Realization dawned on Alex and she gasped, "Has that SHIELD agent been out there waiting for you all night?"
"I imagine so," Loki replied. "It is his job, you know, to keep track of my whereabouts."
"Oh, that poor guy! You need to ask him if he wants to join us for breakfast," Alex suggested.
"I will do nothing of the sort!" Loki exclaimed, looking at her as if she had lost her mind.
"Well, you need to at least ask him if he wants me to bring him something to eat while he waits for you."
"Alexandra..." Loki protested.
"I mean it, Loki. You either offer him the chance for breakfast or you can leave without yours," she replied firmly.
For a moment, Loki was too stunned to speak. He wasn't accustomed to anyone issuing ultimatums at him and he could tell that she was completely serious. He pressed a few buttons on the device and a voice immediately responded, "Donovan here."
Loki spoke into the receiver, "Alexandra is concerned that you might be wasting away from hunger. She wants to bring you breakfast."
There was a pause before the disembodied voice responded, "Uh...that would be greatly appreciated."
"Ask him if he needs to use the bathroom," she prodded.
"Do you need use of a lavatory, Agent Donovan?" Loki asked.
"I'm all set," Donovan replied.
"Tell him I'll be down in few with something for him to eat," she said.
Fifteen minutes later, Alex brought down a travel mug of hot coffee and the highly lauded breakfast sandwich to Agent Donovan, who was still parked in front of her building.
"Thank you, Miss Bennett. You really did not have to do this. I could have easily gone through a drive-thru," Donovan said politely.
"Please call me Alex. And it wasn't a problem at all," she replied, her smile warm and engaging.
Donovan felt sure he had been correct in his assessment from earlier in the week that this woman was sweet and so unlike the others Loki typically consorted with whenever he was looking for some company. "Everything going okay up there, Alex?" Donovan asked with genuine concern.
"Everything is going remarkably well, Agent Donovan," she replied, her tone convincing in its sincerity.
"I'm glad to hear it," he commented. "You know you're safe, right? If he even thinks about trying to to hurt you, I'd be there in less than two shakes."
She smiled at him. Donovan looked completely badass, but she saw the kindness in his eyes. He reached over to open up his glove compartment, pulled out a business card and handed it to her. Alex read the name that appeared under the SHIELD insignia that was embossed on the card, Special Agent Bradley Donovan.
Putting the card in her pocket, she said, "I think you and I both know that if I'm going to be hurt by Loki, it won't be the kind you can put a stop to."
Donovan studied her for a moment. "I hope you don't mind me asking, Alex, but is this really something you want to get mixed up in?"
Alex gave a short laugh. "I know it sounds crazy, but I actually like him. And I don't know how to explain it, but somehow I feel like I relate to him." Donovan raised an eyebrow quizzically at her. "Well, except for the part about trying to enslave all of humanity. That part I don't really have a common experience to draw from."
Donovan's mouth cracked a quick smile and then drew back into its standard serious straight line. "Alex, let's be clear. The kind of hurt you are talking about can go both ways, and I'm not sure the Earth is ready to handle what might happen if things don't work out the way he wants them to."
Her eyes widened in surprise. "I think you might be overestimating my place in his world, Agent Donovan. He's just only — and reluctantly, I might add — agreed to become friends. I don't think we need to worry about a threat to mankind over this."
The girl clearly had no clue about the hold she already had over the god, Donovan thought. He considered telling her that Loki had been pining away for her for the better part of the week but then thought better of it. In his experience, it never paid to meddle in other people's affairs, especially when it came to matters if the heart. His duty was to protect the broader citizenry of his country and he was unsure yet of what benefit or damage this newfound relationship might bring upon his charge.
"I'll let you get back to it then," he said.
