Shepard was walking out of the communciations room, having just finished updating Admiral Kahoku regarding the marines that his team had found on Edolus. Understandably, Kahoku was angry and upset, but still thankful to Shepard for at least learning the truth. He ended the call vowing revenge on whoever had caused the slaughter of his men.
Shepard stretched as he walked into the mess, checking his watch at the same time. By Earth standard time, and the time kept by the Normandy and all Alliance space-faring craft, it was near midnight. Most of the lights in the mess were now turned down low, but Shepard knew he wouldn't be sleeping any time soon. There was still a report to file, and he'd rather do it now, with the information still fresh in his mind. To his surprise, he noticed Tali sat at one of the tables, her head in one her hands. He approached her slowly, unsure if she was awake or not.
Why is she still up?
"Tali?" he whispered, as he took a seat across from the clearly sleepy quarian.
"Hmmm… Oh… Shepard, what… What are you still doing up?" asked Tali, lifting her head.
"I could ask you the same thing. Why are you still up? Why are you not in one of the sleeping pods?"
Tali yawned before she explained. "This ship is so quiet, Shepard. I'm finding it difficult to get used to. Ships on the flotilla are always very noisy. A quiet ship means either a failed engine or an air filter failure. Both are quite catastrophic when they happen, but thankfully that is very rare. Plus, it feels like there is no-one on board the ship. Ships on the flotilla are full to bursting, full of life as well as the noise. All the space I have right now is a strange feeling."
"Oh, I didn't know. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Not really, Shepard. It will just take some time to get used to."
"You sure?"
"Yes, Shepard. But thanks."
"Okay. Well, try and get some sleep. Go on, get into one of the sleeping pods. You'll feel better for it."
"Okay, Shepard, if you insist," chuckled Tali, as she rose out of her chair and slowly walked over to the row of pods, stretching her arms above her head, before pushing the button to open it.
Shepard stood up as he watched Tali walk away, making sure she actually entered the pod, before turning and walking into his quarters. He smiled to himself before he sat down at his desk and started writing his report.
About an hour later, his report written, and the general housekeeping a commanding officer has to complete each day, Shepard stood and walked back into mess to grab a drink before heading to bed. He was just about to open the fridge when he turned around. Tali was sat back at the table, her arms folded on the table, her head laid on top. Shepard just shook his head, smiled slightly but sighed, as he walked over to where Tali had sat down. He sat down next to her and looked into her mask to see if he could see her eyes. He didn't them at first, but they suddenly shot open and Tali quickly sat up straight.
What's Shepard doing here?
"Shepard!" she nearly shouted, clearly startled.
"Sorry to scare you, Tali. But you fell asleep in the mess. Again. I thought I suggested that you should go to sleep in one of the pods?"
"I tried, Shepard. But the silence in those pods is deafening. I just couldn't drift off."
Shepard thought for a few moments.
Surely there'd be no harm….?
Shepard stood up. "Follow me, Tali. I have an idea," he requested, as he turned towards his quarters. He turned his head to see Tali wring her hands for a second, before she slowly stood and followed him. He opened the door and walked into his room. Tali stopped on the threshold.
He wants me to… sleep in his quarters? With him?
Shepard turned to look at Tali, motioning for her to enter. "Come on, Tali. You need to sleep. A good night's sleep. I can tell you're exhausted. So there is no better place. Take my bed. I'll put some music on for you, so you have background noise."
"Shepard, I couldn't possibly…" responded Tali, as she still stood on the threshold.
Shepard just sighed and walked back towards Tali, grabbing her hand and walking her over towards his bed. "Do I have to give you an order, Tali, or will you do it because I'm asking you? Please?"
Tali smiled behind her mask.
He does care.
"Okay, Shepard. I'll sleep in here. Thank you."
"No problem. Now, make yourself comfortable. I'll turn on some music. It won't be anything you would know, but if its noise you need, then hopefully it will help."
"But where will you sleep?"
"I have plenty of work still to do. When I'm done, I'll take one of the pods outside."
