572 and One
CHAPTER ELEVEN
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January 17th, 2005
It's already winter and new school term also started and yet it feels like autumn. The sky is downcast and all gloomy. Everything is gray. It's just depressing.
I said depressing. Could you believe that? What more unbelievable is that I'm thinking these thoughts and drawling these words! It's not like I'll mail this letter. Or that I know your mailing address. I don't even know where you're right now.
This is insane and I'm crazy. Dad would hit the roof if he knew I'm holding an actual pen and actually writing. Me writing! He would think I'm finally out if it and need a woman. I don't need a woman. I need only... Never mind, I'm doing just fine on my own.
It started to rain seconds ago. The wind has died down a bit and so the fallen leaves. But the willow branches are still swaying as if they want to follow the wind and fly away. Droplets and more droplets of rain water land on the window panes.
Jeez, why am I telling you all this? And why am I even writing at all? It's already 21st century, even the Information Age has almost become the news of yesteryear. People either pick up the phone or stroke a few keys then send and you've got mail. People text or use Skype. And there are LinkedIn and Myspace, but here I'm torturing my manly fingers with this womanly task.
Yes, I can imagine how your face looks now as you're reading this letter. You're thinking "What the hell? You're dead meat, Ichigo Kurosaki. You're so dead, you sexist fool."
Yep, just to name a few. But who cares? I'll just have the last laugh when you're old and all wrinkles for all wrinkling and ranting you're doing this very instant. And don't you blame me for not warning you about wrinkles. Girls, it seems to me, care more about looks than other, more important stuff with the exception of little girls like yourself.
You're not like them because technically you're still a kid with that limited special edition height of yours. Uh-huh, who else can beat you to it? And little girls should be jumping rope or playing hopscotch and not reading or studying their hair off.
Hmm, I realized just now why your hair stays at the same length since we met. It's because the hair follicles are hiding scared and shaking in their little roots from all the scary words in your scary books and of that brother of yours.
Oh, and they're scared of your drawing too. One has to wonder and rack one's brain not understanding why a person who can't even draw stick people to save her life but her writing is impeccable. And her calligraphy equals to that of the aged calligraphers with years of practice.
When did I see your handwriting and calligraphy writings? It's my secret how and when I saw them. I also know another secret of yours. What is it? Not telling, it's again a secret.
And nope, my saying about your writing skills wasn't meant as a praise but as a reminder to you from me as a friend. Well, friend or punching bag, either title is fine with me as long as you keep your drawings away from me. Farther and farther still. The farther the safer my life will be. Back to that reminder. You'll turn into an old, little lady if you keep up doing whatever you're doing.
Hint. Hint. Hint. Put this letter down then lock all the books away and go out, get some fresh air. Yeah, go out as in getting out the house and off the ground where your house standing, not around it. And fresh air as in fresh out in the open, not just the air coming in through the open windows.
So long, little girl.
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"P.S. Also, Mom and Dad miss you. I... miss you too." she read to herself, lips curving up. "Fought to very end, didn't you, big guy? Wish back then you were more like Dad and let your affectionate feelings show as you did with this letter including postscript like him."
Fingertips lovingly tracing the letters on the page worn from reading too many times, she was about to reread the letter when footfall sounded from down below at the stairway. And as if a switch had been turned on, her lips turned up and the butterflies in her chest, still fluttering from reading the letter, started to dance again. But she remained seated, contented.
You want to surprise me, don't you?
She sat and listened to the familiar footsteps as she waited. Until a shadow fell over her, she spoke looking at silhouette on the wall across from them. "A wolf preying on an unsuspecting rabbit?"
"How did you know that was me?"
"How? So how did you know it was me sneaking into your office the other day and not some infatuated young nurse in training was planning to hit on you?"
"Ah, I see."
He really did see what she was getting at. To be honest, he didn't know since when or how he could distinguish her light footstep from all others. He just did and was rather proud of himself for that.
She turned around arching an eyebrow and looked at him, arms crossed. "Well?"
"You got me there, little girl."
He told her with his finger rubbing the bridge of his nose. She had to try really hard to smother a laugh at the gesture, it'd given him away. He had no idea the telling habit from childhood had grown up with him, it was habit he did when he told a lie. Thanks to her mother-in-law for the tip and so she sent a silent thank you to the dear lady. Even without that gesture, she still knew he'd been lying through his teeth and deliberately misled her to believe he was entertaining adulterate thoughts for another woman.
"I thought you wouldn't be home until five."
She started up the conversation meaning to distract him before her attack. He didn't take the bait.
