A.N Sorry for the unannounced hiatus there... I just haven't had the heart to write this past week... anyways here's a short chapter because it just seemed relevant at the minute. Before I finish with the one I really wanted to write, I have a small request. Please say a decade of the rosary...a small prayer...anything really for my aunt and her family at this time.
Apologies for the angstyness...yes I'm aware that's not a "real word".
Disclaimer: If I name my first child Joanne can I please, please own them for a night?
Hermione paused to look at the next picture before hurriedly turning the page. She had a feeling they wouldn't like to relive that particular scene.
"It's alright love." Remus assured her turning back the page.
Sirius and Remus were sitting on an old, worn out rug holding each other as they wept. It was their eyes that showed how truly anguished they were.
"Peter always was very peculiar about the pictures he took." Sirius sighed resting a hand on Remus' shoulder.
"Yes, they always seem to be decidedly morbid."
* * Sirius banged on the door of the bathroom again. "Moony! Moony come on, tell us whats wrong."
"How long has he been in there?" James asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"I dunno he was in there when I got home, that was about three hours ago."
"It's as bad as when we found out about his furry little problem..." Peter squeaked.
"Remus John Lupin open this door!" James shouted finally having had enough.
"Don't make us call your mother!" Sirius joked, grinning when the sound of the lock turning reached his ears.
He stood in the doorway tears falling freely, a crumpled piece of parchment clutched in his hand. He offered it to James, who read it aloud for the benefit of the others.
"Remus,
I'm sorry I'm not writing with good news. It's your mother. The cancer's back and it's terminal. Please come home, I know she'd love to see you. Bea."
"I-" James stopped, at a loss for words.
"Oh Remus. How awful!" Peter wrung his hands,ignoring the death glare he was receiving from the other two marauders.
He looked to Sirius who had remained silent. He had been close to Maria, it would be wrong if he shut him out now. "Will you come with me?"
He gave a tiny nod then walked away to put the kettle on.
"Can we go now?" He called out nervously.
"Oh, eh yea." He turned to James biting his lower lip.
"We'll stay here for when you get back" he promised.
* * "I hate hospitals, they always smell like dead people..." He stopped talking. a look of pure horror on his face as he realised what he just said.
"Its OK Pads. Just relax." He squeezed his best friends hand reassuringly before turning the corner to his mothers ward.
If it wasn't for his aunt Beatrice sat by the bedside he would never have recognised her. She looked so frail and broken, like a strong breeze could knock her down. Her skin had a sickly yellow tinge to it, and bandages covered her neck. He had only seen her last month, this couldn't be her. He felt a hand on his back urging him forward.
"It's OK Moony. Deep breaths" Sirius steered him into the seat opposite his aunt. He couldn't believe the change in Maria either. He hadn't seen her in almost a year. Life just seemed to get in the way. He was truely disgusted with himself in that moment for not making more of an effort.
She had been beautiful. The female version of Remus. Sandy hair, amber eyes, wicked humour, a small dimple that appeared on the side of her mouth only when she truly found something funny. She was the strongest woman he knew, a trait she had passed on to her son.
Before he had gone to stay with James, the Lupins had taken him in and treated them like a son. After that he always made sure to owl them once a week. It was comforting to know how much love there truely was outside of his own childhood John died, he knew a little of herself died with him, but she carried on living in his memory all for the sake of Remus.
She looked up and smiled a little. "My two faourite boys, to what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Oh mum..." Remus clutched her hand to his heart.
"Hello Maria." Sirius smiled uneasily. He had no idea how to act.
"Stop fussing Remus love."
"I thought you were clear?" Sirius asked perplexed planting himself at the end of her bed.
"We all did."
"Does it hurt much?"
"A little. Nothing compared to what you go through though ducky." She smiled affectionately at her son.
The nurse came over and quietly told them visiting hours were over, her patient needed rest. They promised to go back in the morning.
* * *
Worn out they had returned to the apartment to find James and Peter passed out on the couch.
"Isn't there anything you can do?" Sirius had asked.
"It's too far advanced. And even if I could, I'd doubt she'd let me."
He nodded. She wanted to go be with John. Put an end to all the suffering and worrying. Finally be at peace. They had gone to bed straight away and Sirius was just beginning to drift off when he heard it.
A knock on the door followed by a heart wrenching scream. He threw off the covers and ran to the living room. Beatrice stood by Remus shaking sightly at his reaction. He didn't need to ask. He threw himself down on the floor, gathering his best fried into his arms. He fought him first, clawing and punching trying to wrestle his way out of his grasp. With a deep shuddering breath he slumped in Sirius' arms, tears and sobs overcoming his body. Sirius felt his own tears fall but didn't bother wiping them, not caring who seen. Maria's death was a tragedy, but seeing Moony in this much pain made him want to die too.
They didn't pay attention to the others in the seen the flash of the camera or the angry shouts of James. Just sat cradling each other through the tears until they exhausted themselves and fell asleep. James, feeling uncomfortable, levitated the two boys into their beds then returned to the couches. His brothers were hurting right now, but he'd be there to help pick up the pieces in the morning. Thats what famly was for.