Hello everyone and happy Easter! The chapter came out late, because I was in a trip somewhere really cool! Try to guess where it was! Fortunately, I came back and here's the chapter I made! To redeem myself, here's a longer chapter! I hope you'll enjoy it!
No 107 is for abdol who requested it. I hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything!
333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Konoha
101. Buy a farm.
Yamato finally solved the problem of hunger all over the continent with his Mokuton abilities. He won a Nobel prize and is recognized everywhere for his good actions. I wonder why he never thought about it…
102. Get a pet.
The day the Daimyo's wife got Tora as a pet, the entire ninja population of Konoha suddendly shivered, feeling like an era of darkness and death just started for those unfortunate souls.
103. Play the game of the music chair.
Pain did the error of letting Kakuzu and Deidara organize the game so when the music ended, the ground collapsed, revealing a floor covered with spikes and when the whole group of Akatsuki-save the two art lovers- tried to get all together on the chair since it was on platform, the chair exploded, launching them all to the moon. When they crashed on it, they found a very angry Jyuubi ready to massacre the unfortunate fellows that disturbed his nap.
104. Watch TV.
That day, Madara found out a much better way to enslave the minds of the entire population of the planet.
105. Write your memoirs.
Somehow, Jiraya managed to publish his memoirs before dying. It quickly got classed as a M-rated book, because all it contained was porn. The toad Sage was clearly a god amongst perverts.
106. Ride a dragon.
Tsunade was quickly getting used to the apparent craziness of the village, but in this case, she really wanted a bottle of sake.
"Soooo, what you're telling me is that you've seen a movie called "How to Train Your Dragon", you wanted to have one, so you opened a hole to that universe with your kamui and retrieved one while completely ignoring any consequences it might issue?"
"Yep." replied a completely oblivious Sasuke.
"Are you f*cking retarted? Now the hole has completely opened now and there's hundreds of them all around the village destroying everything they see!"
It was at that point that a Monstrous Nightmare tried to enter the office by the window, but it quickly abandoned when he saw "The Look" on the blonde's face. It quickly abandoned and went to eat something else, , he felt like eating a pink-haired useless banshee that does absolutely nothing whatsoever in critical situations for some unknown reason.
"As for you," Sasuke gulped at Her Look. "You're going to get out there and clean up all the shit you caused. And if I hear you moan another time, I'm gonna tear your balls off and shove them in your orbits. AM I CLEAR?"
"H-hai, Hokage-sama!
107. Smoke weed.
One day, Killer B found Yugito Nii smoking weed in an alley. It was later found out that the drug was in fact catnip. She still had to get through a process of detoxication.
108. Create a deadly pathogen.
"Soooooo, how did it end up like this?" asked Tatuya while crushing the skull of a zombie with a baseball bat.
She was only answered by grunts of pain as the other Sound Four stampeded through the legions of the undead that filled the streets. They were trying desperately to escape, but there were too many of them.
"At least it can't get worse" said Jirobo, forgetting about Murphy's law.
The others nodded at that before a random ninja ran out of a building, screaming: "Run! They managed to find out the exo-suits storage!"
A zombie equipped with an exo-suit jumped on him out of a building and start to devour him. All the remaining survivors saw a horde of them come out of the buildings, all equipped with the suits.
Everyone turned to Orochimaru who was scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.
"He he… Sorry. I kinda forgot about them."
At least it made a good video game reference.
109. Go to the movies.
Asuna and Kureina were on a date. They planned to wander around the village while talking about their lives, watch a movie, and then eat lunch at a small café before finally finishing the day by chilling at Kureina's house. Unfortunately for Asuna, the date was cut short when Kureina realized that the movie they were watching was the Icha Icha Paradise movie, it's basically porn. Asuna, for that mishap, got slapped by his girlfriend and lost respect from all of Konoha's female population.
110. Get a tattoo.
Naruto was staring dumbfounded at queer man that suddenly appeared out of nowhere and was floating in the air. He named itself "The Outsider".
"Naruto, I was watching you for awhile and I've found you "interesting". I will make you my champion. You will have access to new powers that no one has ever seen. However, be cautious; there are people out there that abhor me and will try to kill you to eliminate all traces of me in this world. If you are caught, you and your loved ones will probably suffer a painful and gruesome death." said The Outsider before disappearing.
Naruto then felt his skin burn and looked at his hand; a new mark-The Outsider's mark-now adorned his hand, marking him forever for a life filled with treachery, pain and death.
"Cool! A new tattoo!"
So, love it? Hate it? Please review!