I'm so glad you guys liked the last chapter! I hope you guys like this one, too. Please make sure you read the AN at the end of this chapter loves!
Marlene POV
I'm so tired of these stupid parties. Every single week. I get that it's a tradition, or whatever, and I know they all love it, but it's becoming so draining for me. They all expect to stroll into that house with a smile on my face, like I always do. I wish they would realize that it's fake. It's always fake, and it always has been. Lynn is the only one that knows that I'm still struggling. But sometimes, I feel like even she forgets when she forces me to go to these parties with her.
Honestly, sometimes I feel like she's just holding onto me because I'm a replacement of her friend who committed suicide.
"Mar, are you almost ready?"
Speak of the devil. I turn around, a lip gloss wand still in my hand, as she stares at me from the doorway of my room. And all I want to do is drop the lip gloss and tell her I'm not going. All I want is to lay down and never get up. But no matter how much I want all of this, I still find myself faking a smile as always.
"Patience," I say teasingly.
She smiles and rolls her eyes before walking away. My smile vanishes, as I turn back to the vanity. I look at my reflection and sigh. I want so badly to tell them. But I can't tell them without them worrying or trying to get me help again.
I don't need help. I just need to rest. I need a break.
"Come on!" Lynn yells.
I take a deep breath, willing myself to be strong. Just for a little while longer.
On the way to Zeke's house, we talk and laugh as usual. Except her laugh doesn't seem forced. Then again, she doesn't notice when mine is forced, so maybe I'm just not noticing either. Whatever the case, I know it's just going to get harder when we get there. Uriah can almost always tell when I'm pretending to be happy. I always have to work harder around him, probably because he's known me the longest.
When we get to Zeke's house, there are already quite a few people there, and there is already music playing. I feel myself cringing away from people, as I walk between groups. Lynn leads us right over to Uriah. She greets him briefly before moving onto her sister, and I stay behind. He walks over to me, a smile on his face, and I return it automatically.
"How ya doing, Mar?" he asks.
"Awesome!" I lie like I always do. "I think I'm gonna grab a drink."
"Mar..." He looks around briefly and then lowers his voice. "Don't you remember what we talked about?"
"We talk about a lot of things, Uri!" I reply cheekily, even though I know what he is referring to.
"I really don't think you should be drinking while you're on meds," he says seriously.
"Well, I'm not! I haven't taken my meds in days!"
"Marlene!"
"And look, I'm fine!" He stares back at me, concerned, but I ignore it. "Don't say a word to Lynn. You know how she gets. Now, I'm going to get a drink!"
I turn and walk away before he can say anything, but I can sense his eyes on me the entire time.
Shauna POV
"Can we please make sure Four doesn't get drunk tonight?" Lynn whines.
"Oh, I don't think he'll be getting drunk again for a very, very long time!" I reply.
"He won't!"
I jump, nearly spilling the drink in my hand, as Four comes up behind us. He quirks an eyebrow at me, an amused smile on his face, as I roll my eyes at him. Lynn laughs at me, even after I glare at her. I guess my big sister powers are wearing off.
"Do you always have to be so creepy?" I huff dramatically. "You almost made me lose my drink."
"Yes, I do," he replies with a smirk. "And that was your own fault."
"For once, I agree with Four," Lynn says.
"Shut up, Lynn!"
"Make me!"
I narrow my eyes at her and go to grab at her, but she runs away before I can. Pride rushes through me as I watch my little sister scurry away, glancing over her shoulder to make sure I'm not following her. I guess my big sister powers aren't wearing off after all.
"So," Four says, as he leans against the wall next to me.
"So," I reply, smiling at him. "Is she coming tonight?"
He rolls his eyes and shakes his head at me, but I refuse to let up. I push his arm until he looks at me, and I give him a knowing look.
"Yes," he finally mutters. "She is."
"All right. Well, if she's going to be the future Mrs. Eaton, I just feel like I should know her better."
"Shauna."
"Sorry, future Mrs. Four?"
He groans, as he pushes himself off the wall and starts to wander away. He stops when he realizes that I am following him. He gives me a look, and I simply grin back at him. I watch, as he crosses his arms and sighs.
