Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect.

I went to talk to Wrex and he seemed to think that the price for making him talk to me was having to help him retrieve a family heirloom that the Turians took during the war. At last his story was interesting, too. Wrex, despite his protests, continues to prove himself something of a far-thinking visionary. He was concerned about his people's numbers and so tried to get them to stop fighting for a generation and focus on breeding so that their people could survive.

From what I've seen, he'd have had a tough job getting them to stop fighting for five minutes in order to explain his plan to them. Still, despite this not being a popular idea he eventually started winning over the hearts and minds. A powerful warlord stuck in the past just wanted to kill everyone and so was Wrex's biggest opposition. They met on neutral ground but neither was changing their minds and so the other warlord had Wrex's men killed and nearly killed Wrex himself. Wrex managed to kill him and then fled the planet.

And the warlord was his father.

Damn. Krogan, you know?

He won't admit it but I think that that's why he wants the armor, so he can go back and try again. And I've heard the stories about the Krogan but this slow extinction makes me uneasy and Wrex is a friend so I'll do it. Besides, if I'm saving one dangerous and hostile species from extinction then why not two? Wrex just wants to be there when I get the armor back I don't know why people keep adding that part. Not only do I always take everyone with me everywhere but why would I do their quest without them? I mean, really.

Well, okay, I can see why Garrus might be concerned but Wrex?

I went to go see Tali next and, surprise surprise, she wanted a favor. My God, were they all just biding their time and plotting to ambush me? Although since she wants something to help with her pilgrimage and I knew she was on the pilgrimage when I met her, at least this one is fairly straightforward.

She needs something flashy and Geth-related and coming with me gives her a pretty good chance of finding something. Her dad is one of the five admirals, it seems, and he's the typical distant powerful father and everyone expects great things. I can't really sympathize there but I do get not wanting to disappoint lofty expectations so if I come across something I'll do what I can. Her mother apparently died a few years back but was kind of a non-presence in her life. I wonder why someone so forceful as her father would be interested in someone she describes as a non-entity.

Ashley did not want anything which was a relief. Maybe it's because she's still not telling me her big secret and I can't figure out a non-obnoxious way to ask her about it. I could always ask about her record but that's cheating, isn't it?

I guess that I came at a bad time as she was talking to her sister but she ended the call to talk to me. Her sister signed off with a remark about Kaidan's hotness. I felt a flash of…something at that and Ashley quickly assured me that she's not interested and Kaidan's otherwise occupied as well. Not that we're doing anything or anything but I felt better just the same.

Ashley thought that she had put her foot in her mouth by mentioning her family when I have none but, you know, it didn't feel awkward until she said that. I'm not anti-family or particularly bitter about it. It just was what it was. Granted I probably wouldn't have such a dark past with a family but that's not wanting a family itself, that's just not wanting to have that one period of my life.

I learned that Ashley had three younger sisters and was a typical military brat. Her dad worked hard but got nowhere in the military (even now she's made it further than he did) and I can just feel the weight of the things she's not saying. She told me a few cute stories about her family. They seem re ally close. I could never imagine giving up my career to raise kids like her mother did but it's her choice. And my job's the kind that I literally can't do pregnant so maybe one day if I can live with a desk job.

I also found out one of Ashley's secrets but it's not her big one. She's deeply religious and most people not living on Earth aren't really and find religious to be really odd. Of course, while I'm not at all religious, I grew up on Earth and use phrases like 'oh my God' all the time so it's nothing new for me. She seemed strangely relieved by my indifference.

I finally found Kaidan and he was talking with Liara. They both looked grim and I suddenly got a bad feeling about it. I willed myself to not feel guilty since I hadn't actually done anything wrong but it was difficult with the way that they were looking at me.

It turned out, they were both convinced that I had expressed feelings for them and were worried that I was two-timing them. Confronting me about it was, I will reluctantly admit, the best thing to do in this situation but still. Awkward as hell. And it's better than both of them just walking away in disgust. I'm a little confused, since I only ever talk to them separately and don't say or do anything flirtatious in front of anyone else out of regard for professionalism, where all of this is coming from and how they found out about the other but Ashley seemed to know about Kaidan.

