I was away for a while but I'm hoping someday you'll forgive me
Though I don't deserve it, I'll cherish it well if you give me one of your new starts
Just one more last chance, I swear that I'll earn it if you front me for now
I'm good for it I swear, I'm better now I swear
It was just before midnight when Enjolras received a phone call from Feuilly. He was still at the bar with some of their friends. He sighed, but of course he would answer. He wasn't one to ignore a call from a friend. "I'll be right back," he informed Combeferre, before he turned to push through the crowd in the direction of the door. Just before the call went to his voicemail, he was able to answer.
"Hello?"
"Enjolras?"
"Sorry I didn't answer more quickly, Feuilly, it was really loud in the bar tonight and-"
"Are you okay to drive?"
"Yeah, I haven't had much to drink, I already told Combeferre I could drive-"
"Come to R and Jehan's apartment. Now. It's an emergency." Enjolras was sprinting from his post outside the bar to Combeferre's car before Feuilly had even finished the sentence. The urgency in Feuilly's voice was clear even through the alcohol-induced slurring. Enjolras fumbled for the spare key he knew Combeferre had hidden in one of the wheel wells. Combeferre would forgive him for stealing his car later.
"What did he do?" Unfortunately, Enjolras didn't have to specify the person he knew was the cause of the emergency. There was silence on the other end of the line. "Damn it, Feuilly, what the fuck is going on?"
Feuilly sounded embarrassed when he answered. Enjolras was in command of Combeferre's car, flying toward the apartment. "None of us are sober enough to drive to the hospital, we think Grantaire needs his stomach pumped or something…drank too much."
In earlier days, they'd persecute people, they'd carry them off, and hobble their legs
For lesser offenses, than how I have harmed you, and still you allow me to walk free of pain
"Is there a particular reason you didn't call an ambulance?"
"We figured you'd get here quicker."
"I will, but seriously?" Enjolras was secretly flattered.
A few minutes later, Combeferre's car screeched to a halt in the yard in front of Grantaire's building with deep tire tracks imprinted in the grass behind it. Enjolras didn't have time to deal with things like parking spaces and sidewalks. Jehan, Courfeyrac and Feuilly had wrapped Grantaire in a blanket and carried him outside to wait. They had just gotten there when Enjolras pulled up.
Enjolras got out of the car, opened the back door, and started barking orders and asking questions.
"Courfeyrac, call Combeferre and explain this to him. He's probably going to need a cab home."
"You want me to tell him you took his car?" Courfeyrac asked. Enjolras nodded, and Courfeyrac disappeared back inside.
"Feuilly, has he thrown up yet? How long has he been unconscious?" Jehan and Feuilly had just settled Grantaire across the back seat.
"No, he hasn't, and we really don't know. We thought he was just asleep like usual," Feuilly answered bashfully.
"Alright." Enjolras nodded calmly. "You both have to stay here with Courfeyrac. Or if you leave, take him. Stick together. You need to text everyone and tell them I have him and they shouldn't panic. I'll tell you when I know anything." They nodded in agreement.
Enjolras returned to the car, made sure Grantaire was buckled in, and drove like the demons of hell were chasing him to the closest hospital.
This, unfortunately, wasn't the first time Enjolras had been in this situation. He sighed as he waited impatiently at a stop light, glancing in the rear view mirror at Grantaire. He wasn't sure who else knew about the other two times this had happened, but he was positive he didn't want there to be a fourth time.
One way or another, all of the friends made it to the bar where Combeferre, Bahorel, Cosette, Joly and Bossuet were stationed. When they were kicked out at closing, they relocated to a 24-hour McDonalds a few blocks away. They were scattered over a few booths, and Eponine sat at one end by herself, pretending to drink a milkshake someone got for her. Probably Cosette, she thought, but she wasn't entirely sure. She watched the group of people she had come to call her family, and a sad smile formed on her face. She was truly happy to see Marius and Cosette; she knew deep down it never would have worked out between her and Marius.
