Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Snape was able to get the TV ready surprisingly fast, see how he didn't ask for help or break anything.

(Snape in middle of stage holding a reith)

Snape groaned, thinking his character was about to do something stupid.

SNAPE: Attention all Hogwarts students! Tonight is our annual Yule Ball, so please remember to pick up you Yule Ball Reith and give it to that special someone.

Ok, he thought, he didn't do anything stupid.

(Enter Ginny)

SNAPE: Arghh! Ginger! (Throws reith at her and runs off stage)

Never mind.

"HEY," all the gingers in the room yelled.

"Sorry," he muttered.

(Enter other students)

GINNY: Oh, Hey Harry Potter.

"Not that voice, again," Ginny said, hiding her face in Harry's shoulder.

HARRY: Oh hi Ginny.

GINNY: Fancy seeing you here huh?

HARRY: Well, its the cafeteria so yeah.

"I'm an idiot."

GINNY: Um, So Um, The Yule Ball is coming up.

HARRY: Yeah I know, it is, very very soon.

GINNY: Um, well were you thinking of going with anybody?

Ginny looked up, thinking that maybe Harry's character would ask her.

HARRY: I was, I was just waiting for the right time to ask someone. But, I- I think that times about now so, if you got something the say, then uh, get it out.

GINNY: ARGHHHHH! (holds reith out to Harry.)

"Awww," everyone said, except for Ginny and Harry, who were to busy bushing.

HARRY: Oh is this for me? Oh Ginny how did you know that I needed a reith to ask Cho Chang, your the best!

Harry then got hit by three pillows, and The House of Hades book. He was starting to think that book hated him.

GINNY: (Gets upset) Oh, Harry Potter, Just, forget it! (Runs off crying)

"It's ok, Ginny," Cho and Hermione said, "we'll make sure he asks you to the next dance."

HARRY: Alright I will! Cool!

Harry then got hit by Allegiant. Why did all books hate him?

(Walks over to the girls.)Hey, Hey Cho Chang listen. Uh, I know the Yule Balls coming up and, I was wondering if, uh, maybe you'd wanted to go with me. But, just incase your kind of on the fence about it, you should know that I play guitar, I conquer that dragon's heart with it, and I was thinking I could conquer yours.

"Kill me now."

(Sings) Your tall and fun and pretty, your really really skinny, Cho Chang. I'm the mickey to you Minnie, gonna take you to your winnie, Cho Chang! Your cuter than a guinie pig, wanna take you out to Winniefrig, Thats in Canada! Oh Cho Chang! Chatatata Cho Chang! (Normal)

"It was better with Ginny."

Whatever, ahuh.

CHO: Well, Harry Potter, Bless your heart, um, but I'ma have to say no?

"Even after all that hard work I put into that song? I'm hurt," Harry said in mock sadness.

"Oh, just go cuddle with your girlfriend," Cho said jokingly.

That young strapping boy, Cedric Dig-gory already asked me and I said I'd go with him. Sorry.

"Oh well, in that case, it's fine. I mean, I would love to get asked out by Cedric Dig-gory."

(Gives reith back) Come on girls, lets go show Moaning Murtle our ball gown and mke fun of her 'cause she can't go.

"Now," Dumbledore," Miss Chang, that was very mean of you."

"Sorry," Cho said as everyone chuckled.

GIRLS: Yeah! (Exit Cho and Posse)

(Enter Ron)

RON: Hey little buddy how you doing?

HARRY: I'm okay.

RON: Hey, is that a Yule Ball reith?

HARRY: Yeah.

RON: Who you gonna asthk? [A/N: It's spelt how he pronounces it before anybody says anything]

"Oh my God, Ron! Talk like a normal person. You like embarrassing yourself don't you?" Ginny laughed.

"Of course, who doesn't like embarrassing themselves."

HARRY: Well, I asked Cho Chang but she turned me down for Cedric Stupary.

"What was that Harry?" Ginny asked her boyfriend.

"Believe me, I have no idea," Harry said, then kissed her check.

RON: Oh my god they're going together, that is so great, I love him so much. They are so cute (HARRY: No no no) I hate him, I hate his guts.

"Aww, that's so sweet. You said something to make your friend happy even though it wasn't what you really thought. You two will BFFs forever." The person who said this was, surprisingly, Snape. Needless to say, everyone slow scooted away from him.

(HARRY: Yeah.) I hate him. Oh my God he pisses me off, wow. Oh man that sucks dude, I mean I don't know why she turned you down, your like the coolest guy in school.

"I know. Cho is like a total idiot not to say yes to you."

"You are like so right Ron."

