Tiasal woke up trembling, her skin clammy, and the sun hadn't even rose yet. Her muscles clenched up uncomfortably and she bit her lip, but she was confused by the heat she was against. Had she fallen asleep near the fire?
Then she remembered.
She slipped out from her father's warm arms, the feel of the cold air hitting her skin burning her. Her teeth chattered and she wanted to wake the goblin up to cry, but she knew the cure. She had it.
She stepped on the floor, whimpering at the cold.
"Tell your father. He'll help you."
The voice sounded so much like Right-Eye's, but it wasn't. She'd banished him. She never wanted to see him again.
She staggered to her pants on the floor, kneeling and fiddling with the pocket, hands shaking violently. She pulled out the needle she had stolen from the cabinet last night, and for lack of a band, she tied her pants leg tight around her bicep until the veins popped again.
She stabbed herself, but she missed, and she had to draw back again, trying to calm the trembles in her hand in vain.
She got the vein the second time.
Tiasal released the liquid, taking a deep breath, and took the needle out, glancing to the sleeping goblin nervously before shoving the needle under the armoire. It took a minute, but the trembles and horrible sensations disappeared, replaced by a mild fuzziness in her brain that made her feel a little like she was on a cloud.
She looked up at the window. It was still dark, not even a light blush of dawn giving away the time.
The goblin stirred sleepily. "Why are you awake?"
His words were slurred and only half-conscious, but Tiasal still flinched as though she were caught being bad.
"…" She shuffled towards the bed, her ears back, and the goblin pushed himself up a little, blinking slowly.
"It's too early for you to be up." He gestured her over. "I swear, you sleep more fitfully than your mother…"
Her ears perked and she crept forward, hiding her bleeding arm from him and crawling back on the bed.
"But I guess I shouldn't complain. That's how we fell in love, you know."
She stared at him, ears swiveling to hear him better, and the slightest smile crossed his face before he ran his hand through her hair.
"You look so much like her." He slipped his arms around her, hugging her close. It felt nice. He was warm, like her aunt and uncle when she crawled in bed with them. His voice was a little distorted by sleep, but that was okay. It was still there.
Tiasal took a breath. He smelled like old books and rosemary.
Her throat closed up.
She remembered that smell. Not consciously, but some part of her in the back of her head recognized it.
She blinked fast, taking another deep breath, and snuggled a little closer.
"He hates you. You know he does. He'll betray you just like his brother."
"I'll tell you more about your mother in the morning." He ran his hand through her hair again. "I think that you should know more about her. Us. The Order never knew the full story."
Tiasal nodded, snuggling close, and waited until she fell asleep.
It was early. Even earlier than the servant children got up.
But Tiasal didn't mind. She was an early bird, at any rate.
"Here, I'll make you a deal. I'll tell you more about your mother if you tell me more about yourself. That'll require a little speech on your part, by the way."
Tiasal swung her legs over the edge of her bed, nodding eagerly. She didn't like talking, but she'd make an exception if it meant she'd be finding out more about her parents. "Don't sugarcoat."
It hurt her throat to say it (wow, her voice was out of practice), but it got the point across. Redcloak looked down at her, arching an eyebrow before clasping his cloak at his neck. "Alright. I don't think your mother would approve of it anyway."
He smiled nostalgically, his eye getting distant for a moment. "She was an amazing woman."
Tiasal nodded, scooching so she was even closer to the edge of the bed. Her father sat beside her, leaning against the headboard and playing with her hair gently. She leaned into the touch. She liked it when people stroked her hair.
"She was arrogant and full of herself to be sure, but she was probably the strongest person I've ever met. I guess she had to be—she had a lot to handle." His claws gently scraped against her scalp, giving her goosebumps. She let out an involuntary rumbling purr from her throat, and her father let out a matching sound from his chest. It sent vibrations through his body. She sidled up a little closer so she could feel them. "I'm sorry to say that it wasn't exactly a romantic beginning."
Tiasal shrugged, her expression putting across her feelings pretty well: I didn't think it was.
"She was actually my prisoner." He shifted, averting his eye a little, and hesitated. "…I don't have a right to try to make you think well of me at this point. I'm going to let you judge for yourself, okay?"
Her expression was illegible, so he hoped that was a good sign.
