Author's note - I'm sorry I took so long to update; was down with the flu and then just down in the dumps ... Thank you so much for following this story and big hugs to those who have taken the time to review. Keep reading xx

Chapter 11

It seemed more crowded than usual at the space port but I managed to get a little table at one of the many restaurants in the dining area. I ordered a coffee and a turkey sandwich and after the harassed looking server had left, I settled back in my chair and looked around.

There were an awful lot of very 'interesting' people rushing about but I found it difficult to keep my mind clear of Darcy-related thoughts. I knew there wasn't much point dwelling on what had happened. I had made it very clear to him that I wanted nothing to do with him and I would probably never see him again. I knew that I had done the right thing. Unfortunately, it didn't make me feel any better. After the things he had said about my family, there was no reason to feel bad about the things I had said to him. But I couldn't help feeling that I hadn't acted like I should.

To get my mind off things, I was contemplating calling Dad and then Kel when my comm. buzzed with an incoming message. Must be Dad, I thought as I checked it but to my shock it was from Darcy! What more could he have to say? The subject line just said 'please read'. I hesitated before opening it – was it better to just delete it without reading? My curiosity got the better of me and I opened the message.

Ms. Bennet, it started. I felt a pang on reading that and then felt mad at myself. Did I want him to call me Beth?

Thank you for not deleting this message – I know that you probably do not want to hear from me ever again but I ask you to allow me to explain my behavior and actions. Please …

I'd like to start by apologizing for the things I said about your family – my comments were uncivil and prejudiced. As you pointed out, neither I nor my family is perfect … I have always thought of myself as an open-minded person and it was a shock to realize that you were correct when you called me a snob. I have been fortunate to have a privileged life and did not realize that I had come to view people outside of my social circle as inferior and to judge them differently. So I am grateful to you for making me realize that.

Well, I had to be fair and admit that he definitely hadn't seen Lydia at her best. But he was not making any allowances for her age. There was no reason for him to talk as if my family were lepers. Mom was a bit of a social climber but she wasn't rude to people – I am sure anyone would prefer spending time with my mother to being stuck in a room with his aunt! I wasn't sure if I forgave him for the way he had spoken about them but at least he admitted that he was in the wrong.

There are a few things you brought up when we last spoke that I'd like to discuss further. Firstly, I'd like to explain why I acted the way I did and interfered in Zach's relationship with Jane. I've known Zach a long time and consider him one of my closest friends. He is a wonderful guy but he is very emotional and tends to fall into relationships too quickly. A few months before he met Jane, there was a relationship that ended badly when he found out that the girl was two-timing him. So when he started talking about marrying Jane after knowing her for just a few days, of course I got worried! I watched how she was with him and while it was clear that she liked him, I did not think that she felt for him as deeply as he did for her. I decided to do what was necessary to protect my friend - I hinted to Zach that perhaps she was more interested in his money and that she did not love him. It was cruel of me to play on Zach's insecurities but I rationalized it by convincing myself that he would be even more upset if she hurt him later on. This was the same thought that consoled me when I saw Zach's heart-broken behavior. When you told me about how deeply Jane was hurt, I was remorseful at having caused both of them pain. I regret my interference in their relationship but given the facts known to me at the time I think I acted like a good friend would.

I was angry with Darcy again. How could he make assumptions just on the basis of watching a few interactions between Jane and Zach? And to tell Zach that Jane was interested in him only for his money. Poor Zach. No wonder he had looked so tormented when I saw him. I understood now why Zach had left without saying anything to Jane – his feelings for her obviously ran deep and true and Darcy's suggestion had really wounded him.

The second issue I wish to discuss with you is Hal's relationship with my sister, Gemma. I don't know what Hal has told you, but with my prior knowledge of his character, I am sure that it was a highly edited version of events. Gemma is six years younger than me. When our mother passed away from cancer, she was only three years old. Our father was never the same after Mom died, and he immersed himself in his business to forget his grief. Gemma and I were always very close to each other. She had a wonderful nanny but I was the one she wanted when she was hurt or upset, excited or happy. I tried my best to make time for Gemma and compensate for the lack of loving parents. Then Dad suffered a heart attack and passed away; I was twenty-one and Gemma fifteen. Although Dad was a distant parent, I was traumatized by losing him and withdrew into myself for a few months after his death. It didn't help that there were a lot of issues with the business that needed to be resolved – he had never expected to die so early and had not made arrangements beyond a will that left everything to me and named me as my sister's guardian. I had to put my studies on a hiatus while I sorted out the problems. I was not home much during this period. I knew that Gemma needed me but I was not in a healthy state of mind and felt that my presence would likely only add to her despondency. Unfortunately, at the same time her nanny had to leave to take care of an ailing relative. I found a lady to be a companion to Gemma – I should have made more of an effort to find someone whom Gemma would like and who was affectionate but at the time I just wanted to finish another 'job' that had been heaped on my shoulders.

