Sorry if this came out later than expected. I hit a short writer's block near the end. I had to rewrite it thrice before I gave up and just went with it.

Next chapter will be the big smut scene, so get ready ;)

Don't forget to R&R~

I am a horrible person.

I kept repeating that to myself, letting it echo across my mind as I lay down on my bed. I had gotten mad at my first actual friend and I felt disgusted with myself. He was just trying to be a good friend but I just ended up making him cry. I felt my eyes begin to water from the thought of what I had done.

I didn't even have a good reason for getting mad. I just felt so… insecure. Hearing about how good he is made me feel incompetent, and that just pissed me off. I guess that that was the effect of being home-schooled – having a perfectionist mother doesn't help either. I didn't want to seem so cold, but it just came out that way. I felt so bad about it that I just kept it up no matter how painful it was to seem pissed at him – I even cried in the bathroom.

I was crying again. It just hurts every time I think of how broken he looked.

I broke him.

I caused him grief.

I made him cry.

I needed to fix this and make things right. I pulled myself together and accessed the only way I knew that I could contact him – Facebook. Once I had logged on, I didn't find him online. I was slightly paranoid about it because I wasn't sure if he wasn't really online, had his chat off, or just had it off to me; I hope it wasn't the latter.

I just sat there for a few minutes watching my friend list, waiting for the hollow gray circle to go green beside Kenny's name. Occasionally, I'd look away hoping that he'd be on once I look back. Time felt like it was flowing slowly, either because of how gently the snow fell outside my window, or how long I've been waiting. I decided to occupy myself and clear my mind with a nice warm shower.

I stripped my clothes and tossed it into the hamper. I entered my bathroom and stepped straight under the shower. I turned it on and savored the searing heat of the water against my skin.

I've always admire my body. I loved how smooth my skin was and how it'd turn red when hot water came into contact with it. I like letting my hands slide along my body and stimulating my pleasure points. I'd always end up with a throbbing boner whenever I did this. I'd grab my shaft and moan as I slowly jerk it off, especially when I graze my exposed head. As one hand was busy pumping, the other would slide up my stomach, sending tingles to the base of my cock, going up and up before letting a single finger rub the nearest nipple.

I'd whimper at the ecstasy and start daydreaming of someone doing these stimulations to me. The person that came up this time was Kenny and I didn't know how to feel about it, but my body did. My hips started thrusting against my hand and I was about ready to lose It. My mind went blank and I let out the strongest orgasm I had ever had. I had to lean on the wall cause my legs felt weak.

I cleaned myself up and finished my shower. I crashed on my bed, completely exhausted and spent and still in my birthday suit. I took one last gaze at my computer. He still wasn't online. I immediately fell asleep afterwards.

I dreamed that I was Hugh Hefner, surrounded by my Playboy Bunnies, all of them with nothing on except their bunny ears and bunny tail buttplugs. There were an equal number of hot nude hunks, cocks fully erect. A huge orgy ensued and I ended up double penetrating a chick with another dude – his cock rubbing against mine in her vagina. It wasn't as satisfying as my previous dreams and I was beginning to lose interest.

Something caught my interest. Out of the crowd, I saw a tall blonde approach. I already knew who it was and it somehow made me harder. He pulled me away and our surroundings slowly faded to black. He stopped and leaned closer to be and gave me a kiss on the cheek before fading away as well. I abruptly woke up afterwards.

I felt like a fucking mess. My cock was fully hard and I noticed that I had only slept for an hour. I stood up and quickly wore clothes, ignoring my boner. I sat back down on my computer chair and checked if Kenny was online, which at this point I was highly doubting. To my surprise, he was finally online. I clicked his name to open the chat window and sent him a message

Kyle: Hey.

I sit there nervously, waiting for his reply or even anything that says he still acknowledges me. I began to lose hope before he sent back a response.

Kenny: Hey.

I guess he was still upset. I felt like such a douche.

Kyle: We need to talk.

Kenny: Sure

I took a deep breath before pouring out my emotions into my typing.

Kyle: I'm sorry for how I acted a while ago. It was a really stupid move.

Kenny: It really was.

I cringed at the thought of him hating me. I hate myself.

Kenny: Care to tell me what was wrong now, or are you gonna do the whole "we're not that close" bullshit?

Kenny: Cause if you are sticking with that crap, then there's no point in talking to you anymore.