"What do you need to know about her?" he asks tiredly.
"How about her name, address, social security-"
"Shauna!"
"You know I'm kidding, Four!" I roll my eyes. "I just want to get to know her better! She seems nice."
"She is," he agrees, and I grin at him.
"And cute."
"She is."
"Aw, you love her!" I hit his arm dramatically until he grabs my hand to stop me. "I knew it!"
"Are you already drunk?" he asks, although he seems more amused than annoyed now.
"No!" He gives me a look, telling me he doesn't believe me. "I'm not! I just think it's so awesome that you finally like someone! I was starting to think that maybe you were a robot, Four."
"Gee, thanks," he says, rolling his eyes.
I open my mouth to respond, but I stop when I feel a tap on my shoulder. When I look around, I see Uriah staring back at me, but he is not grinning like he usually is. Instead, he looks nervous about something. As I look back at him, I can only pray that it doesn't have to do with Christina again. I don't think I can deal with that drama again.
"Hey, Shauna," he says, looking around.
"What's up, Uri?" I ask.
"I need to talk to you..." He lowers his voice. "It's about Marlene."
"Oh... Okay." I furrow my eyebrows before looking back at Four. "This conversation isn't over, Four."
He rolls his eyes again, as I walk away with Uriah following closely behind me. I have to say, I really miss the days when we could have parties without so much drama happening in the first ten minutes.
Tris POV
The speaker is so close to the table that holds all of the drinks that I can barely hear Marlene, as she chatters away with Christina. Even when I could hear her, it didn't really hold my attention, anyway. They were mostly talking about makeup, for some reason. In the time that I've known Christina, I've found that that is one of her favorite things to talk about. And as pretty as she is, it didn't surprise me that Marlene was just as interested in the subject. As I stand there, waiting for Christina to pour out our shots, I consider looking around the room to see who else is here so far, but I would rather not make awkward eye contact with a certain person, so I just watch Christina's hands, as she pours.
"Why does Uri look so upset?" Lynn asks as she comes up next to us and grabs a cup.
Marlene and Christina both look back. I decide to bite the bullet and look back as well. When I do, I see Uriah and Shauna standing in one of the corners. Shauna is sipping steadily, her eyes glued to Uriah, as he talks to her. He does look upset, and I can't help but wonder what happened. When I look back at the girls, Marlene rolls her eyes and looks at Lynn.
"He's probably talking about me," she says dryly.
Although Lynn doesn't seem very happy with that answer, she does seem to understand what Marlene is talking about. I notice Christina look at Marlene for a second, jealousy in her eyes, but Marlene doesn't seem to notice, as she picks up her shot glass. We stand in silence for a moment, as Christina takes her own and hands me another. We look around at each other, and I wonder if they all feel the sudden tension that has surrounded us, or if it's just me. Before I can figure it out, Marlene raises her glass in the air.
"To bad decisions," she says with a grin.
I don't bother to question it this time, and it seems like nobody else is going to either. Marlene downs her shot, and the rest of us follow right after her. I put my glass down on the table, deciding that two is enough, especially since I was the one who told Tobias that it would be better if we didn't get wasted tonight. After the week I have had, I wish I could. But it would be pretty horrible to tell him that we shouldn't and then go and get drunk anyway.
"Another?" Marlene asks, still grinning, as she starts pouring herself another shot.
"Maybe you should slow down," Lynn says.
Marlene looks at her, her grin disappearing, and Lynn looks back at her, her eyebrow raised slightly. I look from them to Christina, who seems just as confused as me.
"Uhm..." I start, to break the silence. "Well, I think I'm done, so I'm gonna walk around."
"I'll join you," Christina says a little too quickly.
But they don't seem to notice. Marlene simply offers us a quick, half-hearted smile before looking down at her cup. As we walk away, Christina looks at me and grabs my arm.
"So..." She draws the word out. "What the hell was that?"
"I don't know." I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe they're fighting or something."
"Maybe. Whatever it was, that was plain awkward." I nod my head in agreement, as she looks around the room. "Oh, look! There's Myra and Rita!"