When her summer holidays started, I sent her to stay at our house on Earth Moon, hoping that a change in environment would cheer her up. I should have remembered what Hal was like …. He was our caretaker's son and a constant thorn in my side from when we were small boys. He was a year younger but always a large boy while I was small and skinny. He bullied me but I didn't want to be a sneak so I never complained about him but tried my best to avoid him during our visits there. Dad was fond of Hal's father and was therefore in the habit of encouraging Hal to come and play with me. I disliked our vacations there until I finally came into my growth and became much bigger than Hal. Like all bullies, Hal never picked on anyone who wasn't smaller than him so he left me alone after that. While Gemma was a baby, he never paid any attention to her but when she became a teenager he started trying to spend time with her. I was always suspicious of Hal's intentions and did what I could to make sure he was never alone with Gemma. I knew that Hal was into drugs and suspected that he had also starting stealing in order to fund his drug habit. There were some unexplained burglaries in the neighborhood which occurred whenever Hal was at home. He was never a good student but after he managed to finally finish high school, my father paid for him to go to a vocational school for a course in office management since he planned to offer him a job in one of our offices. At the time Gemma went to stay on Earth Moon, Hal had dropped out of this course and was doing nothing much besides getting into trouble. I didn't know that he was there – he had left the school the week after Dad's death.

Gemma was easy prey for him. She was sad and lonely. I messaged her daily but called infrequently. Her school friends were back on Earth and there was no one else for her to talk to besides Hal. I will always hate him for what he did to her … and I hate myself for not being there to stop him. I don't know what made me decide to go on a short trip to see Gemma. I was very busy at work but noticed that Gemma's messages to me had become very stilted and short. I tried to call her a few times but couldn't get through on her private number and when I finally called the house, they told me that she had gone out with Hal. I left for Earth Moon that same day. When I arrived, Gemma was at the house. She went white when she saw me, a look of fear on her face. I was upset when I saw that – how had I gone from a beloved brother to someone she was scared of? But I think my hurt expression was what made her confide in me – she read the emotions on my face and realized that I was not some distant figure who didn't care about her – in spite of all the vitriol that Hal had poured into her ears. We had a long talk … she told me that she loved Hal and that he wanted a serious relationship with her. I was shocked but didn't know how to make her understand Hal's true nature. I called his father and told him to ask Hal to come to the house. When I saw his smug face, I wanted to punch it so bad that I don't know how I restrained myself. He went to Gemma's side and told me that they were in love with each other. I had to listen to him go on about how important she was to him. I knew that I could threaten him since he had a relationship with a minor but I didn't want it to become public knowledge – with our family constantly in the news, it would be difficult to keep something like this private. And that was what Hal had been banking on. I decided to take another approach and let Hal know that under the terms of Dad's will Gemma was not left anything. What she received was completely up to my discretion. That was when Hal revealed his true colors. He was stunned at the news and kept asking about the trust that had been set up for Gemma. I assured him that there was no trust and then he said that he would leave Gemma alone for a substantial sum of money. My poor sister went pale when she heard that. I didn't want her to be hurt further but I wanted to make sure that Hal had no chance with her again, so I let her remain in the room while we negotiated on the sum to be paid. I then pulled out my ace – I had proof that Hal was involved in some of the burglaries that had occurred in the last two years and I also had details about his drug habit and his dealers. This was information that a private investigation agent working for me had managed to dig up in the last few hours and had sent to me just as I had arrived on Earth Moon; I had only contacted them at the last minute before I left Earth - it always amazes me what you can do if you have money and contacts. I made it clear to Hal that if I heard anything about his relationship with Gemma, I would make sure that he ended up in jail. Without this additional hold on him, I was sure that he would try his luck with her again.