"How? I honestly don't know." He thought hard but his mind came out blank so he went with his feelings. "As if there is a bond…a thread… a connection... an instinct... or something, invisible and so powerful, and it tugs at my sub consciousness telling me you're there. When you're somewhere close or when you walk into a room full of people, it snaps," he snapped his fingers, "and just like that I know you're there without actually seeing you."
"You just know how to steal a girl's heart, don't you?" On tiptoes, she said against his lips. "I'm glad we're in modern day where polygamy is outlawed. I hate think the number of your other wives that I'd have had to compete with. You're such a lady killer, Mr. Kurosaki."
"And you're not a heartbreaker of men?"
She acted scandalous. "When did I ever break anybody's heart?"
"From what Renji said, you started to receive flowers since middle school."
"I didn't receive them, they were given to me. The first flower was a yellow chrysanthemum and from the boy sitting next to me in eighth grade. Actually he didn't give, he threw it at me. And he did that during recess!" She told him, all fired up. "All eyes were on us."
He reasoned taking her former classmate's side. "I bet he liked you a whole lot to have been that brave and risked a punishment from a fierce girl."
"Liked me a whole lot, my foot! I'd have kicked his butt if I wasn't in my uniform that day."
He chuckled taking in her current stance and facial expression. He could see the scene where a serious and well-disciplined Rukia kicking the boy who'd dared to commit one of her taboos. The boy had made a mistake in showing affection in public and they had only been in middle school. No wonder she'd wanted to kick the boy's butt for wasting his brain cells on pointless things like puppy love and flowers.
"If you did, I'm sure that boy would have been traumatized for life being seen kicked by a mere slip of a girl. I'd love to travel back in time if we had time travel machine and give him a word of advice man to man that a tough cookie like Rukia Kuchiki isn't easy to crack. Even as a married woman, it's still a difficult task to weaken her toughness. I'd tell him to focus on his studies and not openly show affections to any girl whose head is full of philology and mannerism of a ninety year old granny from centuries past."
"Yeah, like someone you know who kept his mouth zipped then poured his heart out on a piece of paper after his wife left him?"
She asked holding out a sheet of yellowish paper to him. It looked familiar but he couldn't put his finger on its existence. Not until she started to read off the page. It was his first letter written to her and the only letter he'd ever handwritten. And yes, it was a letter written to but not for her. He'd written it after she'd left him. She must have found it along with their marriage license and divorce papers that he'd been keeping in his desk drawer.
"You're right. Grown men can learn from that boy and be brave and courageous to show the girl they love affection in open."
No, she wouldn't let him carry all the blame. "No, Ichigo." She waited for him to meet her gaze then argued, "Our DNA markup, upbringing, beliefs, personality and so on are all different and unique. There is no good or bad way to live one's life. One just lives the way he or she sees fit with his or her own purposes and goals. I understand it now, just like living one's life, there is neither rightness nor wrongness in the matter of the heart. And I love you just the way you are." Clearly she enunciated each syllable, "I love the you before, the you now and the you later as much, if not more."
"Later when I've lost all my hair and teeth?"
"Yes, even then." Lips in a grin, she told him, only half joking. "We've been having drought three years in the row, so having no hair and teeth will only help conserve more water for the generations to come. Haven't you noticed my car?"
"I've been wondering about that."
"So have I." She grinned broadly up at him and her eyes seemed to smile. "Remember how I nagged you to wash your car because I couldn't stand the sight of a car covered in dust? But now, I sometimes don't wash it in months. Like how you've always kept your car, I only vacuum and keep the inside clutter free. Know how I've been able to go such length?"
"Is it like a person?"
His question surprised and pleased her at the same time, but she still wanted to hear his answer. "Go on," she prompted.
"To you, cars are like people and outer appearance isn't as important as what lies underneath. A well-dressed person can be corrupted inside while a person in shabby clothing can be with a golden heart and pure mind."
"Is that how you see them as well?"
He inclined his head, her lips turned up into a smile. A secret smile or at least that was how it felt like to him. Was this how Adam had felt when Eve had handed him the apple in Eden? Because if it was, he had no doubt that he'd have done the same disregarding all laws. If he could change the law of nature, he would want to live to eternity just with her. And if changing the cause and effect law was possible, he would change whatever way just to die and be reborn in the same era as she so they could be together to the end of time.
"Ichigo?" No reaction. "Big guy?" A movement but no word. Mischievously she went for the cannon and fired, "Daddy?"
