good news i will be continuing the story, because i have picked out all of lissa's and rose's future clothing, so the show must go on!

I hope you like this chapter, dont be too sad about Nikolai, he died in for the woman he loved. im very sorry if i offended anyone but it was a sacrafice i needed!

please tell me what you think!

em. xxxx

The spirit world was not what I expected. I expected- well I never really expected much. I was too busy to imagine what it would be like, but this was still a surprise.

The spirit world was literally the same world as ours, you could see everything, hear everything but people could not see you. Right now I was standing above my body, which was laying limp at my feet. My heartbeat was steady, my eyes were closed, I looked, well…. Dead. Which scared me so much because well technically I was.

Flashback.

He looked at me strangely, confused. I think he was still coming to terms with me being able to see him. I motioned behind him. "I need to get in there, where you are" his look showed me that even ghosts apparently though I was crazy. "Nikolai! I need you to take me with you back to the spirit world!" he gave me that rose is crazy look again but he also showed that he was deep in thought, Nikolai…hurry up. He seemed to understand then, I was half expecting a light globe to stick above his head like in the cartoons. He pointed at Dimitri then at me and then at the passageway that just… appeared… I had definitely not noticed that before, so much for damphir senses. I nodded half jumping, he then motioned like he was breaking a stick, it was my turn to question. "what the hell are you on about Nikolai, I have no time to play charades" I saw a ghost of a smile appear on his impassive face as he mouthed the word Disconnect.

That's what Robert had said, Disconnect. His instructions were- forget everything, all that is around you is not anymore, only think of where you want to be and you will be. You see spirits, spirits disconnect from their bodies to come to you, you do the same to them, disconnect. That was when I was a hundred percent positive that victor was telling the truth about his brother, it made no sense to me at the time, but now.. now I had this feeling, like somebody was pulling me upwards, almost like invisible hands. I did what victor told me and I forgot about everything else all I wanted was to be in the spirit world.

I remember when mark had said that it was dangerous to allow ghosts in because the shadow-kissed already walk a thin line between death and life- it wasn't until now did I realize how thin that line must be.

While performing Roberts instructions I a eerie feeling of comfort melted over me, it felt like falling into a blissful sleep, or the daze after having vampire endorphins. As I basked in the beauty of it, I felt myself breaking away, breaking away from the pain- letting everything go and floating on a cloud. I opened my eyes and looked up as Nikolai gave me his hand, ripping away from my body and walking with Nikolai to the tube of darkness. I took a deep breath, this is it. I may never make it back. Besides me the faces of ghosts loomed- urging me forward. I closed my eyes and took a step forward, immersing myself in the icy depths of darkness.

End of flashback

The surprise of the world of the dead only lasted a few seconds before I turned to Nikolai face stained with tears. I brought him into a hug as more tears brimmed and spilled over. "Nikolai, what happened why are you here?" I was surprised he could hear me as I stumbled over my sobs.

"Rose, shh don't cry im okay, its okay"

"No, no your not fine, otherwise you wouldn't be here, what happened?" I gave him my best 'don't mess with me look', it seemed to work. He launched into his story as he dried my face with the end of his shirt.

"There was a Strigori attack at school, about 40 Strigori broke in after a human staked the wards. We have very little guardians in Baia so the novices stepped up, using fire is un-heard of in Russia so far and our fighting skills may be good but they don't match that of someone like you" my breathing had picked up, this couldn't be happening. Guilt surged through me- why didn't I stay? I could have protected them. I could have helped… but it was too late. "So we fell back and retreated to the gym where all the other students were waiting, the teachers having heavily warded the building. On top of that we had guardians and novices at every window and door… but it wasn't enough. The Strigori broke in all at the same time, overpowering us and catching us by surprise. Their target was the group of female moroi and damphirs huddled in the middle who had never trained to fight. The guardians were strong but the Strigori were stronger, they broke through the barrier and lept for the girls, some Strigori snapped their necks right there but most picked them up and casually stole out of the building, slaughtering anybody in their path. I was fighting, but stopped when I saw a Strigori reach for Viktoria, the world stopped" Viktoria, Dimitri's sister. Oh no. please, oh god. "Nikolai, you saved her right? She isn't here, she cant be here". My last words were to myself but the first he answered with the rest of the story, he started up again while trying to pry my tight clasp off his arm. "The Strigori lifted her up- but she put up one hell of a fight, she kicked and punched with all her strength but it wasn't enough. I lunged at him and managed to force his hands open, releasing Vikki, I told her to run but she stopped and stared, she finally listened to me just as the Strigori got a good hold around my neck, I tried rose I really tried to get out of his grip, but it was like iron…" He stopped the story there, we both new he ending. His eyes had glazed over as he was remembering the memory, by the end my arms were around him as I sobbed into his chest. "You saved her; you saved Vikki, Dimitri's sister.. My sister! She could be dead, thank you Nikolai. Thank you".

We stood like that for a few seconds, my arms wrapped around him. Until he pulled back, his hands holding my shoulders. I looked down at my feet, down to my body laying lifeless on the ground and took a deep breath. "Nikolai, I know I have already asked so much of you and I really shouldn't be asking any more but.. I need your help-" before I could finish Nikolai had my hand in his and was leading me away with a knowing glint in his eyes. I was going to ask him where he was taking me, but something about him made me catch my tongue, I was pretty sure he knew what he was doing.

