-1Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, made by a fan. Blast it, this is a fanfic, nothing else!
Phase Ten: First Confession, Second Thoughts, Third Lie
"Come on, you don't mean that!" a particularly loud brunette girl was saying to her friend that balmy morning. Haruhi was on her way to the classroom and she overheard two girls talking in alternating hushed and low voices.
"I do mean it," replied the girl's companion. She had mid-length jet-black hair and wore designer glasses. "Love for me is two vowels, two consonants, two fools. It's nothing but a product of our body's chemical processes so that we could procreate and populate this dying planet with our garbage and progeny."
"You're so cynical, Aki-chan," said the loud girl, her voice greatly lowered by now as she pondered what her friend said. "You think of everything as if…as if there's nothing good in this world."
"There rarely is I'm afraid, Tomoyo-chan" said Aki-chan, sighing deeply. "Do you know the adage, 'There is rest for the wicked while the ones with a conscience toss and turn'?"
"I think you phrased that badly, Aki-chan," replied Tomoyo-chan, sweat-dropping.
"Whatever, but my point is that love is nothing more than overblown lust," continued Aki. "The reason that there are couples whose relationships last is because their genes had made it so. According to research, there is a gene within our DNA that determines whether our current partner is a good match for us or not. If it's not, we head to divorce courts or the breaking-up scene. If it is, we live blissfully wedded lives, unknowing that this was all programmed on us from the start. So there is some credibility in the sayings 'made for each other' or 'destined to be together' you know? Basically, it's all a matter of chance. It's like a lottery, really, for us to find one that we are genetically compatible to. It's rare, but it does happen. I'm realistic enough to know that it's not going to happen to me with the way my luck is running. "
"It amazes me how you could boil down millennia of human emotions into a single, short paragraph," said Tomoyo, shaking her head, unbelieving of her friend.
"That's what I do best," answered Aki, ignoring the underlying sarcasm. "So you can tell Mr. My-Family-Owns-The-Biggest-Chain-Of-Fast-Food-Restaurants-In-Japan that I am not interested in him because I know that we are not biologically partnered for one another. If he'd like, I'll give him a dissertation of the matter."
"Your family owns one of the biggest restaurant chains in the world," sighed Tomoyo. "Even I would think it's a perfect match."
"And here I thought you were the romantic. I'm talking about biology, you're talking about business compatibility! Sure, if I marry him our businesses would merge and grow even bigger. But I am simply not interested."
"Still, I think that love is too complex for any science to understand. It's simply there. It's magical and wonderful; oh, Aki! To feel that you're in love and for someone to love you equally, if not more as well! Heaven tripled!"
"Well, I'm happy for you and Mr. Biggest-Company-Of-Textiles-In-Japan. You might be genetically destined then. Good for you! You'll make a nice load of babies. I get to be godmother of your first-born!"
Tomoyo blushed to the roots of her hair. "Aki-chan! We just started dating and you're thinking of us having babies? He also has a name: Fujimori Hatori."
"Mrs. Tomoyo Fujimori. Hmmm…has a nice ring to it."
"So does Mrs. Aki Narumi!"
"Shut up!"
"You started it!"
Their voices faded in the distance for Haruhi's ears, yet she can't quite forget about what they said. Aki's right. It's all about our chemical processes when it comes down to it. Haruhi frequently checked the latest science magazines supplied in the school library. (They have over five thousand magazines, supplied daily, weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, yearly, etc. and in any language you care to read. Most of the magazines are direct from the presses and are displayed in the shelves even before they hit the shops. They even have a collection of manga.) She read about an article in the February issue of Time magazine and it's just what Aki said. Aki must have read that article too.
Haruhi sighed. She was also getting cynical. Then again, accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. George Bernard Shaw. Haruhi enjoyed the rendition of one of his plays in the school theatre one time. It was about girl called Eliza and getting her to be a lady…
Haruhi suddenly wanted to laugh loudly. Ah, the irony of things for her to think of a play where the heroine would be taught how to become more lady-like. If the club had watched that, they would force the same tactics on her. Now that reminded her of one of the many mangas she had read to Kirimi Nekozawa. Four handsome guys making a goth girl into the perfect woman…. Actually, Haruhi quite enjoyed it, though the notion of changing yourself just because a relative demanded it was quite beyond her.