"She wasn't in the best shape. Xykon had given her a nasty beating before I convinced him to keep her for any information she might have, so she wouldn't be able to…" he shifted, sighing softly, "she wouldn't be able to handle the interrogation methods I usually used."
Tiasal cocked her head, her eyes straying to his hands and the long claws at the tips.
He let out a small chuckle. "But I bet she could have. I've never met anyone so perfectly stubborn in my life. I had to keep reminding myself who was in power there. I had to stay in the room if I wanted her to trance at all." His fingers weaved through the purple strands lovingly, but his eye was lost in memory. "Even with all the things she had suffered and the overwhelming circumstances she was facing, she was still so strong and fierce. I swear, it was like I was next to fire when I was with her. She was a force of nature."
He sounded so reverent. It didn't make sense. If what Xykon said was true, then why was he so star struck by her mother? She was an elf.
"He's trying to trick you. He doesn't love you or her and you know it."
A gentle laugh broke into her thoughts. "I was lovesick and I've stayed that way ever since, as you're probably noticing. I was head over heels a long time before she let herself reciprocate the feeling. But it was worth it in the end." He brought her a little closer and affectionately intertwined his fingers in her hair. "Your turn."
"Not much to talk about." Tiasal swallowed, her voice scratching her throat painfully.
"That's okay. Vaarsuvius told me that she had children from her last marriage. Do they treat you well?"
She rolled her shoulders, thinking about it for a moment. "…They love me. And they resent me. But they're good brothers." She cleared her throat again, the scratchiness getting to her. How did people deal with this all the time? "They taught me how to swim."
He nodded, smiling, and ran his hand through her hair. "So you live near water?"
"In a field against a mountain. There's a forest outside it. I swim in the lakes." She rolled her shoulders again, not sure if she should be comfortable with him so close to her.
"It's isolated?"
"They didn't let me past the forest. They never explained why."
His smile faded and he squeezed her shoulder gently. "It's because of my blood. Life's not easy for goblins, and even less so for hybrids." He glanced at the window, gauging the time, before he stood up. "I'm sorry about that. I loved your mother desperately, but I never imagined having a child with her. It was a vicious world for me and my family—it will only be worse for you. You're caught in two worlds and neither will recognize you as theirs."
She was quiet, her eyes impossible to read and her ears devoid of the usual twitches.
"I promise that I'll help you, though. No matter what happens, you're mine." His hand went to her back, and she knew that he wanted to say more, but he drew away. "You should go do your chores. I don't want you to be alone with that man, and if he tries to get you separated from the others, tell me. No matter what I'm doing, if you feel like you're in trouble, just come running."
She looked up at him and nodded, eyes still guarded and veiled.
"And you don't need to go back there tonight. Just come to my room." Redcloak turned away, straightening his armor so it wasn't pressing uncomfortably against his lungs. "I don't think that Xykon needs to know about this arrangement."
Tiasal shook her head, shuffling off the bed and giving him a long, calculating look. It wasn't like Vaarsuvius's cold, haughty glares. It was like quicksilver—slipping into every crevice, taking out all your ideas, and quickly destroying anything left.
When he started getting unsettled, she dipped her head in thanks and scampered out of the room.
"Where were you last night, Clash?"
Tiasal looked up from her scrubbing at the big-bellied Snow. Her platinum blond braids rested on her swollen breasts, so close to white that it almost blended with her dress. She wasn't wearing the usual rough brown shirt and pants ensemble—an obvious sign of the cleric's favor.
Tiasal shrugged evasively, looking back down at the floor and scrubbing away the dirt. Leaves crept closer despite Snow's severe mood and started cleaning the hall window they were in front of. It was a nice gesture, but not a needed one. Leaves was terrified of Snow. Tiasal wasn't.
"Master was mad that you were gone."
"Snow, don't…" Leaves murmured softly, not looking at her and only concentrating on the ice and frost that caked the edges of the glass.
Tiasal scowled at the ground, but just continued scrubbing the dirt from the grout.
"It's selfish, you know."
Tiasal looked up, frowning in confusion, and Leaves turned around, squeezing her sponge hard enough so that the ice crystals stabbed in her palms. "Snow, leave her alone."
"When you make him angry, we have to deal with the consequences." Snow rested her hands on her swollen belly, glaring. "He hurts all of us."
Tiasal sat up, putting her scrubbing brush in her lap.
"He doesn't touch you, so why are you making him touch us more?"