After a couple of minutes though I began to highly doubt that and became more and more restless, I didn't have much time… Nikolai seemed to notice something was up because he came to a standstill and looked into my eyes. "Rose, you have to trust me I know what I'm doing" I stared at him for a few seconds before I answered "I do trust you, but I don't have much time, nikolai he could wake up any second!" He gave me that really annoying do what your told stare as he lifted up one of his eyebrows to add to the comment- which just annoyed me more seeing as I still have not mastered it- and started to pull me forward again as I shut my mouth, blocking off whatever smart ass comment I was about to say.

He kept leading me and my eyes followed my surroundings, I don't know how but the streets of Russia had already materialized away from us, I had no idea when that happened one moment we were walking the fiery nightlife of Novosibirsk and a second later we were walking down a long road…this road felt so, so familiar I tried to remember how we got here or most importantly where we are but I just couldn't quite figure it out, my mind felt like I was reaching for something and I was so close, only centimeters away but I couldn't quite reach…

"Rose, rose? were here" I looked up to Nikolai slowly shaking my arm. I hadn't asked him where we were or what we were doing, I had just trusted him like he had asked. I looked up in astonishment only to come face to face with….me? I was 12 years old and had finally begun training to fight, it was my first day in a one on one battle, my opponent- Stan. I was nervous, extremely so but I didn't let that show, even as a 12 yr old I had my usual rose charm. My class mates were cheering me on, shouting my name and boo-ing Stan. I stepped back getting into the offensive position while stan took the defensive, in the distance I could hear someone say that we start on the count of three, 1…2, I lept up using my two seconds of surprise to lay a right hook just at the tip of his chin, he stumbled backwards but quickly retained his composure, he went for my arm twisting it to the side, it hurt, a lot but I managed to deflect most of the impact by a kick to his stomach, he doubled over and I didn't waste the chance. I thrust my knee into the back of his thigh making his legs buckle, spinning my arm around I pulled him by his shirt bringing both of us to the floor, he tackled me pinning me to the ground, but I was faster. I managed to pry my leg free from his grasp, quickly so he wasn't expecting it I lent up and slammed my leg into his groin, he cried out in pain but I wasn't finished. I rolled him over pressing him up against the mat. Once I got a good hold on both his hands I freed one of mine bringing it in a fist shape and punching him right above the heart. My smile grew as I pretended to twist the 'stake' and push it in harder to his body. Stan was looking at me with emotions written all over his face, anger, hurt, jealousy and pride were visible in his eyes.. but his mouth was plastered with a smirk. I lent down putting my lips next to his ear "I win" I put my hands on his chest and slammed him once more back into the floor then walked out of the gym, it was the middle of class but nobody cared I mean it was rose. As I watched myself take that final step out the door the gym disappeared.

I looked to Nikolai, "what was that?" my voice was shaking a little, he didn't answer and I was about to ask again when new voices interrupted me. They were loud and very familiar, it was Lissa and me…Well almost everyone I knew from my school life was there but i was used to that. We were sitting in a circle drunk out of our minds with few other friends, Jesse and this girl called Megan, while everybody else crowed around listening, we were playing truth or dare…rose style. "Woo I got a good one!" it was Jesse he was laughing hysterically and we had all joined in even though we didn't know the reason. "ah…Kay okay okay, ROSE I dare you too run through the school in your thong and lap dance with the first guardian you..*hic* see" we burst into another round of hysterics, lissa was off her face and was crying fighting to breath, "your on Zeklos". The Memory restarted when I was on the run, the whole crowd was following me, there was no way in hell that they would miss this. We had just reached past the main administration building when a voice cut through our high. "Hathaway, what the hell?" too my delight it was Stan, "Stan, my man!" it was silent except for Lissa's and Jesse's and my drunken laughter. "I demand to know what's going on here!" he took a step forward and that was all that I needed, I snaked out my arm and wrapped it around his waist, "wait and you'll find out" I said with my biggest man eating smile, I untangled my arm from around his waist and brought them both up to wrap around his neck. Slowly I moved them downwards. He seemed frozen, conflict writing all over his face, as I reached his chest I started to rub myself against his legs, my hands kept travelling down until they reached the top of his slacks, I widened my hands so they continued to travel down, I slowly bent down as my palms traveled lower. Once I reached below his knees I changed positions, I swung around so I was pressed against his side. I heard Lissa try to stifle a Laugh when Stan's expression turned from shocked to horrified when I started using him to pole dance. It lasted for about 5 minutes as I watched in pure agony, why was I so stupid? No wonder people called me a slut. I was watching caught up in the moment this was horrible. It lasted a few more seconds before I was back. I looked back to nikolai who seemed slightly amused by It all. "Nikolai? Where are we?" I gave him my best puppy dog eyes, I did not want to get caught back up in one of those memories again. "You know that saying? The one in movie's when people say there life flashed before their eyes; well technically it does…just after you're already dead. This here is your chamber as we like to call it. Its where you re-live all those moments in your life. The ones that make you happy, the ones that make you sad, the ones you regret and the ones you don't". It was a lot to take in, but I didn't want a re-run I had no time to think of all the things that I have done, I needed Dimitri! "this is all very interesting nikolai but how does this help me find Dimitri's soul?" he looked at me as if it was the most obvious question. "its in your heart".

you know you want to press it! please with cherries and whipped cream?