A/N: Hello my dear readers. How are you today? I am a bit worried. And therefore I'll use this little space here to say something, if you don't want to read that, then simply skip it and read the stuff below the dividing line :)

Well I was a bit surprised, negatively, that primevalyank was the only one reviewing the last chapter (God bless you for that my dear, I already told you how much that meant for me :D) So far 38 people had read it, and I wanted to ask you: Have I lost my bite? Is the story boring or frustrating? Have I lost your interest? Yes, I know, I myself am still 2 years behind with reading all the awesome stories out there (I decided last week to switch my reading-order and start with most recent stories rather than those which were published 2 years ago. And a lot of those stories are awesome! but unfortunately most of them have no single review. So here comes my little advice for you, all the fabulous authors out there, they not only write because they love to write but also because they love to make their readers happy. And you can give that happiness back to them by just clicking that little review button at the end of the page, telling them that you liked their story, or a particular line, or even if you didn't like something. You don't even need an account for that, you can just type something in as an anonymous. So please keep in mind, you also have the power to put a smile on the authors faces by sending them something back. :o)

So now to this story, well yes, the title probably gives it away, Becker is digging his grave a little deeper. He can be so frustrating -.- Yes, but don't worry, we are only 5 chapters (plus this one) away from the next peak in his life were everything will have a turn again. I hope you're with me until then (and yes, this story is far away from being finished).

And a little hint to my other stories. Don't worry, they will be finished. They are already waiting in line, I just decided that it is better for me to just concentrate on finish uploading one story rather than putting a little chapter in this story, putting a little chapter in that story and so on.

Edit: Now beta-read by head . chantal . THANK YOU so much! :D (I had to put two spaces in between your name, since FFN doesn't allow me to set your name in it. Don't know why :( )

And for the song: I picked a rather new song I heard a couple of weeks ago. It's called "Always be with you" by Walking on Cars. And I found that song quite fitting, especially when you watch the video for it, well you will know why when you read the chapter.

Enough of me.

Enjoy!

Becker walked aimlessly through the corridors, trying to distract his mind. He was angry at himself. How could he be the Head of Security again if the sheer mention of her name caused him so much distress. He didn't want to feel the pain every time someone talked about her, he didn't want to get distracted by his damn, unprofessional feelings when all he needed to do was focus. He shook his head, gritting his teeth, before he rammed a fist right into the concrete. "Damn!" The sharp pain went through his body and brought tears to his eyes. "Get a grip! You're the Captain!" he reprimanded himself. He squinted his eyes shut, hitting the wall again, and waited until the pain had rushed through his body. It calmed him down, but Becker also knew that he couldn't go and hit a wall every time he needed to get back his composure.

One final breath and Becker opened his eyes again, stepping back from the wall. He felt pathetic. After all, Jess wasn't dead, she was fine, on the way to recovering and still he acted as if he was the only one grieving. There were people inside this building going through the same pain or even more and they managed to cope, to function and be there for others. He really needed his backbone back and he knew there was one special person who would help him with that.

It was time for a visit!

Becker went through the countless enclosures in the menagerie, looking for Abby. Eventually he found her in one at the far end, scratching a juvenile triceratops' back with a large brush. He stayed at the entrance trying to get a full view of her but she was mostly shielded by the animal.

"Hey, Abs. Are you busy?" He tried to sound casual, hiding that he still didn't like it when she or anyone else, for that matter, worked so closely with the creatures. For him they were still a risk regardless of their eating preferences and he would have liked to see them in a restricted area, shielded by meter-high fences. But he also knew that the mere mention of his dislike would stir up a fight with Abby, and fighting was the least he wanted right now.

"Hello, Becker. Very busy right now," she replied abruptly, continuing her caring without even looking up.

Her impersonal behaviour irritated him. Was she angry at him about something? Was it just the work? Was it worry? He couldn't pin it down and decided to ease the situation with some small talk. Not knowing where to start, he picked up the 'creature-topic', presuming that this one was a safe field he could build his talk upon.

"Did you hear, they couldn't get all of the ceratops through and are bringing them back." His tone was friendly, but he couldn't hide his nervousness.

"Yes. Leptoceratops. They told me about them half an hour ago," Abby replied, her tone a bit smoother, but she still hadn't turned towards him to speak. Now scratching the neck frill of her young companion, she continued: "My assistants are already getting new enclosures ready. It will get pretty crowded in here, though. We'll need new space soon. Preferably a place where they have green grass, sun light and fresh air," she counted. "At least for the non dangerous creatures I mean. Sadly Lester is still against it." A glimpse of sorrow flashed across her face as she turned around, getting ready to leave.