And it'd done the trick, his head snapped up. "Yes?"
"Hmm, is there something you haven't told me about?" She enjoyed the dazed look on his beloved face, she joked but spoke in seriousness, wanting him to believe she doubted his fidelity. "Did I misjudge you? You were in an intimate relationship with another woman and had a kid with her while I was away?"
"What?!"
She had to cover her ears because they were ringing from his loud shouting being offended. Having had enough excitement for one day and feeling sorry for her poking fun at him, she calmed him, her hands moving lazily on his chest.
"Mrs. Kurosaki, are you distracting me so you don't have to tell me about my other rivals?"
"What other rivals?"
"Whoever had ever given you a flower, a gift, a… anything is my rival for life."
"Aren't you a little over board, big guy?"
Why did he feel any insecurity when he was at the top? He was tall and handsome, educated and successful, insightful and considerate and much more, all into one. Simply put he was the dream of every girl and woman. And why was he so possessive of her when he already had all of her from body to soul? A possessive Ichigo was mind boggling. And thrilling.
"Yes, I'm and I'm sorry."
He said he was sorry but he certainly didn't look apologetic to her. He knew she knew he wasn't at all repentant. She could tell by the lifting of his amusing lips and the teasing in his laughing eyes. But she wasn't going to call him out for it. She just wanted to open the book of her life and let him read all the chapters.
"The second flower came in ninth grade. And like the first, I didn't receive but a boy gave it to me." And it'd been exactly what she'd just explained to him. But the big guy didn't look too happy. She elaborated, "I was listening to our English teacher intently and paid no mind to other students or the unnatural silence in the classroom. Or the sudden whispering. Not until other students around me hushed and I felt eyes on me. I looked up and there it was a yellow rose at the upper right corner of my desk. I thought someone had put it there by mistake so I looked around for the owner. And as I looked, I saw the boy sitting to my right was in a private conversation with the girl in the row before ours. She was looking at me then at the rose and smiling while his head bent, listening to whatever the girl was saying in the very low voice. He looked flushed and his eyes never left his desk. So I knew it'd not been a mistake but an intention. So naturally I gave it back to him."
"Naturally."
"What would you want me to do? Keep it and date him?"
He nodded. She couldn't believe him. Was that how he would teach their daughters when they reached that same age to accept flowers and dates? Absolutely no, not while she still had breath in her body. However, it'd been inconsiderate of her to give that yellow rose back to that boy the way she'd. She should have kept it and waited until the class had been over and all other students left to hand it back to him in person.
"I know, it was a terrible thing to do. But you know how my upbringing was." Another nod from him and just like that she felt lighter. He understood her action even if he wasn't agreeable with her decision. Finally she had a chance to confess her misgiving, she added, "I honestly regret my dealing of his feeling, I shouldn't have put that rose back on his desk right there and then in front of twenty pairs of eyes, at the least looking on. It was like throwing his gift hence his feelings in his face. I caused such damage. I hope I didn't injure his manly pride and he let our unpleasant encounter affect his affectionate dealing with other girls and women later in life. I really liked it." She eyed him when he raised an eyebrow. "The rose not him, mind you. You know yellow roses are my favorite. I love all flowers in yellow." Relieved to have finally given him the account of her begotten flowers, she concluded, "They were boys, so you see, I'm not a heartbreaker of men."
"On second thought, I did break one man's heart," she said to his chest.
"Whose?"
"Yours. Whose else?"
"No, you didn't break mine," he disagreed with a wink. "You stole it and I don't ever want it back. I want you to keep it as I've been keeping yours."
His statement was bold. But so very true. He had her heart. It'd been in his possession for… it seemed like since forever. She couldn't recall a moment in life she didn't think of him, sometimes in the front of her mind other times back in her sub consciousness. And yet she'd known him in just a handful of years and the time they'd been together less than that. Putting all hours they'd seen and spoken to each other didn't even make a year. So she agreed with him about the powerful but invisible connection between the two of them.
"We barely touched on the Christmas Eve missed call." She broached the topic as it'd been bugging her for years. Not that she still found fault or even thought he'd broken the promise. She simply wanted everything out in the open and if there was something they needed to work on to nurture a healthy relationship, it would be a good trial to go by. Since she'd introduced it, she went first. "Your silence led me to believe I wasn't what you wanted or needed. That our night together meant nothing to you."
"While I thought you were disgusted with me for taking what you intended to give to the man you would fall love in love with one day and marry him on your terms." He sniggered at his own stupidity. "I assumed that you confided in Sis then in turn she told Byakuya and they stopped you from coming back home to me."