Haruhi sat down in her seat, arranging her books for the day. Hikaru and Kaoru weren't there yet. Haruhi savored the few moments where she could be alone without someone asking her if she was all right or if she needed anything.
As much as she appreciated all the thoughtfulness, it was getting tiresome. For crying out loud, she did not need a whole basin of ootoro sushi to perk up! Though secretly, it really helped…but only her hunger pangs, not the other kind of pain in her heart.
Haruhi thought back to her proposal to Tamaki. She didn't know where that came from, really. But she guessed that it was all borne from bitterness. She was not too apathetic of her situation not to think that way. It was just precaution. It wasn't really a proposal as much as insurance.
She wanted to laugh out loud at how absurd her life has become. Her friends as insurance. What next, she had to sign a policy and not use them to have her premiums?
No, they're her friends. It was wrong to think of them as just back-up. It's not fair to them or to her. She had to explain things to Tamaki. Judging from the reaction of the pure idiot, he must have thought that it was a real proposal.
This was all too much trouble. Dear mother in heaven, if it weren't only for my desire to reach out to you….
…
"What have you called me for today, Father?" asked Tamaki as he sat in his elegant way in the velvet-and-silk chair in front of his father's desk. Yuzuru had called for him during lunch time and it really ticked him off. He had much rather be by Haruhi's side right now, enjoying lunch with her and doing wedding plans.
Tamaki could hardly believe it! His daughter was his forever! She need never leave his side if they were to marry! But wait…this was wrong in some way. Isn't this incest? He was supposed to protect her…. No, this is right. He's protecting her from any other man.
That's right, weep you silly fools. Haruhi is mine now!
He wanted to laugh maniacally but he reminded himself that he was in his father's office. He shifted in his seat, the only indication that his mind was on other matters besides the meeting.
"There is something that I need to tell you," said Suoh impatiently. "It's important and could determine the future of the Suoh zaibatsu so listen carefully."
Tamaki, who had since long ago decided to take more interest in the company, straightened up.
"I have received news that Ootori Yoshio had practically ordered his youngest son, your friend Kyouya Ootori to have Fujioka Haruhi agree to his marriage proposal on the day of his eighteenth birthday for Kyouya-san to be able to inherit the Ootori zaibatsu," began Yuzuru. Tamaki just stared at his father in shock, and to keep things not so dramatic by flowery descriptions of Tamaki's inner theatre, let's just say that he became essentially an empty shell. Yuzuru mistook this for interest so he continued, "However, I have also set my eyes in you having to marry Miss Fujioka so this is completely unacceptable. Your grandmother is against this, as Miss Fujioka is not of noble birth but I had managed to get out of her high handed ways. I want you to take Miss Fujioka for yourself and make sure that she is to be the perfect bride in your grandmother's eyes."
"Wait a minute!" Tamaki yelled, snapping out of his trance. "Hold the udon!"
"Hold the what? Is this another GTO reference?"
"GTO?"
"Never mind. Continue."
"First of all, I did not know that Kyouya asked Haruhi to marry him, much less of this hare-brained scheme of yours! If I am to marry Haruhi I want it not to be borne of a business transaction but because I have genuine feelings for her! She's utterly perfect the way she is and I won't change her just to please anybody. If they can't see how adorable she really is, then they're people not worth dealing with. I'm appalled you'd ask me something like this!"
"Is that your answer?" said Suoh, unfazed at his son's outburst.
"Yes, it is."
"Good. I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. Never marry for money, rule number one in happy relationship. Or you might just end up in a divorce court, bitter and one billion yen poorer out of alimony. Also, draw up prenuptials." Suoh smiled at his son. It was a rare sight for Tamaki.
"Do you love Miss Fujioka?"
