Mellie and I have been dating for two weeks now. We're taking things slow...very slow. I'm trying to be patient, but I want her... in the worse way. I'm trying to keep my mind away from those sorts of thoughts, but I can't help it she's so beautiful, so sexy. I've been reminded over and over why I fell so madly in love with her in the first place.
Fitz and I have been dating for two week now. We've decided to take things slow. Well I decided to take things slow and now I'm wondering exactly what I was thinking. I want him with a burning passion that threatens to consume me. I want to take our relationship to the next step, but honestly I am apprehensive. I can't help feeling that once again I'm somehow not going to be enough for him. I sigh knowing I have to put those thoughts aside, Fitz and I are attending a charity ball tonight. It will be the first time that we make an appearance together since we divorced five years ago.
I look at myself in the mirror wondering if I should change into another gown. I know he loves me in dark blue, he's always said the color brought out my eyes. I smooth the dress, it hugs my hips and shows just enough cleavage without being trashy.
"Stunning." Fitz appears behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, before kissing my exposed shoulder.
"Thank you." I turn in his arms and straighten out his bow tie. He's never been able to tie it straight. He pecks my lips and holds me close to him. I feel the heat rising between us, I step out of his embrace. I give him a once over, he twirls around I can't help but to giggle.
"How do I look?"
"You look amazing, but I'm sure you know that." He pulls me back into his arms and kisses me deeply. My hands rise to his chest and I'm about to push away from him, but the ripple of his muscles underneath his tux stops me. My mouth opens and he slips his tongue into my mouth. And I can't help a moan that escapes my mouth. Fitz's hands move lower until he cups my butt. He pulls away from my mouth.
"How about we skip this thing tonight?" He whispers hotly into my ear.
Mellie shakes her head in the negative and I blow out a breath.
"It was worth a try huh?"
"Yes you never know unless you try." She pushes away from me and I reluctantly let her go. "We should get going." I take a glance at my watch and nod my head in agreement.
I love the dress Mellie has on, but I hate the fact that every other man and some women seem to love it too. My hand is at the small of her back the entire night, I haven't let her out of my sight. We greet Senator Haywood and I notice that he hugs her a little too long, a little too close and his hands go a little too low. When he finally pulls back from her I give him a warning look. He clears his throat before excusing himself.
"Are you going to spend the night glaring at any man that comes near?"
"Yes." I say unashamedly. A slow song finally plays and I'm about to ask her to dance when I hear a familiar voice behind me asking her for a dance. Mellie looks at me, not sure what to do. My jaw flexes, but I don't want to cause a scene. I tip my head slightly letting her know it's ok. He leads her onto the dance floor and I watch from the sidelines with my eyes narrowed in slits.
Every time he tries to pull me closer I push him back subtly.
"I was shocked to hear that you and Fitz were seeing each other again." Andrew spits the statement out like the words taste like a bitter poison.
"Probably not as shocked as I was, but I love him and he's really changed." He huffs and rolls his eyes.
"And you believe that?" I'm not in the mood to have this conversation with him here, I not in the mood to have this conversation with him anywhere.
"I know Fitz. I know when he's sincere and I know when he's lying." He laughs sarcastically. The song finally mercifully ends and I move out of his arms like he's burned me. Fitz is by my side instantly.
"I can take over from here Andrew." I note the hard edge to his voice. Apparently he hasn't gotten over my brief affair with Andrew. I smile slightly at how jealous he is, I like it. Another song begins to play and Fitz pulls me into his embrace. We sway in tune with the music and each other's body. His left hand rests low on my back, while his right lightly caresses the exposed skin of my shoulder. "What did he say to you?"
"Just that he was shocked about us dating again."
"I hate that asshole." I pull back shocked by the anger in his voice.
"Fitz it's been over between Andrew and I."
"It should have never started." He pulls me closer to him. When the music stops he is slow to release me. "I'm ready to go." He leans down and whispers into my ear, I know he's annoyed.
"Ok we can go." Fitz and I leave the ball. He is silently brooding in the corner of the limo on the way back to my house. I look over at him and shake my head slightly.
"Why are you upset?" He looks at me like he forgot I was in the car with him.
"I'm not." He states simply before turning to look out the window again. I sit back and remain silent for the rest of the ride. When he's being insolent there is no use in trying to talk to him.
We arrive at Mellie's and I don't mean to be rude or angry, but I'm annoyed with having her ex-lover thrown in my face. It's not Mellie's fault and I certainly wasn't an innocent party in our marriage, but that doesn't stop my jealous streak. The agent opens the door and Mellie steps out. I remain seated. She bends down and looks in the car.
