Sorry for keeping you waiting, but here is the new chapter!! Hopefully will have more soon as well as another one-shot! Hope y'all like it :)

Weeks later, with pain and anger coursing through his veins, Dean had just sold his soul to the devil for one more year of life to get back Sam. He also asked that Lex come back to him, under his breath, but that hadn't come true yet. He was eating at the table with a brand spanking new Sammy, back from the dead, wishing that his phone would ring or that his favorite beautiful face would come strolling back through the door.

Nothing happened.

All he could think about was making the deal and a time that he and Lex had spent together playing games. It had been too damn long since he heard from her and it was making him nervous and twitchy. His eyes would flick back at Sam every once in a while and then at his phone. The silence from her was killing him, promising too himself not that long ago that if she came back into his life he wouldn't let her go.

You fuck everything up, Dean.

So even as Bobby questioned and yelled at him, Ellen being alive after the Roadhouse burning down, and hitting the road for Wyoming, Dean was still beating himself up about everything that he had said to or about Lex that last day he saw her. Nothing could calm his mind, as if it knew he only had 364 days left to live and he shouldn't be waiting around and doing nothing.

After the fight, after the demons climbing out of hell and his father saying his last goodbye, and killing the yellow-eyed demon, Dean was spent. Emotionally and physically, he felt like he had already died and gone to hell. As he and Sam went back to his car, Sam getting the truth out of him, he heard a car coming up the road. It was a beat up old Volkswagen Bug, blue and rusty as it putted and spat up the dirt road. When it came to a halt, he watched the door open and a beautifully familiar leg step out.

Lex's face was half coated in blood, as well as most of her clothes. Her long brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her glittering blue eyes were the only thing that shone brightly during that night. He watched as she took off her grime covered leather jacket and threw it back in the car to reveal a clean tight fitting v-neck underneath. He could feel his feet taking him towards her before he could even decide if he should be the one to approach her.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, words coming out of his mouth without him even thinking them.

"Bobby called me, I took out some of the demon's that got pass the tracks but I obviously couldn't get all of them." She sighed, a gun shoved in the back of her jeans as she bent back into her car and grabbed a bottle of water.

"I'm glad you came," he reached out a hand to touch her shoulder, her body stepping back from his reach and she let her eyes come up to meet his.

"What do you want out of us, Dean?" She asked bluntly, throwing her bottle back in the car and slamming the door. Her face had gone red, both hands finding her hips like they always did when she was mad.

"I don't get what you're saying..."

"Is this just some kind of fuck-game, or are we going to be in a relationship? I am not ready to be just some girl you fool around with when you want to, I can't be that girl," she said sadly, Lex's eyes filling with tears.

"You aren't that girl, Lexie, you aren't. I didn't mean what I said to Sammy back at that motel, it just came out completely wrong. I want a relationship, I do, I just can't have one without screwing it up. I'm not good at this romance and happy ever after shit," he moaned, putting his back on the Bug and turning to look at Sam who was silently crying and probably trying to figure a way to save him.

That wasn't going to happen.

"I'm not exactly an expert at this stuff either Dean, all my relationships have ended pretty damn quickly...usually before they begin. But if you're not in this, or not ready to be, let's not start, okay? I'm not ready to lose you again."

Her words rang pure and clear through his mind, now comprehending that she didn't know about his deal yet. He didn't know what to do now, looking back into her eyes and just wanting to hold her, he didn't want to hurt her.

"I am in this, but Lex, I have to tell you something..."

"What Dean, what is it?" She stepped in front of him now, her head coming just up to the bottom of his chin as he looked down at her.

"I...well...I made a deal with the crossroads demon," he muttered, her eyes going wide before her hand came up and slapped him across the face. It stung badly, her hand leaving its mark over an already forming bruise.

"Are you insane? How long did she give you? Huh?" Lex was furious, her whole body shaking with anger as she waited for his answer.

"Sam was dead, Lex, I couldn't leave him like that..."

"How long, Winchester?"

"One year."

He closed his eyes waiting for another slap but it never came. He lifted one lid to see her standing in front of him with tears falling down her cheeks. He wanted to brush them away, tell her it was going to be okay. Everything was how he wanted it now, this one year would be perfect. But he knew that was a lie.

"Dean...how could you?" She whimpered, running away from him before he could answer and into an open pair of arms that his brother held out for her.

Sam held her tightly, her small frame looking even smaller wrapped in his tall body. He looked over at Dean, eyes now more worried and apologetic than before, but Dean couldn't take this. He did what needed to be done, he was the one going to hell, it didn't matter what anybody else thought. It didn't...this was right...he was doing everything right.

What am I going to do?

-----

As they drove off for somewhere to sleep that night, he watched the blue Bug following behind him as they searched for a motel. Sam was quiet in the passenger seat, his foot the only thing making any noise as he tapped it along to the music. Dean could feel the tension gaining in his back and tried to relax in his seat but his body wasn't having any of it. Cracking his neck and stretching out his arms, he finally found a motel and pulled in as Sam jumped out to go get a room. He watched Lex jump out of her car and tell him something really quick before he went to the lobby.

He climbed out of the Impala and grabbed the bags from the backseat before waiting on the hood of the car for Sam to get back. He watched his brother throw a key to Lex and then he grabbed his bag out of Dean's hands before walking to the room. Lex walked over silently to him, taking his hand in hers, she led him in a different direction to another room and then opened the door.

"Wow, this is tacky," she said, breaking the silence finally while her eyes looked around the nautical themed suite complete with fake dead fish on the walls and everything.

"Got that right," he muttered, closing the door behind him. Putting his bag down next to the one bed, he didn't dare question her reasoning for getting their own room before he took of his jacket and watched her do the same.

"Let's take a shower," she said again, keeping their conversation short and to the point. He knew she was still upset, her eyes still tearing up from time to time, but he could tell she was trying to take it all in.

Going into the bathroom with her, he watched her undress as if in slow motion. He watched her carefully, as if this was going to be the last time this would ever happen. He watched the white t-shirt come over her head, her large breasts heavy in a purple lace bra. He looked over each bruised rib, every cut that laced up her sides, and down to her bloody fingers that undid her jeans. As they slid over her hips, he memorized the way they fell off her legs, memorized every contour of her. As she took her underwear off, he took his own clothes off and they climbed into the shower together.

The water was hot and a God send, both of their bodies dirty and covered in carnage from the fight. She grabbed a washcloth and got it sudsy before walking behind him and massaging his aching back and shoulders with it. Lex worked meticulously, not leaving an inch unclean as she washed his whole body. When she was done with his, he returned the favor.

It was quiet, no words coming from either of their lips. This wasn't a sexual thing, something to get them ready to hit the sack...it was something to help them both cope with what was coming. When they got out, he stepped out before her and wrapped her in a big fluffy towel and wrapped one around his hips. Picking her up off the floor, he carried her to the bed and they just laid there the rest of the night.

He would kiss her from time to time, she would cry, and neither talked. As he held her in his arms and they came to terms with the time they had left, Dean knew even more now that he was crazily in love with her. And going to hell was much more scarier knowing he'd never see her face again.