When Alex returned to her apartment, Loki was in his robe, standing in front of her sofa table looking at all her framed pictures. He looked up at her when she entered and gave her a smile that made her weak in the knees. She had quickly donned on a t-shirt and shorts when she ran out to give the food to Agent Donovan and now felt overdressed. She debated taking everything off and putting her robe back on, but then decided just to proceed with making their breakfast. She knew Loki was salivating over the sandwich she had just made but she was determined to broaden his horizons.
Cutting up the leftover prosciutto from the night before, she threw it in the still hot pan to crisp up. Working with methodical precision, she quickly scrambled together five eggs with just a splash of heavy cream and a few sizeable pieces of goat cheese that she had taken out of the fridge.
"You look just like her," he commented, holding one of the framed pictures that she knew was of her and her mother taken during a trip to the Spoleto Festival in Charleston, South Carolina nearly seven years ago.
"So I've been told," she said, smiling.
"Are you two close?" he asked, setting the frame back in its place.
"We were very close," Alex responded. "That is until she died."
Loki immediately stiffened. "I'm...I'm sorry. I did not know."
"Of course you didn't," Alex replied matter-of-factly. She sliced a few pieces of crusty French bread and wrapped them in tin foil to warm in the oven. Without missing a beat, she said, "She died a little over three years ago from a rare form of lung cancer. It was horrific and heartbreaking and tragic. And the primary reason I left Baltimore to come to New York."
Loki sat down on the sofa and quietly sipped his coffee, unsure of what to say next. Her face was impassive as she began chopping some fresh herbs to add to the egg mixture. The silence in the room had grown awkward, but Alex didn't feel like divulging any details and risk becoming too emotional in front of him. Even after three years, the loss of her mother still cut deep.
"I have firsthand knowledge of what it feels like to lose a mother in a 'horrific and heartbreaking and tragic' way," Loki offered, softly.
Alex's breath caught in her throat. She had forgotten about Frigga and the horrible circumstances surrounding her death. It had been devastating for Alex to watch her mother deteriorate, but at least she knew that every moment shared between them after the diagnosis had been a precious gift. Loki had had no advanced knowledge as to what would happen and, therefore, no way to prepare for the monumental loss.
And in that instant, despite their different backgrounds and biology, their vastly different life experiences and choices, she felt a profound connection to him in their shared tragedy that was far stronger than what had been forged thus far through their mutual lust and loneliness. She looked at him directly in the eyes and said, "It sucks, doesn't it?"
"Indeed," he replied, returning her gaze and holding it. He, too, felt something in that moment, although he could only liken it to misery loving company. It felt different, being able to acknowledge his grief with someone other than Thor or Dr. Chase. The widening of this circle suddenly made him feel less alone in the world and even more drawn to her than before.
The somber mood dissipated as Alex poured the egg mixture into the pan with the prosciutto and began stirring it over the heat, trying to achieve the perfect consistency. Loki had no idea what she was specifically doing with the food, but he enjoyed watching her and seeing the look of concentration on her face as she happily engaged in the task.
Once she had everything arranged on the table, she called him over and almost burst out laughing when she saw the look of disappointment on his face as he sat down and did not see his beloved sandwich. She put her arms around him and kissed the top of his head, reassuring him that it would be alright. And as she suspected he might, he ended up greatly enjoying this version of scrambled eggs. This time there were no leftovers and before she could say a word, he vanished everything into the dishwasher. She removed the pan so that she could wash it by hand, explaining to him that high quality pots and pans needed to be hand washed. He humored her by listening, but he was certain that the information she was distilling would have no bearing on his life whatsoever.
"Do you want to go anywhere today?" she asked as she placed the wet pan in the drying rack. It was overcast outside and looked like a thunderstorm was imminent. She hoped that he wanted to stay put because she loved nothing more than curling up with a good book during a rainstorm.
"There is nowhere I would rather be than here with you," he replied with complete sincerity.
Try as hard as she might, she could not contain her sheer joy at his words and beamed brightly at him. "I could really get used to that silver tongue of yours," she said.