Leaves twisted the sponge again, the only pointy ear visible under her hair twitching wildly. "Come on. Please. It's not safe."
Snow's expression was getting blacker. "Let her talk for herself. She doesn't talk." She gently nudged Tiasal's leg with her foot. "Are you mute?"
Tiasal scowled and looked back down at the ground, scrubbing and crawling forward.
"Why do you think you're better than us?" Snow nudged her again, more insistent. "Having a daddy doesn't make you better. Being part goblin definitely doesn't make you better."
The hybrid's ears twitched.
She crawled forward a little more, catching sight of a sliver of white in the gray wall. She leaned down, looking at the white only to see that it was inside a crevice between the rocks. It was a partially decomposed rat.
"You should appreciate it, you know. Having a daddy who protects you from him. Of all the kids here, you probably deserve it the least." She finally kicked Tiasal's leg, provoking a surprised yelp, and Leaves jerked forward, getting between the kids and twisting the sponge so hard it was tearing.
"Snow, stop—"
"Look at what you did to us last night." Snow went on one knee to balance her giant belly and pulled Leaves' pants down so forcefully she stumbled and fell over.
Tiasal got a look at her scratched up, lashed thighs, but there was something wrong between her legs. It was all… red and swollen.
Leaves let out a shriek, scrambling up and pulling her pants on again, tears streaming, and she sprinted down the hall, dropping her sponge and quickly disappearing.
"YOU DID THAT TO US! ALL NIGHT!"
Tiasal didn't really know what she was doing until she did it.
She jumped towards the wall, tearing the rat corpse from the crevice, and with a flash of gold light, she threw it at the human girl.
The undead rat let out a mad squeal, landing on the end of one of her braids and digging its bone claws into the hair, clawing her face.
Snow jerked away, screaming, and grabbed the rat, throwing it against the wall. The impact was hard enough to snap off the edge of its tail bones before it fell to the ground, but it immediately came for her again, squealing.
She stomped on it, breaking the spine in half.
Tiasal tucked her legs under herself and pounced, landing the girl on her back with the hybrid on top, and pressed her hands hard against that big swollen belly she claimed made her in charge. Gold flared from her palms and started burning away the cloth to the skin underneath, the flesh immediately starting to bubble at the intensity of the heat.
Snow let out a wild shriek of pain, nails clawing blindly to get the hybrid off, but Tiasal locked her legs against the human's hips, pressing her boiling hands further into the belly, making blisters form and pop.
"She needs to be punished."
The skin started getting black. It was crispy under her palms, starting to flake and peel like well-done roasted chicken skin, cracking with red between the brittle plates. Something was kicking under her hands, hard, desperate, and she couldn't help a small smile at the wretched wails coming from that blasted monstrous—
"Tiasal, STOP!"
The intensity of the voice made her jump, reeling, and fall flat on her back, the wind knocked out.
Snow's howling ceased, becoming stifled whimpers as she writhed, trying to not touch the blistered and blackened handprints on her stomach.
Tiasal sat up, staring at the marks on the otherwise completely white skin. The human girl's face was twisted up in pain, but she was staying quiet, curling up and examining the damage, biting her lip to keep the pathetic sounds in her throat silent.
The hybrid stood up, walking to the girl's side and looping one white arm around her shoulders and snugly putting her hand at Snow's waist, helping her stand up despite the weight in her belly.
"Not… Master. Don't take me to Master."
Tiasal shook her head reassuringly, glancing at the dark-faced girl standing over the rat corpse, her arms crossed, a chill coming from her body. For a moment, she thought Snow was looking at her too, but that wasn't possible. The dark-faced girl was one of those things that no one else saw.
Snow hissed softly in pain, straightening out so her own flesh didn't fold on itself and touch the handprints. Tiasal just readjusted the arm around her shoulders and started walking down the hall, looking down at the stone under her skin. It glowed before a blue arrow pointed forward, ready to lead her to who she needed to see.
She resisted the urge to scratch it before looking back up and going in the indicated direction.
The only sounds either of them made were the shuffles of feet and the occasional hiss from Snow. In Tiasal's opinion, she was being very restrained. Most of the children here immediately went to crying or swearing when they got hurt.
The stone started burning in her skin when they began to pass an innocuous wooden door. She stopped, suppressing a hiss and willing the burning away, and pushed the door open, staggering in with Snow.
