I kick off my boots as I enter my house. I hadn't bothered tying them when I left Peeta's. I was too desperate to be alone in my house.

I cross to the couch in my living room and throw myself onto it. Tears had begun forming in the corner of my eyes as I crossed the road to my house. I bury my face in the pillows; no longer able to keep the tears at bay.

What is my problem? Why can't I just decide what I want? I am only causing us both pain.

I lie on my couch, sobbing into the cushions until late afternoon. I am ashamed of my weakness. Why is it that I can face an onslaught of genetically altered mutts, but the thought of admitting my feelings to another person paralyzes me?

Once I finally control my crying, I sit up on the couch and stare at the wall. I contemplate going over to annoy Haymitch again, but decide against it. As I begin to think of other possibilities, I hear the kitchen door open and close. Greasy Sae begins whistling in the kitchen.

I stand and follow the sound to the doorway. "Hi Sae" I say as I sit at the table.

"Hey there, Katniss. I hear you got some good news today." She answers as she turns towards me and smiles. Her smile slowly fades as she sees my face. My hair is a mess and my eyes are puffing and red, but she ignores it and continues. "Are you going to use your new freedom to go visit your mother?"

"No, at least not right now." I answer.

Greasy Sae and I continue to talk nonsense while she makes my dinner. We discuss the weather, the amount of mud and news that she heard about the developments in other districts.

She has just finished telling me about the success they've been having cleaning up the avalanche at the Nut in District 2 when she finishes dinner and places the plate in front of me. "Well I've got to get back to the grandkids. Ophelia was running a fever this morning and I haven't had a second to go check on her today." Sae explains.

"It is okay, Sae. I can clean up." I respond. She just smiles, nods and heads towards the back door. I dig into my dinner. I was too anxious this morning to eat and too upset this afternoon. The back door shuts behind Sae and I sit in the quiet, slowly chewing my food.

I finish my dinner and take the plate to the sink and begin running the water over the dirty dishes, when I hear a knock at the door. I pull my hands out of the hot water and grab the dishcloth off the counter, drying my hands as I head for the door.

I toss the dish cloth across my shoulder and I open the heavy wood door. The sun is setting and I see a dark silhouette on the porch. Peeta turns slowly to face me, in his hands he is holding a plate covered with one of his dishcloths.

I'm a shocked to see him again today, but then remembering how I must look; the messy hair, red and puffy eyes. A wave of uneasiness swells up inside me. I clear my throat of the lump collecting there and stammer. "Hey Peeta."

He seems a little startled at my appearance. "Good evening, Katniss." He looks at me curiously. "While I was in town picking up a few things, I got the ingredients and made these for you." He says as he pulls the cloth off the plate to reveal half a dozen cheese buns. My favorite.

A wave of joy hits me and I manage a smile. "Thanks, Peeta." I take the plate from him and motion to come in. Peeta starts to step forward, but stops suddenly looking down at his boots. I instantly fear that he is deciding against my invitation. But instead of turning away, he bends over and begins unlacing his boots.

Peeta follows me back towards the kitchen. I set the plate of cheese buns on the table and start towards the stove, asking over my shoulder. "Have you had dinner yet? I have just finished, but I'm sure I can find something for you if you are hungry."

"No, I've eaten, but thanks." He answers as he pulls out a chair and sits down.

I pull the dishtowel off my shoulder and set it on the counter. I turn to face Peeta at the table and lean my back against the counter. "Aren't you going to have one?" Peeta questions.

I smile softly and walk towards the table, pulling out the chair in front of the plate of cheese buns, next to Peeta. I start to feel a nervous warmth envelope me, sitting this close to him again. I take one of the buns and pull a piece off, placing it in my mouth. Though they taste as wonderful as ever, the butterflies bouncing around my stomach threaten to push the bread back out as I swallow.

I keep my face as calm as I can. "These are delicious as ever, Peeta. Here eat some." I reach towards him holding the bun. He gingerly takes it from my hand; his hand brushing my fingers in the process,s causing a new set of butterflies to begin bouncing around.

Peeta tears the bun in half and offers a piece back to me. We sit there quietly watching each other nibble the cheese bun until it is gone. I rub my hands together, removing any crumbs as I swallow the last bite and smile. Though it didn't feel that way at first, the addition of the cheese bun to my stomach has managed to stifle most of the wiggling in my stomach.

After a few moments, Peeta sets his hands on the table and analyzes the room before meeting my glaze. "I wanted to ask you something when you came over earlier, but I wasn't sure if I should. But after talking to a few people in town, I decided to go ahead."

His speech puzzles me a bit. But I nod in compliance and he begins again. "A few days ago. Before it started raining. I saw Gale come here. I had seen you head out earlier that day, carrying your bow and quiver, but I wasn't sure if you had returned when he arrived. Then when you did get back, I noticed that it wasn't much longer before I saw Gale leave…" Peeta pauses, glancing away. I can tell that he is nervous.

I want so badly to comfort him, but no words come for me to say. Slowly without thinking, I lift my hand and reach towards him, laying my hand across his knuckles and reassuringly give him a gentle squeeze.

Peeta looks down at my hand touching his; a shy smile crosses his mouth. Then looking back towards my face; he gathers the last of his courage. "Did you work everything out between you? Are you together now?" He asks, his voice cracking a bit.

I slide my hand back as I lean against the back of my chair and cross my legs in the seat. I clear my throat as quietly as I can. "Yes, I think we did work out most of the issues between us." I pause slightly as he looks away, but I begin again quickly. "But no. Gale and I are not together and we never will be." At this I look away, scared what his reaction might be.

Peeta's eyes dart towards my face; trying to examine some detail that I haven't said. "Is it because of him? Or you?" I can see the glimmer of hope on his face from the corner of my eye.

"Because of me." I pause briefly, staring at my hands on the table. "And it isn't because I hold him responsible for Prim's death. Because I don't anymore. That was Coin. But it is because…" I trail off. I am anxious and nervous.

I glace over at Peeta. He is staring straight at me, grasping at every word I say. I feel the pressure mounting in my head; my heart is beating rapidly as though it will jump from my chest at any second. The butterflies are gone, but have been replaced by something much worse. I jump up suddenly, seriously considering running away to hide. Instead I turn away and facing the counter. I grab the edge to steady myself. I inhale deeply, closing my eyes.

I hear Peeta stand, taking a step towards me. "It is because of what Katniss?" His voice is shaky as if he isn't sure if I am battling myself to keep my emotions hidden or if I'm having some kind of seizure.

I know I have to answer him. I exhale slowly and turn to face him again. The words begin stream from my mouth uncontrollably. "It is because when he kisses me. I feel nothing. I don't feel a fire burning in my chest. I don't get anxious when I'm in a room with him. I don't…I don't love him." As I say this, the emotions I have kept inside for so long begin to rush out. Tears begin to run down my cheeks, my legs give out and I slide onto the floor.

Peeta looks down at me, finally broken. His eyes are soft and kind, like the boy I knew those nights on the train. He bends over and scoops me up off the floor and carries me up the stairs to my room. He lays me onto the bed; I curl up into his chest just as I had all of those nights. I lay there with him as he stokes my back calmingly as I close my eyes listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. The quiet peacefulness I feel soon lulls me to sleep. But just before sleep overtakes me, Peeta gently kiss my hair and I feel as if things are finally falling into place.