And the reason that this is all so unfair is that I'm not actually two-timing anybody! To begin with, I'm still single and since nobody is making a move they have no right to judge me or hold me to anything.

And then there's the fact that this isn't actually a love triangle. Well, not on my part.

Kaidan started and said that he thought we had something but didn't realize that I was interested in other women, having apparently never heard of bisexuals. Liara tried to pretend she's not female but no one is buying that. He said he'd get over me if he had to but he had to be told that he'd need to do that. I assured him that he was special to me and then I could have just smacked him for his reply.

"What about Liara? Is she special, too?"

What the hell was I supposed to say to that?

Obviously if the answer was 'yes' then I'd deserve to feel guilty but it wasn't.

And the silence just sort of stretched on as I tried to figure out a way to say 'no' without coming across like a huge bitch. I mean, the whole reason we're in this mess in the first place was because I wanted to avoid this awkward scene and now it's even worse as Kaidan is here as well so it's not just between the two of us! I thought by just totally ignoring her flirting and keeping things platonic she'd get the hint but, as she said, she's bad with people. Kaidan would have gotten the hint.

I apologized for giving her the wrong idea and explained that I did sort of have a thing for Kaidan. So I guess that turned a few shades more serious by telling someone else about it and choosing him over someone else even if I wasn't remotely interested in that third party.

She was mortified and left and that really could have gone better.

And now that he won, Kaidan is feeling sorry for Liara and suddenly no longer blaming me. Well that's kind of odd. He explained that the heart is a weird thing and he's been torn in two directions before, too. Yeah, great, except that's really not what happened and…Oh, you know what, it doesn't even matter.

He thought that the meeting place that only the two of us were in wasn't the best place to talk so we went back to his usual hang-out where we are surrounded by crew members. Yeah, this is much more private, Kaidan.

And then he explained his rather unusual philosophy to me. It all goes back to Rahna. I'm trying not to judge but he is kind of obsessed with her and it's been at least fifteen years. He said that Rahna reached for a glass of water once and the psychotic Turian in charge broke her arm so he accidentally killed the Turian (they weren't as prompt getting him to medical attention as they could have been) and it sort of shut the whole camp down and a few years later the company went under. I wonder how much of that was because of what Kaidan did. Kind of a heady thing.

Rahna was super lame (or, as he put it, loved everyone and was very gentle) and she was so terrified of the Turian that she was now terrified of the guy who hadn't meant to do it and was only protecting her. Yeah, she seems like a real keeper. But I knew better than to say anything to Kaidan who seems to still idolize her.

And that's why he's so self-contained all the time. He doesn't want to screw up again. Although I think now that he's been fully-trained and isn't a hormonal teenager anymore, he doesn't have to worry quite that much. Rahna has a lot to answer for. I told him that he could cut loose a little more and he seemed to agree although he was a little embarrassed that I had to point that out to him.

He told me that the psychotic Turian was actually what made him first see aliens as just individuals and not just part of a stereotype. I'm not sure quite how but it did. And so now he doesn't like or hate aliens as a whole. He just likes or hates the individuals. That's a very rare philosophy and the first time I've heard it expressed. It's also very admirable.

I've never been able to do that. I mean, I like Garrus and I dislike Saren so it's not like I'm not capable of having different opinions about different members of a species I just…I'm pretty new to this whole interacting with aliens thing. Back before I met Nihlus, I hadn't had much to do with them and while the Reds weren't the xenophobic nightmare they are today, they weren't exactly fond of aliens and those were my formative years. Humanity as a whole have only been at it twenty-six years. That's most of my life so it usually feels like a lot but when you think of the Rachni Wars two thousand years ago…it's really not, is it?

And I've noticed that if I haven't had much contact with a species then I instinctively don't trust them. And now, while I'm still more than capable of disliking individual Turian – for example – I'm much more kindly inclined towards them than I was before meeting Garrus. So I still don't like the Salarians as I haven't gotten close with one or the Asari because Liara is just…Oh, who even knows? She confuses me. And she just made me feel like a bad guy.