The kids shrank a little at the intimidating rows of book shelves towering several feet above them, nearly touching the ceiling, and their shoddy leather shoes slid on the stone floor. Redcloak was standing with his blind side facing them, examining one of the many books and flipping it open. "Tsukiko, if you're here to taunt me again, I have work to do and so do you."
Tiasal's ears twitched. "…Father?"
He stiffened, turning his face so he could see the two children. "By the Dark One!"
Redcloak knelt by the kids, putting the book down and examining the handprints on Snow, letting her sit on the floor. "What happened?"
Tiasal stepped away from Snow, rubbing her own arm and keeping her eyes on the ground. "…I got mad."
He looked up at her in shock, eliciting a wince and averted eyes. "You did this?"
She nodded.
"…" Redcloak looked at the wounded girl, resting his hand on her shoulder. "Cure Serious Wounds."
Red magic passed to Snow, making the burns fade and weave in on themselves, healing up completely.
"There we go. Do you want me to check to see if the baby is alright?"
There was a tightness in his voice and the tendons in his neck were tense ropes, but he kept his expression smooth. Tiasal looked up curiously, cocking her head. Baby?
Snow shrugged, looking away. "I don't like being touched."
"I understand." He took his hand away from her shoulder. "But if you start bleeding from between your legs or you think you're going to have premature contractions, come see me or any other cleric you think can help. At your age, it can be dangerous to try to tough that kind of stuff out."
"Okay."
She pressed her hands against the healed skin, then quickly turned around and scampered out.
Tiasal made no movement to follow her. She had a feeling that Redcloak would want to speak with her.
"How long have you been able to do magic?"
Redcloak stood up and closed the door.
Tiasal shrugged evasively, rubbing her hot palms against her shirt.
"Did she hurt you first?"
She shook her head.
"Did you mean to hurt her?"
"…" She nodded.
Her gaze was still on the floor, so she didn't see what he did, but she heard him sigh before he knelt in front of her so they were at eye-level. "Tiasal, I hope you realize the severity of what you did. Do you know why her stomach is so big?"
She shook her head.
"She's pregnant. Probably pushing her third term. You might have caused a miscarriage or premature labor."
She fiddled her fingers together. She didn't quite understand what any of that meant, but she had an idea. Miscarriage was when someone lost the baby, right? And premature meant too early, so premature labor…
"Look at me."
She looked up, making eye-contact. Redcloak leaned forward a little, grasping her arms tightly. "You can't attack someone who can't protect themselves, no matter how angry you get. You especially can't use magic when the other doesn't have so much as a class level. It's dangerous and you'll end up seriously hurting someone."
The dark-faced girl was whispering in her ear.
"You're a hypocrite."
His eyebrows went up in surprise.
"How many people in Azure City couldn't protect themselves?"
There was a tense pause.
His hands dropped from her arms, landing on the ground, palms down. "Did the Order explain that?"
She shook her head, keeping eye contact, something condescending in her gaze. "You don't need to be told things to know them."
"Tiasal, one thing I hope you've learned about life is that all adults are hypocrites. That's because we don't want children to fall into the same traps we have. Don't take my life and think that that's how you can live—I've made too many mistakes to count, paid dearly for them, and I have no intention of advertising that as a good way to do things."
That made her pause and frown in confusion. "…You're admitting you were wrong?"
"It's complicated, but essentially, yes." Redcloak stood up, putting the forgotten book away on the shelf again. "I've made mistakes. I don't want you to make them too."
He glanced towards the door, frowning, before patting her back gently. "I'd like to talk about this later, but right now, I don't want you to get in trouble if we're caught together. Go and do your chores, and try to avoid that cleric as much as possible." He looked back at her face, stern but not frightening. "And I don't want you to be hurting anymore kids. I don't know how much you understand, but they're all already in pain and unless you get attacked first, things can be solved verbally."
She was reminded of Aunt Haley or Aarindarius or her uncles Roy and Durkon with the scolding. Should she be offended that he was chiding her? He had only known her for a few days.
But… she couldn't deny that it felt weirdly good.
He cracked a small smile and nudged her towards the door. "At least, they can be solved verbally if you decide to talk at some point. Maybe you don't know this, but words are surprisingly good at fixing problems if you actually use them."
She cocked her head, giving a tiny tentative smile, and crept out again, the dark nameless girl at her heels.