I sighed. I didn't want to tell him, but I do owe him an explanation.

Kyle: Well…

Kyle: I kinda got… jealous of you…

Kenny: What?!

Kyle: I got jealous of how good you were in programming. I felt so inadequate that I lashed out on you. I'm really sorry.

Kenny: That's a pretty fucking shallow reason

Kyle: I know… I guess I just expect to be the best. I was raised thinking I was the best. My mother expects me to be Valedictorian.

Kyle: You don't understand how hard it is to be me…

I could feel the tears beginning to form. I took a deep breath before reading what he sent back.

Kenny: I'm sure I don't, but that doesn't mean you're the only one with problems

Kenny: At least you get praised for doing good. I never get praised, only punished. Whether I do good or bad, I always end up getting hurt.

Kenny: You were the first good thing that's happened to me in a while

Kenny: I was expecting something different, but look what happened – I got hurt. Again. All because I was so fucking concerned about you.

I was crying now. I was stupid, more than I realized. I wouldn't be surprised if we stopped being friends.

Kyle: I guess you never want to see me again, huh?

I was bracing myself for his answer, but his response merely baffled me

Kenny: On the contrary, I expect you to be by my side all day long tomorrow.

Kyle: What?

He wasn't making any sense. I just hurt him – made him cry – and yet, he still wants to be friends. We weren't even that close yet.

Kenny: I still wanna hang with you, dude. Honestly, you hurt me no one else has before but you're also the closest friend I've had so far. Something about you just made me tell you stuff that I haven't told anyone before.

I don't know how to react. Have I really had such an impact on him? I thought of my little daydream and actual dream I had this afternoon – I think he's had a big impact on me too, but not in the way I expected him too. I don't love him, I'm sure of that, but I do find him attractive, especially whats hiding under that hood.

Kenny: But I'll be honest, you owe me for the emotional stress you brought me through.

Kyle: Fine. What do you want?

Kenny: Nothing at the moment, but I'll be telling you if I think of something. You can't say no to anything I ask, ok?

Kyle: Within reason, dude. I won't do it unless there's a good reason.

Kenny: Very well. Just so you know, I don't hate you.

I felt a weight lift from my heart. I was relieved. I thought I may have lost my first friend. I guess I underestimated how strong our newfound friendship was.

Kenny: Be right back, buddy. We're being called for dinner.

Kyle: Will you have enough to eat? You did tell me how bad your situation at home is.

Kenny: Oh yeah! I haven't told you yet but I'm sleeping over at Stan's place tonight. He offered to let me stay cause I'd probably freeze to death in my room tonight.

Kyle: That's nice. Go enjoy your decent dinner.

Kenny: From what Stan's dad told me, I think they prepared a feast for me. Talk to you later.

Kyle: See ya.

I was relieved – relieved that he forgave me, relieved that he didn't want to end off our budding friendship and relieved that someone manage to pick him up and take care of him. As much as it made me glad that Stan was helping out Ken in this weather, I felt a pang of jealousy and regret.

Had I not been such a dickhead a while ago, I would have been the one who's house Kenny would be staying at. Maybe I'm not so good at this friend thing. We were friends for barely a day and I had already made my closest friend cry. I knew he already forgave me, but it still goddamn hurt.

I still had to understand how I felt about him. I don't know why, out of everyone in this goddamn school, I had chosen him to be my first friend; it wasn't because he looked like a loner like me, but there was something about him that interested me. I wished that he didn't have to wear that hood all the time since he looked so gorgeous underneath, yet I didn't want him to lose the hood since he said that that sight was reserved for my eyes only.

Then there's also his appearances in my sexual fantasies. He made my masturbation more pleasurable and my dreams more exciting. I didn't love him nor lust for him; I just felt platonic, yet I was curious enough to see if the real deal might justify my imagination.

I decided to try and see if I could convince him to sate my curiosity. The fact that he's told me that he's done a lot of guys and girls tells me that he's experienced. I had to make him comfortable around me and hint that I wanna try it out with him. This would be a one time thing.

I heard my mom call for dinner. I stood up, confident that my plan would work. I was excited to see the outcome. I was sure that it would be a piece of cake – little did I know that it would be more complicated than that.

Honestly, this story is slowly derailing from my original plans for it. I might try and get it back, but I'm not sure if it'll be good.

what do you guys think?

anyway, enjoy the rest of your day :)