I decided to head back to the Citadel to see what Udina and Anderson are making of my progress so far. I feel like we've accomplished nothing or next to nothing, at least, but we're two-thirds of the way through my original mission and about half-way through what we now have to do since we have to look up that relay.

Stunningly, Udina was against my decision to not fail as a person and save the Rachni queen. He was mostly concerned with how it would look. Which I guess is his job (and mine) but genocide to avoid a PR problem? Really? That's just…And I wonder if he'd be so eager to press the button and end a species if he had actually been there to do it. Then again, perhaps I don't want to know. Anderson backed me, at least. And will the Rachni actually stay on Noveria? I hadn't thought that they would, largely because being confined to one planet does not provide much of an opportunity to hide but I guess if they can't breathe in space or get a ship or something then they'll have to. Still, I have faith in them. At least in this.

And Udina can stop acting like I'm trying to make his job harder any day now. I bet he wasn't even happy when I made Spectre and I am trying to be helpful here. He'd know if I wasn't.

You know, it's strange because I don't actually remember doing all that much for the Alliance before I became a Spectre. Yes, I served on a crew and whatnot and the Blitz happened but I wasn't nearly this busy.

Now it's like every time I turn around the Alliance needs me. Regardless of what they seem to think, I'm not actually any more impressive now than I was back before I was a Spectre. Or do they think the fact that I'm a Spectre will change anything, maybe with perception?

There's this guy called Major Kyle who is holed up on a planet running a cult of biotics. Admiral Hackett mentioned something about how a lot of biotics are disenfranchised and whatnot. Given how useful biotics are, we really should get over our petty issues with them. Major Kyle's not a biotic himself but apparently he lost too many men at a particularly brutal encounter with the Batarians and he just snapped. He took early retirement because he's not fit for active duty anymore but when Alliance personnel recently came to see him to try and get him some medical treatment since he is a veteran and all the messengers were killed.

Well, now everyone still feels bad for Major Kyle but he's committed a crime and proven himself dangerous and must be taken in. And…I'm the person elected to do it. It was obvious (even before he admitted it afterwards) that this was probably going to end in a bloodbath. But you know what? I wasn't interested in that.

I went to the planet and the guy at the door wouldn't let me in. He kept talking about 'Father Kyle' and yeah, that definitely sounds like a cult. And when 'Father Kyle' finally agreed to see me – outside of the compound – he seemed pretty unhinged. He kept talking about protecting his children. And the guy at the door insisted that they had to kill the Alliance people to protect him because he protects them. Well, it actually sounds like they protect themselves just fine and don't need Major Kyle for protection. Leadership, maybe, but he's crazy. And maybe so are they.

Major Kyle conceded that I was there under a peaceful banner and so he wouldn't kill me but he also started talking about how he had to kill the Alliance messengers and tried his best to make their end peaceful. Like he didn't know that that would bring a major shit storm down on his head. I told him that if he surrendered now everyone could live but otherwise there would probably be a bloody massacre (not an easy thing to relate to someone without them thinking that you personally were threatening that and needed to be eliminated).

And I really do think that he needs some psychiatric treatment. He really seems to believe his own bull. He had that crazy person tone of voice, you know? But he's not so crazy that he doesn't realize that my team and I could end them all and so he agreed to surrender. Not right away because if he goes with me now then the cult will likely attack but he'd meet us in an hour to peacefully surrender after explaining it to them.

Well, I wasn't going to wait around for an hour so I just left and we contacted the Alliance and let them know to meet him. Kaidan didn't seem very optimistic that the major would keep his promise but he knew the consequences if he didn't and it wouldn't be my problem anymore. I heard that the cult disbanded but, given that they're all the types of people to join cults, I'm worried for them. I guess I should be glad that they didn't all decide to drink the Kool-Aid.

So then I figured that I might as well go track down this Dr. Heart and find out if he and Dr. Saleon were really the same person (did I mention that was what he had changed his name to?) before he up and moved again.

