SAVE MY HEART FOR YOU
Summary: You don't give up on people you truly love. Whether they are in your life or stand on the edge of your heart, you want them to be happy. This is the truest kind of love because it gives more than it ever receives."
― Shannon L. Alder
Chapter Eleven: Cut me down...But it's you who have further to fall
It's not that you should never love something so much that it can control you.
It's that you need to love something that much so you can never be controlled.
It's not a weakness.
It's your best strength."
― Patrick Ness, The Ask and the Answer
Edward comes into his bedroom to find Bella sitting on his bed staring out his window, looking into the forest.
"Bella, what are you doing here?"
She looks over her shoulder at him and he can see that she's been crying.
"It's a girl," she says, quietly.
"What?" Edward asks, confused.
"My mom's having a girl. We thought…I thought it was going to be a boy. But I was wrong," she gives him a teary smile. "I'm going to have a little sister,"
Edward gives Bella a warm smile.
"That's wonderful, Love," Edward says and walks over towards her.
"I'm going to have a little sister," Bella repeats, "And I'm never going to meet her,"
Edward stiffens, knowing where this is going.
"Are you having second thoughts?" Edward asks, and Bella shakes her head.
"I want to postpone the wedding," she states. "Just until after my sister is born,"
Edward sighs and sits beside her on his bed.
"Bella, you know how dangerous it is for you to be around them. What if the Volturi-"
"You asked for ten years," Bella states quietly.
"What?" Edward questions and Bella meets his gaze firmly.
"Before you proposed," Bella says, "You asked me to give you ten years,"
Edward cringes.
"You said no," Edward reminds her and Bella sighs.
"All I'm asking for is a few more months. Please, Edward?"
"Are you sure this is just about meeting your sister? This isn't about…you're not regretting your choice, are you?"
"What?" Bella asks, her expression wounded. "No, Edward. I love you. you know that."
"Do I? Because it seems to me that maybe you wish you had chosen fire instead of ice," Edward's eyes darken and Bella looks away.
"This is not about Jacob," Bella mumbles.
"Funny, it feels like this is about Jacob." Edward says and Bella glares at him.
"What's your problem? I chose you. I'm marrying you! Jacob is my friend-"
"A friend you kissed passionately on top of a snowy mountain and who you admitted to being in love with." Edward interrupted.
"I love you more," Bella whispers and Edward places his hand on her thigh and forces his eyes to soften.
"That was true then…but what about now?" he asks.
Bella sighs, her shoulder slumping, and Edward fights back a triumphant grin.
"Maybe you should spend a little less time with Jacob," Edward suggests. "It's starting to confuse you."
Bella head snaps up and Edward is surprised by the anger he sees in them.
"No," Bella says.
"No?" Edward repeats.
"No," Bella stands up and crosses her arms. "I'm not going to say that I don't still have feelings for Jacob. But what am I supposed to do? He's my best friend and he was there for me at a time when I really needed someone. A time when you weren't!"
Edward flinches.
"So yes, I love him but you know what? I chose you! So, you're just going to have to deal with it!" Bella shouts.
Edward stands up and tries to calm her.
"Bella, I'm just trying to do what's best for you." Edward explains and stares into her eyes. "If you would cut down on the time you spend with Jacob-"
Bella shakes her head.
"Then you can use that time to be with your mother," Edward blurts impulsively and Bella's eyes soften.
"Those three weeks, when you were away at your mother's, weren't enough, right? Well, I'll let you go visit your mother every weekend if you cut down on the time you spend with Jacob," Edward bargains and Bella feels like her heart is being ripped in half.
He's really going to make her choose between Jacob and her mom?
"Don't you trust me?" Bella questions, her voice raw with pain.
Edward's nostrils flare as he tries to keep his face impassive.
"I do trust you, Love. But it's best not to take chances with the your life," Edward says, then gives her a charming smile. "After all, love, you are my life,"
You are my life now.
"You know, I thought that was the most romantic thing I had ever heard and after you said it I think I fell a little more in love with you," Bella says, "I can't believe you would use it as an excuse to keep me from seeing my friend,"
Edward doesn't look the least bit guilty.
Bella wishes that she could slap him, without breaking her hand, and her face hardens into a scowl as she breathes deeply through her nose. She turns on her heels and storms toward the door.
"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. I'll understand." He calls, and she slams the door so hard that few things fall off Edward's wall.
"She'll forgive me in the morning," Edward says to himself and smirks "She always does,"