"But, Shepard…"
"No buts, Tali. I've spent the past ten years or so sleeping in pods. Another night is no harm done. Please, just take the bed. For me."
Tali couldn't say anything. His gesture was just so… extravagant. The captain giving up his bed for a lowly engineer? Such a thing was unheard of. Tali could only nod her head, lest she start crying if she thanked him again. She positioned herself comfortably on the bed, as she watched Shepard fiddle with the music system on his desk. Soon the sound of music entered Tali's ears. She wasn't sure what music it was, but she found it comforting nonetheless. Within a few minute, she found herself slowly drifting off.
Shepard watched Tali drift off to sleep, her bright eyes behind her mask dimming and finally disappearing. He grinned to himself as he grabbed a book from the small shelf that he had installed just about his desk. He settled himself into his chair, resting his feet on the bed, and had probably read about five pages before he was lightly snoring.
Shepard slowly opened his eyes. His neck hurt as he lifted his head to look at the bed. Tali was gone. He looked at his watch to see it was the middle of the morning. He yawned and stretched, as he stood out of the chair, cracking his back at the same time. It hadn't been a comfortable night's sleep by any means, but he didn't mind as long as Tali had one.
Yawning again, he slowly walked toward the door, stretching further as he walked. He was hungry, and needed breakfast. He walked out of his room, into the mess to see his entire team, minus Tali, sat there eating breakfast as they quietly chatted to each other. They all stopped and looked up at Shepard as he approached the kitchen, watching his every movement. Shepard grabbed a tray, loaded some breakfast, grabbed a coffee and walked towards the table, his team still watching his every movement. He sat down and made to start eating, when the first question was raised.
"So, Shepard, sleep well?" asked Alenko, a slight smirk on his face.
"Not particularly, Alenko. But thanks for asking."
"What about Tali?" asked Ashley, a clear smirk on her face as well.
"I don't know. You'd have to ask her," Shepard replied, not liking where the line of questioning was heading.
Ah, shit, they're assuming things already. Dammit.
"Well, we would ask her, but all we know is that she exited your quarters a few minutes ago, took one look at us, and ran off to the elevator. I can only assume she's down in engineering."
"Shit," muttered Shepard to himself.
I need to talk with Tali.
"So what exactly happened in there?" asked Alenko, the smirk still on his face.
"Nothing happened, Alenko. Tali has had trouble sleeping ever since she came on board. I found her out in the mess twice last night, half asleep, so I told her to take my bed. I played some music for her. And, before any of you make any more assumptions, it was because she's used to having noise in the background. I fell asleep in my chair, and she was already gone by the time I woke up a few minutes ago."
Garrus was busy chuckling away as Shepard explained, while the rest of the team looked at their food.
"Any other questions or assumptions that my team would like to make?"
The team all shook their heads, all looking slightly embarrassed. Even Liara, who had not been on board that long, couldn't meet Shepard's eyes.
Shepard stood up out of his chair, hands placed firmly on the table as he glared around the table. Now he was pissed off. "Well, I guess I'd better go talk to Tali. No doubt she's probably terribly embarrassed by the whole thing. Which, if you haven't figured out by now – and I'm looking at you, Alenko, but all of you here can take note – was entirely innocent. Merely a captain looking after one of his crew. Apparently, the captain can't even do a nice thing without everyone starting to gossip like a bunch of fucking schoolgirls."
"But…" started Ashley.
Shepard just glared at her, and Ashley didn't continue, turning her attentions back to her food. Without a word, Shepard stalked out of the mess towards the elevator. He almost pushed the button to call the elevator through the wall, anger coursing through his veins.
What did I do to deserve…
No…
No…
You caused this, Shepard. It's not their fault.
Shepard boarded the elevator, pushing the button to go down, and let out a deep sigh. Calmed himself down. This was just what he needed with everything going on. Gossip about the captain and one of his crew.
Come on, Shepard. You've set yourself up for this. You like the bloody girl.
