Chapter 11: The G Word

Laxus held Freed for a long time, the two of them just sitting there on the sofa, enjoying each other's presence.

At one point, Freed jerked as if restless. When it happened again, Laxus asked, "Are you alright?"

"Honestly," Freed with a sad chuckle, "I'm trying not to nod off."

"Trouble sleeping?"

"I never got around to the sleeping part," Freed admitted.

Laxus stretched back and guided Freed's head down into his lap. It felt as natural as breathing, and lightness swept through his body at that realization. Freed didn't pull away, didn't resist, didn't ask questions. Green eyes closing, he relaxed as if for the first time in his life.

Laxus ran his fingers through Freed's hair in slow strokes and heard his breath even out immediately. He really was exhausted.

As the script mage's expression went slack, Laxus could see peace settle over him. With long legs stretched across the sofa and one hand curled against Laxus's thigh, he looked natural in a way Laxus had never seen him: more vulnerable, his careful control gone.

Like this, Freed looked simultaneously strong and so much more: he wasn't trying to conceal his proficiencies like he usually did. While Freed was considerably shorter than Laxus, he was all hardness: muscle and bone with nothing extra. Freed's attractiveness was in his cut figure; in long fingers with thick calluses telling the story of both sword and written word; and in an intellect that could keep up with any mind, in or outside of battle. Looking at him now, it was like he could see all of Freed, from that beautiful brain to his dedicated loyalty—all of it coded into the body in Laxus's lap.

Laxus smiled with a warmth he could finally acknowledge.

I'm gay. The word felt right. It was terrifying, full of dark promises, but he could also hear all the good things in it, too. Gay meant feeling love; feeling joy; feeling connection. It meant being able to be himself and not afraid. Gay meant he could care about Freed.

Right now, he felt truly happy.

He didn't know how long he sat there, Freed's head in his lap, watching the rune mage sleep with a soft smile on his face.

A bang on the door made him jerk, and he squeezed Freed to his chest without thinking. When he realized Freed was rubbing his eyes and trying to rise, Laxus eased his grip and Freed leaned against his shoulder. Looking around in post-sleep confusion, Freed ran a hand through his hair.

"Is that…?"

"I've got it," Laxus said.

As he rose, his hand brushed over Freed's leg, making Freed yelp. It was exactly the same noise he'd made the first time Laxus had met his 'anonymous lover' and reached out to touch him in the dark, and it made him smile.

When he opened the front door, Bickslow and Ever gave him hard, scrutinizing looks. The first thing Laxus noticed was that they'd eschewed visor and glasses, leaving their eyes bare. Oh hell.

"What's up?" he asked, smiling considerably less.

"Are you okay?" Bickslow looked him up and down.

"Yes."

"Freed looked like he was going to kill." Bickslow shuddered nervously.

"Does my soul look dead to you?"

"No," Bickslow sulked, but Ever rolled her eyes.

"Where is he?" she demanded, trying to push past.

Laxus blocked her path.

"Sleeping."

Laxus winced as they both fixed him with startled expressions. Sleeping. With you. Together.

"He's been having a hard time lately," Ever said slowly.

"Yeah, I know." Laxus squinted down at the front step. "I think he's okay now."

"What happened between you two?" Bickslow asked, as Ever tried to shush him.

"We got in a fight," Laxus growled. "We're over it now."

Both teammates froze, staring at him as if waiting for more, and Laxus narrowed his eyes.

"I fucked up. He had a fit. I apologized. We're good now. Everything's back to normal."

"The rest isn't our business," Ever said, in a way that indicated she thought it was.

"No, it isn't."

Sighing, Ever tugged on Bickslow's arm. "Let Freed rest. He hardly slept this last week."

Wait...all week?

Bickslow resisted Ever's pull. "Are you sure you two are going to be okay?"

Ever and Laxus shot him looks, Laxus's predatory.

"You think I can't handle his anger? Or take care of him, for that matter? He's a teammate, for gods' sakes. Does nobody believe in my capabilities?"

"We believe you," Bickslow said, raising his hands. "Calm the hell down. Let us know when he's doing okay."

As Ever dragged him down the steps, she called back, "He really did have everyone worried. I'm glad he's alright."

"Me too," Laxus muttered.

When he closed the door and turned around, Freed was leaning back into the sofa watching him.

"Got them to go away," Laxus grunted, while Freed's mouth quirked like he was holding back a chuckle.

"I noticed."

Laxus smiled.

"Still tired?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Freed said quickly. "The nap was refreshing."

Laxus's brows drew down.

"Ever said you haven't slept this week."

Freed's smile faltered.

"It's been…long," he said.