I feel like it's slightly pointless to tell you that everyone backed away from them.

HARRY: I know I don't get it, I play guitar! I'm Harry Potter, I'm Awesome! I don't get it man, I guess I'll just go stag, you know?

"That's what we were just saying."

"OMG, he's like, a total copy-cat."

RON: I'll probably go stag too. The only two girls that I know that haven't got dates are Ginny (Blow raspberries)

"Hey," Ginny said, throwing her pillow at Ron,"meany."

And Hermione (Blow bigger raspberries)

"Hey," both Draco and Hermione yelled. And they both threw pillows. Maybe I should rename this story Attack of the Pillows?

And I'm not going with my stupid sister.

"I guess that's a good reason not to go with me."

"You guess?"

HARRY: And I think of Hermione as my sister so... Thats out.

"I think of her as one? No. Hermione is my sister."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Whatever."

RON: We are in such a puzzle.

(ENter Neville)

NEVILLE: My, look at these strapping young men.

Everyone burst out laughing. At least Neville didn't talk like that in real life.

RON+HARRY: Hey Neville.

HARRY: Hey Neville, you want this Yule Ball Reith?

NEVILLE: Well Yeah, if your willing to part with it then I will take this reith.

"I don't like this Neville."

HARRY: Hey Ron, lets go hang with Hagrid, he can tach us how to dance and we'll get our dress robes.

"This is going to be a disaster," Harry said.

"No kidding.

RON: That can only lead to disaster and hilarity.

HARRY: Lets go!

RON: You know I'm worried about Hermione 'cause I don't think anyones asked her because she is so but ugly.

"HEY!"

HARRY: Hideous. (Exit Harry and Ron)

"HEY!"

Harry and Ron gulped from the death stare both Hermione and Draco were giving them. "Sorry."

(Enter Goyle)

GOYLE: Give that plant nerd.

NEVILLE: Argh! (Rns off stage)

GOYLE: Oh Goyle rules!

(Enter Draco and Crabbe)

DRACO: So anyways, it was quite reluctant enough at first, but I lured it out of its cage with an upside down face and lasoed it with my fruit-by-the-foot and beheaded it wiht a quick slicing charm.

"That was very mean Draco," Hermione said. "Apologize to the dragon."

"Sorry, dragon."

Roddy fool. What? Goyle! What are you doing with that reith? What are you going to ask someone to Yule Ball?

"I petty the poor girl," Cho said.

GOYLE: No! Dancings for nerds.

"Actually," Hermione said,"most nerds don't go to dances. Unless the theme has something to do with something they really like."

CRABBE: And pretty girls.

"Okay," Hermione said," they do go to most dances."

DRACO: So right. You know who the last girl I would ever ask to the Yule Ball would be?

Draco groaned, knowing what would happen. He was preparing for pillows to be thrown.

That Hermione Granger.

Looks like he was correct. Ginny and Cho threw two pillows at him. "Sorry, 'Mione." Hermione just grinned, and kissed his cheek.

Not even if we were the last two people on earth and she looked absolutely stunning in her ball gown and every time I looked at her I'd get butterflies in my tummy, Not even then.

"AWWWWW," Ginny and Cho said,"little Draco is denying his crush."

"Not anymore,"he smiled and kissed Hermione. "AWWWWW," was once again said.

You know. They don't even have dances at Pigfarts. All the noise would disturb Rumbleroars slumbering.

GOYLE: Dancing is for pansies.

(Girl in corner)

DRACO: Hey you there, whats your name?

GIRL: Pansy.

Draco's eyes widened. "Now, me, don't do what I think you're about to do. If you're about to do what I think you're about to do, then be warned. She's crazy. She'll start following you around and being obsessed with you. And that is not fun." Everyone started laughing, and Draco just gave them a look that said Why do you mock my fear?.

DRACO: Perfect! Your going to the Yule Ball with me.

"Why is that me an idiot?!"

"Now you know my pain," Ginny said.

You see that Dragon? (Walks with her going off stage) It was reluctant at first, but I lured it out of its cage and -

"You can quit talking about the Dragon," Ron said.

"Yeah," Harry said,"we all know my way was the best way to defeat it."

(Exit Draco Crabbe and Goyle. Enter Quirrel and Voldy)

QUIRREL: Yule Ball Decorating crew, Just the Yule Ball decorating crew coming through. Last minute decorations.

(Pulls turban off) My Lord, the Yule Ball has finally come and I have brought the key!

VOLDEMORT: Yes, I know Quirrel, I hear EVERYTHING you hear!

"Someone is mad," Snape said.

QUIRREL: I'm sorry.