"You aren't coming in?" I look at her shocked by her question.
"Do you want me to?"
"You can for a bit." I laugh acerbically and shake my head.
"That's not what I asked you." Mellie looks at me confounded.
"Yes I want you to Fitz." I exit the vehicle and follow Mellie into the house. We relieve Hayley and check in on the boys before heading to the living room. She turns when we reach the living room. "Do you want a drink?"
"No." I remove my jacket and sit on the couch, she comes and sits next to me. Mellie runs her fingers through my hair and I look at her wondering what's this all about.
"What's wrong sweetie?" She kicks off her shoes and tucks her legs underneath her body, I follow her every move with my eyes.
"Seeing you with Andrew just didn't sit well with me. Along with the fact that just about every man in the place was drooling over you."
"Are you jealous?"
"Yes." Mellie leans in closer to me.
"You have no reason to be. I'm yours." I'm stunned by her words.
"Are you?"
"Yes." I'm perplexed by his question. He turns to me fully, our faces are mere inches apart.
"You haven't given your entire self to me." I lean into him and capture his mouth. Fitz's hands instantly tangle in my hair, before sliding down my body to my waist. He pulls me onto his lap. My dress is bunched around my waist as I straddle his lap. Fitz's strong hands grip my thighs. I grind myself into his growing bulge. I pull my mouth away from his.
"We should go upstairs." He nods and stands with me still in his arms. I wrap my legs tightly around him as he walks up the stairs. Fitz and I frantically remove each other's clothes until we are left in only our underwear. He kisses down my body, he moves to his knees and kisses my stomach before dipping his tongue into my navel, before he can go lower the door bell rings. He looks up at me and I shrug. Fitz stands with an annoyed look on his face.
"Who the fuck is that?"
"I have no clue, maybe it's one of the agents needing us." He rolls his eyes.
"I'll go check." He walks out of the bedroom in just his boxers.
This better be good I think as I head downstairs. I open the door and I can't keep the shock off my face when I see his face, but I can safely say that he's more shocked to see me. I smirk and turn.
"Mellie, Alexander is here to see you!" He stands with his mouth slightly open, the hand holding the flowers I guess he planned to give Mellie, falls by his side. Mellie comes down the stairs in her robe.
"Alexander what are you doing here?" He looks from Mellie to me before speaking.
"Foolishly I thought that maybe I'd misjudged you and the entire situation, but I guess I was wrong. You are the slut I thought you were." Fitz takes a step towards him and thankfully my reflexes are quick enough to slow his progress before an agent comes and steps in between the two men.
The agent tells him it's time to go. Fitz is clenching his jaw so tightly I'm afraid he's going to break it or at the least crack a few teeth. Fitz eyes Alexander the entire time. His silence is worrying. Fitz is like a quiet storm when he's truly angry and that's when he's at his most destructive. Cyrus once described it as "ticking" which aptly describes his mood right now. I pat his chest.
"It's ok let's go inside. He steps back from the door and I thank the agent before closing the door. We stand in the foyer staring at each other.
"I thought you broke up with him." His voice has a hard edge to it.
"I did."
"Then why was he here tonight?" I move my head to the side and regard him. I look back at the door, was he not just standing there and heard the entire exchange?
"He obviously was trying to reconcile with me."
"Have you been talking to him?" His eyes are cold as he stares at me.
"No I haven't, he's called several times, but I don't answer."
"You didn't tell me that." I take a step back
"If you're accusing me of something just say it." I snap out of my angry trance and look at Mellie through clear vision, not one clouded with fury.
"I'm sorry. I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just thrown off by the fact that I had to see both Alexander and Andrew tonight." Mellie steps closer to me and kisses my exposed chest.
"I only want you Fitz." I'm surprised by how insecure I am when it comes to Mellie. I look down into her sparkling blue eyes and I know she is being sincere, but I just keep waiting for her to realize that I'm not good enough for her.
"Let's go to bed, I'm tired." She nods and we head back upstairs. As much as I want Mellie tonight is not the right time, I wouldn't be with her just because I love and adore her, but also because I'd be trying to assuage some of my insecurities as a man. She deserves more, so much more. I can tell from her eyes, that she understands. We walk upstairs hand in hand. When we reach the bedroom, I slip underneath the covers. Mellie goes to her closet to change into a nightgown, before coming in the room and getting in bed. She moves close to me and kisses me before laying her head on my chest. I hold her close to me as we drift off.