I was feeling okay again once I had made sure Atticus was okay. After our talk, Atticus had decided to catch up on some work for himself to keep his mind off Jem. I asked him if he was taking a day off or two and Atticus had replied, no; he needed to make sure that he was going to be there to get prepared for this trial. He confided in me that things were actually rolling along rapidly and we might have the trial as early as the summer. I got happy and I thought to myself that this was a good thing because maybe Sara would be able to come back home earlier. It didn't last long though because Tom's trial was in the summer and he tried to kill Scout and Jem on Halloween. I guess it's always good to have hope even if it's just for a little while. I thanked Atticus for his time and he said the same to me and I was out of there.

I didn't go upstairs to see Scout right away after that, though. If I know my wife she's probably asleep by now. Sleep comes easy to her between her pregnancy and everybody's stress. I made a trip to the laundry room and saw there was a dirty bin full, so I threw that in the washer and checked the dryer to see another load waiting to be folded. I stayed in the room until that load was folded and the washer was done so I could put the next round in the dryer. Plus, staying down here gave me a chance to cry and worry about this situation. I didn't really have time between trying to stay strong for my wife, especially but also for Atticus. I felt like I didn't really have anyone to vent to and the thought of it made me kind of resentful. I hadn't even dared tell Scout about the dreams I've been having about her mother let alone how scared I am for everyone about this new trial ordeal.

The sound of the washing machine buzzer made me snap out of it. I quickly dried my tears and repressed my feelings as I stuffed shirts, pants, dresses, underwear and socks of all kinds into the dryer. Now to put away the clothes that I had folded. Here I go again with the big guy farce. I stocked the linen in the downstairs bathroom first, then upstairs to put another load of linenin that bathroom, and back to my room to put away Scout's "delicates." I opened the door quietly because I didn't want to wake up her up but to my surprise, she was sitting up right like she was waiting for me.

"So that's where you were?" She asked with a big smile that made me smile.

"Yeah, you could say that," I said as her delicates went into her top dresser drawer.

"Come here," she said with her arms wide open. I happily obliged and dropped onto the bed and crashed into her while she kissed me hard on the mouth. Her arms went around my waist and she held me tight like she never wanted to let me go. Poor thing.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. I hoped I didn't crash into her too much; our baby was in there.

"I should be asking you that," she said with a sad sigh.

"Why?"

"Dill, honey, you've been so strong through all of this and I don't understand how. Everything's so crazy now. I'm sorry I never stopped to ask you before now."

"Don't worry about me, sweetheart," I replied, maybe a little too cold.

"I'm sorry about a lot of things," she said, sounding a little hurt. That was the last thing I wanted for her to feel. "I'm sorry I never say, 'I love you,' first..."

"Honey," I was flabbergasted. "I know you love me. That thought never even occured to me."

"I just think sometimes I don't show enough just how much you mean to me," she said as she began to rub my back. "I want you to know that I'm doing the best that I can to be a good wife to you."

"Honey, you are a good wife," I said as I turned back to lay next to her. "I never even wanted a wife until you came along. If I was going through hell, you would be the one I would want by my side."

"I think there were times I was your hell," she said with a blushing smile.

"So what if you were?"

"I love you," she said as she put her hand on my face and kissed me.

"There, you said it," I said with a laugh as she slapped my knee. "Feel better now?"

"Yes," she said, still smiling. "I'm still tired though."

"I promise I'll be here until you fall asleep," I told her as she rolled back over. I rubbed her back as I heard her breathing get easier and easier until I knew she drifted off to sleep.

"I love you, too," I said as I kissed her cheek. "Never forget that."