"How did you come up with such bizarre assumption?" Her eyes said he'd been crazy. "How could I ever share with anyone, not even my own sister, something that special?"
"I felt that way too. That's why I was so shocked and hurt when Byakuya paid me a visit on Christmas demanding why I broke my promise to you. Naturally but stupidly I thought the promise he was referring was our own promise to treat each other as friends and nothing else until our agreed upon divorce." She gave his heart a reverent kiss on the chest as if to assuage his pain from the past and to apologize. "It never occurred to me that he meant my promise to call on Christmas Eve because I did call you." His gaze holding her asking her to believe. "I called many times as a matter of fact but none came through, so I took for the worst. I thought you let your phone hung to avoid my calls."
"And not on the phone with some other guy for nightly love talk?"
She teased him in all the while felt shame. She'd done exactly as he'd thought, she'd kept her phone hung up. In truth, she'd tried to call him again after her first aborted attempt and none had come through. The tone on his end had indicated busy. And like him, her assumption had been natural and stupid thinking he'd been on late night call with some other girl. What a fool, a foolish coward she'd been. They could have been saved from their heartbreak and despair if she'd only put her hurt pride aside and pressed him for an explanation after she'd come back from her stay with her sister and brother. It was all her fault, she told him as much.
"I wasn't blameless either." He chuckled at his youthful self. "I was too proud and stupid to let such small adversary take away my love and life."
"You were not alone there."
"Do you want to know why I was so curt to you and sometimes even acted liked I want to bite your head off after the wedding?"
"I'm all ears."
"Because I didn't know how to deal the effects you had on me." He kept eye contact with her as he revealed his confused younger self. "Just imagine one day you were walking on you merry way thinking others your age were nuts going all crazy about Cupids and their arrows then whoosh, out of nowhere, an arrow was coming straight at you and you couldn't do anything about it. So it's lodged in your heart and refuses to butt out."
"So tell me, the owner of my heart, when was that you had Cupids, their arrows and me in one thought?"
"When?" He asked her and she detected a light pink on his handsome features.
After all we've shared, he still blushes. Interesting, she thought to herself, his newest revelation would be epic. But she acted as if the very thought wasn't putting her on pins and needles. "Yes, when?"
"The first time I saw a photo of you." He explained as she glanced up, eyes expectant. "The one you half turned and looked at something so amusing that your whole face lit up. I thought I was there with you and could see your eyes smile."
"I remember that photo. I was at the festival with Grandma, Sis and Brother." She added as an afterthought. "Uncle Kenpachi and his son, my childhood friend Renji also went with us."
He wanted to ask about Renji but the understanding, surprise and confusion chasing one another on her small face stopped him.
"I just turned fifteen," she told him and became silent for a short moment then exclaimed, "and you were only sixteen!"
"I know." He told the raptured woman who was looking as if she'd seen him for the very first time. He went on, a finger under her chin lifting her gaze to his. "It's like you girls' sweet sixteenth birthday, the Kurosaki family has the tradition that the males begin their preliminary search for a bride when they turn sixteen."
"Are we going to keep tradition and marry off our boys at sixteen? What if the girl they love isn't one of those photos?"
Her spoken words were the same as his thought. He wasn't worried because her photo hadn't meant to be included in his preselected bride candidates. "You don't need to worry about that. Just look at us."
"I'm looking but it doesn't answer my question."
She told him, her eyebrows met. It seemed it was time to let the cat out of the hat. "Mom showed me a photo of you before the photos of other girls. She said it was your latest picture and Grandma had just sent in by mail. I didn't look at your photo when Mom handed to me or thought yours would be included."
"Because I wasn't good enough?"
"No, little girl, I thought so because Mom told me your age." She lifted her chin as to let him know she doubted his logic. He pecked her on the cheek. "As a rule, girls under sixteen are excluded from the search."
It'd been his birthday and his Dad had kept their family tradition and given him a stack of photos of girls. And among them one had caught his attention, like it'd called and reached out to him. He hadn't even meant to look any photo but some reason not known, he'd picked the one in the middle of the stack. It'd been a shock to him to feel the strangest feelings ever for a girl he'd just known of. And only through a photo. Shocked was a mild description of his younger self at the time. "Living with my parents, who openly show their love and affection, had me thinking all the weird thoughts about you. Dad's constant whining about not living to see his grandkids and Mom's subtle nudging for me to begin my search of an ideal bride didn't help either."
