Rose: (groans) Hi peoples... (slams head on desk)

Horo: What's eating her?

Ren: Well, she's losing subscribers and friends on Youtube, and she's worried that she's next. Sue Death Toll: 26 Sues down.

Rose: We can do better than that, peoples! Come on! (pounds fist)

Horo: Rose-Sempai does not own Shaman King. She does, however, own several drawings of Ren. I don't get what you see in that guy.

Ren: I'm more of a bishie than you are.

Rose: It's a girl thing. ON WITH LE FIC!

"So, we all know the plan, right?" Horo leaned over the table in a shadowy, mob boss sort of way.

Lyserg raised his hand. Horo acknowledged it. "There is no plan."

Sagittarius nodded. "Actually, I have one. Ren, you did practically nothing last time we went Sue-hunting, so this time you get to be the bait." Ren snarled, while Horo snickered. "Not to mention that you sat out last time, too, Horo. Just for that, you get to join us."

Horo groaned. "I hate you."

Lyserg put a hand on Sagittarius' shoulder, which was actually rather difficult, seeing as Sagittarius was a lot taller than he was. "Hate him or not, he's still our only choice."

Sagittarius smiled knowingly. "You just want a chance to help me shoot again, don't you?"

Lyserg sighed. "You know it."

"Do I really have to do this?"

"Come on, all you have to do is run. You're good at that, right?"

"What is that supposed to mean!?"

"Nothing, but if you're bad at running, you're dead."

Sagittarius sighed as he watched Ren and Horo argue while Lyserg helped him set up his weapon. Hao stood lookout.

"Guys, you did practically nothing last time we went hunting. It's time for you to pitch in." Sagittarius explained as Lyserg hooked up a metal support to the weapon.

Ren pointed at Horo. "If he falls behind, it's not my fault, and I'm not going back-"

"I see them! They're coming!" Hao slid down the tree. "Horo and Ren, shut your yaps and get going." Hao shooed them away as he walked over to Sagittarius. "Do you think they'll be okay? Even if it's only two semi-Sues, their power during the match..."

Sagittarius shook his head. "I doubt that two semi-Sues can hold their ground against two ticked-off Shaman. Semi-Sues are really the true embodiments of a fangirl's wants and wishes. Ren and Horo probably won't even break a sweat."

Oh, how wrong Sagittarius was.

"REN-KUN! MARRY ME!"

"HORO-KUN! I'LL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

"This sucks." Ren muttered, jumping over a gopher hole.

Running beside him, Horo panted. "Totally."

Up on the hill, everyone was keeping a far distance from Sagittarius and his weapon.

Ren's gaze drifted from the path in front of him to the others on the hill. "If I beat you up there," he yelled to Horo, "We won't have Chinese food for a week!"

The thought of having something other than Chinese food brightened a spot in Horo's mind. "You're on!" He picked up his pace. Ren, not wanting to lose his own challenge, followed close behind.

That is, until he felt the ground lift up from under his feet. Looking down, Ren saw that Horo was screaming at him, and Bason was wailing for the Young Master to come back.

Looking up was a whole other ballpark. A huge, dark gargoyle was holding Ren tightly but gently by his red shirt. Nishayako was sitting comfortably on the gargoyle, hurling knives at the group on the hill. It was a clever plan: Horo would obviously stop, and Ananara would be able to grab him. They killed two birds with one stone.

"You think you're pretty clever, don't you?" Ren hissed at Nishayako.

She looked down, her red eyes shining. "I'm not clever, I'm brilliant, my adorable Ren-kun."

Right when she said that, time stopped.

Horo smiled widely. "First lesson with Ren: never, ever call Ren adorable. Now that girl's in for it."

Grinning, Yoh motioned for Sagittarius to aim his weapon not at Nishayako, but to focus it on Ananara. "Ren's got it."

"HOW DARE YOU CALL ME ADORABLE! I'LL SLIT YOUR THROAT!" Ren grabbed his Houraiken and, true to his word, slit Nishayako's throat, causing her to bleed. Not all too surprising, her blood was thick pink glitter dotted with tiny sequined stars.

She gasped. "Nooo! My perfect sparkly life! I was supposed to save Ren's life, then commit suicide because my family didn't want me to marry him, then come back and run away with hi-"

Her sentence was cut short as Ren jabbed his sword through her throat. "Scum of the earth. Let's clean the world a little bit."

Dark gargoyle disintegrated, and Ren landed carefully on the hill. "There. One Sue gone-"

"HELLLPPP MEEEE!!"

"....And one to go." Ren looked over the setting sun at Horo running at top speed away from Ananara, who was chasing after him with open arms.

Lyserg motioned for Ren to step aside. "Sagittarius is letting me shoot this time."

The Sue-hunter blinked. "I am? Really?"

Lyserg ignored him and waited for Horo to pass him. Aiming at Ananara, he fired.

She gasped as the bullet pierced her body. "Nooo! I didn't even have a second fight in the Shaman Tournament! You're so mean! Mean, mean, mea-" Ananara exploded with a bunch of pink sparkly dust before she could finish ranting at Lyserg.

Hao blinked. "I thought they exploded with a bunch of black crap. Sagi, what happened?"

Sagittarius nodded. "Full-fledged Sues do. Semi-Sues don't."

As they were coming down the hill, Sagittarius asked Ren an important question. "Ren, why do you go berserk if a girl calls you adorable?"

Ren blinked. "Oh, it's simple, really. Adorable is for kittens and puppies. I am neither."

Rose: I'm having a sucky day.

Horo: Why?

Ren: If you were paying attention, someone spoiled Naruto for her.

Rose: Next chapter, JayJayChan, your Anti-Sue will appear! Be on the lookout!

Ren: Reviews kill Sues...

Horo: .....And Ren plushies make Rose happy!