"Yes, you were very vocal in your admiration of it last evening," he noted, grinning wickedly. He watched her cheeks turn pink and and chuckled in a low rumble that she felt rather than heard.
After selecting a book on ancient Roman civilization from her shelf, Loki settled himself on the sofa and began leafing through the pages. She brought them both a fresh cup of coffee and sat down next to him, leaning against the arm of the couch and bringing her legs up and over his lap as if it was something they did every day. Instead of feeling the need to gain distance from the air of familiarity their positions implied, Loki unconsciously began to stroke her leg while he read.
"Do you mind if I put in some music?" she asked. He shook his head and she connected her phone to her Bluetooth speakers, selecting a mellow playlist and adjusting the volume so that it served more as background filler. The thunderstorm began rolling in and the heavy droplets of rain began pelting the windows in staccato bursts as the wind surged. The sound of it was so soothing to her and she took a sip of coffee, basking in how right everything was in that moment.
Loki glanced up from his book to observe her. She was lost in her own thoughts and looked as comfortable and relaxed as he felt. It surprised him that the mundane brought him so much contentment. There had always been so much drama and action in his life and he had come to believe that it was what he craved and needed to feel fulfilled. And yet, here in this apartment that had no walls, with nothing more than the sound of the rain and some soft music in the background, as he sat casually entwined with a woman who had no special powers nor royal lineage, he felt more whole than he had since he was a young boy when the innocence of childhood had enveloped him and filled him with the hope of all that could be.
Alex began reading from a novel that she had started a week earlier, alternating her attention from the story line to the careful study of Loki's perfectly arranged facial features. She contemplated the surreal situation she found herself in — that stretched out beside her on the sofa was an actual god who had only just moments before declared that there was nowhere else he would rather be than here with her. And though they had spent a grand total of less than 48 cumulative hours together, every expression and gesture shared between them felt so natural and unforced to her.
There didn't seem to be the need to fill the time with words, although every once in a while they would converse about different random things. Alex learned that, unlike his brother, Loki did not have much of a sweet tooth; he read several books from start to finish every single day with a speed that would put Evelyn Wood to shame; and that he was a huge fan of the Game of Thrones TV series but thought True Blood was ridiculous and nothing more than vampire themed porn. Loki, in return, discovered that Alex had a great affinity towards vampire themed porn; she detested most performance art, whatever that was, but loved all forms of performing arts; and that she had sang the lead role of Sandy in her high school musical which was some bizarre story involving lightning that was greasy and pink colored ladies.
On occasion throughout the day, their conversations would evolve into the more intimate physical interactions that they both constantly craved. He could tell that she was tender and sore from their previous activities during the past two nights and refused to give in to her demands for harder and faster, instead taking the opportunity to teach her the pleasures of slow and deliberate. He whispered, "Alexandra, this way can be good too." And it was. So. Very. Good.
It was early evening and the rain had stopped, although the sky remained overcast. She was laying in bed with her head on his chest, feeling so sated and replete from his attentions when she announced that she would not be cooking dinner and was instead ordering take-out. She kissed away his childish pout and ran through the list of nearby restaurants that delivered. They settled on Chinese and debated over whether to ask Agent Donovan if he wanted food as well. In the end, Alex won and Loki contacted Donovan, per her request. To his relief, the agent elected to go through a drive-thru, and Loki took the opportunity to remind Alex that if Donovan could be tasked with keeping watch over a powerful Asgardian prisoner, then he certainly could fend for himself when it came to securing food.
Thirty minutes after Alex had called Yen Ching's and placed their order, she dressed again in the shorts and t-shirt she had on earlier and ran down to the lobby to collect their food from the delivery person. When she returned to her apartment, she was surprised when she saw Loki was redressed in his suit from the previous night.
