I did say that I hated to leave you hanging so...

Btw: Real quick, I had Rosalie call Edward a masochist on purpose. Remember, she doesn't know what she is talking about, so of course she would call him something he is not, not knowing the difference. ;)

Keep Calm and Read On! -Quickly becoming my new slogan!

Chapter 11:

New Year

I let him devour my mouth until I needed more from him. My hand slowly went down towards his growing crotch. He moved his way through my hand with his and unzipped his pants. I took that as my signal to remove my panties, and I did. I slowly began to lay myself back onto the seat, but Edward took hold of my arms and twisted. My body turned with no objections until I was on all fours on my tan leather back seat.

Curiosity and need were all my brain could think of. Edward took hold of my hips firmly, much like some other entity had taken a hold of my common sense.

He shoved my skirt up to reveal my bare ass. I was embarrassed, but too afraid to protest, to wanton to even try. He shoved his dick inside of me in one swift movement.

My lungs constricted. I choked out a cry in ecstasy and pain as he pounded into me. I wanted it more than I wanted my own life because I had become him. I pushed myself back into him meeting his thrusts perfectly. Edward grunted pleasurably, spurring me on further.

"You like that?" He asked breathless.

"Yes," I replied tensely. I heard his brisk laugh. He was hitting my perfect spot, and just before I could cry out anymore in pleasure, pain rippled up my backside as Edward spanked me.

My eyes shot oped in surprise. Had I imagined it? He never faltered in his pounding. I was getting closer and closer until he hit me again. Part of my body winced in pain while the other part yelled in agreement to his smacking. My orgasm slowly started to fall away from me as I prepared myself for another slap. It came, and it came down hard and loud. My insides hardened with happiness bringing my orgasm closer. My mind was fighting against my body.

Edward groaned as he caressed my sore cheek. Tears pricked my eyes. Everything was heightened. My vision was blurred and my body was feeling too intense to keep up. Another spank slammed down onto me and my body obeyed to its need. I came around his dick giving into my convulsions. My moans were muffled by constricted air. Edward gave three more ragged thrusts and called out my name as his bodily fluids filled me.

He collapsed onto my back and wrapped an arm around my stomach. After our breathing had returned to us, Edward raised off of me and buttoned his pants. My limbs ached and my ass burned reminding me of his slaps. I cringed putting my underwear back on. Looking to Edward, he looked happier than ever. My insides churned. My mind held regret, and Rosalie's warning popped into my head.

When would I become strong enough to get over her? Edward suddenly kissed my cheek and got out of the car. I sat motionless watching him climb into the drivers seat. He fiddled with the heat and buckled his seatbelt. Where had our voices gone? I slowly gathered what wits I had left and climbed over the center console into the passenger seat. I sat down and flinched. I felt used.

We pulled away from Chaos in silence. Music was playing but my ears were drowning. It seemed that my little neat universe had become too chaotic to keep up with. Edward hit me and enjoyed it. I wasn't ready to allow my body the satisfaction of liking it, because such a large part of me didn't. There was no feeling behind it. It was sex and nothing else. Edward took from me just as I had taken for him. He didn't look over to me. I know felt as forlorn as I did about our situation.

Why did he like it? Why did he need it? Sadness overwhelmed me knowing that I could never be what he needed. Finally arriving at my apartment, we got out of my Volvo and Edward walked me to the door. I tried to hide my slight hobble due to my burning behind. I should have left my panties off. Each step had the fabric rubbing my sore in the worst of ways. I tuned to face him, but did not open my front door. I wasn't offering him anything else. He handed me my keys. My eyes finally looked up to his.

"Bella," He addressed worriedly. "Why are you crying?" Here reached up to touch my cheek and I flinched involuntarily.

"It was too much," He admitted, mostly to himself it seemed. "I'm so sorry." I shrugged slowly. My voice never came to me when I needed it the most, when I needed it to defend me.

"I'm no good, I told you. I won't bother you again." His words were everything and nothing that I wanted to hear. My heart ripped, my body screamed, and my mind sighed in ease.

"It hurts," I whispered. "Why do you need it?" Maybe he didn't. Maybe he was caught up in the moment. He shook his head, his golden eyes fading away into the blackness again. I felt like a whore.

"You liked it, Bella. Your body told me so." I shook my head again.

"Why would I want to be hit?" I asked angrily, my voice rising with each word. Edward took my hands and kissed them softly.

"I would never intentionally hurt you, baby. But there is a world of pleasure you cannot even begin to dream about," He confessed. My body perked at full attention, my burning ass reminded me of the pain, and my brain was yelling everything I could not speak. Was I willing to find out what he meant?

"I need more than sex," I ordered. Edward's chiseled face fell.

"I am no good at that."

"Just as I am no good physically," I countered. He flashed me his crooked grin briefly.

"I can't promise anything."

"Neither can I."

"I want to try."

"So do I." We smiled softly together. I leaned up to kiss his mouth before releasing his hands, and unlocking my door. I heard him chuckle from behind me.

"By the way," He purred. "Happy New Year." I turned to face him in surprise. I had completely forgotten. I gave him another smile, then slipped behind my front door.

I hid myself behind the walls of my apartment securely. I waited until I heard his engine start before I fell to the floor in pieces. Sadly, I didn't know as much about Edward as I wished too. I knew that this new year was going to be everything and nothing I thought it would be. I noticed my Bible on the end table by the sofa and thought of something as I crawled over it.

I flipped through the old rice paper carefully until I found what verse I had forgotten about.

.

Psalm 147:3

He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.

.

I sank back down to the floor. Why didn't I know what I wanted? This suddenly became more than loosing my virginity. It was more than Edward's strange ways. It was more than Rosalie's lies, too. I hurt all over but it wasn't until fear entered me that I cried to God for anything he would give me.

"He's dangerous."

What if Rosalie is right?

How was that for ya?! Please remember that our Bella is naive and afraid of a lot of things. These characters still have growing to do, and obstacles to over come. I hope you enjoyed it. Your feedback seriously makes my day. I hope I have written something you are enjoying!