"Yes. That's crap," Becker responded and instantly mentally slapped himself for using such poor words. He wanted to agree with her, yes, to make her feel better, but couldn't he come up with any better words? He truly doubted that Abby would buy his sympathy, knowing quite well that he stood on Lester's side when it came to the creatures.

The Captain used the moment of her stepping out of the enclosure to have a better look at her and was almost startled by her appearance. Her clothes were dirty from the cleaning, no surprise, her fingers looked dry and sore, and her hair messy and probably hadn't seen a shower for a couple of days. But what appalled him the most were the dark rims under her eyes that made her exhaustion even more visible and made her look ten years older. She visibly hadn't smiled for a long time and Becker tried hard to remember if he had seen her at ease at least once since the incident. To be honest, he couldn't make out one single time.

"Um. Can I help you with something?" he questioned as he followed her to the newly arranged enclosures. He didn't know what else to say to get her into a chatty mood.

Abby stopped abruptly and turned towards her old friend, worried. "Has something happened?" As she didn't get an answer, she questioned further: "Is Jess alright?"

"Yes," Becker confirmed nonchalantly. Then the real meaning of her question hit him: "No. Nothing has happened. Why do you ask?"

"Because you're acting strange," the young woman remarked annoyed.

Becker raised one eyebrow. "I don't act strange," he contradicted. "It's not unusual for me to ask you about your wellbeing or talk to you."

"Well, it is strange. Since this year, anyway," she countered, avoiding even trying to think about the incursion. "And actually, you didn't ask me about my wellbeing at all. But at least I know now what you came for."

Becker gulped. He didn't expect her to reply so coldly. "Well, and how-."

Abby cut him off mid-sentence. "Look, Becker, tell Connor he doesn't need to send his buddies down here. I'm fine! I told him this already and saying it to other people doesn't make it any different." She stared at him as if she was about to bite his head off.

"Connor didn't send me," the tall man responded meekly. He didn't know how he got himself into that. How he got her so angry so quickly. All he wanted was to have a little chat with his friend to find out how he could get his courage back. But maybe this was already the first mistake he had made. To think that someone else, could help him out of his misery despite their own problems.

"Oh, sorry I just assumed. I didn't think that you would come down here on your own," Abby replied without any anger in her voice.

"Well, I am," Becker assured her with steady voice and wondered instantly how in all world she could even think that.

"Why?" She was sceptical, and that he didn't say right away what he really wanted from her started to get on her nerves.

"Huh," he asked baffled, not understanding the question.

"Why do you suddenly want to know how I am? Or come down here? I thought you would spend any free minute sitting next to Jess," she explained. He exhausted her, and she really wished Becker would just get the hint and leave her alone.

"Well," Becker didn't know what to say or to be more precise how to say what he wanted to say. He scratched the back of his head a little and then simply stated:" I had a talk with Lester yesterday, and he made me recognise that I can't stop living or caring about my other friends just because Jess is in a coma."

"Oh! And I guess you did a mental check list of all the people you wanted to talk to now," she concluded snappishly, knowing him too well.

"Well, kinda," he tried to weasel out of the awkward situation he'd put himself into. He really wanted to know how she felt, but right now it seemed that he only came down here to make himself feel better.

"I see! Well, then you can strike me off your list and go now. You have done your duty, bye!" she spat and started to walk away.

Ouch!

Becker flinched from the invisible hit he'd just taken. He squinted his eyes. Why was she so angry at him? He swallowed; the new sarcastic-cynical-Abby was someone he had to digest properly, but he didn't want to leave her like that. Not angry. He wanted to talk to her, if only he knew what to say.

"Lester also told me about your baby," he suddenly blurted out, dropping a clanger.

Abby froze in her motion and tears started to fill her eyes.

Unaware to Becker what his words had done, he continued: "Well not the real baby, but the miscarriage," he corrected, putting his foot deeper in it.

Abby turned around, small trails of tears were visible on her cheeks. "It wasn't a miscarriage, Becker! It was murder! Galant had murdered my baby. My real baby. Inside of me," she cried full of hurt and anger.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that," he apologized, slowly realising the harm he had done.

"If you have no clue about it, then you'd better shut up!" she yelled in frustration before turning and fleeing the corridor.

Becker needed a couple of minutes to process what just happened. "Well that went fantastically," he remarked sarcastically, the frustration about his own mess up clearly audible.

A/N: My, my, my, Becker can be such a dumbass sometimes. But don't worry, he will get an ear full of what he did in two chapters ahead. I hope you liked it still. And please let me know what you thought of it :) yeah, come on, press that little button, make me smile :D

Anyway. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead of you!

Have a nice day!

:o)