A/N: Finally, the last chapter (not counting the epilogue at least...i'll post that soon enough :)). I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Thanks again for all the reviews :)
Chapter 10: Staring at the Edge
Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Chronicles of Narnia don't belong to me (sadly). Credit goes to those who do.
Caspian's eyes widened as the rage spread through him upon hearing the familiar face speak such callous words. He was spent from having lived through his nightmare even just for a while in the last island and now it felt to him that they left one evil to fall into another.
A smile danced on her lips as she spoke again. "I am no illusion, King of Narnia. I do not bear a falsehood. I truly am neither woman that haunts your mind right now. In your life, I only represent what could have been, even if in your eyes I am the image of what you lost."
Even her voice sounded like Helen's. He wanted to shut out what she was saying and pretend that thus was Aslan's way of giving back Susan to him. He tried to imagine loving the creature in front of him as he once did the owner of that body. As he looked at the face he had known for three years, he searched through the unfamiliar eyes to see if he could find anything that linked her to Susan.
Nothing. This girl was a stranger though he knew every curve of her face and every note that voice can produce in the air.
"No one is shown what could have been, Aslan himself said that." Caspian argued
Soleana merely smiled and did not answer. The queen behind her found she could not move as if she was held by some enchantment that rooted her to the spot, silent and practically invisible. She wanted to run to Caspian and explain to him everything. Susan wanted so much to be with him and wipe away the hurt that dripped from every word he spoke. But in her heart, she understood that Caspian had one more mile to go.
"A possibility then." Soleana amended
"That would be saying it can still happen." Caspian said
"You have always been telling her she has a choice whether to stay or to leave with her siblings. Even if you don't say it I can see that you insist on giving her that chance to leave you. But you also have a decision to make. After everything, dear king, what do you choose? Can you really watch her walk away for a last time and spend your life wondering if she'll ever make it back to Aslan's country?"
Caspian's memories rushed back to him, each scene playing out from the moment he first met Susan flowing through to their second meeting with her as Helen. He remembered how he fell in love at first sight with Queen Susan the Gentle in that battle against Miraz. He admired her beauty and her strength in battle. He felt honor and pride to count himself among the many at her side.
Then he remembered the second time he fell for her—a slower kind of burning that caught him by surprise. She was, first and foremost, his friend. As Helen, she earned his trust the hard way but it was something she never lost after. She was the one who pushed him to be a king and a man before that. She held his dreams in her heart before he even realized it. She was the person he wanted to protect most in this world because he knew his life would lack the brilliance it did when she was beside him. In the end, she was the one who saved his life and not just from the giant. Helen saved him from making the fatal mistake of loving only the legend that Susan was but allowed him to accept in his life the woman she wholly is. Helen was the woman behind the king and Susan was the queen beside him, both of them filled his heart with nothing but the brightest love imaginable.
"Can you really choose to let her leave and live out the original fate intended for you with myself as your queen?" Soleana asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Caspian closed his eyes and relived the dream that plagued him when he believed Susan was still in another world. He was returning to Cair Paravel again, walking the length of the Great Hall towards the one person he wanted to run to. Her face was hidden from sight by the glare of the sunlight behind her but he knew this was his queen. Before he got to the middle of the room, childish giggles filled his ears as his son and daughter wrapped their arms around his legs, asking him to play with them. He laughed and carried each toddler in his arms and continued his journey towards the throne.
When he could finally see her, she held out her hands to him. He drank in the sight of his queen as he gently set down the two blond children in his arms. They quickly ran to their mother and clamored for her attention. Her long hair covered her face as she bent down to kiss the children. Her scent filled the air with a familiar aroma that made him feel home more than ever. She lifted her face and instantly his eyes sought for hers. He could only see blue. Even his imagination could not fathom pretending grey eyes can ever hold his love.
"I cannot," he replied his voice hoarse, "my choice will be to love her and be with her. I will find her and when I do, I'm never letting go."
Soleana smiled triumphantly and stepped aside to reveal Queen Susan in all her glory. Just like in his dreams she held out her hands to him and this time he ran to her. Caspian held Susan to him as tight as he possibly could without crushing her.
"You're alive," Caspian said his face full of joy and wonder at seeing her.
Susan nodded though her tears that she hastily wiped away. "This is it Caspian, forever and always."