My sister took a long time to recover from the damage he had done to her faith in people. She was luckily not pregnant and therefore able to pretend nothing had happened, but that experience colored her life. She is now studying law and has grown into a lovely young woman. I had not heard from or seen Hal after that until I met him on Titan so it was shock to see him with you. The way I spoke to him that day must have surprised you but now you understand why I loathe him.

Oh! I had to stop reading, I felt so bad ... I remembered what I had said to him about his reasons for not letting his sister date Hal. What a fool I was! Why did I believe what Hal had said? That poor girl, just fifteen and an orphan … and then to fall for Hal's routine. I knew how I would feel if it had been my sister. It was unlikely that I would have had enough self-control to restrain myself from slugging him. Darcy had behaved with maturity. His actions had been guided by what was best for his sister and he hadn't given in to his need for revenge. And I had defended that slime-ball and blamed Darcy.

With a sigh, I got back to reading his message.

The last topic that I want to raise is the way I behaved with you. I have been thinking back to all our interactions with each other and I now understand why you said that I was rude. The truth is that I was always so aware of you that I was unable to behave normally, and was always confused about what to say to you. I was initially trying to avoid spending any more time than necessary with you - I've already told you the reason. That day at the party when Zach suggested I ask you to dance, I wanted so much to dance with you but I wasn't sure I could hide my feelings if I did. I am sorry that you overheard what I said and that you were hurt. What can I say? You muddle my head. If someone had told me that a woman could have that kind of effect on me, I would never have believed them.

If I had known what you thought about me, I would never have kissed you – I guess that I've been called the 'hottest bachelor on Earth' so often that I believed it myself. I admit that kissing you was one of the happiest moments of my life, but you have made your feelings clear and I will not repeat any declarations of my feelings.

Best wishes always,

Will Darcy

So many different thoughts were whirling around in my head. I kept thinking about things that Darcy had said or done. I realized that I had decided quite early on that he was a snob based on what I knew about his background and his stilted behavior on our first meeting. If I had not read up on him before, would I have just thought that he was shy? In hindsight, I realized that I had drawn conclusions about him based on what he had 'not' said or done. The only time he had actually done something that could be classified as rude was his comment to Zach when he had suggested that Darcy ask me to dance. He hadn't actually behaved badly to Lydia or Mom; he had even turned up at the party Mom threw. And his behavior with Hal seemed very restrained in the light of the story that I now knew.

Oh … what a mess I've made of things. I wasn't sure if I should reply to his message. Should I send some sort of acknowledgement that I had read it? But would he take a reply as encouragement to contact me again? Did I want him to contact me again? At the thought of seeing him, my heart lurched.

"Excuse me?"

I came out of the fog I was in to realize that the server was in front of me and looking rather fed up. She had obviously been trying to get my attention for a while. I found that I had already finished my coffee and sandwich.

"Would you like something else?" she asked.

There was still a half hour to wait so I ordered another coffee.

I felt a bit shaky. I thought of what Darcy had said about having become a snob without realizing it. And knew that I was worse … I had been so loaded with prejudices that I'd completely misinterpreted things and arrived at a whole lot of incorrect conclusions about him. And I'd hurt him badly. I found that I was upset about that – I had never meant to lead him on but when I thought back on how I had behaved, I had to admit that I had given mixed signals. For all that I had protested to myself that I disliked him and was only being polite, I had spent time with him when I could have avoided it. He hadn't had a clue that I had a bad opinion of him because I never said anything out loud to him, and my body language had clearly been sending a 'come hither' message. Did I want to try to patch things up – to try to have a relationship with him?

I contemplated how Jane must have felt when Zach disappeared on her without any goodbyes. Darcy's explanation of his behavior made things clearer but although I understood why he had done so, I still couldn't forgive him for it. He had hurt two people unnecessarily.

I paid my bill and made my way to the restroom to freshen up before I went to the pick-up point. Stop thinking about him, I told myself.

The sanctuary had better be amazing – I needed something to take my mind off all of this. There was nothing I could do about any of it. Just try to learn my lesson from this experience and to move on.