I inwardly groan as she pulls me to the other side of the room with her. Yet another two girls for Christina to talk about fashion with while I stand off to the side, bored as hell.
As soon she becomes invested in the conversation, I decide that I will sneak away without telling her. Probably the easiest way since she might whine if she sees me leaving, even though I'm not really contributing to this conversation at all. As the other girls continue their conversation, I slowly begin to walk around the room in search of a familiar face.
Marlene and Lynn are still talking near the table. Uriah and Shauna are still talking as well, but now Zeke has joined them. I would rather not risk walking over and interrupting a serious conversation, so I rule that out.
Well, I guess I'll just stand here in the middle of the room, surrounded by strangers.
"You look lost."
I spin around and find myself staring back at Tobias, as he smiles slightly. I shrug my shoulders, as I try not to smile back at him.
"You can't really be lost if you're not looking for anything in particular."
I groan inwardly, as I wonder why I would say something so stupid. I guess small talk has never been my forte.
"So, you came to a party to wander?" he asks smartly.
"What do you come to parties for?" I retort, trying to get the attention off of me. "You don't drink. What fun is it for you?"
"Zeke's my best friend." He shrugs my shoulders. "It's like a contract. You have to be here if you're friends with him. Besides, I don't mind being the only sober one."
"Well, you won't be tonight," I tell him.
"I saw you taking shots before," he says with a smirk.
"Two." I roll my eyes. "Just two. I'll be fine."
"If you say so." I look around as someone bumps into me and continues on their way without even looking back. "Maybe we should get out of the way."
"Agreed," I sigh.
He smiles slightly, as he gestures for me to follow him. We weave through the crowd until we end up at the sofa against the wall. Nobody else is using it since everybody is either playing beer pong, standing around and talking, or dancing. I sit down next to him, but I remind myself not to sit too close to him. Unfortunately, that idea goes out the window, as I realize that I'll need to sit relatively close to him to hear him.
"What about you?" he asks, as he leans back. "Why do you come to these parties?"
"Because my best friend loves them." I shrug my shoulders. "And for a while she was my only friend. So instead of staying home alone with my brother, I would just go with her."
"So, we're both here because of our best friends," he says, shaking his head slightly.
"That, and sometimes drinking is fun," I add.
"I've never found it to be very fun."
I look at him, but he is not looking at me. Instead, his eyes are wandering around the room, as if he is observing everyone. He looks slightly upset, and I wonder if I should ask. I decide to do it anyway.
"Why?"
He looks at me, more serious now, for a moment before speaking.
"I don't like who I am when I drink," he says. "You lose control of yourself so easily when you're drunk, you know? It's like people aren't even themselves when they drink."
"Is that all?" I ask carefully.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Of course," I say honestly, and he sighs.
"The first time I got drunk is the reason why I never wanted to get drunk again," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Long story short, I went a little crazy, and I tried to fight with Zeke. Obviously, him and Uriah just kept pushing me off and trying to hold me down, but I just kept going for him. I don't even know why. He forgave me afterwards, but I don't think I ever forgave myself. I've been trying not to drink ever since."
I stare at him for a moment, unsure of what to say, as he brings his hands back into his lap and sighs. I find myself wondering if maybe that's the reason that he seemed so uncomfortable after he fought with Peter. He looks up at me, as the thought enters my head, and I remind myself that I have to respond, even if I have no idea how to. But he beats me to it.
"I've just found that it's better to channel that negative energy into something better," he says.
"What do you do, then?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"Well, my uncle Amar owns a gym," he explains. "So, when he realized how much pent up anger I had, he put me in front of a punching bag and taught me how to fight. He said that it was okay to know how, and it was okay to practice, but that I should only use the skills when they were needed and never for unnecessary violence. Now, whenever I feel angry, I have a way to let it out without hurting anyone else."
"Well, now that you know that, don't you think you would be okay if you got drunk again?" I ask. "I mean, you were fine last time."
"I'd rather not think about last time," he says, smiling slightly. I can't help but smile back this time. "And I'd rather not risk it."