"What kind of father asks their son that?"
"Just answer the question."
"Well…I see her as my daughter and I would do anything to take care of her."
Suoh laughed. "Though your perception of your own feelings is warped, I'm happy for you. But please, make an old man happy and marry her. I want smart and beautiful grandchildren. Maybe that would make your grandmother frown less and less. Oh, I almost forgot, there is a party for the merging of the Ootori Pharmaceutical business and the Jansen Group of America in two weeks. Do bring Miss Fujioka there, would you? It would be good for society to meet her as a future Suoh." He didn't have to add that by then they should have been engaged. Tamaki got it all clearly, which was a miracle considering his rapidly decreasing capability to read between many lines, most of those about his own love life.
Tamaki stood up and opened the door. "You don't need to tell me that I have to marry her. Because I will." He closed the door behind him.
For a moment, all Yuzuru could do was blink. Then he chuckled, then it turned into a full-blown laugh.
"Teenagers these days! So unpredictable!"
But marry for love, son. That's the only lesson I could truly teach you. I made the mistake of marrying for money and connections. And now, it's brought you into a mess you're innocent of.
He closed his eyes, willing himself not to feel overwrought about this whole affair. Once again, he was letting his son pay for all of his mistakes. He was a terrible father.
I'm sorry, Tamaki. I wonder if you or your mother could ever forgive me.
…
"Stupid old man," grumbled Tamaki as he made his way back to his lessons. Lunch period was over and he hadn't eaten his lunch yet. "How dare he order me around? And look at what he cost me?! A lunch date with my dear Haruhi!" The famed interrobang strikes again!
The bell rang through the spacious Edwardian halls, signalling the fourth period, Japanese History. It was one of his favourite subjects so he just sighed and trekked his way back to the classroom, which considering from the distance to Point A (which was where he was now, in the Administrative Building where his father's offices were) to Point B (his classroom, which was in another building two gardens across) was quite a leap. Ah well. It was Miss Tamagochi anyway and he could just tell that he was in a meeting with the Supervisor.
Honestly, Tamaki couldn't understand why his father always told him to call him 'Superintendent' when in the school and during the rare times when he would pop by the second mansion, presumably to check things over, Tamaki was still told to call him Superintendent. Unknown to him, it was Yuzuru's way of teasing his son. Yuzuru adored his son, more so because of the fact that he looked so much like his mother and had his personality. In short, he was the embodiment of the best of both parents. And Yuzuru loved him for it.
It was a shame, therefore, that his own grandmother couldn't learn to appreciate him. In a way, maybe she did, but that was covered up by the fact that she just couldn't bear the idea of the scandal that broke throughout the financial world because of what Yuzuru did in having an affair and bringing Tamaki into the world; she only saw what good Tamaki could do for their business, nothing else. She hated the idea of how he was conceived but not the idea of him being into the world. On the other hand, Yuzuru's first wife couldn't bear children at all so it was a blessing in disguise that Yuzuru couldn't keep his--for lack of a better word in the sense of propriety--affairs to his pants.
Tamaki reached his classroom in time and as he stepped in, rose in hand, ready to apologize to the teacher, an unexpected sight welcomed him.
Kyoya was standing by the blackboard, translating a difficult line from a Tokugawa-period manuscript.
"Kyoya! What are you…?!" The rose fell to the floor.
Kyoya smiled at Tamaki and for the first time since they became friends, it more than hinted at frostiness.
"Tamaki, why are you so late?" Kyoya asked as he put the chalk down. He faced their instructor. "Is this translation correct, Sensei?"
"As expected of you, Ootori-sama," applauded the teacher as Kyoya went back to his seat. "Excellent work. Ah, Suoh-sama, please go to your seat. Classes started ten minutes ago. I was informed of your meeting, so please don't worry about it. Now please turn your books to page one hundred fifty-three and we shall discuss the language during the Kofun era and the Asuka period, during which the Yamato court has now accepted Buddhism…."
Tamaki staggered to his seat, staring at Kyoya all the way, wondering what he was doing back.
