I think this is a bad chapter because I didn't put much in it, just like the raw details. And I'm too tired to go back and edit, so enjoy. Or not. Heehee :D
"He feels guilty Ally." I was explaining the entire conversation I had with Austin this morning. "Why would he feel guilty? I mean I told him that it wasn't about him though." She rolled her eyes as if the problem was obvious. "Yeah, totally unconvincingly. He's smarter than that Ally."
He really is. After that whole conversation this morning, I didn't do anything. I felt all depressed. During lunch, I sat outside and eating my pathetic lunch under a tree. I didn't have many classes with him, so that was okay, but sometimes I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head. But I knew that was impossible. Right?
"Hey um Trish? I have to go somewhere, I'll catch up with you later okay?" She nods slowly as she gets absorbed into her magazine. I walk out of my house, and is suddenly hit with a burst of cold air. I rub my arms in attempt to keep me warm. Then it hit me. It's the middle of winter. And its freezing. I walk back inside and grab the closest jacket I can find and walk back out into the blistering cold.
I take Trish's car and drive to Austin's house. I turn up the radio and listen to the song as I sing along.
He was long gone
When he met me
And I realize
The joke is on me, hey!
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I never been
Till you put me down oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground (1)
I stopped singing along as I reached his house. I pulled my hood up as I slowly grip the steering wheel tighter. What am I doing? Going back to his house to talk to him? I don't like it when we don't talk. I never liked it when people are upset with me. Especially him. Something about him makes me want more, something intoxicating, something alluring. But then I come to my senses again and I stay away.
But I don't want to.
I shook my head and got out of the car. I walked up to his front porch, shivering as the wind began to pick up. I cautiously pressed the doorbell, hearing the faint "ding-dong" sounds from the inside. The door slowly opened and there Austin stood, his hair slightly messy as if he was taking a nap. His eyes widened and he pulled me inside of his house. He quickly closed the door and turned to me.
"Ally what were you doing out there? It's freezing!" He was wearing a jacket over his long sleeved shirt. "And you're not even wearing that much. Just this flimsy jacket." He motioned to my small jacket. I shrugged and looked down.
"I had to come talk to you." His eyes softened and he led me over to his couch. I never really took notice of his house. I've been inside before, but the whole living room just opened up to me. It was really modern and comfy looking. It was like one of those cabins you rent when you're on Christmas vacation or something. But then there was that splash of color every now and then, and that makes it their own. I sat down on one of the loveseats and Austin sat next to me. He turned to me.
"So what did you want to talk about?" His eyes filled with concern. I shrugged my shoulders.
"I don't know, I guess I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for this morning. The whole thing wasn't really about you, it was just a couple things that have been clogging up my brain lately." I saw him shift uncomfortably.
"Well what kind of things?" It was hard for me to get out really. I knew in my heart that half the things were really about him, but not directly. It's just that I can't function right when something's wrong.
"Just some things," I trailed off, not wanting to answer his question. "About me right?" Well I guess he figured it out. Way to make it subtle Ally. I shrugged.
"Some of it. I mean I just cant help but to feel really weird and really confused when I'm around you." His face filled with sadness and slight confusion. "How so?" Everytime I think about this, I always keep my feelings in, but I figured that I can't do that anymore. I lean into him, my head into his chest.
"I always have the best time with you, I feel like I'm happiest with you." I shift, moving away from him just a bit. "But then when we're apart, I always get to thinking that we're going to fast, whatever it is we're doing. I just feel like sometimes I can't control anything. And it's hard for me to like meet somone who gets me, because not a lot of people do." He nodded and got off the couch. He walked into his kitchen and grabbed two mugs. He poured in some warm milk and added the chocolate. He gave me a mug and I mumbled a "thank you" quietly. He sat back down to me as he took a sip and placed his mug down.
"I'm sorry Ally." I snap my head up to him. "Why are you sorry?" He shrugs his shoulders and picks up him mug again.
"I mean look at you. You're like stressing so much and you're making your life so miserable, and it's all because of me. Everything's because of me. I never wanted to cause any of this, I just you know.." He trailed off, taking another drink out of his cup.
"Just what?" His eyes stayed down, simply admiring his hot chocolate. Then he looked away, looked back up, but avoiding my stare. He opened his mouth, but didn't say anything as if his words were gone.
"Just liked you." He quickly got out in a hushed tone. "If I hadn't come into your life then you would've been happy. You would've just moved on with your life and found someone to take care of you. You didn't need me. Sorry." My eyes started to tear up.
"Why would you think that I don't need you? I do. You're the only who has really gotten me through my whole love disaster. You made me feel better, something about you makes me feel this rush of happiness. Especially when you smile." I give him a cheeky smile, hoping to make him smile. His eyes meet mine, but then move away quickly. He looks down and fiddles with his thumbs for moments. He looks up at me and smirks.
"So you like my smile?" I pushed his shoulder playfully as I giggle. "Ally, I understand when you said that its hard for people to understand you. I feel like that too sometimes, I feel like people know me, but they really don't know me. It's hard to find someone who even cares enough to stick around and figure you out." He really did understand. I've been sticking with Trish for a while now, because I feel like shes one of the only people who can really understand what I'm going through. I mean sure she's a loudmouth, but shes really compassionate too.
"But theres something about you Ally, I just can't explain it. It's like I feel like deep down inside, you really care. And I can tell that you do. But something tells me that you care evn more than any other person. Maybe even Dez. But I cant help but to feel that you..." He trailed off, moving his eyes to his hot chocolate again.
"That I what?" His eyes looked sort of, passionate, more like worried too.
"That you might like me too." He shakes his head before I get a moment to speak. "But you get me. I know you do, more than anyone else could ever possibly." He said, inching towards me.
"And I don't know if its like fate or what, but something's happening between us, and neither of us can stop it." The light between us was slowly getting smaller, him inching toward me more quickly. "You get me, and I get you. We're both made for one another."
His breath was hot on mine now, his face inches away from mine. I felt his lips brush up against mine before saying, "And that's how it was meant to be." As soon as he finished the sentence, the light between us disappeared and slowly faded away.
I think this is the crappiest chapter ever. Like I planned it out in my head, and it sounded fine, but then I looked at it, and then I hated it. Just to let you know, they kissed. Okay, got that cleared up.
I haven't been working really hard on this story, but more of my other story. SO, this story is going to be wrapping up, probably one more chapter and thats it.
I pretty much got over my cold, thanks to all the love guys. Gosh I'm tired.
TPB is next to be updated, thanks much!
(1) I Knew You Were Trouble -Taylor Swift xox