To Tell or Not to Tell?
Nicks mind raced through breakfast as he asked himself why he didn't just tell, he could, yeah he'd been threatened but what could Jeff do from prison?
But then he looked up and Jeff really didn't seem so bad. He had used a lube and had been relatively gentle. Nick had been unable to move, Jeff had complete control and do whatever he wanted, but he hadn't been rough.
Nick stopped his train of thought.
No, you've been raped. violent or not.
But had he. Yes Jeff had forcible sex with Nick but he really liked Jeff, he had spent so many hours daydreaming that Jeff would spontaniosly return his feelings and want him
Maybe my dream has manifested into a nightmare.
Nick knew he was just making excuses for the tall blonde and as messed up as it seems, even after everything he still didn't want to lose his best friend. They had been through everything together and Nick still saw Jeff as the Jeff he had always known not this monster that inhabiting his body. He tried to rationalise that maybe Jeff thought he fantasized about rape or that he wanted to be dominated.
Nick really didn't have many options and they all ended in a way he didn't want.
He could tell and Jeff would go to prison. He'd lose his best friend and have the shame of everyone knowing he was raped.
He could tell and people wouldn't believe him, he'd be stuck with Jeff or Jeff could kill him in a fit of rage, and either way he'd lose all his friends and everybody would think he was a liar.
Or he could not tell anybody and be stuck with this weird Jeff forever or Jeff would kill him. He'd be stuck in an abusive relationship and be forced o bring children into that situation.
He could not tell and Jeff may just go back to normal but Nick would never be able to see him the same again.
Nothing will ever be the same again.
Nick was hit with a wave of nausea as he thought of his options and everything he was losing, not only his virginity but his mind. He looked to his friends, sitting and laughing and wondered who he'd even tell.
Trent? He was a close friend but a gossip who just couldn't help himself.
Wes? Would send him straight to the cops. Nick didn't think he'd ever be able to sit with total strangers and discuss what had happened, especially not if it meant Jeff going to prison.
David would run straight to Wes
He wondered what advice Thad would give him, he was much more invested in the warblers then even Wes and Jeff was warbler royalty because he was the dancer. Thad wouldn't risk losing him for anything.
He continued his deduction of his friends suitability to be told about last nights incident and he came up with no one. He couldn't think of one friend who would listen patiently and just let him vent and decide what to do.
He felt so trapped as his mind flipped from one decision to the other but by the end of breakfast he had decided.
I'm going to tell Kurt.
Kurt had been kind so far and Nick found him to be the easiest to relate to. They both came from a family where being gay had not been as easily accepted as others, they both had experienced violent bullying for their sexuality and Kurt seemed generally concerned about everybody.
Nick looked up and turned, to stare straight into Jeff's. He swallowed thickly. Jeff wasn't going to make this easy.