The look of disappointment was apparent on her face as she set the paper cartons of food out on the table. Reverting to form from a past that she had yet to let go of, insecurity began to gnaw away at her insides as she ran through a familiar litany of questions. Was he bored with her already? Had she done something to make him want to leave? Was he going to see someone else? Although he had done nothing to give her reason to assume any of those things, she was unable to do anything but immerse herself in self-doubt and speculation.
"I regret that I won't be able to stay the night, Alexandra. I have an early morning engagement tomorrow," he said. Loki noticed that her mood had changed dramatically and that she now refused to look him in the eye as she brought plates and utensils to the table.
"It's probably a good thing that you need to leave," she replied, trying to sound nonchalant. "I've got a million things I should be doing, and you can be quite the distraction." Without inviting him to join her as she usually did, she sat down at the table and began opening the containers.
Loki sat down across from her and studied her face. "Are you upset with me?" he finally asked when she made no further attempt to engage with him.
Without stopping to look at him, she replied, "What is there to be upset about? You need to leave and I have things to do."
Loki frowned for a moment before understanding dawned upon him. "Alexandra, I can't stay the night because I fear it would be impossible to leave in the morning after waking up next to you again."
She froze. Damn, but he knew how to say just the right thing, she thought. She looked into his eyes to try to gauge the truthfulness in his words.
"I... I assumed you were getting bored," she admitted.
"You were incorrect in your assumption," he stated, his tone hinting at his mounting irritation.
"I have a tendency to think the worst," she said, unable to look him in the eye. She took a pair of wooden chopsticks out of the bag and broke them apart.
"In light of all I have willingly shared with you about myself, perhaps I deserve being given the benefit of the doubt," he remarked.
"Agreed." She was embarrassed and didn't know what else to say. Thankfully, Loki felt no need to belabor the point. She handed him a set of chopsticks and got up to grab a bottle of wine from the refrigerator.
"You look a bit overdressed for Chinese take-out," she commented, trying to change the subject as she selected a bottle of Chardonnay. "Don't you have any casual clothes to zap yourself into?"
"Not really," he replied. "I prefer to dress this way. If I have the need to be more casual, then I simply take off the jacket." He saw that she was struggling a bit with the bottle opener and flicked his fingers to release the cork. Aside from genuinely wanting to help her, it amused him to watch her jump whenever she was startled by his magic.
"Right. Well, what do you wear if you're just lounging around at your place?" she asked as she handed him a glass of wine and sat back down at the table.
"Pajamas or my robe," he responded.
"Let me guess — silk pajamas," she offered as she scooped some steamed rice onto her plate and covered it with Kung Pao Chicken.
"And your point is what exactly?" he asked. He reached for an egg roll and a packet of hot mustard.
"You're just a bit… buttoned up, that's all. Even when you're lounging. Where do you shop for your clothes anyway?"
"I don't," he replied as he put several spoonfuls of Mongolian Beef onto his plate. "I have a stylist who does it all for me."
"A stylist?!" she exclaimed, her eyes growing wide. She had never before met anyone who actually had a personal stylist at their disposal.
"Yes. Stark arranged it because he said Thor and I couldn't walk around Midgard in our normal 'conspicuous' Asgardian attire. And of course, neither of us knew enough about your fashion norms to choose anything suitable on our own. So he brought us Serge."
"And this Serge never thought to hook you up with casual clothes?" she asked in between bites of food.
"He tried," Loki responded as he pulled a few pieces of Kung Pao chicken out of the container. Alex noticed that he was exceptionally adept with his chopsticks and wondered how that could be. "I don't particularly care for the denim and t-shirt ensembles that Stark and my brother tend to favor, so this is what I choose to wear when out in public."
"Well, we've got to find you a better compromise. You can't exactly go around wearing a stuffy suit if you're going somewhere like Coney Island or Yankee Stadium for example."
"I would never even contemplate going to such places," he replied, his nose wrinkled in disdain.
"Seriously? Loki, you are a complete snob. How can you even judge something before experiencing it first?" she admonished as he rolled his eyes at her.
