X.
This time, you do not wake up alone. In the course of the night his arms have slipped from you and he lies on his back, snoring softly. You want to laugh, it's such a familiar sight to you, but at the same time, one you had not expected to ever see again. Smiling, you curl up against his side, idly stroking his chest.
It's strange to think that this will become the norm. That you will awaken beside him for many mornings to come... it was not even a possibility you had considered five years ago, when waking up at all every morning felt like a novelty. It had become almost ritual to count the heads at camp, making sure all of your companions were present.
Even the one in the far corner...
You bite back a frown. Morrigan. Resolutely, you had avoiding thinking of her.
The twisting in your stomach is back and you feel a little bit sick and somehow you're visualizing her in your place, curled naked beside Alistair and your entire body tenses. You had cried so deeply that night that it had felt as though your soul were cracking, somehow. No effort had been made to disguise your sobs, the selfish part of you hoping he would hear... he would come to you.
He had not.
Leliana had, as had Wynne. Both trying to comfort you without success, through no fault of their own. But if Alistair had heard your devastated weeping, he had given no indication the next morning. And so you had pressed on. Forced yourself to be strong. Faced the hardest trial of your own personal gauntlet and persevered, for better or for worse.
It took every ounce of willpower you possessed to refrain from throwing yourself into his arms the moment the Archdemon was slain. He had looked at you, with such relief and exhaustion and for a moment you had been convinced he was going to take it back, going to take you back... But he had merely smiled at you in the saddest way, and turned to tend to Oghren's injuries.
He shifts, pulling you back to the present and you can feel him blinking towards wakefulness.
And he can feel your tensed muscles.
"You're not allowed to reconsider." His voice, still thick with sleep, does not sound very sure.
"I'm not." You murmur quietly, kissing his shoulder lightly. "I'm just entertaining unhappy chains of thought."
You can tell he's frowning, even as his arms work their way around you and hold you close to his chest. "Don't do that." He admonishes. "Only happy thought-chains. Joyful ones, that bring cheese and toys to all the land."
You smile briefly, but the frown returns to your features almost instantly.
"What is it?" He still sounds vaguely panicked.
You sigh, knowing this would not be an easy topic to broach, yet knowing it was necessary. "I want to know..." You swallow, your voice feeling as small and hoarse as it had the night of the banquet when you'd found him in your room. "There has been no one else but you, Alistair." You hope your meaning is obvious.
He clears his throat, shifting slightly and for a moment your heart drops. "Other than..." he seems to be choosing his words carefully. "Other than disgusting blood magic rituals, it's only been you."
Somehow, this doesn't lessen the knot in your shoulders.
He can tell, though, and when did he become so attuned to you? "It was horrible, you know." His tone is conversational and he's stroking your back softly. "All I wanted was to go to you instead. Well, truthfully, to go anywhere that didn't involve Morrigan climbing on top of me in her unmentionables. I'm pretty sure the only thing that kept me from passing out in fear was remembering that your Dog had made chew toys out of basically everything she owned." He clears his throat again, slightly more serious. "My part in the entire thing was very... uninvolved. I just shut me eyes as tight as I could and imagined anything else. There was nothing sexy or romantic about it." He sounds vaguely offended at the thought.
Your breath comes out in a slow stream, you hadn't realized you'd been so on edge. And he laughs at you, still rubbing your back. "I never wanted anyone but you. And I won't have anyone else, for the rest of my life."
You laugh, already relaxing into his arms. "Is that your kingly decree?"
"Depends, I'll have to run it by my queen first."
Your heart soars to hear him say that. His Queen. Offhand, you think your mother would have been absolutely delighted to have married her daughter off to the King. It makes you smile, thinking of your parents attending the wedding... and, oh, you'll have to write Fergus to ensure he attends! And all of your friends, of course.
Leliana would likely be delighted at the prospect.
And in this moment you resolve that thoughts of Morrigan will leave your head forever, the past could not be changed now. You had a future to look forward to, a future with Alistair.
The last five years had been so much harder than you'd ever admit, but you can't help but think they were worth it, for this moment: settled comfortably in the arms of your beloved, ready to face the rest of your lives together.
He kissing the top of your head and you close your eyes, cuddling yourself impossibly closer. Getting up to face the day could wait, you'd rather stay right here for just a little longer.
Forever, really.