Two weeks later (Meredith is 14 weeks pregnant)…

She walked through the hospital doors, trying to focus on work. Now that the Chief knew, she felt… she felt vulnerable. Alex had no need to be in for another couple of hours so he decided to stay home until surgery. Izzie and Christina both had early shifts and were in the middle of their surgeries. George was off. Addison still had an hour before she would be out of her early surgery. So Meredith was alone. After grabbing an apple and a couple of charts, she headed up to Christina's gallery.

It was weird to be watching her when they had started out as surgery-hungry interns together. Now, they were surgery-hungry residents about to get their own surgery-hungry interns. The thought of interns made Meredith groan. She didn't want to be spending the next three years babysitting interns. First, she was going to get two or three. The next two years, she'd get four or five.

She sat down in the front row of the empty gallery. It wasn't too busy today but Derek was performing a rare surgery in OR 2, so most people were over there watching that. She didn't want to though. She just wanted to get away from everyone else even for a second. Down in the OR, Christina was clamping a bleed in the heart. She glanced up and saw Meredith. Meredith gave her a small smile and opened up on of the charts. Christina looked back down at the patient.

A few minutes had passed since she entered the gallery and the surgery continued below. She had only worked through one chart… The apple rolled across the floor and the chart fell in all directions. She put her hands on her stomach and her eyes grew wide and filled with tears. Christina happened to glance up to the gallery to see Meredith's expression. She made a face of confusion, but Meredith didn't notice. A tear slid down her cheek as she hurried to pick up the fallen objects and scurried out. Christina looked in confusion before returning her gaze to the surgery.

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The door opened to the empty gallery and she walked in. The OR and gallery were darkened. She stepped into the room and just stared at it. Then, it happened again. Her hand, subconsciously, found its way to her stomach. The tears rolled down her cheeks and her knees caved in. She collapsed to the floor. Her knees were pulled up and her arms were wrapped around them. Sobs shook her body.

"He wasn't even here to feel them. He wasn't here to feel them kick." She cried to herself.

There was another flutter in her stomach. It was like butterflies in her stomach. It was a bittersweet moment. She was happy to feel the babies kick. It only made them more real to her. It was sad because Mark wasn't there to feel it, too.

She heard the door click and she lifted her head, quickly trying to dry the fallen tears. He turned and looked at her. His face softened when he saw the tears.

"What's wrong, Meredith?" He said.

"Nothing… I'm fine," She got up and started to walk out. He grabbed her arm.

"No you're not."

"Yes, I am, Derek," She hissed.

"When is this going to stop, Meredith? When will we be okay around each other?" He said. "I mean it was a long time ago. I said I was sorry. But, you still never talk to me. Why can't we move on? I'm tired of your friends calling me a jackass and giving me dirty looks. When is that going to stop?" Silence filled the air and he still held onto her arm.

"I'm having a hard time right now. What do you want from me Derek? Just tell me what you want from me because I can't do this anymore. I can't live like this. I can't hate you and hate myself for how my life turned out. But I can't love or forgive you. I don't feel anything when I look at you. And, I'm sorry for my friends. You hurt them, just as much as you hurt me. I can't deal with any of this right now."

"You are the love of my life. Why can't you forgive me and love me?"

"You hurt me too many times. I'm in love with Mark now."

"So you can forgive him for leaving you, but can't forgive me."

"I'm in love with him. There's nothing he could do to change that. Even if he never comes home, I will still love him."

"I don't understand this, Meredith."

"I'm sorry if you don't understand. But, it's over."

She pulled her arm away and walked out wiping the tears from her eyes.