Though I punish myself, I will never settle the debts I've incurred
For scorning the face of absolute beauty and measureless grace
And though I once mocked you, I'm dying to pay for it now
Courfeyrac slid over in his seat so he was close to Eponine. "I wanted to apologize," he said. "I feel responsible for this…I'm so sorry." Eponine hugged him, letting him know that she didn't think he was to blame.
"Will you come have a smoke with me?" she asked into his ear. He agreed, and a few minutes later they were shivering in the chilly late-night air, trying to light their cigarettes. Courfeyrac cupped his hands so Eponine could light hers, and he expertly lit his off of hers. They stood in silence, but it wasn't awkward. They had become close in the time she had been with Grantaire.
"Courf, I have to tell you something," Eponine said after a few minutes. "I'm leaving."
He was coming down from being drunk earlier that night, and blinded by grief and guilt. Eponine's confession only confused him further. "Why? What do you mean?"
"I'm staying until we know he's okay. Then I'm gone."
"Gone where?"
"I haven't decided yet. But I won't be back."
Courfeyrac put his cigarette out on the wall and dropped it. "You can't," he begged. "Please don't leave us. Don't leave him. He loves you, you know." He scuffed his shoe into the pavement.
Eponine felt her heart start to crack, threatening to break into a million pieces. "That's why I have to go. Before I hurt him more than I already have. He doesn't deserve that." Courfeyrac glared at her. "Please, Courf, promise me you'll make sure he's okay."
"It should be you making sure he's okay," he accused.
"I know," she whispered. One more stress fracture and surely her heart would shatter.
Courfeyrac suddenly picked up his phone, answering a call. He talked in one-word sentences and the call was over quickly. "It was Enjolras," he said. "Grantaire is going to be fine. Hospital said he was no worse than any of the other 20 college kids whose stomachs they have to pump every weekend."
"Really?"
He nodded. "Yeah, no brain damage or anything crazy like that. Enjolras gets to bring him home in the morning…If Combeferre doesn't drive to the hospital and kill him for taking his car first." Courfeyrac laughed for a second before he remembered how pissed he was at Eponine. "I guess you can leave now," he said. Eponine grimaced at the disappointment in his tone, but she walked away just the same.
Grantaire woke up the next morning feeling like his body was on fire and paralyzed at the same time. He looked around the unfamiliar room, finding Enjolras sprawled on what would have been another patient's bed on the other side of the room, his blonde curls visible over the top of a newspaper.
"Enjolras?" he tried to say. His throat was dry and the word came out as a strangled gasp.
"Glad you're awake, you fucking idiot," Enjolras said. "You could really hurt yourself, you know." He got up from the bed and handed a bottle of water to his friend.
Grantaire just put the bottle on the table beside him, and put his pillow over his face and groaned into it. He peeked out from under it to ask, "Did I get arrested? A public intoxication citation?"
"Unfortunately, you didn't, it probably would have taught you a lesson," Enjolras said. Grantaire wasn't sure if he was joking or not. There were purple circles under his eyes and Grantaire thought he looked exhausted.
"Did you bring me here from my apartment? The last thing I remember is Courfeyrac trying to make me eat Chinese food." Grantaire paused for a few seconds, trying to piece together the fragments of memories floating around his mind. "Oh. Eponine…dumped me, I think."
So hand me the rocks to help weigh me down
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To the end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get
Enjolras frowned. "Yeah, Feuilly called me. Sorry about Eponine. I don't know the whole story…I don't think anyone actually does, really. We just know you guys got into a fight or something. Cosette and Marius said there was a misunderstanding but it was cleared up."
"Well, that's news to me," Grantaire said bitterly. "I fucking told her I loved her! She basically said it wasn't enough for her and she left my apartment. Has she been by?"
The hope in his voice saddened Enjolras. "No." A nasty thought crossed Enjolras' mind. "Did you do this to get her attention?"
"No! No, I just got carried away. I drank…a lot. You'd think I would know better by now," Grantaire mused.