Striding over, Laxus sat down next to him, not sure how to apologize for everything, but Freed leaned his head on Laxus's shoulder again and everything else became superfluous.

"Do you think," Laxus asked after a minute, "they'll realize I'm different?"

Freed started as if he'd fallen asleep again and Laxus instantly felt guilty. Goddamn, here was Laxus bringing up his stupid insecurities, while Freed needed rest from him.

"We're a team." Freed yawned. "So they might, depending on if…we're…something. But they won't judge you."

Laxus growled low in his throat. I judge myself.

And what did 'something' mean? Was Freed saying 'if' out of consideration, assuming Laxus might not want to be together, or was it because Freed himself wasn't sure he wanted it?

"I think I'm the only one who knows you're homophobic," Freed murmured, voice drifting. "Were. Were homophobic. So nobody will think it…hypocritical if you date a man."

"I dunno; I'm still pretty damn scared of being gay," Laxus muttered, half to himself.

"Laxus." Freed put a hand on his arm, those hard fingers skimming over Laxus's skin and making him break out in gooseflesh. "It's going to be okay."

Wrapping Freed in his arms, Laxus pulled him against his chest and, throwing his insecurity to the wind, he kissed Freed's hair. Freed sighed. Happy.

Gods, Laxus wanted him. Not his body, but the whole person. Wanted him so badly that the tension was building back up inside him. How exactly did this work? Laxus had never asked a man out, nor a person he had such a heaping crush on for that matter, for whom his intentions went beyond a first date…

But these thoughts weren't in need of resolution right this moment, because Freed was drooping again, breaths sluggish.

"So tired," Freed murmured, and he truly had to be if he was admitting it.

"Just rest."

Laxus frowned a little when Freed pulled them to their feet instead, though the rune mage made no effort to get Laxus to let go of him—not that the Dragon Slayer would've. Freed moved toward the bedroom.

"What?" Laxus faltered.

"Just to lie down." Freed looked away, a nervous tremor running through him. "I'm exhausted and you look tired… Come lie down with me."

When they lay down on the narrow futon, Freed curled alongside Laxus without hesitation. The rune wizard fit perfectly against him, his forehead against Laxus's chin.

Laxus pulled Freed into himself and fell asleep with Freed snoring against his chest.

Laxus woke up when Freed rose to get a glass of water. Following, Laxus leaned on the doorframe watching him. He had a pert ass. Firm, graceful movements. Freed turned around, saw him looking, and smirked.

Propping himself against the counter opposite, Freed stared at him and Laxus stared back.

"You asked if Ever and Bickslow would notice," Freed said. "Laxus, tell me what you want. How do you want to hide this—or do you?"

Laxus released a heavy sigh.

"I'm not sure," he said honestly. "I don't want the guild to know. I can't…just no. When it comes to the team, I don't know how to tell them. I've said for so long I'm straight; it's embarrassing to 'change my mind.'"

"Okay," Freed said. "If you don't want people knowing, just don't tell people. As long as you don't bring any men to the guild, you'll be fine."

Laxus's lips tipped up in a smile. "Easy."

"There are a few other people of concern," Freed said, walking over until they stood chest to chest.

Laxus cocked his head.

"They'll smell us on each other."

Oh. He looked down at their feet, taking Freed's hands, thankful this touch was okay.

"Is it okay if we get rid of the scents?" he asked. "I can't handle people knowing this about me yet, Freed. I'm still getting used to thinking of this as alright."

"The Dragon Slayers and their mates would be discreet," Freed pointed out. "Except for Natsu, and I'm pretty sure you can shut him up."

Laxus grunted, a sad smile climbing his mouth.

"I'm sorry."

Freed frowned, gripping Laxus's fingers. "Why?"

"I can't deal with coming out. I don't think you're—we're disgusting: I just…"

"Have to re-train your brain," Freed filled in smoothly. "I figured. Overcoming ideas that were beaten into you…it's one of the hardest things a person can do."

He was so grateful Freed understood that.

Freed's expression turned practical. "I should go to the guild. I've been worrying Mira. And Ever won't be satisfied until she sees for herself I'm not as haggard as yesterday."

"How haggard were you?"

"Let's just say I hope you never have to see me like that."

Something foreign cracked under Laxus's sternum at the words. When he pulled Freed flush against him, Freed's expression jumped in surprise.

"If I'd been there, I would've taken care of you," Laxus said.

Freed had the audacity to laugh. "It's my job to take care—"

"Stop it," Laxus growled. "You don't have to carry the entire fucking world on your shoulders, Freed."

Freed's mouth opened and closed a few times, his eyes terribly sad.