Shepard shook the thought from his head. He couldn't think about Tali that way. He was just being nice, that was all. The captain merely looking out for the well-being of one of his crew. Any captain would have done what he did. Right? The elevator had stopped descending, Shepard stepping off and turning towards engineering. It already felt like a route he took nearly every day.
No wonder they're gossiping.
Tali was at her station, working away on trying to maintain optimal performance regarding the drive core. She had to admit to herself that she hadn't slept that well in ages, but she could still feel herself blushing, after walking out of Shepard's quarters, to find his entire team sat in the mess. She was embarrassed to be caught in such a compromising situation, and ran straight down to engineering. It was only place where she thought he'd escape the stares and gossip. She was now trying to concentrate on work, and not think about Shepard, when a cleared throat caught her attention. She turned around.
"Shepard? What are you doing here?" Tali looked at Shepard's face. He looked angry. "Is everything okay?"
Tali watched as his features softened, his eyes brightened, a slight grin formed on his face. That always happened when Shepard talked to her, she thought.
"We should talk about… last night."
"Oh," she said softly, and started to wring her hands. "Shepard, I'm so embarrassed. People are now going to think… things. About me. About you!"
"Let them, Tali. You, I, we, did nothing wrong. You slept on the bed. You know I slept on my chair. The most important question is: did you sleep well?"
"Yes, Shepard. I haven't slept that well in months. Thank you. But you just slept in your chair? You said you'd go sleep in one of the pods."
I just wish you were next to me… Keelah, did I just think that…
Shepard just shrugged his shoulders. "I'm fine. All that matters to me is that you had a decent nights rest. Regarding the other thing, I will make sure any gossip about you is stopped immediately."
"But…"
"Trust me, Tali. You will hear nothing. And if you do, be sure to let me know."
Tali nodded her head. "Okay."
"And… if you need a good night's sleep again, you let me know about that as well."
Tali looked up to see Shepard smirk. "But Shepard…"
He'd like me in his room again? But why?
"Tali, if you can sleep in the pods going forward without a problem, then great. But if you have trouble, you let me know. Captain's orders."
Tali smiled behind her mask. "Okay, Shepard, if I have trouble again, I'll come talk to you."
"Good. Right, glad that is sorted. I'll let you get on with your work. I'll talk to you later, Tali."
"Okay, talk to you later, Shepard."
Kaidan Alenko was sat alone at one of the tables in the mess, his head in his hands, fingers rubbing his temple. It was late and the lights were turned down. Just the way he liked it when a migraine occurred. He was used to these migraines. He almost laughed when the thought crossed his mind. Used to migraines? How on earth do you get used to this? Then again, Alenko was thankful that he only suffered migraines, one of many symptoms biotics such as himself could have suffered due to their eezo exposure. Alenko knew he was one of the lucky ones. A large percentage of those exposed were already dead, having suffered all manner of health problems. The majority suffered cancer, while a minority eventually suffered mental health issues. Basically, they went crazy.
"You okay, Alenko?" asked a voice.
Alenko opened his eyes in surprise, continuing to rub his temple with his fingers, as he looked up through squinted eyes to see Shepard looking down at him, concern written on his face. "Yeah, Commander, I'm okay. Just have a migraine. Just something I have to put up with, unfortunately."
"You have to 'put' up with migraines? Why is that?"
"It's a long story, Commander. Not sure if you want to hear all the details."
Alenko stayed silent as Shepard took a seat across the table from him. "Come on, Alenko, you should know me well enough by now. If something is affecting you, I'd like to know. I have details about you on your file, but you know I like to talk to people to understand what makes them tick."
Alenko grinned as he sat back slightly, one hand still rubbing his temple as he looked across the table at Shepard. "Fair enough, Commander. It's do with my biotic implant. Not sure if you know much about human biotics. I'm not sure what they have in my file."
Shepard shook his head. "Not a lot, Alenko. Just the basics."
"Anyway, I have what is called an L2 implant, which, while letting me wield powerful mass effect fields, which I'm sure you've noticed already, it does have a number of drawbacks. My migraines are actually quite a minor drawback. Many biotics with L2 implants suffered all sorts of neurological problems."