We sit in silence for a moment, as I consider everything that he's said. I watch, through the crowds of people, as a girl throws a small, white ball, and it lands directly in one of the red cups on the opposite end of the table. She jumps and squeals excitedly, as she high-fives her partner. I listen to the upbeat pop song playing loudly.
I find myself thinking again, this is definitely not like Eric's. And as the thought enters my mind, I think of someone else. And I remember what he said.
This isn't over.
And while I know I shouldn't spend time worrying over it, I still know that Peter wasn't lying when he said that. As I consider everything that Tobias has told me, I realize that there may be another way that he could help me.
"Hey, To… Er, Four," I say quickly, as I realize that we are still surrounded by people even if we're not paying attention to any of them.
"Hm?" he replies, looking at me.
"Do you think, maybe, you could… teach me how to fight?"
He quirks an eyebrow at me before looking away, as if to consider this.
"I would ask why, but I think I already know," he mutters.
"I really appreciate that you helped me last time," I say, making him look at me again. "But I also know that you won't always be there."
He looks slightly pained at this, and I almost regret saying it. He composes himself quickly and nods his head slowly.
"You're right," he says. "I'll teach you. Whenever you want."
"Thanks," I say softly.
He smiles slightly at me, and we look at each other for a moment. Before I can think of something else to say, I feel someone plop down on the couch next to me. I look around to see Shauna smiling at me. She has a drink in her hand and, considering there's not very much in it, I have to guess that she's had a good amount to drink.
"Well, hello!" she says, confirming that she is tipsy. "How are you, Tris?"
"I'm good," I say awkwardly, as I wonder why she is suddenly talking to me. "How are you?"
"So good," she sighs. "Listen, I feel bad because I barely know you! I mean, last time there was so much shit happening, that I didn't really get to talk to you at all, and I-"
"Shauna," Tobias cuts in, giving her a warning look. "Surely interrupting a serious conversation isn't the way to introduce yourself."
"Don't be silly, Four!" She grins. "It's the only way! Anyway, what were you two talking about?"
"Uhm... Fighting," I say since it's the first thing I could think of. She raises an eyebrow at me. "I don't mean we were fighting. I mean we were talking about... fighting."
"I'm going to teach her how to fight," Tobias says with a sigh.
"Oh!" She puts her hand on my shoulder and smiles. "You know, he taught me too! He's a really good teacher. You're gonna be kicking ass in no time."
I can't help but feel a little jealous, as Tobias rolls his eyes but still smiles a bit. But then I remind myself that Shauna is with Zeke. And Four has already admitted to having feelings for me. Still, I can't help but feel a little uncomfortable sitting between the two of them. It might just be my anxiety acting up, but I decide to act on it anyway.
"Well, I should probably go find Christina," I say, as I stand up.
I feel both of their eyes on me, as I start to walk away. But I am stopped before I can even take two steps, when I hear Shauna call out my name. I turn around and look at her.
"What's your middle name?" she asks.
"Uhm..." I try not to show how confused the question made me. "Hazel."
"Right." She grins. "Okay, thanks!"
I nod my head awkwardly before turning around and weaving through the crowd to get back to Christina.
Four POV
The grin stays on Shauna's face, as she watches Tris walk away. I look at her, confused, but she doesn't seem to notice.
"And why did you ask her what her middle name is?"
Finally, she looks back at me, still grinning and laughs.
"So that you know what to call her when you propose, of course!" I roll my eyes, as she pretends to hold up a ring. "Tris Hazel... What's her last name?"
"Not telling," I mutter.
She pushes my arm, but luckily, she doesn't ask again. Instead, she takes a sip from her drink. As we sit there talking, I watch Tris across the room, as she talks to Christina about something. It must be something good since Christina keeps smiling and pushing Tris playfully. Maybe her and Shauna aren't too different from each other. I'm not sure how long Shauna and I sit there before Zeke walks into the middle of the room and announces loudly that it is time for Candor or Dauntless.
Sorry to end it there but I really haven't had a lot of time, and I figured a slightly short chapter would be better than no chapter at all! Anyway next chapter is up to you guys!
Do you want to see the Candor or Dauntless or should the next chapter be after the party entirely? Let me know what you want :)