Hey guys! Sorry about the SUPER LATE update... you can expect them once every week or so from now on; I've got lots to do! Hope you enjoy!
Chapter 10: Elsa's POV
Life is life. That was what I thought. But now, it was alive again. It was fun, new, interesting, everything it was before.
After Jack had somehow fished the old me out again, I'd assimilated back into the gang and they accepted me with open arms, as if I'd never left in the first place.
Rap and Merida managed to forgive me too, and Astrid, upon realizing that I was back, punched me in the arm before wrapping me up into a huge bear hug on the verge of tears. She was in essence, a second mom to me. She'd been there for me since third grade when she moved to Wintervale, always standing up against the bullies when Jack wasn't there to do it. She'd always been so protective towards me; despite her rash, wild, and slightly violent nature, she was actually really maternal, even if she did have a thing for spiky jewelry.
We had a bit of a girls outing the day after Jack found me; we went the mall and had a sleepover and all. It was nice to know that even if I'd changed, my friends hadn't.
Astrid was running around with spiky bracelets and skull pendants while Merida was picking out anything green or blue. Rap practically dragged me into the music store, oogling over a flower-painted acoustic guitar. I, on the other hand, was open to anything blue, and was looking especially for something snowflake. I wanted to be able to remember the reason why I shut down, and more importantly, the reason I came back.
After a long day at the mall and some money spent, We retired back to Rap's house for a long night ahead.
We sat in her room with a small 49-key synthesizer in the corner, a pink beanbag, a few guitars and hundreds of paintings displayed in a mosaic-like pattern on the wall, a few of them that I recognized since we had worked together on them.
I took the piano stool, Rap and Merida took the bed, and Astrid lounged on the beanbag. These seats had never really been decided officially; they sort of just became, with an unspoken rule that we were never to take another's seat.
And I couldn't have been more thankful that even subtle things like this hadn't changed.
School was nearly back to normal, also. Nearing the home stretch, we were placed in the end of March. The Varsity Hockey team had dominated nationals (much to Jack's excitement) and the spring season was in full motion, Flynn dominating the playing fields with all of his "jocky-business", as we liked to call it.
Merida and the archery team were competing every other week, and Astrid was leading her track and field team to victory. Everything was almost perfect, or close as it was ever going to get.
Then of course, the arrival of spring also meant Anna's return from her term abroad. She had signed up for the quarter right after christmas, and since our parents had passed just around then, it was only a cruel twist of fate to the trip that she had so earnestly looked forward to.
Of course, Mike and Mellie, being the sweet people they were, let her go even though they had only recently adopted us. I, on the other hand, had retreated to wherever I went for a few months.
As we neared the end of the quarter, my expectations for Anna's return began to waver. She was constantly on my mind, even between classes or at the end of the day as I opened my locker and looked at a picture of the two of us on the door hung up with a snowflake magnet that she'd bought for me when we were younger.
At first, I thought she would have been thrilled to see me again. Then, on further thought, I knew she'd probably angry at me for not even saying goodbye to her (although she didn't know that I watched her from my window the whole time, wanting to have the potential last glance. And even after more time thinking, I began to fear that she didn't want to talk to me anymore, seeing that in my fifteen years of being her older sister, I had done nothing but abandon her for my own selfish reasons.
As I was thinking one day, Jack came by my locker (as per usual,) but he snuck up on me, sure to make it seem as if he wasn't there. He came from behind me and shook my shoulders, causing me to yelp and jump in surprise.
He laughed his casual laugh. "Hey, Elsie," he said, him smile omnipresent.
"Jack, you butt," I said bluntly, sure to whip my braid into his face as I turned back towards my locker to pack up my things.
He only laughed even more and hugged me from the backside, oblivious to my inner thoughts. I turned around and looked him in the eye, suspicious of his sudden lack of overvantness.
I raised my eyebrows in question, giving him a suspicious glare.
Jack, oh good old Jack, just shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just glad you're back, Elsa."
I smiled slightly at this, reaching up and ruffling his hair, much to his amused annoyance.
"No, seriously," he said, gaze softening, catching my hand with his atop his head, bringing it down. "I really really missed you, Elsa."
I smiled half-heartedly, and despite his kind words and gentle demeanor, I couldn't get my mind off of the possibilities that Anna may actually end up holding resentment against me.
Thankfully, Jack picked up on my wariness of the situation.
"Hey now," he said, lifting up my chin with his thumb. "What's wrong?"
I smiled gently and shook my head, turning back towards my locker.
He laughed. "Elsa, don't be so typical," he chuckled. "I know when something's wrong. Come on, what is it?"
I averted his gaze and looked at the books in my hand. "Anna's coming back tomorrow," I began, voice thick. "And I just don't know–"
"If she'll want to see you again, or if she'd be willing to accept you after what you've done," he finished gently. I guess my mouth fell open in surprise that he knew exactly what I was going to say, because he lifted his hand to close it. "Elsa, I know you," he said simply, one sided smirk evident on his face.
I shut my locker and swung my bag over my shoulder. We walked alongside each other, exiting the school and into the warm, crisp spring air. Almost all of the snow had melted from last week's storm.