"Let's go to the guild," he said at last, but Laxus continued to glare. "What?"

"This is what I want. You." Laxus's voice rose with his heartbeat. "I'm not going to hurt you or— Whatever it is you think I'm doing, I'm not. I'm trying to be honest about everything this time. Do you not believe me?"

"I do…"

"Then why are you brushing me off? I care about you."

"I'm not trying to." Freed bit his lip. "I'm not good at letting people take care of me."

"Freed." He swallowed. "I want to be with you."

Freed's eyes widened, both disbelieving and desperate.

"What do you mean?" he whispered.

Laxus heard his pulse speed up. He could smell every nuance of Freed's scent, could feel Freed's hands sweating in his. When he reached up to touch Freed's face, the man gasped, chest rising unevenly like he'd forgotten how breathing worked.

Laxus tipped Freed's head back and kissed him.

Freed's heart crashed and he gripped Laxus tightly. Freed was enthusiastic in kissing him, making Laxus feel loved as Freed let his need show.

It took a couple seconds before Freed let Laxus between his lips, trying to control the kiss but finally surrendering to Laxus's slow exploration of his mouth. As he melted into Laxus's touch, the Dragon Slayer threaded his fingers through Freed's hair and drew his head to the side for more access, rewarded with a soft groan.

When Laxus let up, Freed's pupils were dilated.

"Oh," Freed whispered.

"See? Why wouldn't you want me doing that to you every day?"

"I—I would like that."

"So let up on being perfect."

"Okay." Freed smiled. "I've spent too long worrying about being good enough."

Blinking, Laxus held Freed at arm's length.

"For what?"

"Um." Freed blushed. His words came out tiny and fast. "You,nowlet'sgototheguildalready."

Bubbles rose through the lightning mage's body. He grinned broadly.

"What was that?"

"Shut up." Freed tried to duck away, but Laxus wrapped his arms around him.

"No really," Laxus teased. "Who did you want to be good enough for?"

"You've got a big enough head already," Freed muttered.

"Yet somehow you managed to fit it up your ass. Oh, you meant the other head."

Freed choked, and Laxus didn't think victory had ever tasted so sweet.

"I'm getting you back for that."

"You've gotten me on my back a lot recently," Laxus replied.

Freed shut his eyes. "I can't believe you're beating me at a game of innuendo when I'm the flamboyant one."

Laxus pushed Freed's hair behind his ear as an excuse to touch his face. "This is the result of me keeping all those dirty thoughts pent up for so long," he said.

"Not dirty," Freed said, moving into his embrace. "Clean and good."

Laxus held him for a long time, Freed's grip around his waist tight enough to stifle his breath, and Laxus loved it. This was real: Freed wasn't going away.

"Freed," he said, brushing his fingers through strands of green. "Would you go out with me?"

Freed stilled.

Shit. Laxus's pulse crashed like thunder.

"You just had to ask first," Freed chuckled.

The Dragon Slayer could've laughed in relief.

"Well, you got to have sex with me first."

"Funny, I recall you being there too," Freed snorted.

"Not the same." Laxus ran a finger slowly down Freed's face to stroke his lips, thrills shivering up his body. "That kiss just now…"

"Felt different?"

"Better."

Apparently it was a good answer, because Freed grabbed him and kissed him, long and slow, every second lasting an hour. Laxus couldn't remember when Freed's hands cupped his face, but when they separated, the Dragon Slayer was panting from Freed caressing his scar. The sweet touches ached in a happy, needing way. So this is being romantically attracted to someone.

"Freed," he said when he could speak again, "you didn't actually answer me."

"Of course I'll go out with you." Freed smacked his arm. "You didn't even need to ask."

"I actually did. I won't do this halfway. I've hurt you a lot over the years: you have to let me undo that. Let show you what I really think of you."

"I don't have to do anything," Freed corrected, smiling. "But I'm eager to find out."

They hugged again, Laxus leaning his head against Freed's. Freed rubbed his arm. "Guild now?"

"Scents first."

"Right."

Laxus made sure to kiss Freed again at that point, which turned into hands roaming and pulling away with regret, only to start again.

"This is fucking hard," Freed grumbled, regretfully letting go of Laxus's shirt.

Laxus opened his mouth to let out a spicy retort, but Freed shoved a palm over his lips, laughing.

"No. Don't tempt me."

They showered—separately, or they really wouldn't have gone anywhere—and then Laxus ruined it by kissing Freed again. (He justified it since they always smelled like each other a little.) Eventually, they walked out Freed's door.

Chapter 12: A Test

A/N: Those naive darlings, they're not out of the woods yet. xD