Caspian nodded as he finally noticed everyone had finally disembarked from the Dawn Treader and were staring at them, jaws hanging agape unceremoniously. He laughed along with Susan at the expression on their faces, ranging from shock to relief and everything in between.
"I think we should give them something to talk about. It's been a long time coming and I think high time I asked you this," Caspian said dropping on one knee, "Will you be my queen, wife and friend, for all the days I walk this world and every minute after?"
"Yes," Susan said simply, a look of peace and contentment coming over her.
Caspian removed the necklace hidden beneath the collar of his shirt. He unlocked the clasp and let the pendant slide off the chain. Susan didn't recognize it at first but she gasped when she realized it was a ring.
He placed it on her finger, worried that it wouldn't fit since he had it sized from memory alone—just in case she ever came back he said to himself the day he thought she left. It slid down in one motion and Susan watched the sunlight bounce off the diamond in the center, reflecting her own dreams with it.
No one knew who started clapping or who was the first to congratulate Caspian and Susan. Lucy ran to her sister and squealed in her excitement.
Soleana covered her mouth as she giggled over the sight in front of her. People from the mainland were quite amusing. She caught the eye of the only one who wore a different expression, a boy with a mop of brown hair and equally dark eyes. He was rolling his eyes at the pair and muttered under his breath, "Finally"
Edmund walked past her and went to stand beside Caspian, "About time don't you think? A shame Peter isn't here to threaten you bodily harm if you ever hurt Susan."
"You're well within your right as a brother to do that." Caspian said amused
"Nah, I'll do that when it's Lucy's turn. Besides, I couldn't have picked a better man for Susan. No one else can claim they sailed to the edges of the world to find true love. You earned this."
Eustace cleared his throat from beside them, quite unsure how to offer his own congratulations to Susan, who last saw him as a whiny boy.
"Congratulations cousin. I wish you all the happiness possible." Eustace said formally
Susan gave him a big smile and hugged him to his surprise. "I trust you have met Aslan."
"How did you know?" Eustace asked, knowing that Susan wasn't there during his own adventure
"You are calm and it shows, you haven't whined once since you landed. It suits you well dear cousin." Susan said ruffling his hair
Soleana stepped forward and took both Susan's and Caspian's hands in her own. "It is my turn to offer my congratulations. I have listened to many stories of love the stars have seen but none of them compare to yours. Even the heavens would bend backwards for your destinies to cross and be one. You are the hope I have in the love possible in this life. Thank you."
She released their hands after a final smile and turned around to walk back to the pillars in the distance. They all followed her and walked towards Aslan's table and found three men asleep there—the last of the missing lords.
Reepicheep walked forward and tried to shake the men but they would not budge. He felt for a pulse and found a steady rhythm in each of the men.
"Are they dead?" Lucy asked as she took a step closer.
"No, they are under an enchanted sleep. They took hold of the Knife of Stone that holds a curse so that no one can steal it from this island." Soleana explained
"I've seen that before…" Lucy said trailing off
"The knife the White Witch used to kill Aslan on the stone table." Susan said, a twinge of hurt passing through her as she remembered the night she watched the events unfold helplessly
Edmund turned pale at the mention of the name and guilt washed over him. Soleana, as if sensing his discomfort, placed a gentle hand over his shoulder and gestured to a chair to his side.
"Come let us eat. You have traveled far and it is time to rest and partake of this banquet," she said inviting them to sit down
No one objected and quickly sat down to enjoy the marvelous feast before them. Never had they tasted food so fresh and sumptuous that they had second and third helpings. Even after that the table still seemed to be groaning under the weight of so much food.
Soleana's musical laughter filled the air as Eustace tried to finish off the bowl of pudding in front of him to no avail. "It is replenished magically, I do not think speeding up your eating will do anything to empty that bowl. Just enjoy the food."
Caspian laughed and admired the beauty around him, looking from face to face until he stared at the one that mattered most to him. He watched her talk to Lucy, how she laughed at something witty Edmund had said and how her smile reached her eyes when she looked back at him. He was at peace except for the last piece of the journey that he had yet to accomplish.
"My lady, how do we wake the three lords?" Caspian asked Soleana near the end of the meal.