"Kyoya…what are you doing here?" whispered Tamaki as he went on the pretext of opening his book to the desired page.
"Isn't it obvious?" Kyoya said calmly, jotting down key points in his notebook. "This is school. I came here to learn. Now please shut up so I can listen to sensei. This is coming in our tests; I want to be prepared."
"Don't you dare wiggle your way out of this," hissed Tamaki, determined to have the final word. "You have a lot of explaining to do."
Kyoya just smirked secretly, seething inside.
…
The club was still closed, much to the chagrin of its patrons. They started to complain to the members, Tamaki in particular, but the only explanation they could give was that they were having technical difficulties.
"Kyoya, care to explain now?" asked Tamaki. The whole club was assembled in a large table, quietly sipping teas or in Honey's case, breathing in cakes.
"What's there to explain?" fired back Kyoya who in rare occasion was not obsessed with figures, jotting down in his omnipresent folder but drinking his Earl Grey with a sardonic expression on his face. Haruhi, who was seated across from him was the same: unaffected and calm.
"For starters, what happened the other night between you and Haruhi," shot Hikaru angrily.
"Hikaru…" said Kaoru, afraid that his irate brother would throw something at their senior.
Kyoya sighed and put down in his cup gently on the bone china saucer. "I cannot elaborate on the matter, as it is between me and Haruhi. If I may have her permission, I shall tell you all of it gladly."
"What do you need my permission for?" said Haruhi, speaking up for the first time since she saw Kyoya in the Third Music Room. "It's not necessary to keep it a secret anymore."
Kyoya smiled and if one would look clearly, it had a hint of bitterness in it. "Of course. Now, my father asked me for a favor--it was an order, to be exact, that I would present to the world a fiancée by my eighteenth birthday or lose the inheritance to the Ootori zaibatsu altogether. I have no women in mind and I must confess that I had panicked and of course, chose Haruhi which would have been very logical at that time. I asked Haruhi about it, and we came to an agreement. She would pose as my girlfriend for the time being and see if it could lead to the altar. However, my father found a suitable fiancée for me: a Miss Guinevere Jansen of the Jansen Pharmaceutical Group. It would be a far more fortuitous match so I told Haruhi of it, and now I just need to hear her answer whether she's fine by it or not." It wasn't exactly lying but it was far more acceptable than the truth.
Shock--for some--greeted this revelation.
"As I said, why would you need my permission to do it?" said Haruhi. "It was just a temporary deal between you and me. In any case, a month's courtship is just far too short for a life's commitment."
"I agree with you," said Kyoya.
"Wait, this is it?" burst Hikaru, unable to take it. "In the first place, why didn't you tell us? Are we not that trust worthy?"
"I think it would have been better if you two have given us an inkling that this was happening," spoke up Honey softly.
"If you were involved, do you think that Haruhi and I could have gone with everything like a couple as intended?" inquired Kyoya logically. "Please think about it. Haruhi and I couldn't even start. But it's all over now; it's past us. So I suggest that we open up the club again. Some of our customers are already beginning to be irate and insist that we open up shop or break down our doors with sledgehammers."
"I just have one thing to ask," intoned Tamaki. "Are you two all right with this?"
"Why wouldn't we be?" answered Kyoya and Haruhi perfunctorily at the same time.
Tamaki sighed. "Then that's all we need to know. Kyoya, I trust that you've kept everything up to date. We open tomorrow and it want it to be grand as an apology for our disappointed customers!" He was in King mode now. In the end, it was the Club that held his attention for so long.
"Don't worry about that," reassured Kyoya. "Given that we haven't opened in a while, our customers have taken to buying most of merchandise in the web shop until we're almost completely sold-out in everything. We have appropriate funds for whatever you care to be our theme for tomorrow. Now, I must ask you all a favor. I wish to speak to Haruhi alone. Please don't worry, it won't be like last time. I grant you full permission to disturb me in my sleep for any of your illogical schemes this one time."
"No way! We can't let you--!" began Kaoru but Tamaki interrupted.
