Love is a trick
A cruel thing of fate
It is not something learned
It is not natural
You must be raised in it to accept it
You must know it to give it
You must feel it…
To understand
Do you understand Sasuke?
The truth of love?
Or are you like me,
Doomed to be alone.
.:Come Home:.
It had been the first day of winter break,
You probably don't remember it
Today wasn't about you
In fact this whole event doesn't even involve you
Originally… at least
But I'm telling you this so you can understand
So you can understand my world
The world you didn't see
No snow had fallen
The air was chilling to the bone.
And I was choking on my own breath
Pain always seemed to be the thing that loved me most
I used to believe that you were pain in its true demonic form.
But I am getting ahead of myself Sasuke…
Of our story…
As I stated it had been the second week of winter break
I was outside at the end of the driveway …
Waiting as…
Waiting for the one thing in this world that made me feel safe
The one true glimpse of happiness I had
His car pulled up beside me
I remember...
Hearing the cut of the engine
The squeak of an opening door
Seeing his tall frame tower over the car
His long black hair swaying in the breeze
He was the only person who could protect me
"Hinata, What are you doing out here" He chuckled
"Cousin Neji!" I smiled, running up to him
Wrapping my arms around his heated body
"My god your freezing" He exclaimed, placing me down
"I hope you haven't been waiting out in this cold for long"
"Nope" I hummed, hugging him once more
Only 3 hours
My cheeks burned
My head throbbed
My frostbitten fingers shook in pain as I clutched him
But I would never tell him the truth
All of the pain I had suffered silently?
It was always worth it
When he was here
Sasuke… please don't misunderstand, I'm not in love with my cousin. I do love him … only like a brother.
We had a happy childhood while She was living. When we were young he would protect me from everything, like the dogs that scarred me and other things which threatened my young heart. He found it as his duty to look after me as being the older cousin. We would involve Her as we frolicked. She would chuckle as we acted out plays we wrote for her in her garden. Father would visit us in the garden, giving a silent smile. Life was good.
We had all been happy.
We were all smiling…
Till…
Till She was gone. Everything, all of the happiness that once filled our house fell apart. Father rejected her side of the family. They blamed him for Her death and he blamed them. War within the house separated Neji and I. Venom was split between both families and Neji shared in that hatred. He was no longer my protector, but my bully.
It wasn't till years later in high school Neji and I reconciled, it took time but it was worth it. Whenever he visited me, my father would be on his best behavior, which meant he would usually avoid us like the plague. Father typically wouldn't be angry if he knew Neji was coming. Neji was respected among the family, in the past and even now. Neji was everything I wasn't. Neji was everything my father wanted me to become. Father hoped that by having Neji in my presence that I could some how better myself, becoming a sutible heir, wife, or whatever Father planed for me to become.
I didn't care how father saw it though, as long as I could see him.
Neji was one of the very few people whom I could be completely relaxed around. I could be myself, my inner self. I would tell him practically everything, everything except my father and his mood swings. He never really knew how bad father had gotten, but I'm glad I could trust in him. Neji was now at college out of state so I didn't get to see him that often anymore, but when he did visit, this house would become a home again, if only for a moment.
"So what is for supper?" he questioned letting me go from his warm hug
"Supper" I sighed nervously.
Usually I was the one to make dinner for him when he came home but..
I didn't want to go back into that house.
I didn't want him to be in that house either,
Father was in a mood.
I stumbled looking for an excuse,
Some form of text I could use to persuade my cousin that we should wait.
I started fiddling with my fingers…
A trait from my childhood I could never seem to escape.
Words…
Statements…
Remarks….
I couldn't verbalize a single explanation for …
I could never tell him what lay under my winter hat
The black and blue hues once yellowing now turning purple
The mood father had to be in for this to happen
The mood he was in right now
He would run to my defense, Sasuke.
Just like when we were little…
He always wanted to be the noble hero,
Honor and Justice were things close to his heart…
and always should be.
But if he knew about my father
What my father did,
What my father does,
He wouldn't be able to do a thing legally,
Neji might play fair,
But my father did not,
Especially when it came to things father wanted
He would do anything necessary to get his way
No matter the cost
I couldn't tell him a thing.
I never could
"Hinata" Neji had responded softly, like he knew the worries going on in my head. "Have you not started dinner yet?"
Dinner was finished.
It was one of his favorites…
Herring Soba.
But it was now on the floor.
Father was angry
He was mad
And when I had been cooking in the kitchen prior Neji's arrival
Father yelled
He threw things
He hurt me.
He must have had a bad day at work,
That usually was the reason he would get upset so quickly
I remember thinking it was my fault too,
That I set him off with my stupid statement,
That I told him we were out of salt.
That I should have known better
That I knew when Father is in a bad mood, it was best to be quiet and silent like a mouse.
But that is the way growing up in my household made me think
That it was always my fault.
In fact, sometimes I believed your odd fascination with me was my fault.
But back to the story...
"Hinata" Neji had chuckled, hugging me once more "It is okay. You can cook for me tomorrow; we will eat out tonight"
And with those simple words
All of my nervousness stopped
His action…
His warmth in trapped me like a blanket.
What love he had
What understanding
It was all their fault,
His parents.
I remember Aunt and Uncle only in moments
I had not seen them since my childhood
Father had no real need for them after Mothers death
And since Uncle died in the war,
Father saw no need to see my Aunt at all
She wasn't considered "family"
But Neji was.
This always seemed to anger him,
I never really knew, or understood,
until we Neji and I reconnected
What I remembered most about Aunt and Uncle…
Was smiles.
They were always smiling, together
They loved each other so much
I envied Neji.
He was raised in this love
He came out okay,
I didn't.
I was broken.
I had no Voice
I had no personality
I was only a shell for my father.
This was my life now
Since She died.
If only I had the love in my world like he did,
Would things have ended the same way between us, Sasuke?
"Okay" I smiled, tightening my arms around him "But it has to be your favorite place okay?"
"Sure" Neji smiled as he opened the car door
Author Notes:
So guess which authors computer broke after she wrote 3 chapters, only to get her labtop returned with its HARD DRIVE ERASED... Sigh. Im not begging for forgivness her but i am apologizing for the lack of stories... I will post more i promise.
Anyways you guys were messaging saying "when's Neji going to show up?" and "wheres Neji?" Well here he is! And trust me more characters are coming. Neji's characteristics are not completely shown right now, but you will get more of an idea on who he is and what is his role later, and beleive it or not he has a big one. Originally i had two ways this story was going to go right now, and i had been torn between them, then you, the writers, inspired me into a whole NEW plot twist, one that i needed so badly, and like. You all answered my problem, and ill tell you what the problem was when it happens in the story. I'm not a spoiler XP
So what is this thing about communities on Fanfic? Ive never really bothered looking at my stories but somehow this one is attacked to the kamoku Ai: Shy love community? I don't remember giving the okay to make it part of a community but... oh well. Its sasuhina anyways.^^
So thank you for reading, sorry for the monthly update. And please
Comment and tell me what you think! I need you guys as much as you need me to write
Ps. To whoever yunako is. Thankyou very much for the review. It was very indepth and made me happy to be writing this story. I would have PM-d you this thanks but there was no attachment to your username. I did want to thank you though.