"Well, that's a relief at least."
"Don't change the subject, Enjolras. Is she really that mad at me?"
The blonde sighed. "I don't know what happened. I guess this morning she told Courfeyrac she was leaving, for good or something, and she hasn't responded to anyone since."
Grantaire felt the pain all over again. "What is so fucking wrong with me, Enjolras? Marius dumped her, which is a damn mess in itself, and she stayed even though it meant seeing him every day." A realization hit him. I'm worse to be around than the guy whose family made her get a fucking abortion. How is that even possible? Grantaire was overcome with nausea, and Enjolras shoved a trash can under his face just in time.
As if on cue, Grantaire's phone buzzed from the bedside table. Enjolras handed it to him, and took the trash can and immediately called for a nurse. The message was from Cosette: R, we're going to find her, I promise.
Grantaire held his phone out to Enjolras so he could read the message. "Should I tell her to stop looking? I don't even know if I should bother."
"Do you love her?"
The question took Grantaire off guard, so he blurted the first thing that came to mind. "Yeah, I do. I love how her eyelashes touch her cheeks when she is sleeping, and how she steals all the blankets at night and blames it on me. I think it's cute when she wears my clothes without telling me, and I don't even get mad when she finishes the shampoo or eats half of the food in my apartment-" Grantaire realized how he was rambling, and who he was rambling to, and he blushed as he cut himself off.
Enjolras, despite the circumstances, laughed. "I'm pretty sure you gave Marius hell for babbling about Cosette kind of like you just did about Eponine. But I think that's enough indication that no, you should let Cosette find her. Eponine seems to trust her."
"If I didn't owe you for bringing me here, I'd be telling you to fuck off for that Marius comment right about now," Grantaire replied. He finally picked up the water bottle and started drinking.
Enjolras ignored that. "Do you feel well enough to convince the nurse to let me take you home?"
"Not really, but can we try anyway?"
"Absolutely. Combeferre really wants his car back," Enjolras snickered.
When Eponine left her friends at McDonalds, she made her way as fast as she could to Grantaire's apartment. She knew it would be empty for a while, and she wanted to remove every trace of herself from the rooms. She felt a lump in her throat rise as she let herself into the apartment, and left her key hanging on the key hook on the wall.
Eponine went straight to Grantaire's room, where the most damage was done. She found the biggest duffle bag in sight, and started to erase herself. She took pictures off of the walls, her cereal out of the kitchen, and anything else she could find that could remind Grantaire of what they had, or what they lacked.
I wasn't well for a while, I savored the things that I knew were sure to destroy me
And that seemed to hold me, that seemed to carry me
Where I couldn't go on the strength of my own
Well, I should've known that gets me nowhere
I've learned that now I swear
When she was done, she gathered up the bags and called Azelma. "Hey, I know you're not here right now, but can you ask your roommate to let me in your apartment?"
"Is everything alright?"
"Please come back, Zelma. I need help. Things are really, really bad. I just need somewhere to stay until after finals, then I can go."
"Just knock when you get there, I'll call her and have her let you in. I'll be back first thing in the morning, okay?"
Eponine thanked God for Azelma's generosity and slung her bags over her shoulder. She looked at her key hanging by itself on the hook, and shut the door behind her as she left. The walk to Azelma's apartment wasn't long. She collapsed into her friend's bed, and finally fell asleep for the first time since Cosette called her nearly 24 hours ago.
So hand me the rocks to help weigh me down Well, I wasn't sure that I could
And tether my legs with a cord tightly bound
To then end of an anchor thrown into the sound
And test me to see if I will rise against the worst that it can get
But, I can
So I heard this song, End of an Anchor by Dashboard Confessional, for the first time a few weeks ago. It seriously reminded me of the Grantaire/Enjolras relationship that usually occurs in modern AU stories. Like…Grantaire is sorry for screwing up again but Enjolras always gives him more chances to be friends. Or more if that's what the author calls for. Hell, that's basically how they are in the book.