The transport was one of those 20-seater hovercars and painted a very colorful yellow and green. I was the only person waiting at the space port pick-up point. As I stepped onboard, I glanced around quickly and saw that there about a dozen people inside. I took a seat two rows from the front on the left side since there were two girls around my age sitting a row behind. I wanted someone to talk to so that I wouldn't have time to think.

I turned around and smiled at the girls as the transport sped away from the port.

They grinned back at me and we introduced ourselves.

I was surprised to learn that Charlotte 'Charlie' Williams and Marietta 'Mar' Williams were also from Titan. They'd heard of our flight school and were suitably impressed when they learned that I was a pilot. They were on a short vacation with their parents – a sweet looking middle-aged couple dozing in a seat at the back. Mar was in her first year at college doing resource conservation and Charlie had just finished her degree in solar engineering. This trip was actually a reward for Charlie for doing well in her exams.

Mar had learnt the sanctuary brochure by heart and spent the first half of the drive telling me about everything that I could expect to see there. In normal circumstances, I found girls like her slightly irritating but in the state of mind that I was in just then, it was a relief to not be able to think. Charlie was the quieter sister. She got her Mar to stop talking about the sanctuary after a while and we discussed the other places they had visited on Earth.

Talking with Charlie was somehow soothing. She was probably only a couple of years older than me but she had a maternal feel about her that appealed to me – perhaps because my own mother was not particularly maternal. I suppose her appearance contributed to that; her old fashioned hairstyle made her plain but pleasant face look even rounder and she tried to disguise the fact that she was slightly overweight by wearing dark loose clothes. Mar, on the other hand, seemed to dress very much like my younger sister and made an interesting contrast to Charlie.

We were all excited when we reached the sanctuary. After we got out of the transport, we were greeted by two smiling young women who introduced themselves as our guides. Our group was divided and the Williams' sisters and I were assigned to the taller of the guides, Shelley Winters. Besides Mrs. and Mr. Williams, our group also included the Kuhalis who were a young honeymooning couple.

Shelley took us into a little lodge and proceeded to give us a brief overview of the history of the sanctuary and then explained the program for the rest of the day. Since it would be dark soon, we would be visiting all the nocturnal animals. Shelley showed us a holo map of the sanctuary and explained the schedule in more detail. Next, we followed her next door to the hotel where we would be staying so that we could leave our bags and freshen up before we started.

My room was next to the girls so as soon as I was ready I knocked on their door.

"Hi Beth," said Charlie as she opened the door. "I'm ready but Mar is still trying to decide what to wear."

"Umm … Mar, can I help you choose?" I asked.

"Yeah, I want to wear this red skirt. So tell me which top goes better with it?"

I looked at the tops she held up. They were both white and I couldn't see much difference between the two but I knew that if she was anything like Lydia, we could be here till tomorrow if someone didn't make her choose one and get dressed quickly.

"I think the one on the right is perfect. That lace detailing around the neck will look lovely and bring out the sleek cut of the skirt."

Charlie raised her eyebrows at me but Mar was thrilled.

"You're right – this one will look beautiful with the skirt."

I gave Charlie a smile once Mar turned her back. She shook her head in mock dismay. I felt a sudden burst of affection – if I hadn't met them, I was sure that I would have been down in the dumps. They had helped me forget my worries and now things didn't seem quite so bad.

There was another knock at the door and Charlie went to open it. It was their father, looking rather irritated.

"Don't tell me that Mar isn't ready yet!"

"Dad, why don't you go down with Mom and the three of us will be there in a few minutes," suggested Charlie.

With a wry smile, Mr. Williams agreed and left.

It took another ten minutes before Mar was ready. I noticed that she had put on as much eye-makeup as Lydia did. Oh, I really should call her. I was a horrible big sister. I resolved to try harder to have a closer relationship with Lydia.

When we reached the lodge, we found the others waiting impatiently for us. We then followed Shelley to the hovercar and set off on our trip around the sanctuary.

While I lay in my warm bath, I wondered again whether I should send a reply to Darcy. No, it would be best to cut off all contact with him. It was unlikely that we would have any occasion to meet again – he would definitely not come to assess any of our claims in the future!

I called home before I slept and spoke with Mom and Lydia and told them all about my trip and what I would be doing tomorrow. They both seemed rather surprised but pleased to hear from me. I went to bed feeling a lot more cheerful than I had in the morning.