Jack clicked his staff on the worn-down sidewalk, kicking pebbles along the way. I walked silently beside him, still silently distraught.
He peered down diagonally at my face, eyeing my troubled expression.
He laughed quietly and snaked his arm around my shoulders, massaging them slightly. "Talk to me, Elsa. Why would you think that Anna wouldn't love you anymore?" he asked, brutally blunt with a cut-to-the-point manner.
I sighed, grabbing on my shoulder with mine, swinging it around so I could hold it. "Jack, in essence, I abandoned her," I began shakily. "I was never there for her; she was always willing to sit and talk to me, and I would never take the time to because I didn't want to hurt her even more. She never did anything to me. But I did the worst of it all to her, I shut her out."
I looked down at the ground, suddenly aware of how vulnerable I was making myself.
Jack smiled and stroked my knuckles gently with his calloused thumb, formerly blistered by his hand-me-down hockey gloves.
"Elsa, you abandoned me too, right?" he asked softly, with no intention of offending me. "Well I never stopped loving you. As a brother, or as a significant other, or whatever you were willing to think of me as. Do you think Anna would be any different from me?"
I shuddered, averting his kind gaze. I hadn't told him a certain detail about Anna's and my relationship. I knew that she missed me, but I wasn't sure if she was willing to have me back.
He paused mid-step and stopped me from going forwards with his hand around mine.
"You're hiding something again," he said, eyes skeptical. "Tell me, Elsa. It won't do you any good to keep it locked inside."
I breathed out as I told him, walking as I stood.
"Before Anna left, she came to my door. She knocked one last time and sang that snowman song that we both loved. In a moment of boldness, I opened the door to talk to her, only to find that I didn't know what to say. I gave her a hug and told her to take care of herself. And I think she realized that I was still me."
He listened, attention focused onto me.
"Before I shut my door, she caught it. And she asked me why it couldn't always be like that, with the two of us so relaxed, almost like nothing had ever happened. I told her that it just couldn't, and despite her disagreements, I stood firm and said that it just couldn't. She then began to yell, asking why I shut her out and what I ever did to her, sort of like you did, Jack," I said, cracking a dry smile.
I swallowed, regret and guilt flooding my face, shame coating my skin. "And I just shut the door in her face, turning away from her."
By this time in the conversation, we'd arrived at Jack's house. We walked into his backyard, sitting down on the two-person bench swing that we'd always loved as little kids.
I raised one foot up onto the swing, hugging my knee to my chest, the other leg dangling from the white hunk of wood. Jack wat next to me, eyes still on me.
"And Jack, the guilt and regret that I felt for doing that to my own sister… it was almost enough to crush me as a whole," I said almost deadly quiet. "I just wish that I hadn't pushed her away, that I'd realized I was wrong before. I just wish that I'd been able to tell how stupid I was for shutting her out. And I wish that I could tell her that I missed her after all that time." I choked back a sob, not wanting to cry. Yet revealing all of this to Jack was darn close to making me cry like a baby.
Jack put his arm around me, leaning my head onto his shoulder and gently propped up his staff against the swing with his other hand. He stroked my hair, careful not to disturb the messy bun that I'd put up in my hurry this morning and cleared the fallen strands from my face, tucking them behind my ear.
Pressing his lips to my forehead, he spoke. "Elsa, it's okay. It's alright. What's done is done, but you can always fix it. You know what, tomorrow when she comes back, I want you to tell her exactly what you just told me." His voice was strong, firm. Confident, shining with confidence he had in me that I didn't.
"But Jack, what if…." I trailed off, not wanting to face this potential reality. "What if she gave up on me?"
He faced me, giving me his signature, adorable lop-sided smile. "I'd like to bet all of my money that she hasn't. Elsa, if you couldn't get rid of me, you definitely couldn't get rid of Anna," he said, voice determined yet playful. "Remember that she really is your sister; you're all she has left, Elsa. Of course she hasn't given up on you; she loves you more than anything else."
I smiled slightly, though I still had my doubts.
"Good Lord over the Moon, Elsa, you still don't believe me, do you?" he scoffed, white-blonde hair catching a glint of the sunlight as he angled his head to get a better look at my unsure expression. "I'll have to convince you, huh…"
His face lit up with a mischievous grin. My eyes widened and suddenly I experienced a jolting wave of fear, unsure of what he was going to do.
He cracked up at my expression and pulled my face closer to his, capturing my lips with his. Gentle yet reassuring, his presence permeated my mind, and all I could think of was him right in front of me, the boy I'd loved for years, kissing me.
As he pulled away, slightly breathless, he looked at me, eyes shining with his spritely fun. "Do I have you convinced?"
I nodded vigorously, smiling as I breathed out through my nose.
Now all we had to do was wait for tomorrow.
Yayyy! Again, sorry about the long wait. I hope the fluff makes up for it! And no worries, things won't be perfect in the next few chapters. Muahaha... just kidding, this story does have a happy ending :)
Any questions, concerns, criticisms, please leave a review in the doobeleydoo :)
An extra shout-out to all of my beautiful favoriters/followers/reviewers. Thanks for sticking with me and reading!
PianoPanda12