She watched him with open wonder, appreciation and adoration then professed, "And there I was pulling my hair out thinking you'd only pretended putting on a caring front for the benefits of the adults and put up with my weird moods out of obligations as a friend. I chastised myself for feeling that way wearing thin the floor carpet in my room every day after school." Sheepishly she added, "And sometimes at night."
"I thought along that line as well."
"You felt all that?"
"Yes, all that." His eyes twinkled answering the stars in hers. "That and much more. I resented you for the turmoil in my peaceful existence."
"I was revengeful toward you too for throwing my orderly existence into chaos."
"Isn't it interesting that we both said existence and not life?"
He pondered aloud with half a smile forming on his attractive lips. Mentally she shook her head, but affectedly she said, "It's just a coincidence, that's all."
"Oh, really?" He asked copying Uncle Kisuke's tone of voice to perfection.
"Yeah, really."
Her response came out as she'd meant it be, nonchalant. But she sold herself out as she let her lips curve up. And like always, he caught her but didn't call her on it. Instead, he said to her, his voice was low and timbre achingly wistful.
"I'd only existed before you and when you left, I ceased to live. I only breathed one day to the next and now you're back, I'm living again. So, Rukia Kuchiki, thank you for returning Rukia Kurosaki to me and giving me back my life."
His show of affection for her was profound, she fell harder into a love she knew she would always remember. But sometimes she had to blush wondering if it was normal for them to be so affectionate to the other whereas they'd been like two poles apart when younger. Would this ease of showing last once the poignancy of their reunion waned?
No, it won't, she told her reserved self. I won't let it stop.
Her reserved self doubted, Are you sure, Rukia Kuchiki?
Yes, I'm sure. She countered. And I'm not just Rukia Kuchiki but also Rukia Kurosaki and wife of Ichigo Kurosaki. I'll never be that coward again and let the man I love suffer because of my reserved personality. We're married and love each other, so there is nothing improper to openly show him my affections.
Are you absolutely certain that you won't care what others judge of you, of your sudden change of character?
Let them judge, I'm not doing anything wrong but love the man who loves me. Her answer was final and her voice was definite and her other self took the hint, it left her to soak in the selfless love of the man she loved and lived for.
As Rukia was fighting off her reserved self, Ichigo was also lost in thought contemplating the turn of events.
Their youth selves had been cool to each other. There had been no handholding, lingering looks or mouthing of thank you and I love you. Their older selves, the more mature and appreciative of the blessings in disguise, could scarcely keep their hands to themselves.
No, they were not censorious or insensitive as to express their love too outwardly. Just a kiss on her hair for a small hand on the side of his face. A peck on his chin to a touch of closed lips on hers. A hand around his chest from behind then a kiss on her elegant but strong hands. The constant presence at each other's side and the sharing of private jokes and small laughter. Anything more than those simple but meaningful gestures were saved for private moments in the privacy of their room. The room where all their dreams, strong feelings and passionate thoughts remained and came to life.
He wondered what her thoughts were in regard to the dramatic change of their character. Perhaps not. They'd always been open to each other and never found it difficult letting the other know of one's displeasure. The ease had always been there flowing but they'd intentionally and unwisely stopped that flow for fear their deeper emotions would have been discovered. Emotions like love. Understanding, affection and love had always been in their relationship for them to claim and regrettably they'd not. But they were claiming and holding on to those feelings now. Those feelings were like the embers of dormant coal and just with some gentle raking that coal would rekindle. That rekindled coal had roared back to life and full fire thawing the ice around their hearts, lighting the darkness in their souls and filling emptiness with warmth and hope and love.
They were both conversing with their other self, the ones that looked deceivingly rational and good but in fact impractical and selfish, they for a long moment forgot their flirting covered by the usual, friendly banter.
"Surprised? Shocked?"
He asked opening his arms to her and she flew forward, right into his embrace. They fell backward down on the sofa.
"No and no." She gave him a quick but sweet kiss on the lips. "Just happy, utterly happy. Happy beyond words and beyond this world."
Finally he had her where he wanted her to be, he hugged her to him and said, "Renji and Tatsuki are engaged. At last."
"Tatsuki Arisawa?" Head tilted back, she asked in wonderment, "Your childhood friend, the tough but friendly girl who bested you both at archery?"
He nodded chuckling. "Yes, yes and yes."
"Now I finally understand why they always butt headed whenever they met."
"Like some couple we know?"
Her head bobbled up and down. He could almost see another girl, a younger version of the smiling woman before him and she would be just as energetic. An enthusiastic Rukia was a sight to behold.