When I got to the ship, Heart was being held at gunpoint by what I can only presume are some disgruntled victims (or maybe would-be victims) and so I had to deal with that. I can't believe he's going by Heart. That is so obviously a fake name that it's not even funny. And if it's that easy to pass himself off as a doctor when he's never gone to medical school under that name…Well, it's a little discouraging is all.

Anyway, once we dispatched of them, Heart sincerely thanked me for saving his life. He appeared to be planning to pass it off as some random hostage situation but Garrus quickly cut in to tell me that this was Dr. Saleon. Heart – Saleon – quickly panicked and insisted that he was actually Heart. Since we didn't mention that Saleon was a monster or a wanted person and Garrus didn't even say it in a particularly negative tone of voice, if he wasn't actually Saleon then I'd have to wonder why he was so adamant that he wasn't. I mean, if someone thought that I was Ashley then I would want to correct them but I wouldn't be quite so urgent about it.

Even if he had somehow heard the story, Garrus was sure. I'm not sure how he's sure since most Salarians still do look the same to me but I guess Saleon was a little bit darker colored than most Salarians so that might have helped with recognition.

Garrus was ready to shoot him on the spot (he made a comment about wishing he had the time to harvest his organs which was mildly disturbing) but fortunately cooler heads prevailed – mine – and I told Garrus that we couldn't just kill him.

I was a little worried when he didn't seem to understand why we couldn't just shoot him. Maybe I should look up Turian culture and their justice system because it seemed pretty damn obvious why not to me. He had to be arrested and taken to court and have a trial and, with all the evidence that I'm sure we'd find on the ship, he'd be convicted and maybe even executed. That's just how it works. Sometimes if the situation is time sensitive or in desperate times you can't do things as you should but this is neither of those times.

Reluctantly, Garrus agreed and told Saleon that he owed me his life. Apparently his life wasn't worth all that much to him or he was just really stupid because he decided to attack a Spectre, two biotics, a Quarian, another armed human, a Turian, and a Krogan head-on all by himself. So yeah, we totally killed him.

And then Garrus was all annoyed that he'd changed his mind and decided to let Saleon live and then we still ended up killing him. But really, what can you do? I tried to explain that we had to give everyone a chance to surrender and we couldn't help it what they decided to do. I'm not sure if he agreed or not but he did call me the strangest person he had ever met, albeit in a more polite way. He seriously needs to talk to Kaidan. Maybe Liara, too. But it's possible more Asari are like her.

There was a lot of blood of varying colors on the ship. I don't actually know what color blood any other species has besides humans but I'm assuming that each color of blood was a different species so there were a lot of species. And some of the blood looked human. I'm kind of glad he's dead. And aside from giving him the chance being the right thing to do, people tend to frown on it when you kill people instead of trying to take them in. Although they also apparently want unprovoked genocide in some cases so who even knows? I'll stand by my own code.

And then when we got back to the ship Garrus started speculating on whether the Council would try to protect Saren. I highly doubt it. I think they'd quietly execute him as he's done some high-profile things that make it impossible to sweep his crimes under the rug and he's embarrassing them. But, you know, it's theirs to do.

Garrus wants me to just kill Saren when I find him and again I'm left wondering if Garrus is just really zealous or if it's some kind of culture clash as I couldn't seem to make him understand the point of arresting him for its own sake. I did make some headway convincing him that this way we'll learn more of Saren's plan although, really, once Saren is gone I doubt what he would have done will matter much. And I was so pleased to learn that apparently Garrus just thinks Saren is nuts, too. I don't know that I think he's crazy or at least lying but everyone else seem to be convinced. Maybe Wrex would see it our way, too. Of course, he probably wouldn't even care enough to have an opinion on it.

One further thing that amused me: Garrus prefaced all of this by saying 'I know that you're doing all you can to find Saren but…' Like, really? He really thinks I'm doing all I can? I suppose he can't complain since my latest detour was helping him close a cold case but I barely even made it to Noveria. If Saren seems a step ahead of us all the time then maybe it's because we are never, ever going after him. Seriously, if he were actually hurrying then he'd probably have us all killed before we even realized what's going on.

…And on that note, maybe I should look in to hitting Feros soon. Personally, I'd like to at least see my demise coming.

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