"Regardless, you need some clothes for less formal occasions." Her face suddenly brightened. "Maybe I can help!" Loki grimaced at the notion. "I don't mean make you go shopping with me. I'm thinking maybe I could show you some pictures from a magazine or something and you can decide what you think is acceptable. You can still have Serge purchase everything for you."
"Fine," he said dismissively. He didn't give a damn about how overdressed he appeared in whatever social situation he encountered. Dressing the way that he did made him feel superior and more refined in contrast to the lowly mortals he was forced to interact with on a daily basis. But her tone hinted at some degree of excitement in helping him select his apparel and, if such an insignificant act of acquiescence could bring her a bit of delight, then he wished to give in to her request.
"So what about back home? What does a Prince of Asgard typically wear during an average day? " she asked when she was satisfied there was nothing more than a few peanuts drowning in the spicy sauce left in its paper container. She began scavenging through the other container but found only an overabundance of wide-sliced green onions floating in the sweet brown sauce.
Loki took a sip of wine. "Our style of dress is far more... arresting than the fashions seen here on Midgard. My casual attire on Asgard is not that much different than my formal attire. I only need the addition of a cape and my helm and I am instantly ready for a formal gathering."
"Hmmm. I've seen your signature helmet. What's up with that anyway? If I didn't have the benefit of personal experience, I would think you were overcompensating for some sort of shortcoming," she chuckled.
"Do. Not. Make. Fun. Of. The. Helm. Ever." Loki's response was delivered in the most serious of tones and with the harshest of glares, and he was at a complete loss as to why it only elicited a fit of giggles from her. "Alexandra," he sputtered in irritation. "It is a head covering designed to incite fear and obedience amongst my subjects. The mere sight of it should command respect and reverence."
"On Asgard maybe, but definitely not here!" She knew he was speaking in earnest, but she was unable to stifle the chortle that escaped her mouth. As she regained her composure, she glanced over at him and saw that he was beside himself with frustration. He looked so utterly miserable and she began to feel guilty that her teasing had wound him up so.
"Don't mind me," she said gently. "I...I'm sure it's quite imposing. I just have a tendency to rebel against anything that implies authority. "
Loki's countenance softened. "I have an issue with authority as well."
"I'd say that's quite the understatement," she replied, winking at him. She could see that he was no longer irate with her. "So. Show me an Asgardian version of casual wear," she requested.
Loki stood and flashed himself into an outfit consisting primarily of form-fitted black leather with inlaid metal accents. Alex was rendered momentarily speechless as he turned in a slow circle so that she could take in the full view of his attire. The intricately detailed ensemble conveyed a refined yet bold masculinity that only further accentuated the commanding presence and regal bearing he characteristically displayed. She wouldn't have thought it possible prior to seeing him dressed like this that he was capable of exuding even more sex appeal than before, but there it was. And she was floored.
"Wow. I mean...just...wow. You look really, really good in that," she stammered. "But is that even comfortable?"
"I find it to be very comfortable," he replied, sitting back down at the table.
"Can you wear this the next time we're alone together?" she requested, running her hand along one of his sleeves to feel the texture of the leather.
"So, you like this?" he queried with a sly grin, knowing full well that she liked it very much.
"Ummm...yeah. Just a bit. Will you show me how to take it off of you?" she replied in a voice she hoped sounded seductive rather than desperate.
Loki let out a deep laugh and reached for her hand. "Alexandra, the longer I stay with you the harder you make it for me to leave. So that brings us to the topic of my next visit since I am not allowed to just show up at your door whenever the mood strikes."
She was pleased that he had taken their conversation to heart and gave his hand a squeeze. "Tomorrow's not so good for me because I really do have quite a few things to take care of and Monday night I'm going out for Happy Hour with Jane and Jillian. How does your Tuesday look?"
"I have a function organized by Stark that I am required to attend to on Tuesday evening."
"Well, I've got yoga on Wednesday night. How about Thursday?"
