Nice Guys Finish Last

A Pokemon Fanfiction by Kayley Laskitt

Disclaimer: Oh, come on, these things are about as useful as a hip pocket on a singlet. But, here it is just for the record - I own a sleek Cooper St dress, a '77 Mazda, but I do not own Pokemon or anything associated with it. Thank you. That is all.

Rating: PG-13, I guess. Might be some language in there for all I know, but nothing you wouldn't have heard if you've ever been to school.

Author's Notes: As if anyone is reading this. Pairing is indigoshippy - that is, Kasumi x Hiroshi. There's a bit of Shigeru x Satoshi as well.

Dedication: To Jesse, who got a major 97.35 for her TER score and got into Bio-Med at Melbourne Uni. I'm so proud of you - my little Jess is all grown up!

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Chapter 11 - Conversational Geometry

"No, Satoshi, you may not get one. Why on Earth anyone would want to mutilate themselves with silver appendages is beyond me . . . " Here, Hanako seemed to remember where she was, and who was with her. "It looks very nice, Hiroshi dear," she said calmly, before turning back to the important task of smearing copious amounts of chocolate frosting on the cake she'd baked earlier.

"So, if it looks nice on Hiroshi, why can't I get one?" Satoshi persisted, successfully sounding approximately half his age.

Hanako eyed him shrewdly, as mothers tend to do. "Don't push your luck," she advised calmly. "I'm quite sure that your friends could finish this whole cake off without any help from you."

Satoshi grinned and obediently fell silent.

"I have to ask, though," Hanako began, handing Satoshi the frosting bowl to lick - there were some things he just hadn't grown out of, and probably never would grow out of, knowing Satoshi. "What on Earth possessed you to get your eyebrow pierced? If you were Takeshi, I would understand, the boy has so many extra holes in his body I'm surprised he doesn't leak" - Shigeru snorted with both amusement and agreement - "but I'm quite surprised that you went and got it done."

Hiroshi shrugged. "It's hard to say, really," he said honestly. "We were just walking past the place, and it was just an impulse, really."

"Right." Shigeru sounded doubtful. "A carefully planned and orchestrated impulse."

Hiroshi didn't blame Shigeru for his doubt. "No, seriously," he insisted. "It was a real spur-of-the-moment thing. No ulterior motive whatsoever."

Satoshi shot Shigeru a meaningful glance, which wasn't as effective as he might have hoped, due to the gooey chocolate frosting beard he was sporting.

"Ah," Shigeru said sagely. "I see."

Hanako clearly didn't see whatever it was that Shigeru could see, but knew better than to ask. She shook her head slightly, and left the kitchen, telling them she would 'leave them to it'.

Satoshi set the sticky frosting bowl aside and leaned forward, dark eyes widely intent. "Okay, she's gone. Here's the question. You realise that tomorrow's the big night, right? Kasumi's birthday. One of the last few chances to impress her before she leaves. Got any plans?"

"Oh, that reminds me," Shigeru interrupted without any form of apology. "Satoshi and I bought another present for Kasumi at the mall . . . it seemed kind of cheap for three people to give her one bikini. We figure that can just be from you, considering you paid for it and all."

"Who cares?" Satoshi demanded impatiently, rubbing a splotch of frosting from his thumb. "Kasumi's out with Imite, which means we have the perfect opportunity plan the final assault!"

His words were serious, but it was impossible to take him seriously whilst he was wearing Hanako's frosting like a well-groomed beard. Exasperated, Shigeru reached across the table and scrubbed at Satoshi's face with a napkin.

"Ow!" Satoshi protested, trying to push him away.

Hiroshi, however, was too caught up in his own thoughts to be at all entertained by this display. "Final assault?" he echoed, his dark eyes narrowed with mild consternation. "Isn't that a little . . . drastic?"

Shigeru tossed the crumpled napkin aside, having scrubbed Satoshi's face clean. "Drastic? Hardly. Satoshi's right, Hiroshi. This is it. Your last chance. The sky's the limit. All bets are off. The deuces are wild. The -"

"Cliches are getting annoying," Hiroshi interjected, rolling his eyes.

Surprisingly, Shigeru did not snap back twice as viciously as Hiroshi expected, but instead shot Satoshi a deeply meaningful glance.

"Did you see that, Satoshi?"

"I saw that, Shigeru."

The two nodded solemnly, and Hiroshi shook his head with exasperation. "What are you two airheads on about?"

Shigeru inhaled sharply, shook his head. "Did you hear that, Satoshi?"

Satoshi nodded gravely. "I heard that, Shigeru."

"I think I should notify his next of kin," Shigeru said solemnly.

"Notify his next of kin, Shigeru," Satoshi said, as though he had thought of it.

Hiroshi was struggling between annoyance and amusement. "Come on -"

"Tragic, really."

"Heart breaking."

"What are you talking about?" Hiroshi demanded, aware that all this was flying straight over his head and out the kitchen window.

Satoshi placed his left hand over Hiroshi's right and eyed him solemnly, undisguised concern in his dark eyes. "It's going to be okay, Hiroshi," he assured him. "Hang in there, tiger."

Hiroshi was fairly certain that if someone didn't enlighten him in the next thirty seconds, he was going to explode.

"Don't you get it, Hiroshi?" Shigeru was smiling a complex, unreadable smile. "You've turned. In the few weeks you've been here in Masara, you've done a complete personality 360."

"180," Satoshi corrected.

"What?"

"A 180," Satoshi repeated. "Because if he did a 360, he'd just be where he started . . . you know, because a 360 is a circle and all."

Hiroshi wasn't particularly interested in Satoshi's laws of conversational geometry - he was too busy considering Shigeru's words.

"But that sounds stupid," Shigeru argued. "Like 'oh he's changed so much, he's done a full 180'. That sounds -"

"Have I really changed that much?" Hiroshi interrupted.

Shigeru stared at him, part amused, part amazed. "Hiroshi - you just interrupted me and didn't even apologise. And you need to ask me if you've changed?"

Hiroshi opened his mouth to protest, then closed it when he realised Shigeru was right.

"Don't think we're the only ones who've noticed it as well," Satoshi advised. Hiroshi was about to ask what that was supposed to mean, when the front door opened and Kasumi entered, home from hanging out with Imite.

She poked her head into the kitchen and smiled. "Hey guys," she said brightly, glancing in the general direction of Shigeru and Satoshi. Her blue-green eyes shifted, and landed on Hiroshi. "Hey, Hiroshi."

"Hey, Kasumi," Satoshi and Shigeru chorused.

Her eyes were still on Hiroshi, a tiny smile on her lips.

"Hey, Kasumi," Hiroshi said, casually.

Her smile widened and then she disappeared.

Satoshi stood up and placed the empty frosting bowl in the sink. "Tomorrow night," he said.

"Final assault," Shigeru said, also standing up.

And then they too disappeared, leaving Hiroshi alone at the kitchen table, staring at Kasumi's birthday cake.