Tuckington. Tucker returns from an away mission and needs some good advice.

Wondering Why We're Here
Chapter Eleven: Tuckington: Your Opinion

There was an entire squadron of bright faced, scared soldiers who needed training and confidence boosting, and prioritizing them over one of his own men – one of his own men who had long outgrown the need for a leader when he became his own captain, whether he wanted to admit it or not – should have been a simple enough decision.

But Washington was seldom allowed simple decisions in his life and was quick to sigh, bark out a few orders, and start over to the sidelines where Tucker was waiting on him.

"Do you have a minute?" Tucker asked, like there was ever a time before where Wash had turned him around.

"Typically not in the middle of training, no," Wash replied honestly. "But you've been with Carolina and Sarge for a week, so I think I can spare some time." Then, because there was always that anxiety at the back of his mind, added, "Everything's… alright with your mission, right?"

Tucker shrugged, eyes far from concentrated on any mission he had just returned from. "It was fine. Church got annoying but, eh, that's what he does."

"You two aren't cat fighting again, are you?" Wash pressed.

"It's not a cat fight, we're fine, he just…" Tucker's brows knit together and he lowers his head, swears a few times. "I had it, Wash. I had it – there were two of them in my sights, I had perfect cover, it would've taken just a second to duck out of it and snipe the fuck out of them, and then…" He threw his hands up dramatically before quickly letting them drop to his sides with a smack, head shaking. "Carolina swooped in and took them out – she didn't even have sights on them, she was on the complete other side of our cover, Sarge was at her back, and Church – for no good goddamn reason – turned her around and put her on my guys!"

Wash studied Tucker a bit, looked over his shoulder to check on the Chorus soldiers, "PICK UP THE PACE!" he snapped off, then turned his attention back on Tucker. It wasn't the time for a petty 'bitching session' as Tucker loved to call them, but, well, for Tucker Wash was willing to make time.

"Listen, Tucker, I'm sure you're frustrated, and it feels like no one's noticed all the hard work and the progress you've made in the last year," Wash said, watching as Tucker slumped onto the nearest bench, shaking his head. "But I promise you, everyone sees how far you've come. Everyone's really impressed with how far you've come. And to be fair to Carolina and Epsilon… well, maybe it wasn't anything to do with you. I don't know if you've noticed, but Carolina isn't exactly subtle about dominating on a battlefield. It's what she does. For better or worse."

"No, it was Church," Tucker glowered. "I know it."

"So you're upset because your friend is looking out for you?" Wash asked, raising a brow.

"No, I'm upset because he doesn't believe I can take care of myself!" Tucker snapped off before taking a deep breath. "That he doesn't think I could take care of everyone else either. I mean. Jesus. I can! I know I can…"

Except the more it went on, the less Tucker sounded like he believed his words. He looked to Wash. "Right?"

Washington rubbed at his neck. "I don't know what comfort my opinion on the matter is, Tucker. I'm not Church. But… yeah. Of course you can. I've never doubted you could do what you've been showing us the last few months. I've never doubted that you can even do more. It's… Well, it's why I push you."

There was a moment of silence where Tucker continued to stare at the floor and Wash become concerned that, once again, none of his words were really reaching Tucker's ears when the marine looked back at him, face in a firm scowl.

"What are you talking about? Of course your opinion matters."

Rubbing at his face, Tucker exhaled through his nose. "Was that all you took from that–"

"No, but listen, Wash, enough with the self-depreciating bullshit," Tucker growled out. "Church is an asshole, and yeah maybe I care way too much about how he feels about this stuff, but the difference between you and Church is that when Church was leader of Blue Team, he didn't exactly train us to do anything. He was probably one of the worst goddamn soldiers in the canyon and yet he had to be the one to do everything, take the blame for everything… I never had to be a soldier. And fuck if it didn't almost get me killed. A lot. But when it comes to training and actually doing this soldier bullshit I should have been doing from the beginning… of course its your opinion that matters. I mean… you trained me. And believed in me." He looked to his helmet, spun it around a few times in his hands. "I let you down… how am I supposed to forgive myself for that?"

Every muscle in Wash's body felt taut, frozen yet strained. He looked down at Tucker, seriously studied his face, his shoulders, the lines of sleeplessness and worry drawn around his eyes and mouth, and felt…

Wash honestly didn't know how to feel about Tucker at that moment.

He reached forward instead, put a steady hand on Tucker's shoulder and watched as his dark eyes turned back onto Wash.

"You don't have to worry about that, Tucker," Wash said softly. "You've never let me down. I don't think you ever will."