"Is there anything you can do? Perhaps a new implant?"
"There are L3 implants available, but I'd rather stick with the L2, and the side-effects. L3 implants don't have the same power, plus the operation to switch the implants could end up leaving me brain damaged anyway."
"Does the biotic talent come naturally, like asari, or did you did you train?"
"I was sent to brain camp. Oh, sorry, the name was Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training Centre, or BAaT for short. It was located at Jump Zero."
Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Since when is there biotic training on Gargarin Station? I know it's a research station, but I've never heard of this."
"Oh, this was years ago, Commander. I believe BAaT was shut down a long time ago by the Alliance after some… incidents. I believe it's all classified by the Alliance now. Most of it was rather embarrassing for them at the time."
"Mind talking more about it, Alenko? I don't know much, if anything, about this. Particularly if it's classified."
"Ask away, Commander. I'm an open book. Nothing to hide."
"So what was it like, the training? If it was anything like my Special Force training, then it would have been hell."
"Hmmm… Think of it like this. You discover you've had eezo exposure as a child, possibly in the womb, and you suddenly discover you may have hidden biotic talents. Well, you either had that, or developed brain cancer. I was lucky. Anyway, if you survived exposure, you come home from school one day to find men in suits waiting for you. Next thing you know, you're millions of miles from home, stuck on a sterile, boring space station, surrounded by a bunch of other kids scared to their wits end, with what can only be described as turian mercenaries making your life a living hell."
"Turian mercenaries? Sounds like hell to me, too."
Alenko shrugged his shoulders. "Some of us managed to survive. Conditions could be brutal, but we stuck together. The worst part was the isolation. The station was deliberately kept off the extranet to prevent leaks. We couldn't even speak to our families."
"How was the training itself?"
Alenko was silent for a moment. Shepard sat silently as Alenko thought. How much could Alenko say? Everything that had happened was classified, although Alenko had not signed any confidentiality clauses. As far as he was concerned, he could share whatever he wanted.
"Brutal, in all honesty, Commander. Conatix, the firm that was in charge of finding biotics, were pushing for results. Apparently they were not good enough, for the amount of funding they were putting in, so they hired a bunch of turians. Ex-military. One such turian, Commander Vyrnnus, was straight out of the First Contact War. Hated humans. Hated us kids as well. He made our lives hell. Some kids wilted. Some kids died."
Shepard's eyes widened in surprise. "Jesus Christ, Alenko. How on earth did you survive that?"
Alenko sighed. "I made a mistake. I fought back."
"Fighting back was a mistake? How or why is that?"
"A girl. Her name was Rahna. She was beautiful, Commander. She was smart, intelligent. Everyone liked her. I liked her… a lot."
"She sounds special. What happened?"
"Vyrnnus was on his usual war-path. Demanded that we only use biotics in his presence. Rahna was a good biotic, as good as anyone else there, but after hours of practice, everyone was tired. She made the mistake of using her hand to grab a glass of water, instead of her biotics. Vyrnnus broke her arm. I… reacted."
Shepard stayed silent, just indicating for Alenko to continue.
"I just saw red, Commander. I charged at Vyrnnus, doing anything I could to protect Rahna from any more pain, while just trying to stop him. Vyrnnus went mad, hitting me with everything he had in his armoury. He rained blows down on me, launched all manner of biotic attacks. I could feel myself wilting. I didn't want to attack him, I merely defended myself as best as I could. But in the end, he pulled a knife on me. As soon as he did that, it was either me or him. Life or death. I made sure it was him. I just surged my biotics into one massive kick. Broke his neck. There endeth the lesson."
Shepard let out a quiet whistle. Alenko tried to keep his expression neutral. What he was explaining to the Commander was the short version of what happened. He remembered every little detail of that day – the sounds, the smells. What people were wearing. The conversations that took place. And he remembered every single moment of the fight. He remembered the fear he felt deep inside as Vyrnnus attacked him. He remembered the rage building inside as he looked at Rahna, pain etched across her face. In the end, could he admit that he had taken great pleasure in having killed Vyrnnus?