"Uh-huh, they were like us before." She agreed then added, "We were worse."
"But I thought they got along just fine. They even went to the senior prom together."
The raven head swept up. "I think I know why. I used to wonder the reason behind their compatibility and dissonance and why he chose to transfer out when he'd been granted full basketball scholarship."
Curious, he queried, "And the reason is?" .
"Sorry, big guy, it's confidential," she replied, all mischief gone and the serious Rukia had returned. "I wish I could share it with you but it's something that only Tatsuki herself can and has the right to disclose." Like a swing, mischief was back in her usually concealed eyes. "It's a girl thing. Like how it is between you and that crazy Renji."
Her tone was full of implication. He lifted up a brow letting her know he understood.
"Couldn't hide from you, could we?"
She nodded with self-satisfaction but said nothing and waited for his confession.
Pretending to find the task tiring, he said with a long sigh. "For a time I envied your friendship with him and nearly declined his offer of help in snaring the elusive girl, who captured my heart then left me in a lurch."
She looked contrite so he hurried on with his explanation. "I was visiting Uncle Kenpachi with Mom and Dad and Renji came home visit. He greeted them as usual but completely ignored me. He talked to everyone else."
He her told recalling the apparent coldness from the hot-tempered man, it hadn't been comforting. "He acted as if I were air and when he couldn't avoid, he only grunted his reply when I spoke to him. He looked at me as if I'd killed his best friend. In a way I did. However I look at things, I was the one who killed our little girl."
His voice regretful and eyes troubled. Her heart broke for him. That was what he'd been believed this past month. No wonder she often found him quiet looking at the far horizon during their daily walk at twilight when he could get home sooner than expectant time. And there had been nights she'd felt regret and pain emit from him in waves when he'd thought she'd been deep asleep. She'd pretended to miss his warmth and hugged him to her as closely and humanly as possible to tell him he wasn't alone and that she loved him. She'd wanted him to know she could and would not blame him for their loss no matter how hard and how many times he beat himself over it. Their little girl would always stay in their heart and memory, but the past belonged to yesterday and they had today to live for tomorrow.
And if her intuition was right—it'd always been if she'd let herself believe—very soon she would give his parents what they'd been yearning for. She would have the physical proof to show the world her love for her big guy—their baby. Unlike last pregnancy where she'd let her misery affect her health and danger his older sister, this time she would make sure to keep herself well and cheerful to protect the fragile and vulnerable life in her womb. She was no longer a confused and irresponsible nineteen year old who misjudged her thoughtful although misguided husband but a full grown woman who was certain of her own feelings and well loved by her husband. But it was still way too soon to be certain of her conception. She was going to wait for another week to do the test.
"No, my love, you're not responsible for her death." She captured his face and willed him to believe with her eyes if her words failed to. "Like you said only weeks ago, our little girl wasn't meant to be ours for long and could only stay in that amount of time. She will or already has come back as another couple's child. That couple will love her as much as we would have if she'd lived."
"And you keep saying I should be a counselor." Her lips curved in response to his when he said, "You were more convincing than I was."
"Of course."
She said smugly. She couldn't help it. Seeing the relaxing and smiling Ichigo made her feel like walking on air. She just wanted to giggle and act like a little girl he refused to stop calling her. She was and would always be his little girl. And he was and would always be the guy whose scowling face had caught her undivided attention. The guy that stopped her breathing with the timbre of his voice and stolen her heart with just a grin.
Her declaration, brief but sincere, came suddenly and just as naturally. "I love you."
"I love you too, now and always." He sealed his promise with a kiss then just as quickly his head lifted up, eyebrows creased with fascination. He marveled, "No, maybe I've loved you before too. Just like Sis and your brother with a love crossed time."
One of her eyebrows lifted, she asked, "Your brother?"
He chuckled at her indignation before sharing his thoughts. "I love your sister like my own and want to address her as such. But your brother?" He had to think before forging forward. "He doesn't seem to like me very much. It's an understatement. I believe he hated the very sight of me but I have no idea why or what I've done to warrant such dislike."
"I can explain." She said and kissed him to stop him from telling her the possible reason. "No, it's not just because of our separation, my self imposed exile or our little girl's untimely death. It happened even before all that. Actually it happened long, I mean long and long, before either of us was born."
His astonishment must have shown and his face beyond comical for she traced it with a finger, smiling. He faithfully listened as the missing clue came to light.
