Winter Wonderland
Rated: K+/T – three curse words and Gai's cooking. XD
Theme(s): Burnt Dinners
Disclaimer: Do not fear, the lawyers are here! Oh, wait…
Narrator. TenTen's diary entry. Uh… don't know what to call this? 3rd person POV after Neji's done reading? And don't ask me why I left the narrator bit in even after I decided to add an end bit with Neji and TenTen. :P
- FLAME-boyant -
The one time Team Gai spent Christmas Eve at Gai's apartment, it was a disaster of flamboyant proportions. If one were to stupidly ask what had happened, like Naruto, they'd end up with closed tenketsu, a broken nose, and a few poisoned kunais embedded in their stomach. But you lucky folks get to read TenTen's journal entry for that day. Warning: Tell any Team Gai member, or anyone else, and you will be killed. Mercilessly. Because, if you told anyone else, rumors would spread across all five great ninja nations (especially if you told Ino), and they'd fine you and hunt you down. You, my friend, have been warned.
Dear journal (because, Kami damn it, you're a journal not a diary like Hinata-chan said),
Today is Christmas Eve. Gai-sensei and Lee-kun, who love to celebrate anything and everything, decided the whole team would celebrate. I'm surprised Neji-kun came. Anyways, yeah, we went to Gai-sensei's apartment. He didn't even bother to clean it up! There were jumpsuits everywhere along with take-out boxes… and, I believe, a copy of Icha Icha Paradise.
Eeeeeww. Sorry. Anyways. I like using the word 'anyways'… ano, well, we went at… say, four-ish. "We" as in Neji-kun and I. He decided to camp out the whole Christmas holidays in my apartment. Apparently, the Hyuuga Elders are too overbearing with mistletoe and his cousins.
EEWW. Again. Well, so far he's spent two days cooped up in my apartment, making it smell of boy. Or, well, Neji-kun. Which isn't a bad smell, trust me. It's actually quite pleasant. He smells of wintergreen, the forest, and, of course, sweat. But the wood smell that comes with the forest mainly covers that, so he smells reaaaallly nice and yummy.
Neji-kun, I swear to Kami-sama above, if you're reading this, I'll find out and you'll die a VERY painful death.
Well, anyways (see, told you I liked the word 'anyways'), when we arrived to Gai-sensei's apartment, Lee-kun was already there. Gai-sensei was yelling of how Lee-kun, though he's a very youthful student, had to be wrong about how to properly make miso soup and onigiri. Well, since Lee-kun is a decent cook (as an orphan, he had to cook for himself. When you live off your own cooking, you learn to cook well. Just like Neji-kun and I.), I doubted he'd get making onigiri wrong. But, seeing as Lee-kun couldn't convince Gai-sensei, Neji-kun and I kept silent about it (I think Neji-kun was actually just being his normal self, but, eh.).
As it turns out, my hunch was correct. Gai-sensei burnt his miso soup, pork, rice, seaweed, chicken… basically everything he made. Even the water (no lie). Gai-sensei almost burned down his whole apartment. No wonder I'd seen take-out boxes everywhere and he always wanted to work out. You could die if you ate that many calories a day and didn't do something to burn them all off.
Yeah, well, we all kinda… ate the burnt stuff (as in, everyone choked it down silently but Gai-sensei, who was yelling about how good his cooking had been compared to other times. I shudder to think about those times.)… but only Lee-kun and Gai-sensei ate a meal of it. Poor Lee-kun… he had to got to the hospital afterwards from eating so much of it (I don't know why Gai-sensei didn't)…
Neji-kun cooked for me afterwards when we got home – to my apartment, I mean. It was sooo sweet. I expected to go home and order take-out, but, no, he asked where all my cooking supplies and food were, and I told him. He's a very meticulous cooker, and that jerk didn't let me help! The only thing I helped with was telling him how my old stove worked or where things were. I felt so needed (can you sense the sarcasm?).
But, anyways, his cooking is really good. It's on par with my mad skills. And, trust me, I have mad skills.
Moving on, he even got me to get my candles for when the lights go out out of my closet and set them up real fancy like on my card table (also out of my closet). It was like some sort of romantic date… only on Christmas Eve in my apartment after a scarring visit to Gai-sensei's house. So, like, a young married couple's first Christmas after visiting that uncle everyone wishes they weren't related to? Hmm… yeah, that fits it.
I better stop writing before Neji-kun comes out of the shower. I don't want him finding this, even if this is the only entry so far. I love Hinata-chan forever and forever for giving this to me early since today was pretty… flame-boyant.
Peace,
TenTen – Konoha's one and only Weapons Mistress.
Now, when Neji chuckles darkly, it's always a bad sign. It's worse when TenTen comes into their apartment, hands full of groceries, hears him chuckle darkly, and sees him reading her journal from when she was 13.
"So, when do you plan on killing me, TenTen? And I smell good?" Neji asked, though his back was to her. It took all of TenTen's strength not to drop the bags she had and kill him right then and there. But, alas, she had eggs in one of the bags, and she was planning on making use of them instead of buying them just to waste them. Quickly putting all grocery bags down safely in the kitchen, TenTen hurried over to Neji, arms crossed over her chest.
"Hyuuga, Neji. Put that down right now."
Oh no he didn't just chuckle at her.
"Neji you ass hole!" TenTen pounced at him, trying to grab the battered old journal. Neji, expectantly, held it away from her, still chuckling. He grabbed the back of her head, burying her face into his chest.
"Hmmm, let's see, there's quite a bit of me in here… and of how good I smell so yum–- what the heck, TenTen!" Neji said, hand reeling back when TenTen bit him. TenTen, seeing him distracted, grabbed a hold of his neck, blocking his windpipe; he held the journal out of her grasp with his longer arm. Neji still smirked at her, sending silent chuckles to vibrate through TenTen's body. She instantly regretted sitting on his torso since he knew she knew he was still laughing at her.
TenTen sighed, remembering her journal entries (for the most part) from when she was 13, and let go of Neji's throat (she would've, anyways, sooner or later).
"Fine, go ahead, you freaking ass hole." TenTen said, crossing her arms again and pouting. Neji smirked wider in victory, sitting back up follow to slide her into his lap, wrapping his free arm around her waist.
"Now it's no fun since you gave in." He said, dropping the journal. Hey, he was a good guy – he wasn't going to read something she obviously desperately didn't want him to read. Well, not while she was watching, anyways. When she was sleeping was a whole different story.
TenTen stuck out her tongue at him, standing back up and going to the kitchen to start sorting the food items and putting them where they belonged.
"You know, Gai-sensei asked for us to come eat dinner at his place again. To, you know, retry cooking for us. I said we'd come."
"… Fuck."
A/N: Lol, I'm crazy. Gosh, I didn't plan on including that last bit that wasn't the diary entry nor the narrator bit, but it just… okay, no, I started planning that half-way through the diary entry, lols. The diary entry was turning out shorter than I originally though, so I added it in. I though the narrator bit might be amusing, so I left it in. And, yes, I think Lee, TenTen, and Neji can all cook. If you don't, well, that's your opinion.
~ Tobi