"Let's go, you guys," he said softly, standing up. "Let's allow them their privacy. Besides, Kyoya's promise is more than enough compensation for this."
They all shuffled outside but stayed by the door, their ears pressed against the oak doors.
…
"Haruhi, I just want to say that I am truly sorry that this happened," began Kyoya, wanting to get it all out of the way. God, just staring at her made him want to stand up and slam her to the table and take her then and there without any thought of the future. With immense difficulty, he controlled his baser urges and tried to appear cool and collected as is his host personality.
"If I were to be honest with myself, I am also kind of disappointed," admitted Haruhi. "Because of this, I saw Hong Kong, stayed in a hotel, enjoyed Disneyland…it wasn't really that bad. Actually, I want to thank you for all you've done. Even if it was for other reasons than I would have liked, it was still a great opportunity for me. I really thank you."
Kyoya could just stare at her. If it were possible, he loved her even more that moment. Her serene air of acceptance drove him crazy but he adored this trait of hers.
"I see," he said finally. "I thought that this would be a problem, but it isn't. I also want to thank you for the fact that you even agreed to do it and made me feel somewhat happy that I could be someone more to you than a friend. You're the first female to make me feel that way. This is not a confession or anything like that, but all the same, if I would take a wife, I hoped it would be someone like you. I had fun while I was with you."
"I thought you have Guinevere now. It's time that you have fun with her as well as she's going to be your wife, isn't she? You told me that whoever it is you'll end up marrying, you'll cherish her for the rest of your life, right? And why couldn't we still have fun together? We're friends; we could still go on trips, even if it's with the whole club and enjoy each other's company. Nothing really changed at all. To be honest, though, I was quite shocked about you telling me that you're now engaged to Miss Jansen that it hit me like a ton of bricks. But now, I came to gradually accept that. I don't want to ever change us being friends."
Kyoya smiled. It was painful to hear those words, to hear that she accepted everything and wasn't willing to fight it. He had hoped that she had some modicum of affection for him that escalated beyond platonic feelings, but Haruhi was Haruhi. Her mind was focused elsewhere than silly teenage romances.
"That's nice to hear. Yes, let's remain as friends. No hard feelings?" he asked though it really cut him to do so.
Haruhi smiled as well, willing the gods not to let him notice that she was slowly breaking inside.
"Let's. And no hard feelings, Kyoya-senpai."
…
That night, Haruhi was busy studying for a quiz the following morning when the doorbell rang. Wondering who it could be at this hour, she opened the door and to her surprise, it was Kyoya, his finger poised to ring the bell again.
"Kyoya-senpai," said Haruhi, opening the door wider. "What are you doing here? It's late."
Kyoya put his finger down and Haruhi took a good look at him. He looked dishevelled, his hair sticking up on end as if he ran his fingers through it several times. He was still wearing his school uniform, minus the jacket; the shirt was creased and wrinkled and his tie was askew.
"Haruhi, I need to talk to you," Kyoya said breathlessly. He stumbled inside the tiny Fujioka flat, leaving his shoes mindlessly by the door. Haruhi frowned, wondering what was up with him. He seemed…distraught, confused…not exactly what you could describe Kyoya Ootori as normally.
He paced around, seeming as if not knowing what to do.
Haruhi sighed. "Would you like some tea? You seem a bit frazzled."
"Tea is the last thing on my mind right now," answered Kyoya but he took the hint and kneeled down by the low table.
"Okay," said Haruhi and sat across him, waiting for whatever it is he wanted to say. For a while, silence loomed. Kyoya was a bit more relaxed by then but not so much. He was still fidgeting a bit.