"You already heard bits of their past together and that they'd loved and been separated from each other in previous lives." He nodded and she got on with the story, her voice bewitching like when she'd sung lullabies to little Sakura. "Sis explained to me once, or at least tried to, why Brother has always been so protective and hard on me and later opposed to our marriage."
"Not because he thought me the devil-may-care punk disrespectful and irresponsible?"
She knew he'd meant it as a joke and she also knew she still blamed himself and believed himself irresponsible. He can be thickheaded sometimes but I love him to death and back, she threw at her inner voice before it could even mutter a word.
"No, Brother has never said you were irresponsible. Disrespectful and hotheaded? Yes, absolutely. Anyway, back to the story."
She carried on and he was spellbound. He didn't realize she'd sat up her eyes searching his or the night had fallen until the emotions in her voice broke the spell on him. She looked entranced herself as if she was there when the events had transpired. Not wanting to break her concentration or the enchantment surrounding them, he gathered her back into his embrace letting her know that he would like to hear what was on her mind. And she did. The allure of her storytelling took him to the land he'd often heard about from his elderly relatives and parents and movies made from novel and history books.
"I only half believed the recollections Sis had told me about. The history and their story had fascinated me for so long that I grabbed the chance to read it for myself. So during my one year stay in Japan, I went to the national library and read as much as I could about the feudal Japan." Her voice in awe. "I now completely believe in her undying love for Brother and his for her."
Her hands moved in all directions as if she couldn't contain the excitement. Perhaps she couldn't. She was like that. She kept her stronger feelings and deeper emotions well hidden under that cool and collected armor of hers. Only he had the honor to witness them displayed day in and day out and hopefully he would have that honor for another seventy years or so. He knew he was greedy, but he couldn't help himself and wouldn't care if people knew and laughed at him. He wanted that much time with the little girl who had stared him down at her modest height. He had to chuckle as he recalled her punishment for him to have used that term on her. She'd given him a worthy put down while making a declaration that I'm not short, I'm just fun size.
"You looked off." Eyebrows knitting, she asked, "Did you catch the entire story?
"Yes, my little lady."
"Miss your beauty bath, big guy?"
He finally understood why a girl born in late twentieth century and grown up in America but had deep interest for the philosophy of the Eastern world and more so the ancient history of Japan.
"Yes," she answered with a theatrical sigh, "but certain someone broke his promise and I've never gotten to see the movie. And it was him who suggested for us to go see The Last Samurai once I got back."
"But you came back." He corrected himself, eyes clouded. "You did come back, but you didn't come back to stay."
They might have crossed the critical point and thought their life together would be all roses, but the lingering effect was still there, a shadow blocking away some of brightness of their love from shining through. She felt sad because he looked sad. It was insensitive of her to have brought it up.
"Well, Mr. Kurosaki," she said clapping her hands, "It's almost dinner time and I need to help my mother-in-law get dinner ready for our men. And you, my good man, go ahead take a shower." She told him, hands gently pushed him out of the study and into the master bedroom. "Don't waste your wife's effort in putting together the outfit for you, it's at the foot of the bed."
Holding his white T-shirt and gray sweatpants and boxer in hands, he let her lead him into the bathroom.
"I have a surprise for you tonight," she said into his ear as she headed out.
He asked after her, "What is it?"
"It's a secret."
She threw his own medicine over her shoulder at him then closed the door behind her laughing. She never ceased to surprise him. She tended to do the unexpected at every turn and like that he fell more in love with every time. Tired from long hours of dealing little people, a hot shower was what he needed. And so he started to undress whistling a tune that she appeared to love to listen to. As he showered, he called to the mind the days and down to the hours they'd been together since her return, counting his blessings. Days. Hands washing his hair paused, he did a double take. Like a child had been granted the most awesome Christmas present ever, his face broke into a wide, goofy grin as he did so. He sped up his shower and was done in record time. He almost put his sweatpants on the wrong way, front to back and back to front. He couldn't wait to look into his wife's eyes to confirm his suspicion. Once dressed, he ran down the stairs, two steps at a time.
"Honey. Honey."
He called out and had to skid to a halt at the bottom of the stairs, avoiding crashing into his dad, who'd also showered for his hair was still wet and beads of water dripping down like his own. Fortunately his dad was completely clothed. He sighed out of relief. He wouldn't want to see his wife panicked running into a half-dressed man. His wife was particular about propriety and always took precaution as not to run into any half-dressed man. He'd asked about her brother while she'd been growing up and she'd told him her brother always wore an undershirt underneath his T-shirt when at home. Her late father and grandfather had done the same and so she wasn't used to seeing a male not dressed at close range. And her definition of not dressed was being bare chest. And so she always steered clear of public swimming pools.