"That, my king I can explain," said a voice from beyond the pillars. A door slowly opened in the distance, a bright light filtering through it framing a tall silhouette.
An old man stepped forward, his silver hair and beard shining in the moonlight. He smiled kindly at them all before taking a seat beside Soleana.
"I am Ramandu, a retired star. I believe you know my daughter," he said, "As you must have been told at some point, you are at the last island before you reach the furthest east where the waters turn sweet."
"Aslan's country! We are close! I was right!" Reepicheep said jumping up
"Yes," Ramandu confirmed," That is correct. The only way to break the spell is for one of your company to depart for Aslan's country and stay there in exchange for their freedom."
A hush fell over the table as they absorbed the task that laid ahead one of them. Susan could see the internal conflict rising within Caspian as he toyed with the idea of being the one to make the sacrifice. He had made the oath to find the seven lords and it was only fair that he be the one to take the fall. But as he looked at his bride to be, he could not find the courage to be anything but selfish. He wanted this future and not the obligation he felt he took upon himself the day he set sail on the Dawn Treader. Susan took his hand and shook her head slowly. Caspian could only look away.
"I will go." Reepicheep said solemnly, stopping Caspian from protesting, "Sire, it has been my dream to sail east and making this journey would even save them. There is no question in my mind that it should be me and not you. Your majesty, permit me the honor of going to Aslan's country."
Caspian looked at all the solemn faces around him and found that he was not being judged for not rejecting the chief's offer. With a deep breath, he sighed and nodded to Reepicheep.
"We depart when the sun rises. Thank you friend, for the service you do Narnia and the family I will have. We will not forget." Caspian said in gratitude
Reepicheep bowed solemnly and the star watched as things fell into place as he had seen. The way for Caspian and Susan was being paved by the ones who loved them as there was one thing left to happen—a lifetime of happiness for all the tears and rain that washed over them in the last few years. It's time for the happily ever after to start.
They set sail an hour before the sun rose and now Susan watched the horizon slowly come ablaze with light along with Edmund and Lucy. None of them spoke and simply enjoyed each other's presence, each feeling the void left in the absence of the fourth member.
"You think we'll get to be there at your wedding?" Lucy asked after a while
"I hope so. I'll need you two to give me away." Susan said hopefully
"As long as you don't need me to wear ruffles, I'll even dance with you at the reception." Edmund said
"Cair Paravel would look so beautiful in all the wedding decorations, " Lucy said wistful at the thought
Caspian listened to the conversation, not daring yet to bring the news he had just received from Aslan in his room. He could not intrude on this private moment just to shatter their musings with terrible news.
He wanted them to have a little more time together untainted by the inevitable but Susan turned around and motioned for him to join them. He registered how her face turned from one of joy to confusion and then fear as she recognized the sorrow on his face.
Lucy and Edmund shared a look and wondered at the silent conversation the two seemed to be having.
"Aslan spoke to me in my room. You are to join Reepicheep on the journey to his country." Caspian said, almost apologetically that he had to be the one to bring the news to them
"How much time do you think we have?" Edmund said deciding to be practical instead of emotional
"Not enough." Susan said
Caspian placed his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head to comfort her. It was going to be a painful round of goodbyes he could not shield her from. He would grieve with her and watch time heal the wounds. It was not much, but it was the best he could do—to simply be with her.
They sailed on until the wind died and the waters stilled. They could not see anything in the horizon but endless white and nothing beyond. They understood that finally it was time to part.
Drinian readied the boat for the four passengers it would take past the very end of the world. Lucy, Edmund, Eustace and Reepicheep stood in a line as their companions took turns to embrace them and wish them a good journey. It was tearful on both sides as they stowed memories of faces and places they had experienced together.
Susan hung back, wanting to prolong the moment and be the last to say goodbye. She shook the chief mouse's hand and bowed low to him.
"Thank you Reepicheep for removing any burden on Caspian's mind. I will remember this service forever." Susan said
"My queen, it is my honor. Love him well and remember to keep him from destroying himself in trying to be so noble even when it is not called for." Reepicheep answered
Susan moved on to Eustace who was still acting uncharacteristically shy around her. "I wish you well Eustace. I am proud of the change in you. I hope someday when you return to Narnia as I'm sure you will, we'll see each other again."
"Looking forward to it." Eustace said giving Susan a hug and a small smile.