"Haruhi, this might seem a bit too late right now, but I need to tell you something," said Kyoya, straightening his glasses and tie. He finally realized his appearance and thought that it would not do good for him to speak without looking the least bit acceptable. "I…am so sorry that I had to end things like that abruptly. Believe me, it was all unprecedented. If things should end between us, I wished that it wouldn't be that way. Rather, I had hoped that it would be better if you had shot me down from the marriage proposal than me telling you it was all done. I--"
"Is that what you came here for?" intoned Haruhi, her voice barely audible beyond the pounding of blood rushing to his ears. "To apologize?" Her heart was twisting itself painfully inside her chest and she found she couldn't breathe, let alone speak but she struggled for control and continued, "Please don't bother. You already told me enough. I don't need a dissertation of your feelings towards all this. It's all perfectly clear to me. You…you don't have to explain things twice."
"Haruhi…please…."
"Please what?" Haruhi finally looked up to stare in his eyes once she checked that her tear ducts wouldn't betray her. "Don't tell me that everything between us ended when nothing even started." Haruhi stood up and went for the door. "Now, it's getting late. We have classes tomorrow and I have to study for a quiz. I must ask you to leave."
Kyoya breathed in deeply then let it all out in an inaudible sigh. He staggered to his feet as well. "I see. That's your answer." He lingered on the premise of putting on his Gucci shoes, but as soon as he was ready to leave, he suddenly grabbed Haruhi by the arm and pulled her to give her the most searing kiss.
Haruhi couldn't react, much less move so tight was his grip on her, and for a second she closed her eyes, finally admitting to herself that this was something worth throwing out her mind out for.
It was Kyoya who broke the kiss and continued to crush her in his arms, afraid to let go.
"Please don't tell me that nothing ever started between us because you know that it's a lie," he whispered close to her ear, nipping the reddened skin with his lips as he spoke. "I want you, only you and I intend to have you. I'm prepared to go against everything I was brought up to believe if you would just tell me that I will be the one you'll choose. It pains me to say it, it goes against every principle I have to admit it, but I love you. I love you so much. I don't care what my father thinks anymore. You're the only one I care about. Please, Haruhi, say something!"
It felt as if Haruhi's world suddenly stopped at his admission. Kyoya--the Kyoya Ootori actually confessing his love for her?! This was…inconceivable. Sure, she felt that there was something underlying his burning kisses and intense gazes but it was all too much to take in. Summoning the last vestiges of willpower in her, Haruhi pushed him away and scrambled to a corner.
"That's not fair for you to say that," she said angrily, her voice steadily rising . "You have Miss Jansen now and if you break things up with her, everything you told me is a lie. And don't you dare tell me that it pains you to say that you love me! What kind of admission is that? I'm sorry to be the cause of your grief, but now I'm happy that I won't be, not anymore. What kind of man tells the girl he loves her but it goes against his principles? It's not love, just overblown lust. Again, I must beg you to go. Let us not speak of this in future. This was a blip in our lives and it's best we forget it. Good night, Kyoya-senpai."
"We can never go back to what we once were, Haruhi. It's something that you best admit to yourself before it's too late. Good night."
As Haruhi closed the door behind him, she got the nagging feeling that she was also closing the door on her future.
The kiss still burned on her lips.
---
Waah! Another chapter done! This time, it's Tamaki's father that's scheming. What will Haruhi do? Who will she say yes to? This might end up to be TamakiXHaruhi instead of KyoyaXHaruhi if I go nuts.
Got another injury. Same place and deeper this time. Knife slipped and whoosh! Blood galore! I think it penetrated to my muscle as it's very sore but I'll live. Managed to type this without seriously bleeding to death. Got through my third bandage since beginning to type as blood is really oozing out. Nice.
Thank you so much for your reviews. I really appreciate them. This is only going on for a few more chapters as I have not one but two new stories lined up. Both are still Haruhi and Kyoya but one's more angst and the other one, kinda unconventional. I hope you guys would like it.
Now, question time! Who do you think will say this line (taken from the movie, Rumour Has It… starring Jennifer Aniston.)?
"I won't say that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to."
You can choose from:
a. Kyoya
b. Haruhi
c. Tamaki
d. Kaoru
e. Hikaru
f. Mori (?!)
First one to get it right gets the next chapter dedicated to him or her! Good luck: )
Please, READ AND REVIEW!
Rienne :P