Chapter 10
AN: Argh, I know I am an awful person! Updates every Wednesday and then THIS! I'm going to make it longer because of that. At least I released two Doctor Who one shots in the week between my last update, but I realize that is totally irrelevant and does not compensate in the slightest. I am really so, So sorry!
The next morning, Fred and I woke up early. We worked seemingly endlessly on our prototypes, cutting it close to be early for breakfast. Lee had speculated that if we hung around the Great Hall more often, word would get out, and as it made perfect sense, we went along.
"Bet you're starving, skived off dinner and all!" Fred exclaimed as we made our way to the hall. I nodded, while internally groaning: I was going to have to eat like a pig today to play along. By the end of the day, I would weigh six times more than Fred. At least Ronniekins was there to provide some comic relief.
"Do mine ears deceive me?" Fred asked casually, squeezing next to Harry on the bench and pulling me down with him. I wasn't sure what Ron had said, but I knew this was going to be a good teasing session. "Hogwarts prefects surely don't wish to skive off lessons?"
"Look what we've got today," Ron muttered, ever the overdramatic teenager. "That's the worst Monday I've ever seen." I looked over Fred's shoulder to scan Ron's schedule, and he had a point: Fred and I would never have been able to make it through half of that day.
"Fair point, little bro," Fred confirmed, eyeing the schedule as I had. "You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you like." My twin and I had agreed on not giving anything free to family members (excluding ourselves, of course.) We told everyone that it was for fairness, but I secretly thought it was out of spite, as our immediate family had never exactly supported the idea of a joke shop.
"Why's it cheap?" Ron questioned, skepticism overflowing from his narrow-eyed expression. I knew I had to think of some hilarious reason and fast. After a few moments of hesitation, I decided on "Because you'll keep bleeding until you shrivel up, we haven't got an antidote yet." I realized everyone else had already gotten food, so silently speared the closest item and dropped it on my plate.
"Cheers," Our little brother mumbled. "But I think I'll take the lessons."
Then Hermione dared to speak of our joke shop endeavors. "And speaking of your Skiving Snackboxes," I glanced at Fred: That was the perfect name! Absolutely brilliant! Fred mouthed at me, and I nodded. "You can't advertise for testers on the Gryffindor notice board." The prefect continued, not even realizing she had just aided us.
"Says who?" I questioned, pretending to be entirely innocent.
"Says me," Said Hermione confidently. "And Ron." I slowly turned my head to my long nosed brother, and he added hastily, "Leave me out of it!"
Hermione glared at him like he was Snape, I could hardly contain my laughter.
"You'll be singing a different tune soon enough, Hermione," Said Fred, changing the subject. "You're starting your fifth year, you'll be begging us for a Snackbox before long." I noted that he had immediately adapted the name, I would have to remember that.
"And why would starting fifth year mean I want a Skiving Snackbox?"Question Hermione sharply.
I rolled my eyes, it was obvious. "Fifth year's O.W.L. year,"
"So?" Honestly, she could be so dull sometimes.
"So you've got your exams coming up, haven't you? They'll be keeping Question Hermione sharply.
I rolled my eyes, it was obvious. "Fifth year's O.W.L. year,"
"So?" Honestly, she could be so dull sometimes.
"So you've got your exams coming up, haven't you? They'll be keeping our noses so hard to that grindstone they'll be rubbed raw," I wanted to snigger at my brother's choice of metaphor, but I knew he thought it was clever so I bit my lip. Fred eyed me, so I continued hastily.
"Half our year had minor breakdowns coming up to O.W.L.s," I explained. "Tears and tantrums…Patricia Stimpson kept coming over faint…"
"Kenneth Towler came out in boils, d'you remember?" said Fred incorrectly. I didn't want him to be embarrassed, so I tried to be nice about it.
"That's 'cause you put Bulbadox Powder in his pajamas," I said with a slight smile. He beamed much more enthusiastically back, so I quickly looked down at my full plate.
"Oh yeah," He continued. "I'd forgotten…Hard to keep track sometimes, isn't it?" Why was he always changing the subject? Remembering what we'd done always made me feel guilty, I tried to move on.
"Anyway, it's a nightmare of a year, the fifth," I said quietly. "If you care about exam results anyway. Fred and I managed to keep our spirits up somehow."
"Yeah…you got, what was it, three O.W.L.s each?" Said Ron. That stung. I really had wanted to do well on those, so I could make Mum proud, but Fred made no effort, he was more focused on Quidditch. We had to match, so I gave up.
"Yep," My twin continued on, without a care in the world. "But we feel our futures lie outside the world of academic achievement."
"We seriously debated whether we were going to bother coming back for our seventh year," I said trying to be joyful. "now that we've got—" Wait! Harry will hate you if you tell! I glanced over at the boy in question, and he was glaring at me sternly. I gulped and continued quickly.
"—now that we've got our O.W.L.s. I mean, do we really need N.E.W.T.s? But we didn't think Mum could take us leaving school early, not on top of Percy turning out to be the world's biggest prat." It was true, I wanted to kill him for making everyone so upset.
"We're not going to waste our last year here, though," Said Fred nostalgically, acting as though he was the one who called this his favourite place, rather than myself. "We're going to use it to do a bit of market research, find out exactly what the average Hogwarts student requires from his joke shop, carefully evaluate the results of our research, and then produce the products to fit the demand."
"But where are you going to get the gold to start a joke shop?" Hermione questioned with suspicion. "You're going to need all the ingredients and materials—and premises too, I suppose…"
Fred said quickly, "Ask us no questions and we'll tell you no lies, Hermione. C'mon, George, if we get there early we might be able to sell a few Extendable Ears before Herbology." He slapped some greasy bread in my hand, noticing I hadn't eaten. I blushed and walked away quickly, he was close behind.
The day went by fine, absolutely fine, until the fourth class. Our first Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Toadface.
"Mr Weasley, I presume?" My head snapped up from my book, I had been squinting closely at the page. I really needed glasses, but I wasn't about to tell anyone. I would be the ugly nerd and Fred would be the athletic cool kid. Well, even more so than usual.
"Yes, Professor?" I tried to look as innocent as possible, but I was pretty sure my face was permanently set in a mischievous smirk, or so I was told.
"Sleeping in a class in the upmost disrespect you could ever give a teacher. Detention tonight, 9 o'clock." She snarled, grinning in a way I really didn't like. She was someone I quickly realized I couldn't cross, so I nodded timidly and looked back down at my book.
"I'll have none of that. You should say, 'Yes, Professor Umbridge.' Try again."
"Yes, Professor Umbridge." I chimed, trying to look confident, as I felt the whole class's eyes bearing into me.
"Good. Go back to work and I will not see you disrespect me again." I turned back to my book, no longer really reading anything. A detention without Fred. He was going to be at least a little proud, even if it was for senseless reasons. But what would happen? We usually found some way to communicate, little light flashes to form Morse code or even reverting back to the basics and passing notes. By myself, I didn't know what would happen.
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I found out soon enough. After Fred, Lee, and I had tested some products on several first years and had a good laugh, I went off to see Umbridge.