Susan took a deep breath and approached her brother and sister but before she even got close, a loud roar reverberated all around them.
Looking out they all saw Aslan walking on the waters that had now stilled beneath the great lion. He seemed to be walking on glass towards them, magically finding a way to climb the ship and stand before them.
In all his glory he let out another roar as the passengers of the Dawn Treader dropped to their knees before the true king of Narnia.
"Rise kings and queens of Narnia. There is one gift I would like to give you before you say goodbye, a chance to witness the marriage of King Caspian and Queen Susan if you so wish."
The tears were falling fast from Susan and Lucy's eyes as the older queen nodded and stepped forward with Caspian.
"No other man and woman have I seen on this world to have overcome as many obstacles as the king and queen before me. They have endured a love that was almost lost to them for they were each created for worlds of their own. They have shown us how to hold on even when everything is going against you and have faith that life will do right by them someday. They made an example of their lives on how to keep hoping for a better day and a future worth working for. They lived through realities of being human and how small trials could teach you of another's character and strength. They showed us how to fight, for a country, for a right and for a life. Most of all, they showed us how to love in completely with all heart and spirit thrown into it that it could never go wrong." Aslan said nodding to Caspian to begin his vows.
"I lived most of my life in craving for a sense of family and love. In running away from my home that fateful night, I thought I was leaving behind the faintest idea I had of family. I did not expect that I was actually running towards it and calling it out of another world. You asked me once when I began to recognize you but not when I fell in love with you all over again. It was when you argued with me as no one had dared to do the minute I became king. You reminded me that beneath the trappings of royalty I had first to be a man, one that you deserved. I will spend my life trying to be the best for you and for the children we will have. I love you dear Susan." Caspian said
Susan swallowed before beginning her own speech, "If I had to do everything all over again I would. In spite of all the pain and heartache, I was blessed to see more than just the prince we met in the forest trying to lead the Narnians out of the darkness. In my eyes, I watched you struggle over the betrayal of your uncle and your capacity to forgive when you gave him his life. I saw you fight against for the truth even against your own people and suffer for it. I watched you fall weak to temptation and redeem yourself after. But most of the love I feel today is because of what I saw through Helen's eyes. I saw you grow up and be the king I expected you to be. I saw your devotion to the woman you loved and how hard you fought to keep it. I felt your love as you struggled to put my happiness before yours, even if the pain almost broke you. But most of all, it is in loving me in any form I come to you that I fell for you completely. Forever and always, I love you Caspian."
They joined hands and looked deeply into each other's eyes as Aslan blew a breath all around them. The great lion roared and sealed the marriage to the cheers and applause of all their witnesses.
"Long live the King and Queen of Narnia and all those who will come from this blessed union!"
Caspian kissed Susan on the lips with all the hope of a happy future within him. It was magical and in that moment they knew things would turn out even better than they imagined it to be.
When at last the merriment had died down, Susan embraced Edmund and Lucy a final time, finally able to say goodbye in peace.
"Tell Peter will you? Let him know I miss him and that I'm happy where I am. Tell him I love him." Susan said
"Of course. Caspian, take care of her will you?" Edmund said as he stepped inside the boat, which already had Reepicheep and Eustace in it. The king nodded silently and bowed to Edmund.
Lucy gave Susan a squeeze and boarded the boat, tears still lining her face. "Susan! Don't forget to tell your children we love them!"
Susan nodded, tears welling up in her eyes as well. Caspian held her to his side as they both waved to their family as they were lowered from the ship.
Aslan was waiting for them down below as he stood regally on the glassy surface of the sea. The great lion bowed to them and started off walking to the white horizon, the boat gliding gently next to him.
They watched until the boat was only a speck and eventually faded into the endless white. The wind began and slowly moved the Dawn Treader back from where it came from, back to Narnia.
"Do you think we'll see them again Caspian?" Susan asked her eyes still on the last point she saw her family
"Not soon, but yes. In the end, I know we'll meet again," he reassured her
As the night closed in over them, Caspian and Susan held each other and danced for the first time as husband and wife on the deck of the Dawn Treader. Over the stream of sweet nothings Caspian whispered to her ear, only one thing he said made her heart skip a beat—her own name.
"Susan."
It was then she knew without a doubt that her happily ever after had come at last.