"Thursday evening we return to Asgard," he replied somberly, letting go of her hand. He began slowly running his finger around the rim of his wine glass.
"You're not staying at least through Friday?" she asked, her voice laced with disappointment.
"Not this time. Thor and I have some Asgardian matters that require our attention sooner rather than later."
"When will you be back?"
"In two weeks time," he replied.
"Wednesday night after yoga, I have a couple errands I need to run but I could call you afterwards?"
"I do not have a mobile communication device," he responded matter-of-factly.
"Well, how am I supposed to get in touch with you?" she asked.
"Perhaps you could contact Agent Donovan?" he offered.
"Loki, he's not your personal secretary," she said with irritation.
"What else does he have to do?" Loki retorted. "When I'm not out somewhere I have no idea what the man does with his time. I'm sure he could take your phone call."
Alex glared at him. "I'm not at all comfortable with that. I think the man deserves some respect. I guarantee he's not thrilled with having to be your babysitter either. If you had your own cell phone, I could text you or call you. It wouldn't be intrusive because you could just check it at your convenience. It certainly would make arranging things between us so much easier," she pointed out.
Loki was unconvinced. "I don't want yet another thing to have to carry in my pocket," he grumbled. "It's bad enough that I have to carry this leather case that holds your forms of currency as well as my identification — as if people don't already know who I am."
"Look, it serves as a mini computer too. You can put all kinds of information in there like appointment dates and other important things you don't want to forget," she offered.
"I have no need for reminders," Loki snorted. "I remember everything I read or hear."
"Oh really," she said, folding her arms across her chest and looking at him skeptically. "Tell me about where I come from and I don't mean just the name of the city."
Loki sighed, leaned back and crossed his long legs at the ankles. "You originally hail from Baltimore, which is in the state of Maryland. You lived there for most of your life in the same house, except for when you went to college and lived on campus. For both your undergraduate and graduate degrees, you attended Johns Hopkins University, which according to you is a very prestigious institution of higher education. You lived a three hour drive from the Atlantic Ocean and you would spend a significant portion of your adolescent summers on the beach because your best friend's family owned a secondary residence there." He crossed his arms in turn, gave her a look of smug satisfaction and asked, "Have I passed your test yet?"
Alex stared at him for a moment, open-mouthed. She got up and grabbed her phone off of the coffee table and returned to stand behind him. Leaning down so that her face was near his, she took a selfie with him in the frame. She showed him the photo of the two of them and he grabbed the phone from her to study the image closer. Her beautiful face held a playful smile while he simply looked bewildered. He saw, too, that she had held up two curved fingers behind his head, no doubt impishly trying to mock his helm. He realized then, that he wanted a photograph of her that was his own. Because even though his brain had memorized every single detail and nuance of her face, he wanted to be able to call up an actual image of her to view whenever he wanted. He would consider procuring the handheld electronic device she was suggesting for such a purpose, he decided.
"Let me take a better one where you're not surprised," she said as she took the phone and raised it to take another shot. This time he smiled and the resulting photo of him was breathtaking. Alex was ecstatic that she would have this to look at in his absence. As she considered the image carefully, she decided she didn't look half bad either considering she had no make-up on and her hair was an unruly mess.
This was the way Loki liked her best and he felt she looked simply stunning. He knew he had had a hand in why her hair looked wild with abandon and why her lips were plump and swollen, and this was the way he always wanted to see her. "I want this image. How do I get it?" he demanded.
She kissed his cheek and replied, "Get yourself a cell phone and I'll text it to you."
He knew that in the end he would capitulate. It was becoming a habit for him when it came to her and it was concerning only in that it actually drove very little concern for him. The need to win at all costs didn't even register for him when she was near and he felt more inclined to give her the satisfaction of the smaller victories whenever possible. How was she always able to bend him to her will without the use of magic, Loki wondered. Donovan had been correct the other evening when he had said that women were a complete mystery.