"Was Rahna okay?"
Alenko sighed again, before shaking his head. "She was okay, but she was afraid. She was afraid of me. I was only protecting her, but she watched me kill another person. To her, I was no better than Vyrnnus. Once BAaT was shut down, we were all sent back home. And I never heard from her again."
Alenko sighed as the sadness overwhelmed him. Rahna was the first girl he'd ever fallen in love with. The one question he had always asked himself was – had she felt the same way before everything happened?
"Once I left BAaT, I spent a couple of years 'finding myself', you know, travelling the world, doing some soul-searching after everything that happened. Then I decided to join up with the Alliance. Wanted to serve humanity. Do something worthwhile with my life. I'd already had the biotic training at BAaT, so joining the military itself wasn't such as large step."
"When did you join up?"
"Oh, about 12 or so years ago now. The Alliance are always keen for biotics to join the service. With my additional engineering skills, I was accepted almost immediately. I slowly made my way up the ranks, earned some commendations. I was transferred to the Normandy as soon as Anderson was made captain. Not long before you arrived, actually."
"Any family?"
"My father served in the Alliance. He's retired now. Lives back on Earth. My mother… passed on. I avoided the cancer from the eezo exposure. It caught up with her eventually."
"I'm sorry, Alenko."
"Thanks, Commander. But like everything in my life, it's been dealt with."
The two sat quietly for a moment, before Alenko saw Shepard grin ever so slightly.
"So what's going on between you and Ashley?"
Alenko raised his eyebrows, surprised by the question. "What are you talking about, Commander?"
Shepard just shrugged his shoulders. "You two just seem to be getting along well. Very well."
"We're just friends, Commander. We know the rules about fraternisation."
Shepard sat silent for a moment before continuing. "Well, think of it like this, Alenko. Technically, this is still an Alliance vessel. However, it is currently captained by a Council Spectre. Now, this Council Spectre may have different rules to those of the Alliance. I'll leave it at that."
Alenko sat silent for a moment. Sure, Ashley was a nice girl. He certainly found her attractive. But a relationship? Probably wouldn't work. But Alenko just gave a brief nod to his Commander. You never know what could happen.
"What about yourself, Commander? You've been getting to know all of us. But I don't think any of us know much about you, apart from what we've seen in the news regarding your exploits."
Shepard shrugged his shoulders. "There isn't much to tell, Alenko. I was born on Earth, I joined up when I was 18, served ever since."
Alenko was surprised by the short answer. "Surely there's more, though? What about family? Any loved ones back home?"
"No," Shepard said bluntly.
Alenko sat back, slightly surprised at the blunt answer. He knew Shepard didn't talk much about himself, if at all. He already realised he was uncomfortable with the hero worship he received from most of the Alliance. But now Alenko was intrigued. Just what was in Shepard's past that he didn't want to reveal? Alenko just stared at his Commander, the question remaining unsaid. He watched as Shepard lowered his eyes and sighing before he answered.
"I'm an orphan, Alenko. I don't know who my parents are. I don't have any family. I have nothing but the service."
Alenko knew he looked surprised. "Oh, I'm sorry, Commander, I didn't know."
"No-one does. And, if you don't mind, I'd rather you keep that to yourself."
"Of course, Commander. But…"
Shepard raised a hand to interrupt. "Listen, Alenko. I like to know about my crew because I like to know what makes them tick. I like to know their problems, because if I can help them, then their minds will be 100% on the job. As for my personal stuff, I simply don't like to discuss it. Particularly anything of my life back on Earth. There is nothing to tell. And it has never affected my performance as a soldier. Just… drop it. Please."
Alenko didn't say anything else. He just nodded to finish the conversation.
"Okay, Alenko. Why don't you go get some rest? I know migraines can suck. I want you fighting fit for when we reach Noveria."
"Sure thing, Commander. The darkness always helps. I'll talk to you later."
With another nod, Alenko stood and walked up the stairs towards the pods. Before getting in the pod, he turned to look back at Shepard, who simply sat there alone in the darkness, apparently lost in thought.