VOLDEMORT: No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm just nervous thats all.

"Voldemort," Ron said,"nervous. Like that's ever going to happen."

QUIRREL: Nervous?

VOLDEMORT: No,

"But you just said you were."

QUIRREL: Why?

VOLDEMORT: I don't wanna talk about it.

QUIRREL: Hey, its just me. You can tell me, anything. You know that.

VOLDEMORT: Yeah, yeah, your right. I'm just nervous because we have been planning this night for so long and I want everything to go perfectly, you know?

QUIRREL: Don't worry, we've mapped out everything. We've antisipated every little problem and compensated for it. We've even prepared what your going to say to Potter when you see him.

"Okay," Harry said,"that's taking it over the edge.

Just cool down. Relax, by the end of the night you will have your revenge and your body back.

VOLDEMORT: Your right, your right. I'm being, silly. You know, I- Quirrel over the last year, I've grown quite attatched to you, no pun intended.

The kids laughed at this.

QUIRREL: Yeah, I know what you mean, but hey, we'll still hang out. Just because we won't be attatched doesn't mean that we won't be two completely different pople- No pun intended.

And they laughed at this. Why are puns so funny?

VOLDEMORT: No, No of course not. Hey Quirrel, We should make plans.

QUIRREL: Evil plans?

VOLDEMORT: Oh, uhhhhh, No, casual plans. Like umm, we can go rollerblading on Saturday, and see a movie at night.

"He wants to go on a date," the girls squealed," how cute." Needless to say, the boys slowly scooted away.

QUIRREL: Yeah, it'll be great because we'll both be able to watch it for a change.

VOLDEMORT: Yeah, yeah. I bet it will be nice to sleep in our own beds. Not have someone behind you all the time.

QUIRREL: And have the privacy of my old life back again. Solitude. (Both sigh)

"AWWW," The girls said," it's so cute. Neither want that to happen."

VOLDEMORT: No, whatever happens tonight man, its been a blast!

QUIRREL: Yeah, one crazy year!

VOLDEMORT: Blahh! (Tongue sticking out)

Everyone in the room screamed. What he just did was terrifying.

QUIRREL: Hey, Promise we'll go rollerblading and see that movie.

VOLDEMORT: Oh, man. I promise!

(Quirrel hugs himself and both smile) Okay, Quirrel lets go plant that key and split. Pun intended!

The kids laughed. Again.

(Quirrel puts turban back on) (Eter Snape)

SNAPE: Why professor Quirrel, What on earth are you doing in the great Daaaance hall? Just moments before the daaaance.

QUIRREL: Just decorating for the Yule Ball last minute decorations.

"Duh, Snape," Ron said," whey do you have to be so stupid."

Everyone waited to see what Snape would do, but he acted like he hadn't heard a thing. He was probably planning his revenge.

Just one last touch.

SNAPE: A ladle?

QUIRREL: A very special ladle for a very special night for a very special punch.

SNAPE: And whats so special about it?

QUIRREL: Lets just say theres squirt, in it.

"What's squirt?"

"Something tells me I don't want to know."

SNAPE: Squirt? Is that not the favourite drink of one Harry Potter?

"Never heard of it."

QUIRREL: Is it? I had no idea. Well we better be going.

SNAPE: We?

QUIRREL: I! I better be going! Loud music hurts my ears!

"Nice save," Dumbledore chuckled.

SNAPE: Okay! Well I'll see you later then.

QUIRREL: Or maybe you won't.

SNAPE: Or maybe I will!

"You two are weird."

(Exit Quirrel and enter Dumbledore)

DUMBLEDORE: Scuse me, it was my fault. Hey Severus!

SNAPE: Oh, Headmaster.

DUMBLEDORE: What are you doing here? Getting some punch are you?

SNAPE: Oh no no no. Theres squirt in it.

DUMBLEDORE: Oh, only Harry Potter likes that Hogshit,

"Haha," Ron said," Harry drinks hogpoop." He was then hit with a pillow.

I'll stick with my red bull. Thank you very much.

SNAPE: Well, goodnight Headmaster.

DUMBLEDORE: Severus, I saved this last dance for you.

"AWWW,"the girls said, then realized what they were doing and shivered in disgust.

SNAPE: Well I would Headmaster, but you see, well an old friend is coming back into to town tonight. Aha, haha, hehehaa, (Exits stage still laughing.)

"That doesn't make it sound like your going to do something evil at all," Hermione said, getting up to set up the next scene.

So, yeah, I"m kinda running out of ideas, so if you have any shoot. You can mention it in a review or PM me. As long as it's funny or interesting, it'll probably get in. See ya latter.