"Ichigo?"
His dad must have said his name at least once for his dad appeared concerned looking at him up and down.
"Yes, Dad?"
"Are you alright, son?"
"Yep, never better." No, he had to change the way he spoke to his elders. "I mean yes, I'm more than alright. Thanks, Dad."
Surprise crossed over his dad's aging but still handsome features. His dad had aged well, probably from his mom's love and care. His mom had taken more than good care of him and his dad. He felt blessed to have both parents at his age and felt sorry for his wife. She'd lost both parents at too young an age to have memories of them. He promised himself to care for and love her more. Suddenly he wanted to thank the man standing before for giving him life and love, raising and teaching him to become a man of principles.
"Thank you, Dad." For the very first time in his adult life, he walked up to his dad and hugged him. "Thanks for being a great father setting yourself as an example for me to follow. Well," he chuckled so did his dad when he appended, "I'm not going to take on your lesson in pressing a teenage boy to find a wife and teach my kids, however."
"Yes, skip that lesson, son." His dad hugged him back. "You've always been a smart boy, you'll know what to teach your kids when you have them. Your kids, my grandkids, I can't barely wait for that day to come." His dad let go of him and stepped back. Looking him from head to toe, his dad pronounced. Loudly. "I've got to get you some of those herbs that will boost your virility. You'll give me grandkids quicker that way."
Cheerful female voices and peals of laughter echoed from the hallway, leading from the kitchen prompted him to reach out a hand and cover his dad's mouth with it. His mom and wife were close in approach of the dining room, where he and his dad stood.
In a low voice, he implored to his dad. "Dad, please don't mention virility boosting herbs or grandkids in front of my wife. She's really sensitive to stuff like those."
His dad nodded so he dropped his hand. "Thanks, Dad."
"Anytime, son."
His dad's eyes lightened up and he knew trouble was coming. He was used to his dad's strange behavior but his wife wasn't. He begged, "Please, Dad, promise me you won't say a word about virility or pregnancy when my wife is present."
"My promise in exchange for what?" Hands in prayer position and eyes were full of dreamy stars, his dad made a deal. "One promise for one grandkid?"
Light footsteps on the hardwood floor were closing in, there was neither choice nor time, he nodded. And right away he regretted his agreement to the deal seeing the eagerness in his dad's starry eyes. He knew he'd been had.
"Well, son, you owe two grandkids. One for virility and the other for pregnancy?"
The ladies of the house were upon them so again he nodded, resigned. "Yes, one for each."
And that was how he, Ichigo Kurosaki, became a debtor in his own house. He sighed wondering when he could have his wife to himself and how to tell her about the deal. He knew she would have a good laugh out of it. He would too but only after was through with some self-admonition for letting himself fall into a trap of his own making.
"Something wrong, big guy?"
She asked him from behind. He turned to her, the corners of his mouth lifted up forming a half smile. Her lips did the same without her command. And as she'd told her inner voice that she wouldn't let her overly self-consciousness be the roadblock in the way of her happiness, she took hold of his hand and placed its palm at her cheek. She wanted to prove to herself that she was neither shy nor afraid to show physical affection. And he didn't do less, he raised her other hand to his lips then kissed its inside at her finger ring.
From across the table, his mom smiled her tender smile looking on and his dad gave him thumbs up mouthing Go, son! He inclined his head as he mouthed a thank you.
"Alright, let's have dinner. I'm starving."
She heard her father-in-law speak but her body refused to make a move. And like always, her husband was there lending her his strength. He walked them to the table, their hands clasped. He sat her down after his parents had sat on the other side of the table. They said grace then their nightly routine began and they ate while talking about any topic that came to mind. There were constant flow of talk, shared jokes and easy laughter going around the cozy room.
I'm finally and truly home, she said to herself and her inner voice for once didn't have a second opinion.
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28 JANUARY 2015
CHAPTER TWELVE is my thanks to sinthu, thank you for reading and adding 572 and One to your Favorites. It's also my thanks to my other loyal readers. Thank you all.
Sorry for the long wait. There were too many details to put down so this new addition is a bit longer than the last. Hope it's not a disappointment.
Also, Buddhists do say grace at mealtime but the proper term isn't grace. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to translate it. If you know it, please share by leaving a review or sending me a PM then I'll insert your comment here. Thanks. =)
p.s. Will try to finish incomplete CHAPTER THIRTEEN and post it ASAP.